"I'm fine. I can go home." Marshall, me and Kim started in the direction towards his house.

"Goodnight, Kim. Thanks for helping me, but I'll deal with him."

"You sure."

"Yeah." I caught up to Marshall until we were walking side to side. He wouldn't even look at me. Why was he mad at me? "Wait." He ignored me and kept walking faster. "Why the fuck are mad at me?!" He stopped turned around to look at me in awe.

"What the fuck do you mean Neveah? If you'd just listened to me about staying the fuck away from Ben this wouldn't have happened!"

"Ok, for that I'm sorry, but we both had no idea he was going to try and kiss me. I pulled away as soon as he did kiss me and that was the end of it. Your the one who took it further and decided punch his fucking face off!" I shouted back at him.

"Just go home." My heart dropped down to my stomach and sharp jabs began poking at it. I clenched my chest tightly. I was crushed but also angry. I was too angry to give in and apologize so I did exactly as he said went home.

The lights weren't on so I quietly came through the front door. My parents were heavy sleepers anyways. I crept past my parent's room and into mine. I don't know why I was being so cautious they never cared where I was. I shut my door and the lights flicked on. I sighed annoyed and angry now. All wanted was sleep.
The door flung open and my mother stood in the door way.
"Neveah. Leaving your brother here alone! What if something happened and he called the cops or CPS! You could have been taken away and split up."

"You wouldn't have cared anyway. All you care about is not going to jail and not getting caught. You don't care now and you will never care!" I screamed back unleashing the anger that had been thrashing like a hornet inside me. It had just been building and building till it seemed as if my anger completely took me over.

"Don't you ever say that to me! That's not true! You just lie so you can get taken away!" I always wanted a set of parents that loved me unconditionally, and if I had that I wouldn't, in a million years, 'lie to get taken away'. This was just my mom's way of saying she is in the wrong, but she can never be wrong.

She can never be wrong, because all her wrongs were blamed on me. Which made her look like she was right, but deep down she knew truly never would be.

"Just leave me alone! We've done this so many times just leave me alone!" Was all I could think to end this unnecessary screaming match. She looked at me like I had asked her to jump off a cliff. She smiled slighted and scoffed.

"This is all your fault Neveah. So, blame yourself your lazy and party away your problems. You never pay attention to Zach, or clean up, cook, or put food in the fridge. So, fine through your slutty body around. Just don't think to come to me if you get pregnant or get an STD." She left my room and slammed the door behind.

Was she serious?

The only reason we weren't living in our own shit was, because of me. The only reason me and Zach ate was, because of me. I had met all of his friends, and I willing trusted them to go off to school on their own. She hasn't met any of his friends not one of them. I sat their trying to prove wrong what she said about me being lazy. Even though I knew the truth.

I taken a shaky breath, and the tears poured down my cheeks. I pulled my blanket over me and curled up in sad fetus position . I cried and cried and cried till eventually the world went black and my pounding headache disappeared.

Something heavy but invisible had made me feel like I couldn't sit up. I heaved myself to a sitting position on my bed and yawned loudly. My room was dark and cold. I peeked out of the window and saw the flecks of snow swirling down. I watched as they sticked to cars and other peoples windows. I smiled excitedly.

No thoughts of yesterday ran through my mind, and I wouldn't let them I didn't want them to ruin this moment. It was the first snow of the year. I let myself sit and enjoy it for awhile until I had too get up to pee.

I pulled down my under letting them drop to my ankles. Blood was all over them and it began fill the toilet as well. I sighed in relief. Besides, what everyone had been telling me, that I would get pregnant, I didn't feel need to worry. Or more or so there was too much going on to worry on that subject just yet.

Thank god I wasn't. And I sure as hell wouldn't be having anymore unprotective sex anytime soon. I could not just ruin my life like that right now. And I definitely couldn't fuck up Marshall anymore than I already had.

I looked at the clock in my room as I was changing it was already 10:00 am. That explains why the house was so silent. I changed in to something very warm and left the house.

I walked past Marshall's trailer and realized how much I missed his presence. He meant so much more to me than he thought he did. School wasn't an option anymore it was too late which is too bad, because I planned to fix things with Marshall there.

Oh well, I'd just have to wait until after school. I continued walking I just didn't know where yet. When I passed an alley. I stopped in front of it and thought. This was the alley way you go through to get to that park Marshall had showed me.

It made me realized how dangerously tethered my mind was to not just Marshall, but the places people, and things he associated himself with. The frosty wet grass sprinkled my sweats with water as approached.

When I finally got to the old metal playground I climbed onto its decking and bundled up. I hoped Marshall might come here and would wait here if there was a chance he would. And if he didn't I'd go home and know I tried for him. And tomorrow I would go to school apologize and try again for him.