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Love Maze
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Author :: jungkook_musclebunny

Reviewer :: Kim_eats

First Impression :: 6/20

» Cover :: 2/10
I'm sorry for this but the cover isn't eye catching at all. It looks as if you just placed a title over some random picture. The picture too isn't doing much in attracting my attention. Maybe use a picture that shows Taehyung's face better. Use a different, bigger font with a catchy colour. It'd definitely help.

» Title :: 2/5
The title is good but its over used. It does have relevance with the story because as the title says, love is nothing but a maze. However, I'd suggest steering clear of titles that are song titles because it naturally becomes over used. Try experimenting with words, use a dictionary to find a better word with similar meaning and you'll have no problem attracting readers.

» Blurb :: 2/5
Again, I'd say the same for the blurb too. It's the most common kind of blurb you'll find for majority of books. It also doesn't help that it is giving away a huge part of your plot away even with it being short. Try making it more interesting because it's quite monotonous and doesn't spark any interest. Instead of putting up a paragraph like that, include some catchy, fun dialogue from the book itself or use a unique quote.

Beginning of a new start :: 4/10

For the first chapter, I was extremely confused. The starting was good. It was great that you included dialogues instead of those cliche starts where the character wakes up or goes into an inner monologue. But it was really confusing because you were rushing everything a little too much. First, the narration was about how Y/N got a great deal on an apartment and was excited to live in it with her brother, but then in the next sentence of the same paragraph, she talks about breaking up. And it makes no sense. Then comes the point where she ends up at Jin and Namjoon's flat. With all the talk going on about her own apartment and her excitement being expressed, she goes into someone else's house while I was thinking she was going to her own house. So the first chapter really had me extremely confused and if that happens with others, they'll stop reading the book which you want to avoid. For this I'd suggest you to go slow, explain each scene properly, introduce each character properly without rushing because until the 5th chapter I couldn't really figure out what Y/N's relationship was with BTS. Like the way you described Jin and Namjoon's flat, it'd be wise to describe each and every scene slowly and properly. I really hope you take this into consideration because all the rushing isn't leaving a great first impression.

Concept & plot :: 10/25

The plot isn't the most unique. There are a lot of books out there that go with the same theme of an estranged friend who comes back and the leads start seeing each other in a different light and they change each other's perception about love. I'm not saying it's a bad plot but you just have to give it some of your own personal touches and try making it different. But in the department of uniqueness, I can't really give it that many marks.

Characters & emotions :: 7/15

Till where I read, I saw that you made a really good effort of involving each and every character mentioned in the book. And that's really great because sometimes, writers can get carried away and forget to involve some of the other characters. In terms of emotions, I wish they were more detailed so as to reach to your audience well enough. If you nail that, it'd be a really great read. Just be a bit more descriptive so I can understand what image do you have of your characters in your mind. I really couldn't connect to any character and feel what they were feeling exactly.

Tone & style :: 4/10

You used the 1st person pov and I have to say you were quite successful in making it not look like Y/N giving herself instructions to do her chores. But your tone needs a bit more work. There wasn't anything special or intriguing in what I read. It was just normal description and it didn't spark any interest in me to keep reading, not even to know what happens next in the story. So, you'll have to work on bringing that fun element to your writing so that the readers stay hooked.
I'd also suggest you to work on dialogues a little more because at certain places it really felt awkward to read. And the scenes with Yoongi, they were especially boring. I just couldn't get into the dialogue because when I think about Yoongi, I think about him talking non stop about a subject he feels strongly about. Maybe if you pay attention to the dialogue section more, then it might be more fun to read.

Grammar :: 16/20

The grammar was pretty great and the punctuation marks were also proper and the few mistakes I found can be easily corrected if you just go over everything you've written once again. You should, however, include different words, try expanding your vocabulary because it was too plain and not much variance overall. I'd also like to point out the length of your paragraphs. Some paragraphs are so long that readers might get lost if they miss a word. I suggest you keep the paragraphs a little shorter, separate them a little and you are good to go.

An extra note :: I hope you take everything I've mentioned above positively and work on making yourself even better.

Total :: 47/100