Intrafraction


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Intrafraction
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Author :: creajoniee

Reviewer :: kimvante_

First impression :: 18/20

The cover was perfect. From the color scheme, fonts, placement, effects and images; everything was accurate. I love how you chose one Jungkook in white outfit and one in black, just like how they're portrayed in the story, like yin and yang. The font used for the title as well as the color matches well with the background. I also liked how you added a lightning effect between the two to give off that parallel universe vibe.

For the title, I'll be honest, as much as it looked complex & cool, the meaning was very hard to understand. Trust me when I say I looked up the meaning on google and still didn't understand what it meant. The title was unique, I won't deny that but I suggest you put up the meaning of the title in the introduction chapter or maybe in the blurb itself. If what I concluded from the meaning after searching a lot on google, then I think that the title matches the storyline. 

The blurb was nice. It stated all the necessary facts regarding what the story contains. However, I think the last paragraph was unnecessary. Let's be honest here, sure the "secret" and "does his counterpart really turn out to be a helping hand" part can intrigue the readers and add onto the mystery. But I think that if the counterpart betrays Jungkook, that would be a slap on the face of readers. But for that, you gotta remove the last paragraph. Because the plot twist it would bring would be something that would differentiate your story with the others. Readers won't be smacked in the face by the sudden twist because they've already read in the blurb that the counterpart may be not a helping hand. Inshort, they would be prepared for the worst case scenario which will somehow spoil the entire mystery part.

Beginning of a new start :: 10/10

The onset chapters were highly indulging. I was so into the story from the first chapter itself. The urge to know more about Jungkook's life kept me at the edge of my seat, wanting to gather more information on his life. I must say, each chapter and scene was very well crafted because every paragraph, I discovered something new about him and his life. Whether it be about his daily habits or his sister, it kept me interested. 

Concept & Plot :: 23/25

The concept of the story was not rare. I've read many books, fanfictions even containing mental health issues. It was not the first time I came across such subjects while reading a fanfic. But your way of describing each aspect was what made the concept more unique. Your way of describing the illness, mentioning how and when it happens, the effects of it on the person, the effects of it on the people around that person, everything was very well displayed. 

Again, the plot was not rare. There are similar books I've stumbled upon who's epicenter is the parallel universe. But again, your way of describing it is what made the book stand out from the rest. I loved how you didn't immediately swap those two into each other's universe and instead took your time in building the plot. The way you first focused on Jungkook, his life, illness, sister, school, family, friends, rehab, etc was indeed marvellous. And then four chapters in was when you made him meet his counterpart. The thing I loved the most about your plot is how you're gonna make those two trust each other, rely on each other and help each other to get their miserable life on track. 

Characters & Emotions :: 15/15

Whenever I read a story, I focus more on the character build-up and their sentiments. Your way of portraying the characters' feelings was very neat. You perfectly portrayed Jungkook's emotions towards almost everything surrounding his life. I really loved how you provided an in-depth analysis of his emotions towards each living thing, non-living as well. His feelings towards his illness, his parents, sister, friends, school, classmates, doctor and even his counterpart, everything was so well described. It didn't bore me at all. I was legit so intrigued while reading him share his sentiments towards everything in his life. I'm a writer too, so I know how tough it is to portray one's feelings towards someone or something. This actually gave me inspiration.

The characters were plain, not in a bad way I mean. I love how you gave each character a flaw. Not everyone is perfect, the characters in this story are an embodiment of that. Take Jungkook, he's the protagonist of this story and has the most number of flaws. Even his counterpart has flaws. I loved how you displayed each character's personality and nature. Jungkook, his counterpart, Jimin, Namjoon, Sehwi, etc everyone had different personalities and each one of them contained flaws. There was not even a single ounce of cliché sightings spotted. At some point, I was even able to relate to them.

Tone & Style :: 10/10

As I mentioned above, your way of describing the story was very marvellous. Each chapter was well planned and carefully written. Your writing style was also on-point. I loved that despite being complex, I was able to understand the story without any interruptions. Your descriptive writing and complexity of the language gave life to the story. The paragraphs weren't too short nor too long, just the perfect amount of lines. The transition from one scene to another was sleek. Even the blending of the flashbacks into the chapters was astounding.

The toning of the story was satisfying. The events that took place weren't exaggerated or dragged; they were beautifully shown. It seemed like you took all the time in the world to jot down the story, which is a good thing because no outcome is better when rushed. I love how each chapter was well planned, what scene to add when and  and what flashbacks to use where to enhance the story further, every little detail was carefully thought and written.

Grammar :: 19/20

Not many mistakes were detected in this area. Your grammar and vocabulary was crystal clear and each paragraph, sentence, dialogue was carefully moulded and noted down. There were no unnecessary paragraphs/dialogues written to bore a reader and there was absolutely no rush. As I mentioned above, I loved your descriptive writing style the most. Even the usage of complex words added more depth to the story. Absence of commas, colons and semicolons was detected as well as a few words were omitted in between some lines. 

Extra note: I loved the story a lot. It was magnificent. This book is definitely being saved in my library to read further. I literally cannot wait for the next updates and to unravel more about the two Jungkooks and what unexpected twists and turns their lives take!

I hope my judgement was fair enough. :)

TOTAL =  95/100.

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