"How are you?"

To me, that's a question waiting for a lie.

I hide behind the words, "I'm fine."

Not because I don't want to release how I feel, but because I don't think anyone wants to really hear the truth. No one wants to listen to how my days feel empty, or of my struggle to see a future. No one wants to hear of how I am overwhelmed trying to juggle the roles I never asked for. The dutiful daughter, the competent employee, the loving girlfriend, the great student...

When in truth, I'm drowning. I'm sinking right in front of them, and yet they seem so blind.

Life is about existing...

My head struggles to stay just above the water, yet I have no desire to do so.

How can one understand my desire for solitude even while loneliness is consuming what's left of me?

How can one understand my anger, my indecisiveness, my fear, my irritation, my sadness?

So, I smile and another lie slithers from my tongue.

While honestly, I'm anything but fine.