Relaxing for a couple of hours actually settled my mind, and as the subject of clothes came up, choosing what kimono, I suddenly came up with a really bright idea. (stop laughing, I can be clever sometimes...ok, occasionally....stuff the lot of you, stop bloody laughing).

Shai was delighted. (sticks tongue out at the lot of you, ha!), she melted from the room to find Shinshoni and the posse whilst I lounged lazily in cushions and furs.

((Look, I know there's that whole 'gasp, horror, real fur, yahda, yahda', but trust me, spend some time wrapped in the real thing and you might change your mind, especially when its so freakin', fecking, cold))

I was nursing a warm sake when Lord Shingen arrived, already changed, I guess he'd been over in his Private Chambers, his formal robes added to his height somehow, I could sense he was also refreshed and more relaxed as he sat down next to me after pouring himself a drink.

I smiled into my reflection, my little plan didn't show in my eyes at all. Yes. Nailed it. Phew.

"...tomorrow's rota ..."

"I'm sorry, what?" I hadn't noticed Shingen was talking to me, he shook his head a little and smiled back at me.

"It's not important, we will speak of it later."

We both studied our drinks for a while, the silence wasn't awkward, just very long.

"Thank you." Were the only words I came up with. Wow. Not particularly showing your intelligence Tamara. I gave myself a mental slap.

"Tamara, come here." I scrabbled in my robe and furs and he chuckled softly, tucking them in around me as I curled up next to him. I lay my head on his chest and he wrapped an arm around my shoulders, he was so warm, right through the furs and his heart beat was loud and steady in my ear.

We sat together like that for so long I started to drift off.

"LORD SHINGEN!"

We barely had time to react, as the doors swung open.

Shai, Shinshoni and a whole flurry of women swept into the room in force.

I've only ever seen Lord Shingen react so quickly on the battlefield, so fast, in a blink he was on his feet, had handed me his cup, saying: "This is far too many women, even for me," in the next.

He grinned broadly and disappeared almost as quickly as a ninja. I'm not sure if Shai even chose to recognise his presence in the room, she was like a cavalry commander organizing the women, she clapped her hands sharply and then beckoned me over.

I took one more warm, furry, sake moment, then padded over to the posse.

* * * * *

I stood in front of the Main Hall doors, shrouded in a long cloak with Shai and Shinshoni flanking me. Behind the door there were raucous cheers, loud voices and the smell of sake hung in a soft curtain arounds us.

We were all stifling giggles as Shai asked the retainers not to announce us, but just open the doors. From their hasty nodding I guessed she was using that mind trick again.

I had to take a moment to find a serious expression, then the gravity of this Feast landed on me, and I breathed deeply before my thoughts had time to swirl as the doors swung open .

The Hall quietened in stages, there was no introduction, and I hadn't stepped into the lights. The only person who was directly in my line of sight was Lord Shingen on the dais, and as I was more in shadow, he stood sharply, crossed his arms and narrowed his eyes, his stance alert.

I stepped to just inside the door and there were murmurs of recognition and welcome, which stopped abruptly as Shai and Shinshoni took the cloak from my shoulders and I swept back the folds of it I had wrapped around me.

My eyes were locked on to Shingens' I saw complete surprise on his face before his laugh warmly bounced around the Hall.

I was wearing a lot of layers, but the details caused the effect - as an outer layer jacket I was wearing the first kimono I wore in this Hall, the dark blue shimmering silk, embroidered with flocks of white cranes. Sashed to my side was my katana, and I was wearing trainers.

Those present who had been there on that first rainy afternoon joined in, whilst more than a few looked totally lost or suspicious. I took a couple of steps forward, sank to my knees (almost gracefully I might add), and swept the sleeves forward, placing my forehead on the floor.

'My Lord Takeda Shingen' My voice was clear in the silence that had appeared. I then sat back up to a kneeling position with my head still bowed. I felt his stride towards me vibrate through the boards under me, and saw him bend a knee from the edge of my vision as he leant down.

He gently lifted my chin and there was nothing else in the world at that moment but his face in front of me.
'My Lady' He said softly, his eyes warm. He let my chin go and offered his hand to help me up.

I was grateful, I hadn't really thought about that part, and if it wasn't for his easy strength I would not have done that well. The Hall fluttered with waves of low noise as we walked to the dais arm in arm.

Yukimura stood with his brother Noboyuki , and looked about to cry, whilst his brother looked at him and then to me totally perplexed. I caught the vague outline of Saizo, but he seemed to have found a convenient half shadow to lurk in.

Food began to arrive the second we sat down, and Shai joined me brining a large sake flask and cups. My brain reminded me sharply of the consequences of drinking too much of that vile tasting restorative, 'bugger it' my sake side said and swept the memory clean.

I'm not sure if it was just because it was familiar, but the food was amazing - somehow all the rich and delicate flavours over the course of the travelling seemed 'prepared' whereas this felt like 'belonging', the word might sound odd but is the closest I can find.

Shingen leant towards me in a rush of hair.

"Promise me you will never stop doing that"

"What's that exactly?" I had no idea

"Never stop surprising me" I shrugged and smirked back his reply, a little too full of sake.

"It occurs to me My Lord that I am who I am...if that still surprises you then ...."

He shut me up with the lightest, briefest of kisses, then sat back up smiling, leaving me in a daze.

With the hall returning to solid drinking, Lord Shingen rose to address them, and by degrees things quietened . He lifted me to my feet and held me to him, then placed a large hand over mine.

I could feel the air around him change, he had switched to Lord Takeda Shingen, he was taller, more imposing, radiating power and strength as his voice filled every shadow, every ear, every inch of space.

"We are grateful to the Fates to have returned safely from the Treaty Talks"

There was a low rumble as Nobunaga's name was spat around the Hall - Shingen raised an arm for Silence.

"Lady Tamara agreed to take the role at my side to show the strength of the Takeda Clan and Name."

There was absolute silence.

I tried not to look, but from those I saw, Shingen must have already briefed them earlier today, many looked into their sake cups with tight lipped expressions.

"Lady Tamara" He looked down at me, his aura was intoxicating to be so close to. "You showed as much courage as I have seen on the battlefield from any man, and that you have a Tiger's heart."

I looked down, he was getting me back for what I had unwittingly said.

"I release you from your role and you have my gratitude and thanks" He bowed deeply to me, and the words I had prepared to say dried up in my throat, all I could do was smile back and try not to be a stupid idiot and cry.

I vaguely heard a toast in my name, the Takeda Bishi chanted and another toast, but I kept studying Shingen.

His Lordly side never wavered, and I felt the ties between us snap and fall away.

He was what he was.

The Takeda Clan Lord. I took my hand from his arm and he gave me the briefest of nods.

I looked at my hands for a second, then stepped from the dais and left the Hall. I had to pause to remember which way to turn, then headed to my room. I wasn't going to cry. I wasn't going to cry...and to save me the trouble it started to rain.

An icy blast sank through the kimono, I had left my cloak, but I didn't care, I set my jaw, hoisted up the front skirt of the kimono and marched myself through the sleet.

My room was warm and dark. The small space immediately wrapped itself around me - I grabbed a fur on my way to the back corner wall and sank down to the floor in the shadows.

There were no tears, no wildly racing heart, or any pain. Just the warm, dark comfort of my room.

I jumped awake at the sound of my door sliding shut, and had to think for a moment where I was.

Shai's slim outline moved silently towards me, then her dark eyes loomed into mine. She reached up and smoothed a few wisps of hair off my face before gently stroking my cheek.

"Tamara, I have to return to the Sanctuary before the snows come."

Now I felt sadness as another bond felt like it was breaking.

"You many come with me now if you wish, or stay and return in the spring."

I had no idea what lay ahead, but leaving now felt like running from something. I stared into her eyes but before I could speak her face lit up and and she hugged me.

"Well done!" She exclaimed.

"Another test?"

"No, another choice."