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Symbol Of Magic
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Author :: hogwartsjunior

Reviewer :: SURREALGGUK

First Impression :: 11/20

» Cover :: 3/10
There’s just way too much going on. I can barely see the members, and until now I’m not even sure if they’re members of BTS. I appreciate the design, but the combination of things and loud colors just don’t contribute to the appeal of the cover and make it worse instead. I can barely see the subtitles with the font and the color as well, so that definitely needs some fixing. I suggest that you start off with making your face claims bigger so that your readers will be able to see who exactly are the cast of your work.

» Title :: 5/5
I loved the title, and I liked how it all links together when the story of Liefde is told. It’s like a ‘wow’ moment you get when you hear the title of a song in the lyrics of the song, and you’ve successfully induced that effect in me, and I’m sure you’ve done the same for many other readers as well. Good job!

» Blurb :: 3/5
Your blurb seems like the kind of description I would put at the back of hardcover books. However, hardcover books usually have two descriptions: one at the back, where it’s usually a vague description that readers are only able to understand once they read the book, and one at the sleeve of the cover, where the description is more specific. In this case, you only have one chance at attracting your readers with your blurb, and after reading it, I have no idea what the book is going to be about. Sure, there seem to be eight main characters, but what will they be doing throughout the story? What exactly is the center of your plot? I have so many questions, and your blurb answers almost none of them, so that’s something you’re going to have to improve on.

First Impression :: 11/20

Overall, you have a pretty good foundation. To improve on your score, the cover should be improved first. Our community has really good graphic designers who would most definitely lend a hand in making a good cover for your book, so feel free to give them a try! I believe this book has the potential to attract many readers, and the first impression factor will have to be improved in order to have that effect. Good luck!

Beginning of a new start :: 6/10

I’m not a big fan of setting/character introduction chapters. This is because it ruins the reading experience, as the point of reading in the first place is to be able to visualize places, characters, and/or scenes with the help of words, not images. By showing the readers images, you’re ruining the fun of finding out themselves, and if you fail to describe the place, character, and/or scene like your image describes, or if you don’t describe it at all because you have an image, then your writing style would clearly lack in this area. I can see that you described Liefde really well in Chapter 3, and this description is honestly enough for readers to visualize the place and its legacy, and it’ll achieve its desired effect if the whole introduction chapter was removed. I’m not saying it’s bad or anything, just that having introduction chapters affects the reading experience.

I noticed that this was a BTS fanfiction. Hence, the main characters are going to have to be mentioned very early on in the story in order to allow the readers to understand the flow and bond with the characters. Thus, I suggest that you introduce the main characters, as well as Callista, in the earlier chapters so as to set the tone and context for the future content.

Other than what I’ve mentioned, the flow of the story in the first few chapters is quite appropriate and not rushed, and I myself am more interested in the world you have built for this book as I continued reading on. Good job!

Concept & plot :: 23/25

I loved the concept, and the world you built to go with your plot. The story you had for Liefde really allowed me to think and feel like I was one of the people involved in the story told. The plot is unique and not that commonly seen in other fanfiction books as well, and I can tell how much effort you’ve put in to build this fictional world and the story behind it. Good job!

Characters & emotions :: 13/15

Callista’s development had me empathizing with her, and I felt some sort of attachment to Callista and her story as well. It felt like I was viewing a movie but reading the events instead, as I could clearly visualize and feel the characters’ emotions, and I could tell that you really put in a lot of work in order to have your readers immerse themselves into the story and their characters as well. Good job!

Tone & style :: 8/10

The paragraphing was appropriate, and the descriptions were suitable and timely as well. Good job!

However, I don’t see the need in putting your dialogue in bold. No matter the reason, I’m sure the readers would be able to tell where the dialogue is. You usually bold a word or a phrase to emphasize something, so putting even seemingly insignificant dialogues in bold really throws people off, and may be misleading to some readers as well.

Other than that, I believe that adding some complex words into your description would really help in spicing up the story. Currently, most of the descriptions are written in plain English, so to see some of those descriptions be filled with some complex words would greatly enhance the reading experience for everyone.

Overall, I think that your style is pretty good, and I could successfully grasp and go with the flow of the story, which is very important in order to keep your readers interested. Good job!

Grammar :: 16/20

While your grammar may be better than the average writer on Wattpad, I noticed that the mistakes you made are fairly common and can easily be found in any other book. Although it may be unnoticeable for some, it’s going to affect the reading experience nonetheless.

First of all, dialogue tags SHOULD NOT be capitalized, unless the tag starts with a name. This was the first mistake I found in your book and the most repetitive one. Don’t ask me why dialogue tags aren’t supposed to be capitalized, it’s one of the essential rules of writing dialogues.

I did find some grammar mistakes:

[...but he felt idiotic also.] is improper English. If you want to retain the structure of this part of the sentence, then the word [also] should be replaced with [too]. If you want to change the structure, it should be [...but he also felt idiotic.]

[Your smile would grow of its own accord.] is wrong because of the incorrect usage of the phrase [on its own accord]. Instead, it should be [Your smile would broaden on its own accord.]

[You took notice of his words, attentively, with your head down, whereas he was busy scolding you.]

Overall, your grammar is quite good for a writer on Wattpad. There wasn’t really much to correct or point out except for the ones I mentioned above, so good job for that!

TOTAL :: 77/100