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October 4

I don't see Riley anywhere the next day and wonder if she saw the picture I sent her. If she did, she didn't reply, and since her read message alerts are clearly turned off, I can't be sure whether she's seen Carlos with the other girl or not. As far as I'm concerned, she should really be opening her eyes now.

It's strange, to be honest, how much we're worried about her when she has simply refused to even let us be a part of her life. She sits with her new friend and has even distanced herself from the classes we have together. She either doesn't come to class, or when she does, she sits across the room from us so that we have minimal chances of even making eye contact.

"Maybe we should stop," Racheal says at last as we file through the double doors towards the football grounds. "She's probably happy with Carlos and whatever new style of life she's chosen for herself."

I shrug. "Well, I've tried my last attempt," I tell her. "Nobody can save someone who doesn't want to be saved."

Marla nods in agreement, handing me a bottle of water and a packet of crisps from the vending machine. I grab them, winding my arm through Marla's so we don't get separated in the crowd. We're one of the last students heading out and I'm inwardly hoping I can find a way to skip on the game today. Not only does the noise make my head pound after a while, my back hurts from sitting too much. Getting up for the bathroom is even harder when you've crazed football fans sitting on every side of you and yelling at the top of their voices.

My eyes catch sight of a long creme-colored coat whipping into the boy's bathroom and I frown. Unless I'm hallucinating, I'm sure the guy who just vanished into the stench-filled stalls is Shane.

Maybe Fridays are going to be the only times we meet.

Realizing this might be my chance of having another interaction with him -- not that I want to interact with him but doing so doesn't hurt -- I pull my arm out of Marla's.

She raises her eyebrows and turns to look questioningly at me. "What?"

"I have to go to the bathroom," I lie. "Be right outside."

Marla nods, taking Racheal's hand. "I'll text you where our seats are when we find some."

"Kay." I wave a little as they disappear out of the door.

I wait a few moments until I'm sure there's no one around and those already gone aren't coming back. I pray to the lucky heavens to ensure there aren't any other guys in the boy's bathroom. Getting caught sneaking in behind Shane is embarrassing enough. Finding him with other boys in there will only make things more awkward. Not to mention give birth to way too many rumors.

I stop in my tracks, frowning. Honestly, I don't even know why I'm doing it. I shouldn't follow him. I have no reason to. Wouldn't it be better to just wait for him outside or simply go on to the game instead of wanting to know what he's doing?

It's a freaking bathroom, Tay, what do you think he's doing in there?

Mentally smacking myself in the face, I shake my head. I turn away from the bathroom, noticing before I look away that the door has is slightly ajar. Curiosity gets the best of me and I look around me before shifting closer to the door. Peeking in, I see Shane standing with his right side towards me at one of the basins, a small orange bottle in his hand. As I watch from my hiding spot, he pops open the lid and drops two pills onto his palm.

I freeze, staring at him as he tosses both the pills into his mouth and lifts the bottle of water next to him to his lips. He takes a couple of big gulps and puts the bottle down. Clutching the edges of the basin, he bows his head as he exhales a few sharp breaths.

Unable to believe what I'm seeing, I simply stare.

Shane looks up after what feels like ages, his eyes on his own image in the mirror. He huffs out a shaky breath, licking his lips and swallowing.

I continue to watch him, waiting for him to show me some sign that he's not doing what I think he's doing. It might be some medication a doctor prescribed him. It could be for headaches or stomach pain, maybe even for his broken leg. The fact that he's hiding in a bathroom to take them is a little suspicion but taking pills itself isn't.

Suddenly, Shane spins around to look straight at me. I gasp, straightening up. I don't run, though, not at all embarrassed at being caught. I'm almost glad that I don't have to explain to him that I saw him taking some pills.

"Taylor," Shane says, his voice low and suppressed. Color rises in his cheeks and he swallows hard. "I swear it's not ..."

I wait for him to go on but he continues to open and close his mouth like a fish out of water.

"It's not what?" I press.

Shane averts his gaze. "Whatever you think it is," he says.

It takes me a moment to gather my thoughts and I inhale deep through my nose before speaking.

"Please just tell me you're okay."

Shane's eyes widen, his lips parting in bewilderment. I look down, not sure what's more unexpected. Is he surprised at my question or how weak I sound when I ask it? Honestly, I don't care what he's taking as long as it's not what I think it is.

"Taylor," Shane breathes.

I close my eyes and struggle to get my heartbeat back to normal. Images of Carter flash before my eyes. An empty bottle of pills. Foaming mouth. Empty, vacant, staring eyes. A dead body.

The sound of his footsteps reaches me before he does. Opening my eyes and looking up, I see Shane standing right in front of me and peeking at my face.

"Tay, I'm okay," he reassures me.

"Just tell me you're not ..." The words refuse to leave my lips.

"I swear I'm not depressed," Shane says in a firm tone, looking into my eyes so that his reflect honesty. "I'm not sad or lonely or anxious or any of that. Okay?"

"You're not going to hurt yourself, are you?" I ask, sounding young and stupid. It must be so pitiful for him to see me like this. He must find me so pathetic, letting my own grief take over my perception of him. He'll probably laugh at me after I leave.

"Of course not, Taylor." Shane reaches out and places his hands on my shoulder, rooting me to the spot. "It's nothing, I promise. Just ... candy."

"Candy?" I repeat, raising my eyebrows.

"It's candy," he says again. "You know, like ... something that helps me cope with stuff but doesn't do anything."

"Cope with what stuff?" I ask.

He purses his lips.

"I'm sorry, I ..." I backtrack, feeling silly for intruding. "I just don't want you to end up like ..."

My dead brother.

His face softens further and he sighs. "I know," he breathes. "But I'm not going to hurt myself."

"Promise?" I ask in a small voice.

Shane smiles a little. "I promise."

"And you'll tell me if you ever think of doing it?"

"I swear," he agrees instantly.

"I won't tell anyone," I assure him.

"I know." Shane's smile widens. "Look, how about we make a deal? If I ever think of hurting myself, even just get a thought, I'll tell you. Okay? And what you can do in return is ... not tell anyone. That sound okay to you?"

I nod quickly, hating how vulnerable I must seem to him. I avert my gaze as Shane drops his hands and takes a step back, still smiling at me like I'm some child he's just calmed down. The thought stings and I wish I hadn't said anything at all. I shouldn't even be here, in the boy's bathroom, asking him about whatever he's doing. 

Unaware of my thoughts, Shane digs into his pocket and pulls out his phone, unlocking it and holding it out to me. I look at it then up at his face to see him smiling at me.

"I'll need your number if I'm going to call when I need you," he explains.

I take his phone from him and tap in my number. I'm about to save my name when he stops me.

"No no, not Taylor," he intervenes, taking the phone from me.

I don't react when his fingers touch mine even though my heart jumps a little.

Shane types something before showing me his screen.

"She who finds gray worth it," he reads.

I let out a breathless laugh, looking at his face with surprise.

"You know, like, he who must not be named? Voldemort? Harry Potter?" He looks like a child sharing his secret with me, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

"I know," I admit. "I'm just ... I can't believe you remember."

"Who can forget Harry Potter?" Shane jokes and I roll my eyes. "Seriously, though, I didn't forget what you wrote. I even took a picture. See?" He scrolls through his phone and holds it up to me again. Sure enough, on the screen is a picture of my scrawny handwriting.

"Do you have pictures of all the wishes you got?" I ask, my heart pounding in my chest at the thought of him having a picture of what I'd randomly written on his cast.

"No." He shakes his head, smiling as he puts the phone into his coat pocket. "Just yours."

Heat creeps up my cheeks. "Why?"

His smile becomes crooked, one of his dimples gracing me with its presence. "I just liked it more," Shane says. "It was more ... real, you know? Special. More worth it."

"You know?" I tease to hide how awkward I suddenly feel, wishing I had written something better.

Shane laughs. Whatever I saw on his face a few minutes ago is gone with the wind and replaced by his signature smile.

"Now, we should get out of here before someone finds you in the boys' bathroom and we both get in trouble," Shane points out.

"I'm not in the boys' bathroom," I tell him, not lying since I'm still standing in the doorway.

Shane cocks an eyebrow, looking down at my feet. I follow his gaze and note the toe of one of my feet on the tile of the bathroom. I roll my eyes and huff out a sigh. Shane, however, lets out a victorious laugh and places a hand on my upper arm, leading me away from the bathroom while looking proud of himself.

I let him steer me toward the game outside, noting not only how relaxed I am after talking to him but also how nice his hand feels on my skin.

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A/N: What do you think Shane is hiding? What's your level of information about this 'Candy' Shane mentioned? Also, are you liking Shane and Taylor so far? They're slowly growing closer. Sorry, but I'm a sucker for slow-burn romance rather than the more popular 'oh, hi, I love you, let's get married' crap. Haha sorry.