Beach
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Beach
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Author :: rainmoonchild
Reviewer :: Chaotic_Lals
First Impression :: 9/20
» Cover :: 4/10
The idea of portraying the cover in the landscape format rather than portrait didn’t really come off well. The title isn’t visible and the author’s name should’ve been displayed in a better manner. Also, I feel that the title doesn’t go with the theme of the cover. It seemed too simple and bland for the title ‘Beach’. I also saw no relevance between the cover the book itself.
» Title :: 4.5/05
I see the relevance it has with the theme of the book. Maybe, you could’ve chosen a better title?
» Blurb :: 0.5/05
To be frank, the synopsis made little to no sense to me. That’s the first thing. Second off, it doesn’t give me any sort of insight on the book— be it the characters or the plot. I got none of it. Overall, the synopsis lacked basic elements; not entrancing, neither was it intriguing. Doesn’t really speak much about the book either. I suggest you add a description of the book too, as in a theme. Not a summary.
As of now, it’s just mundane.
Beginning of a new start :: 7/10
It was . . . not bad, I guess? The thing is, there was nothing in the first couple of chapters that I’d consider ‘entrancing’, you know? Now when I say ‘entrancing; I don’t mean scenes, it could be anything ranging from the way you put words together, to your characters, etc. It wasn’t a wow factor for me but it wasn’t bad either.
Concept and plot :: 20/25
The plot was nothing really to ‘wow’ at, but at the same time, it wasn’t all cliché. It was in between. But, I’ve got to say that the way you conveyed side-concepts like the hardships a trainee faces was beautiful.
There were only so many chapters in the book so I couldn’t catch much of the plot, so this is all I have to say on the plot.
Characters and emotions :: 8/15
To be honest, at some points, I felt like everything was focused on Heesung too much— almost like he’s the center of it all, you know? I mean, okay he’s the main lead, so obviously the book should revolve around him and the other lead. But sometimes, it was just all about Heesung. It kind of made some scenes look pointless. For instance, towards the end of the second chapter, they talk about Heesung— after about one-fourth of that talk, it got unnecessary. Yeah I get it, Yeona might have found him interesting, but all those points could’ve been conveyed in a different way.
I also felt that Yeona didn’t really have a fixed personality. It’s like, sometimes she’s this moody and hormonal teenager while other times, she’s this mature lad. Her character didn’t really join the dots.
The emotions could’ve been conveyed in a much better way too. I’ve explained this under ‘Tone & Style’.
Tone and style :: 6/10
You have to focus a tad bit more on your descriptive writing. As of now, the book is basically three-fourth dialogues. The issue with this is that without descriptive writing, basic elements and necessities like creating an emotional bond between the reader and the book will be hard to establish. Yes, you do describe, but you do not describe enough.
Also, you can try improvising your vocabulary too. It’s too simple in the book. Don’t make it too complicated, of course, but try balancing it between the simplicity and complexity.
You should use italics to convey thoughts, too. You didn’t do it everywhere.
Grammar :: 16/20
There weren't a lot of errors. You got the tenses right. However, you have to pay attention to the punctuations mainly. First off, the usage of commas. At some points, you leave out on them. But again, you got it right in most of the places.
Moving onto the main part, you need to understand the difference between the usage of a hyphen (-) and an em-dash (—). A hyphen is used to connect two words while an em-dash is used to set off extra information within a sentence, to signal an abrupt shift, and to emphasize a thought or sentence (like cutting off dialogues). For instance, in the sentence, ‘The sun was already rising – she was usually there before sunrise – so she figured it was nice chance to sit in the sand and soak up the sunshine,’ you use an em-dash instead of a hyphen; that too, without leaving space after the preceding word.
Also, action tags and verbal tags. When you write sentences like ‘Sunghoon shrugged. “I don’t know. I just feel that I can trust you.”’, you are to use a comma after the supposed ‘tag’, which in this case is the term ‘shrugged’.
There were errrors in the capitalization of letters, too.
Other than that, I did not really find any errors in the grammar or punctuations.
Total :: 66/100
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