四。リスタート「岡本信彦」

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Sorry, I'm still looking for the missing visual ><

JhaePanda as promised, here it is! ><

☆☆☆

One year later...

So, it's been a whole year since I haven't seen him. I've moved to Osaka ever since breaking up, but today I'll be going back to Tokyo. I missed living there. I'll be meeting up with Kakihara-san and Maeno-san today.

Even though I cut my connections with Nobu when we broke up, I still kept my connections with the friends I made at his work.

I was just walking around since it was still too early to go to the restaurant where we planned to meet, then I saw the face I'd wish I wouldn't see today. At least not today.

When I tried to look away, he looked at me then called my name.

"Hey, (F/N)!" He yelled with a grin.

Darn. Don't smile. Don't say a word. Don't do anything. Just walk away.

"Hey." I said with a wave.

What the heck was that?!? Ugh. Okay, let's keep it simple and short.

When he arrived in front of me, he immediately hugged me as if we were still together.

"I missed you.. I missed us.. please,.. give me a another chance.." he said.

My mind was blank at that moment, but I wanted to hug back and tell him how I feel. I just don't deserve him anymore. I broke it off. I can't possibly mend it back.

I pushed him away then yelled,
"I'm sorry! I still don't know my current feelings! Please give me time!"

I then immediately ran away with a blushing face.

☆☆☆

"Whoa, whoa, whoa— let me get this straight... YOU JUST BUMPED INTO HIM ON THE WAY HERE AND HE SAID HE WANTS YOU BACK?"

"Shhh! Kakihara-san, pipe down! Everyone is looking at you!" I said in embarrassment.

"But seriously, (F/N), did you really meet him on the way here?" Maeno-san asked.

"Yes! It was so crazy! It was so embarrassing! I wanted to run off, but a lot of people were looking! I was freaking out!" I exclaimed.

"Okay, (F/N), calm down." Kakihara-san said.

"Sorry, but after what you just did a few moments ago, you have no right to tell me that." I said.

"What a kouhai." Kakihara-san said with a pout.

"Anyways, (F/N), do you still like him?"

"Of course I still like him, Maeno-san, but I pushed him away! I'm at fault here! I can't just say 'hey, let's date again'! I'm not idiot enough to do that!"

"(F/N), I would like to present to you the Best Senpai Yelled Award, for your astonishing performance in yelling at your senpais." Kakihara-san said.

"Sorry. I snapped back there, but what I'm trying to say is that, I'm not brave enough to like just say that. I have no right to say that after what I did." I explained.

"Yeah, but.. what do you feel? Don't you want to be with him too?" Kakihara-san asked.

"He'll forgive you, I'm sure, so for once,.. think about what's best for you for a change. What do you want?" Maeno-san said.

I sighed then took a sip of my beer as we continued to chat about other things, besides my relationship with Nobu.

☆☆☆

As I was walking back to my old apartment, which I rented back a few days ago, I couldn't help but think about what Maeno-san said.

What do I want? I never really thought about that. All I thought about was what was best for Nobu. I didn't want everything he worked so hard on, to just disappear in thin air. It's his dream so I want to support him because.. I love him.

"(F/N)."

I suddenly stopped in my tracks when I heard his voice.

"(F/N), you don't have to look at me. You don't even have to say anything, just.. listen.. I've been.. living a nightmare without you, I've been losing sleep. But,.. I always prayed that you'd feel safe, and you'd feel happy, you'd be living your life well.. I didn't really think much about myself, but of course I took care of my needs and all.. so uhm,.. I'll just get to the point. I—"

I couldn't take it anymore. I just ran up to him and hugged him.

"I was stupid. I missed you, a whole lot. Forgive me if I'm being selfish, but I want to be happy. I want to always be with you. I don't know how I endured this lonely year. I didn't really want to break up with you. I thought about you before me and.. it didn't make either of us happy. It was a really stupid decision.." I said as I cried into his chest.

"I love you, Nobu. I didn't realize it before, but now I do. I want to kill myself for leaving you alone—"

"Shhh... it's okay. What's important is that we're together now. Let's just start over again and be serious about our relationship this time. Let's give time for each other this time.. I love you too." He said as he caressed my hair while I continued crying.

"Sorry.." I said as I continued to sob into his chest.

"It's okay. Don't worry, I'm here for you. I won't let you walk away again." He assured.

He then wiped my tears as I looked at him. We then slowly leaned in and closed the gap between us. How good it felt to start over again, how good it felt to be loved.

07|11|2017 ~ 10:24 pm

I'm sorry for not updating frequently since I'm busy with school, but I'm doing my best!

I'll be extra busy next week, but I'll see what I can do! ^^

I hope you all understand. Thanks!