*Mature Content Ahead (18+)*

The sexual content and violence of this chapter is fictional. Violence should not be used against someone else unless it is absolutely necessary. Please remember that a healthy relationship provides shared comfort and satisfaction. If you are in an abusive relationship, please seek help.

Laying naked in my living room, my lungs were working hard to get and find oxygen. Micah was a freaking force of nature. One minute we were chatting like normal people, the next we were ripping at each other's clothes.

My head reeled as the thoughts of what Micah had said came back to me. 

Holy shit, no one had talked to me like that! Ben sure as fuck didn't. Beb may have said as many compliments to me in our three-year relationship, as Micah had said to me that night. 

To think, I was so close to telling him I wanted to end things. I couldn't think straight. One of the strongest thoughts was why. Why me? Why did he want me? I felt so inadequate for his attention and his affection. Didn't he have a beautiful woman for every day of the week? And then he admitted that he did! 

Fuck my Goddamn brain for fucking up shit with him! 

This never happened. I never got attention from men like him! Then again, what was my problem? Shay had even said I shouldn't fight it, but I was. Why did I have to open my mouth to let these thoughts spill out?

He had pulled away. When he did, I thought things may have clicked for him. It felt like he was on the other side of the kitchen. That, at any moment, he would turn and head out, but he stayed. Not only did he stay, but he looked at me like I was a goddess. His caress when his hands came back to my skin, was soft, gentle, caring.

"Gorgeous?" His deep husky voice snapped me back to the present. He had rolled onto his side, next to me. "You look too deep in thought. Aren't we not thinking?"

"Sorry," the word came out groggy. I rubbed my face with my hands. "I'm pretty drained from my shift." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't the full truth either.

"You sure that's all that drained you?" He nipped playfully at my shoulder.

Smiling into my hands, "You're ridiculous!" He rolled me into him. His larger frame wrapping around mine. All of the cushions from my couch were on the floor as well as the blanket. "We made a bit of a mess. What now?" I uncovered my face to look at him. He was close.  I suddenly felt a blush heat my cheeks as he scanned my face. The look in his eyes was mysterious, heated, but calm.

"Be mine." He said it so matter-of-factly that I started laughing.

"Is it Valentine's day? Sorry lover, pretty sure it's still only April."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Didn't you just?"

"Yes, smart ass. I want to know about what you said earlier. You don't like compliments, okay, but talking like you aren't good enough. Saying you're a 'nobody.' Talk to me."

"I don't know. Ben is my only ex. I had never dated anyone before him and I haven't dated anyone since. He and I got into a relationship for all the wrong reasons. At first, he was kind and affectionate but," I stopped. Feeling vulnerable, I realized I was about to bare some of my most personal experiences with Micah. Laying naked on my apartment floor, I felt less bare than what I knew I wanted to share with him.  "It was a lot of physical attraction. When he got distant, he started pushing me away and then reeling me back in. Like an idiot, I fell for it every time."

He was running his hands up and down my back. Comforting and reassuring me at the same time. "You don't have to continue if you don't want to." 

Micah hadn't pushed me to talk about my mom either. I admired that he was, yet again, giving me a way out. I pressed my lips to his and nuzzled my head against his.

"I'm okay. I'd like to share this with you,  I just haven't really opened up to many people. So going back, you've asked about my mom. My mom passed away last year from cancer." His arms tightened, but he stayed quiet. "Ben decided that it was the best time to get jealous of my time and ended up fucking his ex while I took care of my mom. Anyway, what really fucked me up was a couple of months back. He had called me, said the right things, and got me to come over. He had been staying with his sister and I had a moment of weakness.  We," it was getting harder to talk. Dredging up the muck of the nastiest thoughts was hard.

"Stop," he hushed. "Tell me when you're ready, but not tonight. Tonight, I want to take you out. You can cook for us another night. Let's go for a walk around Old Town and get something to eat when we get hungry. You in?"

"Do I have to find something nice to wear or can I wear jeans and a T?" The corners of my mouth turned up as I asked him about my attire.

"Shit! I almost forgot." He jumped up, threw on his pants and darted out the door.

With raised brows, I sat up, wrapping the blanket around myself. I was confused about what had him rushing out of my apartment, but his keys and phone lay on my kitchen counter and his shoes were still by the door. 

If we were going out, I was at least going to wash up a bit. Throwing pillows back onto the couch, I headed to my bathroom. As the steam filled the room, I heard the front door close. I stepped into the shower and started washing my body. 

I smelled like the restaurant and sex. Although I didn't mind smelling like him or sex, I had no idea where we were headed tonight. 

"I bought you something today." Micah was standing in the doorway of the bathroom. 

"You don't need to buy me anything, Micah. Do you want to join me?" I poked my head around the curtain and licked the water droplets from my lips.

"I don't need to do anything, but I wanted to. As for the shower, I have to decline. If I get in there with you, we will not be going out tonight." Approaching me, he gave me a kiss and stood at the edge of the shower. Watching me hands as I exfoliated my skin with my white loofah.

"Well thank you for whatever it is you got me." Quickly rinsing off as I shampooed my hair. 

"My pleasure." He gave me a wink and disappeared into my bedroom.

I felt giddy. Micah had gotten me something, but what? I needed him to take it back if it was too expensive. I went over what I'd say and how I'd react to his gift, in my head. I didn't even know where we stood. 

Drying my hair with my towel, I looked into my mirror as the fog cleared I could see Micah standing behind me holding something. Turning, my jaw dropped. 

"I felt bad, so I replaced it."

"And bought three more! Micah, you really shouldn't have!"

"What can I say? I liked the dress on you." His boyish grin was sending excited shivers up my spine. He stood there with the same dress that he had ripped the night before. He had also gotten it in black, teal, and silver.

"I can't accept these, Micah!" He placed them on my bed behind him and returned to me. I turned back to the mirror as I combed through my hair. Putting it into a loose french braid, I'd keep it out of my face without needing to mess with the dryer.

"Too late, I cut the tags. I even put your name on them. They are yours now." He smiled as he watched my fingers divide and maneuver my hair.

Scoffing at him, "You did not!" 

"Well maybe not your name, but I did cut the tags. Plus, they wouldn't look half as good on me as they would on you." 

"Very funny."

"I'm glad you think so." His impish smile turned lustful as I turned and dropped my towel.

"Which one should I wear tonight?" As he began to raise his hands to touch me, I swatted them away, wagging my finger at him. 

"There is more." His Adam's apple bobbed as he watched me walk into the bedroom.

I stopped short as I saw what else was on my bed. Gorgeous red lace. Tracing my fingers over the swirled pattern, it was soft and elegant. The tags were gone, the size printed on the band. They were my size! 

"But how did y- These are my size. How?"

"You weren't up when I got up this morning. I was curious. Plus, I really like the thought of pampering you. Having torn your dress, I knew I needed to replace it and make up for it."

"This is too much. I can't," I turned and nearly fell over. My legs betrayed me, but he caught me. Arm circling my waist and pulling me into him. He was fully clothed and stunningly handsome. My weak lungs were having trouble remembering how to operate.

"You can, and you will. I'm gifting them to you. I think the teal one would look beautiful on you tonight. Whether you choose to wear the lace," his breath fanned across my temple, "is optional."

"Does that mean you'd rather me be naked under the dress you bought me?"

"It means you're in control of what happens tonight. If you choose not to wear them, I cannot guarantee that I'll behave." His fingertips over my skin were feather-light. Goosebumps raised on my skin, nipples hardened, as I weighed my options.

I loved the feeling of control he allowed me, but I felt like I was giving him mixed signals. I wanted to slow things down. A relationship shouldn't be built on lust and physical attraction, solely. Right? At the same time, sex with him was freaking amazing!

Picking up the sexy lingerie, I decided it was better to be worn. Bending forward, I pressed my ass into his front, issuing a tight hiss from his lips as he gripped my hips. Yeah, I was no good at being good.

He had stepped out of the room, claiming he needed some water. My laughter filled the room and I finished getting dressed. When I did join him, he was leaning on his elbows against the kitchen counter. Sure enough, he had a glass of water in front of him.

"You okay?" I ran my hand up his back and let my fingers linger along his shoulders.

"Yeah, sorry. Just lost in thought. You re," as he stood, he turned. "Wow!" I could feel his breathing still and his eyes roamed down my body.

"See something you like, Micah? Are you ready to go?" Sliding my hand down his shoulder, he caught my hand in his.

"You know I do. I feel like a very lucky man." 

My cheeks heated and he pulled me into him. "You want me to drive?" He stubbornly didn't move and ignored my question. He just stood there, looking at me.

"What if I said I want to spoil you? Would you let me? If I asked you to be mine, would you say yes?" He had pulled my hand to his mouth and grazed my knuckles, never breaking eye contact with me.

"Yes," wait, what?!  My damn head had turned to sludge again and I was no longer thinking clearly. My mouth had no working filter, fuck!

"Yes to which part? To it all of it?" His sensual mouth curved upward as his thumb caressed my wrist, sending wickedly good feelings up my arm and into my chest.

"I don't know," I told him truthfully. This was brutally new for me, almost to the point of being raw. I'd been used to an occasional hookup, but there seemed to be more to this thing I had with Micah. "We just met Micah. We don't know each other that well and I'm not even sure I'm ready for a relationship. I'm not even sure why I said 'yes,' I just need to think about it."

"Understandable. I do want to point out that we have known each other for a little over two days. So far, we have been together for both of those nights, and tonight is just beginning. Why stop this? Why deny what is going on? I'm more than willing to give you time if that is what you need, but for me it's pretty straight forward." He guided my hands to the back of his neck as he wrapped his arms around my waist. "I like you. You like me. Let's do this."

Thoughts wurred through my brain as I soaked in what he was saying. Seemingly decent, extremely good looking, with a great sense of humor, and the sex was mind-numbing. It wasn't hard to answer.

"Ok, on one condition." I bit my lip knowing what I was about to say was going to be as hard for me as it could be for him. I felt like it was necessary to see if we would work.

He looked down at me with an excited smile, lighting up his eyes, "Name it."

"No sex."

"What?" His shocked expression made me laugh. 

"You want this to work?" Watching him nod, pecked him on the cheek. "If we are going to make this work, no sex for at least two months. I'm willing to give us a shot but I want to make sure it's for all the right reasons, not the wrong ones."

Groaning he shoved his face into my cleavage. I had a feeling he was going to accept. Massaging my fingers into his scalp, smiling down into the top of his head. When he finally came up for air, he looked rueful. "Okay," he agreed.

"Okay?" Smirking at him as he ran a hand through his hair.

"You're going to have to change, though." Cocking an eyebrow at him, he clarified. "Sweat pants, granny panties, sports bra, tank top with a shirt over it, and a super large hoodie."

"Oh!" Throwing my head back, I barked out laughter. "Not happening. Come on. Dinner awaits!" Watching him chew on his lower lip, he reluctantly followed.

This was going to feel like a long month, but with the anniversary of my mom's death coming up, I needed simple. Simple love life. Simple work. Simple routine.

He drove us to dinner. We wandered around Old Town until we got hungry and found a hole in the wall restaurant to eat at. 

He was making as much of an effort to open up as I was. We talked about our families. He had been raised by his mom, Giovanni's only sister. He didn't have any siblings but the cousins he had, had been close enough to be brothers and sisters. 

Talking about high school, it turned out we had some mutual acquaintances. His buddy, Jack, was the one who made my fake ID from in high school. It was actually Lexi who got them for us, making me wonder how long she had known Micah.

When we finally got back to my apartment, I was exhausted. Unlocking the door, I paused. Turning to Micah, I stretched up to kiss him. He leaned one hand against the door and the other pulled at my waist.

"Thank you for tonight." My voice came out quieter than usual, not quite my own. 

"Aren't you going to invite me inside?"

He swooped down to claim my mouth. Opening to him, parting my lips and allowing his tongue to dance with mine. My head felt light as I rolled it away from him, allowing him full access to my neck. Breathing a heated trail across my cheek and down my neck. 

My body took over my actions and all I wanted to do was grip him at his base and pull him free from his pants. Pull him into my apartment and ravage him. Let him ravage me. The surge of heat between my thighs was going to be the death of me as I regained control. Pushing against his chest. Relinquishing his hold of my hip, he stepped back. 

"Not tonight, lover." I couldn't meet his eyes. I didn't want to. 

He lifted my chin to force my gaze to meet his and said, "Then I will see you tomorrow."

"I can't, I work all day."

"Then I'll have Italian for lunch and or dinner tomorrow." 

"And or?" I smiled at the thought.

"If it means I get to see you, of course."

"My next day off is Wednesday."

"I'll clear my schedule for Wednesday." Still smiling, he gave me a soft kiss. "You know my number if you can't stand having an empty bed. I'll happily come back. Sweet dreams, baby girl."

He turned to travel down the stairs, pausing and looking up at me before he disappeared from view. I'd been holding my breath. Shutting my eyes I leaned my weight against my door. 

No sex. No Sex. No Sex. This was my stupid idea and I was already regretting it.

Sleep took me quickly after I changed. The day had been rough. I'd almost told Micah about what had happened with Ben, and it weighed heavily on my mind. My subconscious floated me back there as I drifted to sleep.  

Standing in the small bathroom, I washed my hands. Sarah was in the kitchen making us lunch. She was glad that I had decided to hear her brother out, claimed he was so distraught over me cutting ties. 

The door opened and Ben slid in. 

"It's all yours, I just finished." Toweling my hands dry, he slid up behind me. I could feel his dick pressing through his baggy jeans.

"Good. I want you."

"Your sister is in the other room, no!" I pushed against him and tried to push my way around him. He blocked my movements.

"Come on Remi. You saying you don't want this dick?"

"Ben, I said no. Let's just go have a good time with your sister. She said lunch is almost done."

He didn't move. Instead he roamed his hands over down my chest, over my stomach and into the band of my shorts. The rush of familiar heat hit me and my hips moved against his touch.

"Fuck me, just once. Right here. Right now. You know you want to."

"Yes, fuck yes," I whispered into his shoulder as my body hummed for him. There was no denying what my body wanted. In that moment, I needed him.

Roughly, he turned me, pulling my shorts and underwear to my knees. With a single thrust, he filled me. Moaning into the vanity, he covered my mouth. Quickening the pace, knowing he wouldn't last long. 

A knock came at the door. "You ok Remi? Lunch in about five minutes."

"Answer her." The demand was in my ear as his fingers found my clit. The combination of thrusts and his hand, I could barely breathe. 

"Fine. I'm okay. Thanks." I tried to make the words come out as coherent as possible. 

Hearing her footsteps fade down the hall, Ben fucked me harder. Gripping my throat from behind, he began grunting. He was close. 

"I'm going to come in that tight fucking cunt." His dirty mouth surged my orgasm to the surface and I came hard as he jerked inside me, coming with me.

Withdrawing too soon, I supported my weight on the counter. 

"Thanks for that Remi." He pulled his pants back up and slid back out of the bathroom. Leaving me feeling like a used whore. I could have told him no. I could have yelled out to his sister, but I didn't.

I wiped up, washed my hands before I left the confines of the bathroom. When I rounded the corner of the kitchen, they had company. In complete shock, I stood in the doorway and gaped at Ben and his ex making out against the kitchen counter. Sarah was nowhere in sight. 

"Enjoy my sloppy seconds, I'm out of here," I remember saying. The problem was that my legs wouldn't move. I stood there standing, watching Ben rip away from her. My memory of her was vague as I tried to focus on the fogged female that he had been tonguing.

"Shut the fuck up, Remi." Stomping across the kitchen to me, Ben had his finger jabbed at my chest. 

"Why? So she doesn't find out about what we just did?"

"What is she talking about?" The stupid bimbo spoke.

"Were any of the things you said to me true?" Sneering at Ben as he approached, backing myself up into the hallway. Everything in me was ready to bolt but I didn't move.

"Shut the fuck up, Remi."

"What's going on in here?" Sarah rounded the corner and her eyes went wide as she caught sight of his ex. "What the fuck is she doing here?"

"I'm talking about him fucking me in the bathroom just now. I'm out of here." I turned to leave but I was greeted by Ben's hands around my neck. Thrusting me against the wall and slamming the air from my lungs. 

"Damnit bitch, why can't you listen to what you're being fucking told."

"Ben get the fuck off of her!" Sarah was the one hanging off his arms, trying desperately to pry him off of me. She was half his size and yet she was coming to help me. 

I couldn't breath. Panic flooded me and I couldn't even fight.

When he did let go, Sarah went full force at him. Punching and hitting him, yelling at him to get out and take the tramp with him. 

The front door closed and my vision corrected itself. Sarah kneeling in front of me. Her words disappeared as the dream did.

Shooting straight up in bed, I reached for my throat. It was a dream. Just a dream. I wasn't there. I was safe. My hands shook as I reached for my phone. It felt like hours before a knock came at my door.

Hesitantly, I checked the peephole. He came. With no text back, he was there.

Opening my door, I flung myself into Micah's arms. He back stepped us into my apartment and locked the door, bolted and chained. 

My chest eased as I melted against him. The tension that knotted my body from the helpless memory, untangled as he tightened his arms around me. 

Cooing into my hair, he was there. I needed him and he was there.

***

A/N: I personally was in a relationship where he was verbally abusive. It turned physical and the dream scene is based on something I went through. 

I hope you are enjoying "Seeing Red," so far. Please feel free to comment, vote, or share. I'd love to hear what you think so far.

xoxo