╭⋟───────────────╮
Bloody Promises
╰───────────────⋞╯

Author :: flwryshj

Reviewer :: Kim_eats

First impression :: 10/20

» Cover :: 1.5/10

The cover is supposed to be the first impression of any book and it needs to be attractive. In the case of this cover, it is not going to attract as many readers as your book deserves. Your book is originally inspired from Omniscient Reader and the picture you used for the cover looks like the protagonist of the webtoon. Even if it's inspired from it, I would suggest not to use that picture because the character is not in the story so far and it could be misleading for readers. Use the pictures of the idols for that and try editing them all in the cover or order through a cover shop if possible. 

The face claim is not the only problem. The background used is messy and not suitable for the vibe you are going for, it doesn't match the theme at all and adds unnecessary complexity. The font used for the title is okay but the size needs to be bigger and the colour needs to be different according to the background as well. Same with the quote used, the size is too small to be able to read and the colour seems to blend in with the background. 

In conclusion, you need to make major changes to the cover for it to attract readers because it's the very first thing anyone notices and as of now, it's messy and very unattractive.   

» Title :: ⅘

I like the title used. Though it is not unique, the title has relevance to the story and it perfectly fits. Especially after the first few chapters where the main leads reminisce about making promises and the way they don't get to follow through those promises because of their bloody reality. 

» Blurb :: ⅘

The blurb is perfect, short but meaningful. You did a great job by including all the main points of the story without revealing the main conflict which seems to be a sick game being played with the main leads. The only thing I would tell you to change in it is to add spacing between paragraphs. It's currently one big paragraph and it looks rushed because of the lack of proper pauses the human brain unconsciously takes after a comma or full stop or a paragraph break. The break adds more dimension to the reading experience. Hope you consider that.  

Beginning of a new start :: 9/10

Following the first impression the blurb made for me, I was definitely expecting a strong start since it's an apocalyptic situation and I must say, I wasn't disappointed. Right from the beginning the heaviness of the situation was apparent. The way the scenes were written, especially the first chapter where Changmin held Chanhee in his last moments and how he looked back at their conversations and the memories they made, it made a very strong impact. 

These kinds of startings always hook the readers immediately and you have the pressure to deliver all the upcoming chapters with the same vibe and so far, you are successful. I also like how the whole apocalypse and the monster attack was shown from four different perspectives instead of only one as I’ve seen most writers do. But, in this particular book, since there are four main leads, it is understandable and well appreciated because a lot of times a certain character gets more spotlight than the other and that kind of sucks if you have multiple main characters. 

Overall, I would say the beginning three chapters including the playlist one, make a great impression. The language is direct yet impactful and it is extremely intriguing to see how and why the particular four characters were left alive.  

Concept and plot :: 22/25

I love such concepts to be honest. Anything to do with apocalypse, robot invasions, creepy No-Face sadists is just amazing to see in written form. And the mystery and thriller spice just makes it a perfect combo of everything good. Since you did mention that you were inspired by the webtoon (I’m hoping it's the webtoon because that's what came up when I searched the title) I read it to get an idea of how and what exactly inspired you. Also, to make sure it wasn't a case of plagiarism which it isn't. It was just a precaution, nothing else. But I understand how it inspired the plot and some of its elements like the game element to which you obviously gave your own twist which is great. It's kind of the same but also completely different and I loved that you stuck to your own creativity.  

Though there are not enough chapters to get the gist of the plot, I kind of understood that this No-Face lady is kind of playing a game with the characters for her own entertainment which is quite unique in its own way and fascinating to read. So, plotwise, it's a great one and I do look forward to how you execute it further.

Characters and emotions :: 12/15

Starting with characters, I don't know much about how they are in real life, but the way I perceived them was almost like reading a normal book for me instead of a fanfiction. So, everything I know about them is just from reading the book. I had nothing to compare to from real life while reading. Now, why I’m mentioning this particular detail is because oftentimes, writers don't express their characters well. While writing fanfiction, it's assumed that the reader knows the characters well enough already and the writers don't put in extra efforts to show what kind of personalities they represent. The characters end up looking shallow to the reader unless they are given a completely different set of personalities.

In this case, I must say the way you built your characters was amazing. I still have no idea how much resemblance they have with real life people but as a reader, I loved reading and understanding what kind of people they are in the story. Each character has their own quirks and depth to them which is an accomplishment as a writer. Everyone seems to fit in personality wise despite having no prior relation with each other except maybe common acquaintances. So, in terms of characters, you nailed it.

Coming to emotions, they were very well described. From Changmin’s unveiled grief to Haechan’s rough and almost arrogant attitude while dealing with his loss and Hyeongjun’s confusion over not being able to feel anything to Yewon’s worry and fear masked by her cheerful attitude, everything came across really well. It was heart wrenching to read the first few chapters where their friends were dying in front of their eyes and as reader I was able to empathise with the characters. So, in terms of emotions too, you did a good job but I feel like it can get better. Don't limit yourself and be satisfied just yet.

Tone and style :: 7/10

The tone of your writing is direct and it becomes even more direct when you start the sentence or paragraph with a single word like, ‘death’, ‘blood’. Those types of words. While it's not wrong, I do suggest you do it scarcely. It might end up being repetitive and will not excite the readers that much. Do it only when it's a really heavy scene where suppose one is gravely injured and might not survive. In such scenarios that type of writing is the most impactful. But overall, the story is well paced and your writing style is good too. It's engaging and keeps the reader on the edge of their seat. 

I do feel like you can do better with descriptions. What I read was good but seeing the way you write, especially how well the scene where Yewon is dreaming comes out, I know you can do better with descriptions. It's okay if the chapter is a bit lengthy but don't hold back because in this particular genre, writing style and descriptions matter a lot. You need to write in a way so that the readers can visualize the world you have created in your head. If you do that, it’ll be perfect. 

Grammar :: 18/20

Grammar for the major part was good except for a few typos and misplaced commas. Another big mistake was with the dialogues. I think you know what dialogue tags are and how punctuation works for the majority part but I saw this mistake almost everywhere. 

When the paragraph ends with a dialogue followed by no dialogue tag, you end the sentence with a comma instead of a full stop. Use commas only when the dialogue is followed by a dialogue tag. For example:

He replied, “I will be back soon.”

Hope you make the necessary changes and do proofread before updating to avoid typos.

Extra note :: I hope this review proves helpful and you take it positively. You've got a really good storyline and so far, you've executed it really well. I'm looking forward to future updates.

Total :: 77.5/100