Akaashi kept rocking himself a bit, trying not to get too nervous. Bokuto was okay. He was going to be out of surgery soon and everything would be okay. Everything was okay.

"Akaashi?"

Akaashi looked over to Kuroo. "Hi."

Kuroo held out his hand. "Come on, Bo is being moved to his room."

Akaashi rejected his hand and stood. They went up two levels to where Bokuto was sleeping soundly, a nurse checking on him and monitoring him.

"Everything is okay?"

"Everything went well." The nurse looked up and Akaashi tensed despite his smile. "He should be awake within the hour."

Akaashi eyed him as he left. Kuroo noticed this. "You know him?"

"He's an old client."

"How many 'old clients' do you have?"

"Over two thousand..."

Kuroo's eyes widened. "Two thousand?"

"Mhmm. I was only there for five years though and the number is because of how many times I had to be in groups."

"That doesn't sound fun."

"It wasn't fun at all." Akaashi sat down by Bokuto's bed and watched Bokuto breathe, his chest moving up and down slowly. He set his hand there and just tried to relax. He hated talking about things like that and just wanted to focus on Bokuto.

Bokuto didn't react to the touch and just kept his steady breathing. Apparently he reacted fast to being put under and would be asleep for quite a while and delirious when he woke up. Akaashi didn't mind though.

Kuroo kept him company for a bit until he had to go home and Akaashi stayed in his seat. He rocked himself back and forth a bit. He felt calm right now and everything felt okay.

"Mm...?"

"Kotarou?" Akaashi looked up and smiled. "How are you feeling?"

"Happy as a clam. Like a bean." Bokuto smiled and opened his eyes. "Stop touchin my boobs please."

Akaashi moved his hand quickly and Bokuto moved his hand up a bit. "I didn't mean to touch you like that."

"Shhhh, shhhh." Bokuto grabbed his hand. "You're lovely!" Akaashi sat up a bit. Bokuto kissed Akaashi's knuckles. "So very lovely."

"Kotarou, that's inappropriate."

"Mm? No, no I'm just lovin 'on ya. Didn't mean to." Bokuto scrunched up his nose and his eyes widened. "Ouch."

"Cannula. To make sure you're breathing okay."

"Mm. Okay." Bokuto pointed to his stomach. "Done?"

"They took it out, yes. Does it hurt?"

Bokuto shook his head and closed his eyes. "Feel heavy."

"Is that bad?"

"No, cloud heavy."

"Ah okay?" Akaashi stood slowly to stop from startling Bokuto and leaned over to fix his blanket.

"Kashi you needa boyfriend."

"I don't think partners fix everything though. I don't need a boyfriend."

Bokuto perked up. "You're smart."

"Thank you."

"Whatcha doin?"

"Fixing your blanket Ko. Are you comfortable?"

"Mhmm! I have a super duper ultra important question for you." Bokuto poked him with one of his mostly asleep fingers.

"Oh yeah? What's that?" Akaashi questioned as he made sure Bokuto's hair wouldn't fall in his eyes. Bokuto hated it when it did that.

"Can I be your boyfriend when ya want one?"

Akaashi froze. Not again. "Kotarou I don't know about that. I need time to adjust myself."

Bokuto stared at him. The anesthetic was making his mind foggy still but he saw the pain in Akaashi's eyes. "Mkay. When you say okay though then it's okay, right?"

Akaashi sighed. "I guess so."

"Guess so?"

"I do adore you very much but you were my client and that makes things complicated."

Bokuto tapped his fingers across Akaashi's forehead, curious. "I just wanna take care of you. You're so lovely an I don't mind everything or everyone who touched you. Gosh Keiji you're so beautiful... when you're ready we can be together and I'll make you so happy. I wanna make you so happy."

Akaashi smiled at him. "You already make me happy Ko."

"Happier. You deserve to be happier." Bokuto's eyes fluttered. "This medicine is making me sleepy."

Akaashi hummed. "Need anything before you fall back asleep?"

"A hug?"

Akaashi hugged him and Bokuto rested his arms on Akaashi. "Is this okay?"

"Perfect..."

Akaashi felt Bokuto's arms slip a bit and his heart monitor slowed slightly. He was asleep again and breathing softly against Akaashi's neck. Everything was quiet in this room except Akaashi's own beating heart. He wanted Bokuto to take care of him and he wanted to take care of Bokuto but it felt difficult. He had been touched by so many people and felt so disgusting.

Bokuto shifted a bit, sighing. He was so gentle.

Gentle was what Akaashi longed for so much and he finally had it and he finally had someone who genuinely loved him but he didn't know what to do.

"Ah, is he making you stand like that?"

Akaashi glanced over to see Kenji. "He's asleep right now."

She smiled warmly. Same bright and loving smile as Bokuto. She walked over and gently moved her little brothers arms. Bokuto whined and fussed a bit, confused. "Why hello there handsome. Mind moving so Akaashi can be comfortable?"

Bokuto clung to Akaashi's light jacket. "Leave me aloneeee."

"I know that you may be upset right now but he needs to be comfortable too."

Akaashi was immediately let go. "He's not comfy?"

Akaashi put his hand on Bokuto's waist away from where the incision was. "It's okay. I was standing though so it was a bit uncomfortable. My fault."

"Lower the thingy." Bokuto grabbed for his bed remote. "Just go down."

Akaashi helped him lower the bed and sat on the side of it, holding his hand. "You okay?"

"So tired," Bokuto slurred. He yawned before closing his eyes. "Night."

"Sleep well."

Kenji sat down. "So everything went okay?"

"Mhmm. They're waiting for him to fully wake up to check on him more. He's been a little talkative which I see as good."

"Great. In the past he's been very in and out for hours and talkative when awake so all of this is normal." She shifted in her seat. "Just make sure not to feed him so he doesn't choke and everything should be good."

Akaashi nodded. The nurse came back in and he ignored the negative thoughts about him. He had degraded him so hard he had cried during his session four years ago. It still hurt.

"Hello! So I'm going to be Kotarou's main nurse during the day. Just a few things about what he may experience are some light bleeding, some menopause symptoms like hot or cold flashes and mood swings, fatigue, and possible appetite loss. Since he does have a record of depression there will be a therapist on call to come and talk to him about any depression symptoms. The doctor will update you completely on hormone therapy and continuing it along with meals and medicine. Everything sound good?"

Akaashi nodded. "Will he be able to use the bathroom normally soon and what controls the bleeding?"

"He actually has in a catheter at the moment so he does not get up and a sanitary pad for any vaginal bleeding."

Kenji perked up. "Will the hospital provide any sort of supplies for the people caring for the incision?"

"The doctor will inform you more on that."

She gave him a disappointed look before nodding. "Thanks."

Akaashi avoided the stare he was getting. He knew that stare so well and it made him so upset to see people give him a lustrous look. He hadn't done anything to try to turn him on. He wasn't doing anything so why was he acting like this?

Yet again he felt disgusted.

"Sir, is there another nurse we can get? Possibly female? Kotarou doesn't do well with male figures."

The nurse chuckled softly. "I would have to hear that from him, sorry."

Kenji sat up. She could see the way Akaashi hunched his shoulders and avoided eye contact. Bokuto did the same thing when feeling threatened by a male presence specifically. "Get another nurse in here that I can talk to or I'm filing a complaint."

He gave her a nasty smile before walking out.

Akaashi sighed in relief. "You know him?"

"Another one of those people."

"One of the worse ones?"

"Mhmm."

Kenji set a hand on Akaashi's. "We are going to make sure that nothing like whatever any of those people did happens to you ever again."

"Thank you."

"Of course."

There was a beat of silence before Akaashi spoke up again. "He's asked me to be his partner."

"What did you say?"

"I told him no."

"I can understand that. You may need time or not share his feelings."

Akaashi nodded. The nurse walked back in and a female nurse came in behind him. "Hello there! The patient doesn't enjoy male company? Well, nurses?"

"Yes, I can explain when he steps out."

The nurse stepped out and the newer one stepped forward. "Is everything okay?"

"That nurse is someone we're uncomfortable with due to past meetings and Kotarou has male related trauma."

"Male related trauma? I'm a bit confused."

"Kotarou is transgender and has trauma related to men seeing or touching his body. He may have a panic attack if he is touched by that nurse."

"I am in no way judging but what about him?" She pointed to Akaashi. She looked innocent enough and curious so he didn't take offense to this.

"That is a dear friend of his. He's the only one that really is allowed close to him in a private situation."

"Ah. Okay. Thank you for informing me. I'll read up about the patient and come back." She walked out and Akaashi smiled to himself. It was a step. A baby step, yes. But a step nonetheless.