"To think that love is like a rose. They bloom beautifully when they are in season and the sun shines on them but days after, they wilt..."

I didn't know how to explain these feelings when I first saw him. It was the first day of school. He was one of the popular jocks, while I was some ordinary geek girl. Our first meeting wasn't so pleasant either. I was supposed to get my books in my locker when we bumped into each other, my temper got me, so I insulted him and he insulted back. How ironic, isn't it? At first, we hated each other so much that we argued a lot. I remember calling each other insulting names and also pranked each other. Nonetheless, I didn't know how or when we became so close, but we became best friends, and I'm grateful about that. We spent our days after school in the library, reading scientific books that make no sense to him and he despises it, but then he still read it with me.

Those days continued, until she came into his life... She was new to our school and the teacher ordered him to guide her around, and he agreed. After that, he told me that she was so kind and so pretty. I didn't notice, but I was jealous. I became conscious of my appearance, I began to style my hair and put on a little make-up, so that he would notice me but he didn't.

He was still captivated by her. I tried everything to make him notice me, but all of it failed. Just then, I finally realized, that if he really chose her to be his one true love, then I have no choice but to let him go, we were still best friends though, I'll be the perfect best friend that he'll ever have. To comfort, laugh and smile with him.

Prom came and he decided that he'll ask her to be his girl. As his best friend, I gave him my advice and tip. He listened attentively and he did exactly what I told him, even though my advice is a little lame. It became successful and he is in a relationship. After prom, he came to me and thanked me. I smiled, hiding the pain from my overflowing feelings for him and I think it will be the last time I'll see him, but apparently, not.

Days after, I avoided him like the plague, good thing we didn't have classes together. I avoided him until our graduation; his relationship was still going strong, I didn't want to talk to him because I saw him with her, but he called my name and I froze. He walked, stopped in front of me, smiled and hugged me, asking me where I have been and telling me that he missed me a lot. I told him that I was busy and also missed him and hugged him back. He broke our hug and told me devastating news. He's going to propose to her after our graduation... Really, why do I deserve such miserable fate! But then, I remembered that I already let him go. I faked a smile and encourage him to do it. He grinned and bid goodbye to me to be with her.

After he left, I dropped my smile but smiled again for he is happy with her, I think I'm going crazy. Later at graduation, I bid my other friends goodbye but not to him. I quickly went to my parents and they congratulated me and kissed my cheeks, at least I have them to comfort me. My parents and I went to our car to leave the country, I told my other friends about it, but to him I didn't. I didn't want him to be worried and have their relationship broken because of me (or not), so the easiest way for him not to be worried about me nor will I regret leaving, is that I won't be telling him I'll be leaving and why.

I sat at our car and my father started the engine, we were having lively conversations. We rode out to the airport; our luggage was at the trunk. I looked out the window and saw the buildings passing by; I opened the window of the car and the breeze blew into my hair. We were about half mile away from the venue of the graduation, when I heard someone calling my name. My eyes widened in shock, I looked at the back and saw him running towards our car. He was running at the speed of light since he's on track and field at our school. I kept staring at his running figure until I fake smiled and waved bye at him. He stopped with confusion on his face, confusion turned into sadness as our car sped up some more and his face showed how lonely he'll be when I'll be gone.

I looked back at the front and I couldn't stop my tears from falling, my mother squeezed my hand and father just gave me a sympathizing look, then I looked back at the road. I quickly wiped my tears away, hiding the pain from these forbidden feelings for him. My mother released her hands from mine, I smiled sadly at her. I looked at the back of the car from the window and I saw his figure getting smaller and smaller.

We arrived to the airport and got our luggage out, we checked them in and got our boarding passes and waited for boarding at the departure area. While we were waiting for the plane, I was listening to music. It was Moonlight Sonata 1st movement by Beethoven; this music matches my mood right now; it's slow, depressing and most of all, sad... Why did this music even playing in one of my most depressing moments? I decided to skip the song and it played a requiem, Lacrimosa of Mozart. Ugh! Why is it playing sad and death songs, I don't understand! I frowned and stopped the music and started reading a book. Few minutes later, our plane arrived and we got in.

When the plane took off, I looked out of the window and saw the country, where I met him and grew our friendship with, began to shrink little by little. During the flight, I continue to read the book while listening to music, this time it's an upbeat song. It was a long flight, twelve hours exactly, and we have just departure about thirty minutes ago. I don't know how I can stop my boredom, but one thing for sure was that I can have some sleep for the majority of time while I'm here. Though I said that, I truly can't have any sleep because I was remembering the memories we made at school, the library and the last hug we just shared at our graduation. I know he must have a lot of questions in his mind and confused as to why I left, but don't worry about that! Maybe in the future when we'll be older I might tell him but for now we'll just wait and see...

Hours have passed and I slept, thankfully. My sleep was stopped due to the pilot announcing the arrival to our destination, which will be in fifteen minutes. After those minutes, we have finally arrived at the city of love and lights, Paris, located at the north-eastern part of France. How depressing, when the country you will be living for the rest of your life is a romantic country and you just let go the love of your life. Oh how ironic! As in, really...

My new life here in Paris was great, actually. In my new school, I met a lot of cool people and new friends, boys and girls, with the same liking as I do which is to read books. When school started, I'm a new student at a university and my major is medicine. I already knew the language when I was still at the country, studying as an extracurricular. I thought that studying a language is really fun and it was worth it, because now I can understand and practice orally with the natives!

Eight years have passed, I finished my studies and finally got my degree in medicine and I'm now a chemist in a decent laboratory near the centre district of Paris. I got very successful at a very young age with the new experiments of new substances with my team and I was so happy and I've finally forgot and moved on from you...

Nonetheless, the happy days weren't supposed to be forever. I got diagnosed of leukaemia, a sickness of having a high numbers of abnormal white blood cells in the body. I don't know when it started or how I got it but one day I just collapsed at the laboratory and I woke up at a hospital and the doctor told me that I have chronic leukaemia. I maybe knew why I got it, though. With my experiments I use unknown substances and that's why I got my disease.

Anyways, I spent my days at the hospital, lying and sitting at the bed while reading a book or watching T.V that was been set in my room. Every day, my parents come visit me and they told me stories or trivia on what I've been missing outside these confine walls. They were really sad and upset about my sickness but they were still smiling and being strong for my sake. I know that losing a child is so painful and miserable but I hope after I die, or not, if I'll survive, they'll still be happy and continue with their life. I don't want them to be sad always. I don't want them to be always mourning for me. So I kept on smiling, even if my life is slowly draining, I'm willing to smile for them, to know that it's okay, that I'm going to be fine...

At some days, my other friends and some colleagues from work were visiting me. They have brought me gifts, fruits and flowers, specifically white roses; they're so pretty and innocent. My friends asked me how I'm feeling and I answered them with a "fine" or "okay". My colleagues from work told me that they missed me and the experiments won't be the same without my guidance. I told them that even without me, it'll still be successful.

After the visiting hours, I was sitting at my hospital bed, thinking of the possibilities if I didn't have this sickness, I would have continued my experiments with my team and still become successful with them. I would be happy with my parents and will take care of them when they're older but now, I can't do any of those things for I have this stupid sickness! At those moments, I let myself be vulnerable and cry. I sobbed until I'm out of tears and slept.

Every time I slept, I dreamt of him; his smile, his laugh, his face when he's happy, all of him and his perfectly imperfect flaws but those sweet dreams turned into nightmares when I dreamt of him and his current girlfriend. Sometimes, I'll just wake up from those dreams and instantly sobbed my eyes out.

A few days ago, I received calls from our country from my old friends. They asked how I'm feeling and doing, I responded them with same answer to my colleagues. They knew my sickness when my mother accidentally texted one of them, through my phone, thinking it was my father. Since there is time difference, here at Paris and there, that friend received it early morning and she read it eventually when the sun rose. When she read the message that I was at the hospital, she called my phone and my mother answered. She asked my mother what had happened to me and mother explained through sobs. She panicked, thanked mother for the explanation, hanged the phone call and contacted the others. She texted the others, except him, what had happened to me and they should meet up at her house.

The others went quickly to her house and demanded an explanation. She told what mother told her and they're really sad about me. I'm relieved they didn't told anything to him, they must've understand that I didn't want to worry him and tell the news that after years of separation, he recently heard that his best friend is diagnosed with a life-draining sickness.

Sometimes, I was wondering of how he's doing, how's his health; did he eat properly or did he eat junk foods? Though that's impossible because his goal is to be a famous athlete and to be an athlete, he needs to be healthy. Now that I think about it, has he become a sports athlete or did he change his mind-set that being a sports athlete isn't going to work out for him because the salary is low, or maybe if he became popular, he'll gain more money.

However, I also thought if he ever got married and had children with her after he graduated at the university. Oh, how I wish to see his smile and be happy again! Although, I want to be the reason behind those, nonetheless, I still want him to be happy.

Days passed, I still went with the same routine of lying on the bed, watching television, my parents and friends visiting me until the Sun set down from the horizon. Until one day, a big surprise came in. When I was watching the television, I heard a knock from my door; I thought it was a nurse to check upon me, so I told her to come in. I was still watching the T.V when she entered, so I turned my head to the door and I was so shocked that my eyes were wide as saucers!

I didn't expect this occasion, it was so surreal! Just a step forward from the door, was him! He was holding a bouquet of a variety colour of chrysanthemums and he was smiling happily at me but his eyes said something else; pity, sympathy, sadness, regret...

I froze on my bed, my mouth was slightly apart, my eyes were starting to water, and I didn't know what to do! So, I composed myself and stayed quiet, silence could only be heard in this room. After a minute, he was the first to speak; he greeted me and asked me how I am feeling.

I still responded him with the same answer I gave to my parents and colleagues when they were visiting me. He just nodded and asked if he could sit at the chair beside my bed, I replied him "yes" and he placed carefully the bouquet of flowers at the side table and immediately sat on the chair. After he sat, I looked down at my lap and my hands clenched at the mattress of my hospital bed, I was really nervous, I don't know what to say to him. It was quite embarrassing and frustrating that your best friend came to see you from the other side of the world just to visit you because you're sick. Then, I asked him how his trip from the country to Paris was, he answered me with "It was quite fine but I don't like the food they gave to us." He slightly laughed at his statement while scratching his head and I also laughed, he's still the same boy that I left years ago... We conversed about what we missed in each other's lives and sometimes he made a joke and I laughed hard, this was my first laugh since I was hospitalized.

On the side note, I also knew when we were conversing he said he went to an engineering university...

He quickly stopped laughing when he heard my laugh, I stopped also. I was confused why he stopped laughing but he explained why. He said that it's been a while since he heard me laughing and he missed those times when we were still together at school, at the library, everywhere... When I heard him saying those words, I could feel in his voice that there was some sort of longing; longing for our missing friendship but I just ignored that statement and asked another question.

I asked him about his relationship with his girlfriend, or maybe his ex-girlfriend. He said that after their five years of relationship, he caught her cheating with another guy at the university they went together and when the girl saw him caught her cheating, she tried to explain but he didn't need an explanation and broke their relationship at the same spot. I didn't actually believe... I thought that girl wouldn't be a cheating type of girlfriend.

After he explained, I apologized for letting him remembered some of their bitter memories they made when they were still together. He told me that he didn't mind and he was practically happy for what happened. I became confused to what he said but before I asked him a question, he immediately hugged me, and he did it pretty tightly. I was about to question him again but he interrupted me by saying to just be quiet.

We were in that position for a few minutes until he broke the hug. He was going to sit before he held my hands in his and I blushed. His hands were warm; I almost felt that my hands were melting from his touch. I stared at our hands, holding each other. I didn't like how I was feeling because my feelings for this boy, no, this man, were surfacing again. I lifted my head to meet his face but he was staring at me and our eyes met.

I blushed harder, I was about to let go of his hands, however, he held it tightly, but gently. I asked him what was wrong and he said there was none. I just kept quiet and he hung his head low, so I couldn't see his face. When he finally lifted his face again, he looked serious. He was the first to speak up; he said that he liked to apologize to me. Apologize? To me! for what?

I asked what should he apologize for and he said to not realizing my feelings for him. I was shocked. Really, that wasn't I expected of him. He's always dense! That was why he didn't notice that I wore make-up when we were at high school. I was again going to speak but he stopped me from speaking for the nth time while putting his index finger on my lips. Ugh, this was getting frustrated! My face showed that I was getting really annoyed and he still had the serious face.

After another minute of silence, he began to say that after I left for Paris, he started to question our other friends why did I leave but they wouldn't answer him for they promised me that I would respond to his questions. So eventually, he gave up asking our friends and tried other methods like; trying to call my mobile phone, even though I removed the local sim card off my phone when we already at the airport, contacted and visited my close relatives; my close cousins to be exact since I introduced him to them when they were visiting at my previous home and I invited him there to study for our exam that was for the next week, although, all of them failed.

I listened to him how he tried to contact me and want me give him answers to my departure through different methods. Even if he was at the university, he was supposed to study harder rather than searching for me! I got angry and told him at how he let down his studies but he told me to don't worry because he graduated and passed the board exam with flying colours, he was telling me while laughing a little, though I still kept my disapproving face.

After a minute of silence, he suddenly blurted out the most awaited words I've wanted to hear; I love you. My eyes widened, jaw slacked to the floor and maybe also water formed in my eyes. I really didn't imagine those words coming from his mouth, well, maybe when in high school, yes, but this is different! We're both grown-up and we have lost touch with each other.

After he said those words, I sobbed really hard. He was confused and asked me what was wrong but I kept crying, crying, and crying, until I hit his chest multiple times with the remaining strength I have. I was really having mixed emotions; happiness, anger, shock, upset... and any synonyms that are equivalent to those words!

But most of all, I was feeling really upset! I've been waiting to hear those words and years later he appeared before me and blurted how he missed me and all, then after that he blurted that bloody nonsense! Agh, I'm pissed! Meanwhile, he was just standing there, not moving from stopping my puny fist to punch his chest. He let me punch him because I deserved it? That was what I like to think because he really confuses me!

Punches later, I calmed down because I was tired and his body was really hard of muscles, apparently he was also an athlete at his university, I may get bruises later if I kept going. I wipe my tears from my eyes with the handkerchief he gave me, though I finished crying my eyes out, I was still sniffling a little. A minute or so, he started speaking and I really can't forget the words he said to me; so heartfelt and regretful...

"I know that I may not deserve your forgiveness and trust but please hear me out... The past few years when you were gone, I was really confused with my feelings, but I shouldn't have, because I had a girlfriend and I should've been happy but when I heard from one of our friends at the graduation that you were leaving to another country at that time, I felt that my heart broke in pieces and without thinking, I went outside to see your car was driving away from the venue and ran with all my might."

He paused for a moment, and then continued...

"I started wondering why you looked back at me shockingly and then you smiled at me for no good reason! Then, you just looked back again at the front like you didn't see me at all! So, I stopped running and decided that I should go back to the venue. I then asked some of our friends as to why did you leave, they gave me answers, but those answers were useless. They only told me where you would go but I didn't care about that! I only want the reason why you left! Months after, when I was starting at the university, with my girlfriend—now ex-girlfriend, I remembered you said something at the library when we were studying for an exam, you told me and I quote: "When we'll be going to university, I want the both of us to go to the same school, so I can watch your actions!*laughs*".

I became sad and somewhat infuriated because, firstly, you were not there by my side, secondly, you broke your promise to me. I didn't want to be stressed about it so, I forgot about the issue and start the day without worries. Days after days, months after... I have kind of missed your presence immensely and started to remember the memories we made at the library, reading those science books that you may know that I absolutely hate, eating together when it was lunch break and also the time that you cheered for me when I had a race to compete...

Even though I had a girlfriend, we didn't meet each other much often, due to our tight schedules and differences between our break times and the hour to go out of school, though we still went together at the morning. My feelings were really confused between you and my past girlfriend, I didn't know if I still have feelings for her or not but when I was reminded again your smiling face, your beautiful eyes, that can reflect any emotions once you gaze unto them, your intelligence and above all else: your kindness and support for me.

At that moment, for certain, I have fallen in love with you. So, I've decided that when I'll meet her, I would break our relationship and apologize for the inconvenience. The next day, I was lucky. I saw her outside of school, specifically at the garden, she wasn't alone though. Sitting next to her was a man but they weren't supposed to be kissing, on the lips! I only stood where I was, frozen, shocked... When she saw, she quickly stood up and tried to approach me. She tried to explain the situation but I knew what I saw and it would be easier for me to break up with her. I may had snapped at her and told her that we were through and that would be the last time we saw each other. I thought at that time that was the good thing that needs to be done. After what happened, I felt a heavy weight was lifted from my shoulders and I felt much lighter, in a sense. And we broke up after five months after going to University.

Three years later, I graduated from Bachelor of Science of Civil Engineering. I never expected that I would pass all the tests, eventually, I did. The exams were really hard and sometimes I tried to give up but when I remembered those times when you tried to encourage me, I studied really hard because of your words of wisdom. After I graduate, I applied into an engineering firm and they quickly accepted me!

I began working and there was no other day that I didn't think about you. Years after I work at the company, I really want to find you and tell you my feelings for you and try to build a relationship from there on out. One day, I went to one of our friends and I heard her conversing with you at the phone. I really wanted to snatch the phone from her hands and talk to you but I heard her say how you've been coping at the hospital. I literally froze from my spot, I was shocked. You were hospitalized!?

The conversation ended and I waited for our friend to notice me. When she noticed me, she asked me if I heard everything and I paused for a while, indicating a yes. She broke the silence and told me all the things that had been happening to you. I was in disbelief and I could only listen to her like a psychiatrist waiting for their patients to stop talking about their problems. I left after the conversation was finished and I was determined to go to you and tell you my feelings. At that moment, I only want to think was "It's now or never..." I booked a flight to Paris with my money I earned from the firm, bought a flower for you and here we are!"

After he said his long speech, I can't help but let tears fell from my eyes as his words were making me cry from the hidden feelings I've kept from him, but what I feel mostly right now is, happiness. After all these years that I've been gone, he still cares for me, like I'm someone special to him, well, literally I am now. He has been searching for me; he realized his feelings for me and also realized my feelings for him, and finally, he loves me. I smiled while wiping my eyes from the tears that had fallen off my face, and he smiled back at me and held my hands and located it to his right cheek and began saying:

"Will you be my girlfriend?" He said seriously, his eyes looking right into mines, directing all his love he has for me.

Although, there's a problem; I'm sick. I'm literally in my deathbed right now. This illness I have is incurable, unless a miracle happens and I'll be free from it. While I was thinking about the problem I have, I didn't notice that I was frowning slightly. He seemed to notice because he suddenly frowned and squeezed my hand a little tightly. I looked up to see his face and saw a smile upon his lips.

"I know that we may not be together forever, but at least, we may have great memories and spent the remaining times while we can." He told me while remained smiling.

I smiled, knowing that I have someone by my side; loving me, caring me and supporting me for the rest of my remaining days. We may be separated at the near future but I hope, even after my death, he'll continue to live his life at the fullest and, hopefully, try to love someone. Though not now because he's with me *laugh*. Today marks the beginning of our love story and I want to enjoy it the fullest with the love of my life, forever...

"Find a heart that will love you at your worst and arms that will hold you at your weakest."

-Unknown

The end

A/n: So this is it. My first non-anime story and first wattys story that I published. I hope you had a very nice Christmas and a Happy New Year!!😁😁😁
Thanks to my sister, lollipopxXfaexX , for helping me editing my errors and also to my inspirations out there!