Elise

"Wait, he was with Lyle?" I asked as Aria told me before scarfing down her hot dog.

"Uh-huh." She nodded and chugged her water. "I swear, there's something bad going on with him."

"Okay, let's start off by slowing down." I gently grabbed her hand to put the water down, only for her to pull away.

"My water."

"You're gonna choke."

"So?" Aria shrugged as she continued drinking her water at an insane rate. "Why does it matter?"

"You're the one holding this group together. If you weren't here, we'd fall apart."

"Yeah, no thanks to you."

Bitch, what? At first my eyebrows scrunched and I was gonna cuss her out until I remembered what happened Saturday. I slowly nodded and accepted her rightful frustration. "Right... Sorry about that."

"Seriously, what happened?" she asked. "I mean, you and Johnny seemed fine, then you of all people were in such a sour mood."

"I was really hungover."

"I knew it!" Aria sprung up and pointed at me.

"Aria, I–"

"I just knew you were wasted!"

"Okay, I admit it–"

"So is this like a regular thing with you? If it is, then you need to get some help."

That does it, I slammed my hands on the table and prepared to throw her shit back in her face.

"Oh look, brownie points for you 'cause you happened to be right for once in your life, hooray!" I mocked in a whiny voice before getting right to the point. "Alright, keep your panties on. I'm having enough trouble as it is hiding this from my parents. I don't need you blabbing about it to everyone."

"I won't."

"Thank you."

"Under one condition." Aria emphasized. "Talk to Johnny."

"No thanks."

"Seriously?" She scoffed. "He is bugging me, I mean look at this!"

Aria pulled out her phone and scrolled through all the texts. Some made my eyebrows spring up.

"Damn. He's really got nobody else?" I asked.

"Of course he has people, but for some reason he can't go to his boys nor Lyle."

"He's too proud to be that open with him."

"Well he needs to get over it. In fact, I'm going to tell him that right now." Aria took her phone back and immediately texted him. Once she was done, she turned to me and said, "Also I told him you wanted to talk later."

"Aria!" I yelled, causing some people to look our way though I didn't care.

"What? I'm doing you a favor." Aria whispered, trying her hardest not to make a scene.

"That's some bullshit." I told her.

"Trust me, it'll help–"

"Bullshit!" I hastily repeated.

Aria lowered her head and glared. "Are you done?"

"No!" I responded in a hushed tone. I felt myself breathing profusely. I looked down at the table and sat in my spot again, letting the adrenaline dissolve before facing Aria once more. "Yeah, now I'm done."

"Good. So will you talk to him? Please?"

"Not a chance in hell." I scoffed before turning away. I took my things and left. Aria called out for me in the distance only to fizzle into nothing once I plugged in my earbuds. I didn't have time for him, I didn't have time for family problems, my hands were full. With everything weighing down on my head, I took a moment to stop by my locker. My eyes narrowed in on the silver, metal flask hidden in the right corner. My heart skipped a beat at the sight of that luscious drink. One swig and it would all go away. It wasn't an ideal solution, but at the same time it was just so...easy.

Slug it down, sister, I nodded as my shaky hand reached down to grab the flask while I checked both ways. In one fell swoop, the liquor went into my mouth. The burning sensation that used to rupture my throats was nothing more than a pinch in the grand scheme of things. I licked my lips and placed it back into my locker. I slammed the door to see a familiar face watching down the hall.

"Can I help you?" I asked while glaring at him.

He gulped and shook his head. "Nope."

"Great. See ya on Friday."

"Y-yeah." Dylan responded as he slowly walked away. I did the same and with the liquid or should I say, liquor courage in my system, nothing could go wrong.

* * * * *

"Are you fucking serious?" I couldn't help but shriek once this dumbass revealed something that was wrong on so many levels. "You lost our project?"

Sweat dripped down his face as he scratched his head. He let out a nervous chuckle while he blushed. "Yeah, I'm real sorry about that."

"You should be."

"You are so getting your ass beat for this, Reed." Derek bellowed in that manly voice of his as he pounded his fist into his palm. He inched closer, to magnify his intimidating, toned body. God, he was such a meathead.

"Dude, calm your tits." I told him which made Derek slightly refrain from making Reed shit himself.

Meanwhile, I held onto my head and shook it as I tried to process how the hell this happened. "How exactly did you lose what we had?"

"Well, I uh... I-I may have done some editing when my computer crashed."

"Editing?" Liv, our fourth member, spoke up and looked Reed in the eyes. "We were finished."

"Apparently someone wasn't reading the assignment correctly and we had it all wrong."

"What?" My nose wrinkled as he pulled out his tablet and scrolled to the directions. He pointed and I almost couldn't breathe.

"Yeah..." Reed nodded as the rest of our group came over. "Wanna kill me now?"

"Yep." Derek responded.

"Not as much, but this makes no sense!" Liv took the tablet away and looked at it herself. "Elise, you got it started on Friday, right?"

"Uh-huh." I answered while staring off into space.

"I added on and Derek did too. I know damn well, she wouldn't fuck this up for us."

"Oh, and I would?" Derek defended himself to a dramatic degree.

"Wasn't talking to you, idiot."

Derek grumbled to himself as Reed responded. "I'm not blaming anyone. I'm just saying, this was doomed from the start. Now that we have nothing, we have a chance to get this right "

"In two days." Liv scoffed.

"Sure, that's a bit of time crunch, but we can do it. Right, Elise?"

I continued staring at that interesting painting on the wall. All this boring white walls around school, yet this part of the hall had a colorful, moving design. There was a shining sun, an indigo sky filled with stars, and an endless field of dreams. I swore my life was like that once. Someone who lived in a fantasy world. Freedom let me breathe, though reality made me fall. That field of dreams was just a burnt acre of despair. Nothing I did could give it life again.

The emptiness ate away inside as I stood by and took in the artwork without a care in the world. In the midst of my admiration, a finger tapped my shoulder.

"Elise?" Reed asked again.

"Yeah?" I responded while continuing to look at the colorful wall.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." I told him and turned around for reassurance. "Seriously, I'm great."

"Okay." Reed agreed as he walked away.

I prepared to bring my ideas on improvement to the group only for Russell to approach with the usual pink slip. Instead of pressing forward, I told them. "Listen, I've gotta go. You guys start on this reboot project and let me know what I can do."

"We will." Liv nodded.

"Cool."

After getting things settled, I grabbed my things and the slip before meeting to a place I wasn't expecting.

"No." I squinted down at the words on the slip and then raised my eyes above at the open pavement outside. "This can't be right."

"I'm afraid it is." Lyle responded as he came by with his bag.

"Why are meeting outside? Shouldn't we be meeting in his office or something?"

"I know." He nodded and chuckled. "It seems weird, but it is a beautiful day."

He pointed at the sky which was a nice shade of blue and filled with a fair amount of clouds. The weather wasn't sweltering nor was it freezing. I didn't feel suffocated, I didn't feel anxious, everything was perfect.

"Check out that sky."

Oh shit, I bit my lip as that voice rang in my ears. What followed was a few footsteps which stopped right next to us. Specifically next to me. Within the line of my peripheral vision, he stood and spoke again. "It's like that movie with the living toys."

"I wasn't a fan of it." Lyle responded.

"Say what?" Johnny turned his head to Lyle, who was on the other side of me.

"Yeah, it always made me feel depressed growing up. I don't know, something about the owners choosing favorites and ignoring their children or whatever felt too real." Lyle shrugged. "Plus it didn't have quite the emotional punch as the sequels."

"You have a point there. What do you think, Elise?"

Dude, don't even bother, I kept my mouth shut which brought about some awkward silence for at least two solid minutes. Eventually, the last of us four joined. Correction-the last two.

"You can't just go up to a girl and tell her she's ugly or talentless even if it's mostly true." Aria argued while walking nearby.

"People that can't handle the truth are real pussies." Dominic responded. "I couldn't care less about if they was a guy or some chick. Either way, I tell it like it is."

"Fine, but don't come crying to me if you get kneed in the balls."

"Oh trust me, I won't."

"Sweet." Aria concluded once she officially joined us. We all stood in a line unintentionally next to people we couldn't stand. Well, I could stand Lyle, but not Johnny. As for Dominic, he was sandwiched between Lyle and Aria. I also wasn't any closer to her too. God, this was really a stellar group to be planning school events.

None of us said a single word to each other until we saw Normack's silhouette come more into focus. Beside him were the alumni that made their class stand out.

"Whoa." Lyle remarked as a slim, tall guy walked closer. I felt Lyle's body shaking to the point I had to hold him still. When I got a better look at his face, I knew what was up.

"That's Isaac Nettesheim." Johnny gasped.

"I know." Lyle whispered.

"There's that popular girl." Aria pointed out at the blonde girl with perfect skin, rosy red top, black skirt, and matching heels. "Ashley Lowell, I think."

"Yo, they ain't that cool." Dominic sneered in a playful manner only to be shut down by their stony glares. Dominic went completely silent.

As they walked away, I leaned over and nudged him. "A word of advice; don't fuck with them or myself. We just don't have the time."

"I see that, sister." Dominic nodded. "Or maybe these fools just can't handle me and all I'm worth."

"Don't pride yourself, man. You'll be real disappointed."

I left him speechless again before coming over to meet this crew of people. I planned to visit the dark-haired girl who seemed chill, except for the fact she wouldn't stop texting. I tried the other Hispanic guy who spoke with Dominic fluently in Spanish. They kept going faster and faster, so I backed away and turned to the first person I saw. Even though he was clearly preoccupied with the others, I still gave him a chance.

"Can I just say you're a real inspiration?" Lyle gushed once he met this Isaac person first-hand.

"Yeah." Johnny agreed. "You got the legacy award for basketball and a trophy for soccer. How dope is that?"

"I actually got a few." Isaac corrected him.

"Didn't your legacy award speech go viral?" Aria asked.

"It sure did." Isaac nodded.

"Andrew's reaction always gets me." Aria pulled up the video and pointed as Isaac leaned in with his eyes narrowed over where she was pointing. I watched as bright smile slowly emerged on his face.

"Yep. He didn't see that coming. Nobody did except–"

"Speaking of which, where is he?" Aria asked. "The guy you came out for?"

"Oh." Isaac nervously chuckled for awhile and scratched his head. "He's, uh...he's long gone. He left for Yale weeks ago and is now living the dream...without me."

Everyone got very quiet when he said that. When she realized what she unraveled, Aria covered her mouth. "Shit, I'm so sorry if I–"

"It's fine." Isaac sniffled and folded his arms. "We dated for over a year and it was one of the greatest times of my life... but like all good stories, everything comes to an end. We said our goodbyes and now he lives his life, while I live mine. Besides, I'm doing pretty fine myself."

"Well that's good." Aria nodded.

"Yeah man, it would totally suck if you got all sad and never got out of that hole." Johnny teased.

"What'd you say?" I responded to everyone's surprise.

Johnny's face went pale and he didn't say a word. His silence left me nodding in satisfaction. "That's what I thought."

It was long before Normack's returned where the awkwardness subsided. He asked us all to bring our ideas to the table which we did. Aria went first.

"So I was thinking we could do an Arabian Nights theme?" Aria cracked a smile in the middle of her pitch. "You know, with Sinbad, flying animals, and middle-eastern culture. That or Aladdin-type things."

"What is this, Bollywood?" Dominic scoffed.

Aria growled a bit though she brushed his words off. Normack nodded and turned to Lyle. "Was this a group effort?"

"Well I liked the animals."

"Surprise, surprise." Johnny remarked and laughed aloud only for me to nudge him hard in the stomach. "Ow."

Lyle cleared his throat before continuing again. "Maybe we could add some sparkle?"

"Sparkle?" I blurted out while my eyebrows raised.

Lyle looked over at me, unimpressed. "Of course. If we want to turn back time with a mix of the decades, we will need a lot of flash."

"We don't have the budget for that."

"We can be flexible." Normack chimed in, bringing all eyes his way. "Unless it's all spent on costumes and a DJ. You wouldn't happen to be doing that, now would you?"

"I think we can provide our own."

"Yeah, me no pienso these personas–"

"Pick a language!" Ashley shouted at...Javier? I believe that was his name.

He gulped for a moment until he shook his head and gave his opinion. "They can't afford that. You think people have endless money? Ah, you must be real silly, chico."

Lyle frowned and grumbled a bit before Normack nodded to me, cuing my proposal. "Honestly, I think Homecoming's overrated."

"What makes you sat that?" Normack asked while folding his arms.

"For starters, it's just another excuse to get wasted and screw the next hot body in the room. However, I think if we encouraged more on the dance front with better music... it won't turn into an orgy."

Almost everyone burst out in laughter while Normack stood there shaking his head. "Get to the point, Miss Roswell."

"Okay, how about we bring in all the catchy songs. The ones that have line dances-no country though."

"Aw..." Aria complained. "But I love country!"

"Well that's too bad 'cause our class hates it." I followed up. "Anyways, we'd still make this pop by using a decent amount of decorations, fun stuff like a photo booth, plus it would be decked out with our school colors. Red, white, black, and even a splash of lavender in there because that color rocks."

Things seemed to be flowing smoothly as everyone listened to my ideas. However, halfway into the explanation on what we'd to show our senior pride, I heard Johnny snickering. I turned right around and demanded an answer. "What's so funny?"

"Nothing." Johnny sniffled though he still had that smug grin on his face.

"You sure about that? I'd love to hear your insightful comments."

"Elise–"

"Have at it, Johnny boy. The floor is yours. Just don't leave a mess."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Johnny's eyes squinted as he raised his voice.

"It means you're an idiot who never–"

I couldn't stop myself. My lips worked faster than my mind that by the time I caught up, Johnny was covering his ears and trying to get away while I felt a tug on my arm.

"Let's go."

"Hey, get off of me!" I tried resisting though she kept pulling me away until bringing me to a nice shady spot. When I looked up, I saw who it was. She, on the other hand, wasn't fazed in the least bit by my reaction.

"Girl, you have got some real issues." Ashley began.

"Don't we all?"

"Yeah, it's not a good color on you."

"Neither is that." I pointed out at her very bright red top which was god awful. I knew she was trying to be cute, sexy, and professional all in one, but this wasn't working.

Ashley rolled her eyes and frowned. "Okay, listen. I may have been the pretty, shallow, popular girl everyone hated and guess what? I changed. Now I have a guy who loves me back, friends who won't leave me, and enough respect for myself not to settle for less while not clawing for more either. You have these things too and you're throwing it away."

"Say what?" I asked in disbelief since she didn't seem to understand how I work. "What guy loves me?"

"That blond one over there."

I saw her point over to Johnny, inaudibly telling some joke that made everyone laugh including Lyle.

She must be living in a dreamland. I shook my head and scoffed. "Well I don't love him."

"And maybe it's true." Ashley shrugged. "Maybe it won't work out. I remember fawning over a guy and made the mistake of being with him when he wasn't ready. My dream became my nightmare and it got really ugly. Now we're good friends and he's happy, I'm happy, everyone's happy. That can be you too."

"I don't see it working out."

"Of course not 'cause you don't believe in love and all that shit. I get it." Ashley nodded. "Trust me, we're more alike than you realize."

"Are we though?"

"It's not easy, but you just have to let go."

"Let go of what?" My ears perked up when she said that.

"Whatever's making you so angry all the goddamn time." Ashley looked me in the eyes before steeping closer. "I've been there too. Hate the world and it'll hate you back, but who cares? You don't. So how's that working out for you?"

"Oh fuck off."

"There's your answer." Ashley chuckled. "Listen, if you wanna keep playing this game? Go right ahead, but you'll always lose."

Oh...I grabbed my arm and shuddered. A chill went through me once I heard those words. I didn't know what it was but it got me straight in the heart. Right in the soul. Not that she was correct or anything, though she did have a point about the endless hate.

I stood still as Ashley touched my shoulder. "Now come on, let's see what they're up to."

I silently went along back to the group with her words fresh on my mind. While I didn't fully trust Ashley's speech nor was I ready to forgive Johnny yet, I did feel more at ease. It was exhausting before. It drained me inside hating all the time. Hating my brother, hating my mother, hating Johnny, hating myself, and those nasty cheerleaders, life in general, all of that was so exhausting. I just couldn't let go. Now... I could breathe again. Though it would only be a matter of time before I'd feel this way again.

* * * * *

Picture: Isaac Nettesheim