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An old Enchantment
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Author :: Coraline005

Reviewer :: athenaxglamour_

First impression :: 15/20

Wow! A nice way to start my review for the first impression of the book. I absolutely fell in love with the cover and the title — they both had me in a state of fangirling. But I wasn't satisfied with the blurb. Let's talk about everything more in detail. Sit back and enjoy. 

» Cover :: 8/10

I loved it. Honestly, I have no words to describe the attractiveness of the cover. The cover perfectly suits the genre and the plot of the book. But I did find an issue with the size of the font. The size of the title's font was pretty okay, but the author name wasn't quite visible. So, I recommend increasing the size of the author name under the title.  Now, I will go more in depth. 

1) explicit or direct view (the basics):
The cover had all the basics of any traditional cover. Most of all, the background image had me in love. But you can add some quote or a pick up line from your book, in order to make it less barren. There is only title and author name on the cover, which is enough but your book's genre demands complexity on the cover. 

2) implicit or indirect view (how this cover relates to the book?):
Definitely, it relates to your book. When I have finished reading the main conflict of the plot, I find it completely relevant. No change required here. 

↱︎Reviewer's tip :: Like I said, your book's genre is complex, so you must add more complexity by adding a quote or pick up line. But it's entirely up to you. It was merely a suggestion. 

» Title :: 5/5 

Stupendous! I mean I don't have any perfect adjective to describe this area. I believe you came up with the idea of this title after a lot of contemplation because this is exactly what I needed as a reader. Uniqueness isn't necessary but the title not just relates to your book, indirectly, but I have barely seen anyone using such a poetic title for their book. When I pronounce it verbally— it bewitches me and I glance at the cover, which ultimately leads me to the storyline. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: I know you added a fancy text on the title page for aesthetic purposes but it might not be visible for Android users. So I suggest that you should use a simple font for the title. 

» Blurb: 2/5 

The blurb is unclear at the first glance. I had to read it multiple times to understand its meaning. It was full of information that was confusing me. I will point it out below: 
 
1- Non-technical issues
As I said, there was a lot of confusing information that I didn't quite understand. 

➡ [ Humans who had been programmed for their behaviours and emotions since the ancient times, end up with a bug while being reset after the discovery of this fact.] Humans have been programmed since ancient times. I understood it. But I don't understand the fact that has been discovered? 

➡ [A missing supernatural being of the world's ruling cult, a struggling student a gifted future predictor and one serial killer.] This sentence seems incomplete too. I guess you introduced the main characters here, but you left them on a read. It's like you should tell me why and how they contribute to such a big clash? 

2- Technical issues

➡ When stating the qualities of a person or something in a series, always use a comma. In the below paragraph, there should be a comma before 'a gifted future predictor'. [A missing supernatural being of the world's ruling cult, a struggling student, a gifted future predictor and…]

➡ [When the past, present and the future clash.] It should be 'clash' instead of 'clashes' because they are 'past, present, and the future' which clash. They are plural not singular. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: I suggest you to rewrite this blurb once again. Use less confused wording. Keep it simple yet understandable. 

Beginning of a new start :: 8/10

I would say that you hooked me up with the prologue, although there were issues with writing style but I would point it out later. Right now, let me talk about the first two chapters including the prologue. 

➡ I absolutely loved the presentation of your book. Rather than making it too simple, you made it look presentable for the reader's eyes. I am sure that the character introduction was enough to hook me up. The aesthetic appeal of your book was simple yet pleasurable. The banners and dividers are making your book a mess free. You definitely deserve appreciation for that. 

➡ Instead of giving me a whole insight of the story, the prologue leaves me questioning many directions of the story. You kept me in the 'keep on guessing' game as the prologue ended. The characters were very realistic through their dialogues and the car crash in the beginning made me think about the plot even more. 

➡ You introduced the main character in the first chapter instead of dumping useless information. This made me realize that she might be not a 'damsel in distress' rather a girl with her own flaws and imperfections. Overall, a nice impression. 

↱❛ Reviewer's tip :: The beginning of this book demands no changing. So no tip here.  But I marked the area 7/10 due to the issues in the writing style. Look forward to it in the writing style section. 

Concept and plot :: 21/25

I must accept that it was the first time reading a book other than cliché and boring plotline during the month. I didn't regret it though; I went into the storyline pretty much until the 10th chapter. 

➡ First of all, the idea of the plot was original. The genre that you are writing in is very free in thoughts. You can push and pull the plot accordingly. That's exactly what you are doing. You gave yourself a free hand and weren't afraid to write about the world's issues like covid, lust of men, destruction, fear, and transformation that the world had to go through. The themes of your book are very interesting and you are executing them wonderfully through a story. 

➡ When it comes to the development of the plot, I didn't find any issue with it. The plot is neither too fast paced nor too slow paced. The pacing is normal which earned you appreciation from me. It's hard to maintain the pacing of the book as a writer, so kudos to you. But the story is still going on, I hope so you will maintain this flow for the rest of the plot too. 

➡ Realism is one of the qualities of a plotline. Whether your story is set in 2121 or 2020, you must make it acceptable and reasonable. Every character in your book, and every concept of your book, is highly realistic. I won't say why you chose this scene, because it seems too unrealistic. Good job here too.  

➡ I also loved that you introduced many plot twists at the right time. Especially the one where Ryan has been revealed as a psychopath. I never expected it but since you foreshadowed it already, it wasn't hard to accept it. 

That's all I have to say in this area. Since the story is still progressing, I won't say or predict anything about the ending. 

Characters and emotions :: 11/15

Okay so, when it comes to the characters, I am glad you didn't sketch them like robots or puppets. They have their flaws and qualities that make them unique in their way. But I need to point out a few minor details that need your special attention — I won't call them flaws, because any writer could face it. 

➡ I feel that the character of Byeol lacks emotional depth. I understand that she had parents who made it clear that she should live an independent life, but I know nothing about how she feels about it. I understand that you try to portray her as an independent and lively character, but it doesn't mean we should ignore her emotional side. Apart from that, thanks for not making her 'damsel in distress' ready for her hero to save her. 

➡ As far as the character of Beomgyu is concerned, well congratulations, darling. I am going to present you with a boutique of roses which aren't red. That's exactly how his character is portrayed. Even though he is a man, he is the most unbothered yet caring human being from the era of covid 19. I am glad that you didn't make him cold, arrogant, and that type of cliché shot. Even though I felt his development as a character was pretty passive. But still he is that candy in my wallet that looks old but it has the sweetest taste. I loved his personality. 

➡ Then comes Mr.Ryan, the serial killer. At first I was shocked because he was Leonardo DiCaprio but he suited that role well. So far, I won't comment on him because he is still a hidden agent in the character's area.  

Tone and style :: 4/10

So this may be the only area where you need work. I am sure if you work on the below mentioned points, your writing style will be improved. 

➡ The paragraphs have unnecessary spaces before and after the quotation marks. This makes your writing look informal. Notice an excerpt from the book. There shouldn't be a space after the quotation mark (") in the start and by the end. This is an issue with almost every paragraph. 

[" I don't have anger issues as you claim. The problem is you and your out dated ways of living. No man denies providing the basic things for his family. " bluntly stated the mother.] 

➡ You tend to use scripted style in writing more than a prose form — which is basically used in dramas, film scripts, etc. So I would recommend you to use either 'dialogue tags' or 'attributions' because that's the real rule of prose fiction. Notice an example from your book. That's how you will understand what I mean by scripted style. This kind of style makes your writing confusing. We don't understand who is speaking and when. 

["I will take Bora. Don't even try to fight for her when you haven't done anything for her."

Stop the car and let me out. I will not be associated with the life of yours and your cherished child anymore. Sign the divorce papers when I send them."

"Ji Hee think this over again. We can still make this marriage work if you co operate. Why are you doing this?" desperately begged the father.]

➡ Another thing I noticed is that you are using 'she stated' and 'said the man' quite a lot. This is a sign that you are telling your readers what your characters are doing instead of showing or describing them. This is something that every writer suffers with. Even I do too. I will take an excerpt from your book and change it from telling to showing. Please bear with me.  

[" I don't have anger issues as you claim. The problem is you and your out dated ways of living. No man denies providing the basic things for his family. " bluntly stated the mother. ]

Edited by me

[''I don't have anger issues as you claim. The problem is you and your outdated ways of living. No man denies providing the basic things for his family," bluntly stated the mother because she was tired of this man right beside her. Although, they vowed to always stay by each other's side. But fate has a funny way to prove us wrong, and they were a victim of that inevitable fate too.]

You see that I added a few more details on the conflict that was going on in the mother's head. Like that, you got to see more reasons for that blunt statement earlier. She didn't just say that bluntly out of nothing but there was a whole damn reason for it. 

➡ Last but not least, please add spaces before starting a line. Don't write "I love her.She loves me too." Add a space before 'she' otherwise it is a formatting error. 

Grammar :: 16/20

To be honest, the grammar is better than many books I have read so far. But I do find some issues with the following area: 

Sometimes sentences aren't written well. They sound clingy and hard to read. 

Punctuations are missing before introductory phrases and words. 

Hyphen is used to join two compound words. But you didn't use it. For example, 'co operate'. 

Overall, mainly you need work on your writing style. As far as other areas are concerned, I don't find any issue more than the above mentioned ones. But still don't stop learning and keep writing. I hope my review helps you. If you have any further questions then you can pm me or ask in the comments section. 

Total :: 75/100