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Soul Swap
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Author :: kpopcharmseu

Reviewer :: Kim_eats

First Impression :: 14/20

» Cover :: 7/10

The cover is very good. The font and the little detailing done on Jungkook's face looks cool. The picture used gives a really bratty, arrogant type of vibe which matches with your depiction of Jungkook. All in all, it is a good cover and it'll grab people's attention. 

» Title :: 3/5

It isn't exactly a unique title but it matches the story perfectly and it is small enough to remember. It serves the purpose and gives the perfect idea of what the plot is going to be about. For those who enjoy this particular trope, it will definitely attract readers. 

» Blurb :: 4/5

The blurb is pretty interesting. The dialogues you included will definitely make readers press the read button. It is a little short but the dialogues make up for it and especially the 'science lover' word makes it more interesting.

Beginning of a new start :: 5/10

The prologue is really cool. Most people tell the backstory of a person bit by bit throughout the book but you included it in the prologue. I liked that, I haven't seen many books doing it. So, it's a good start. 

Then comes the first chapter. You started with Y/N singing a song and it's really a very unique start. I liked that you included BTS's songs but to be honest, it got a little boring after I found the 3rd chapter completely filled with lyrics. Yes, they were related to your story but it felt boring and people might skip through the lyrics. You could just simply write it as, 'singing a song that talked about destined lovers' or something like that. Rather than using the romanised version of the lyrics, you could go for explaining it as, 'humming to a song/song name.' Including lyrics give it a very YouTube FF feel and this is a book. I hope you take these tips into consideration.

Other than that, I'd also suggest you to refrain from using pictures in between an ongoing scene. Use your words instead to explain the layout of the scene and physical features of the person. It gives a more professional touch and the link doesn't break while reading. If you put up a picture of the bedroom, the readers won't remember the exact layout of the room while reading a scene in the same setting. The image created with words creates a different effect. It makes the readers feel more connected to the story. 

The first few chapters however give a really good insight on what type of characters you are trying to portray and the way you have written the chapters are really fun to read. 

Concept and plot :: 18/25

I see that you've mashed two tropes, soulmates and soul swap together. It isn't really unique but I like the addition you did to it, making your book a little less cliche. I can't say much in terms of concept since the book isn't complete and I can't really tell what you are going to convey through it. However, it's a good plot and you just have to focus more on your execution because even with a cliche plot, the correct execution and a unique approach can set the book apart from the rest.

Characters and emotions :: 7/15

I didn't find the characters that engaging or unique. It's the same old Y/N trying to be independent (which is not wrong), looking innocent but still bratty. You also said she is a science lover in the blurb but so far, I didn't see her actually talking about science anywhere or just plain trying to analyse the situation scientifically anywhere. I hope you include that point in the upcoming chapters. 

Your depiction of Jungkook too, is nothing new. I've seen a lot of books portraying him as a spoilt, arrogant brat. But I'm not saying it's bad, I'm just saying that it's not something I've never seen. There is no real variation in their characters, but maybe my view will change as the story progresses. 

Also, I felt that Y/N's mother is a little too childish. I know it's just a fanfiction and anything can happen but at the start you mentioned how her parents lost their money and they went through some rough times. I don't think any person who has gone through such a situation would force their daughter to bunk classes and go on a date instead of studying rigorously. Bad times teach a person to be more hardworking. Even if it's a fanfiction adding a little dash of reality won't do you harm. Instead, it would only make your story more relatable. This is what you call character development, a person learning something and becoming a better version of themselves. And mothers essentially are supposed to be the guiding figures in anyone's life and Y/N's mother is quite eccentric considering what she has gone through. It messes up with the big picture. I hope you consider these points and think about it more. 

In terms of emotions, you are doing pretty good. I could feel Y/N's different emotions throughout the story, so good job!

Tone and style :: 8/10

The writing style you are using is good. While writing a Y/N story, 2nd person pov is always preferred. The whole writing leans toward humour more than suspense and I really liked the execution. The writing is enjoyable but I'd also like to see a little soberness in the writing. A little maturity with humour is a really great combination. 

Grammar :: 12/20

The grammar for the major part was good. The most common mistakes you made are not adding commas, using too many ellipses (...) and dialogue tag. 

I also found you using capital letters in a word that's written in small letters otherwise. Remember, use capital letters if the person is screaming out of excitement or anger. And when you use capital letters, use it for the whole word. Also, if you want to avoid using words like fuck and horny, just find an alternative instead of writing it as 'h0rny'. You were also using a Korean word, 'Byuntae' to say pervert. Most readers don't prefer Korean words like these while reading a book which is clearly written in English. Using 'hyung' and 'eonni' for indicating that the person is older than them is quite different from using words people generally don't know. I hope you take care of this and make the required changes. 

Next up are the dialogue tags. A dialogue tag is a small phrase either before, after, or in between the actual dialogue itself. 

For example:

"Hello, I'm Y/N," she said. 

Here, 'she said' is the dialogue tag. You can also see that I used a comma after 'Y/N' even though it's a complete sentence. It's another rule you must follow while writing dialogues. When the phrase, 'She said' comes before the dialogue, you should add a comma after 'said'. 

I hope these tips help you and you take this review positively and helps in improving your skills. 

Total :: 64/100