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"So you were lying when you said you're not good with knives?" Jaffnah blurted out while they're heading to the room where Zefarino said his collection was. Nasa hallway sila at kalalabas lang mula sa kwarto ni Jaffnah, at patuloy na nag-uusap.

"No, that's not what I said before, Lereve," he replied concernedly. He even stopped walking and turned around to look at Jaffnah. 

Jaffnah crossed her arms and squinted. "Bakit, ano bang sinabi mo? That you don't even know how to properly cook, how are you supposed to stab me with a knife, am I right?" mataray na tanong ng dalaga na para bang abogado kung makakuwestiyon.

"Yes, that's the truth, Lereve." Bakas sa mukha ni Zefarino na seryoso siya, ngunit naroon din ang pag-aalala na baka kung anong isipin sa kaniya ng babae. "I don't know how to cook."

"Yes, and I believed that, but now you're telling me you have a collection of knives, that just proves that you're capable of stabbing someone. You can kill me."

"What does it have to do with my collection? And do you believe that I can stab you? Not with a knife, yes."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ni Jaffnah nang maintindihan niya ang ibig sabihin ni Zefarino. Hindi pa siya nakapagsalita at muntikang mapabuga. Agad siyang napaiwas ng tingin nang maalala ang nangyari sa library kagabi at saktong nasa tapat na pala sila ng library kaya nakita niya kung gaano ka-disaster ang buong lugar dahil sa ginawa nila. Nasa sahig ang mga nakakalat na libro na nahulog sa kagagawan nilang dalawa. Napapaypay na lamang siya ng kaniyang mukha.

"What I mean is, I never once lied to you, Lereve, and I don't have a plan to do so even with the smallest thing. I am always honest with you," he said softly. Jaffnah was awed and she could hear her heart beating so fast. She even stuttered when she tried to rebut. She has no words left to complain. Because in all honesty, it was her who always lied to the man even with the smallest thing. She always hides even her feelings she's trying to set aside. But all the more she tries to deteriorate it with a mindset that it is not her focus, she can't escape the fact that there will be a time, she'll accept to herself that she's falling. Who wouldn't be? Zefarino is a total package—god-looking man, has a profession, a famous one, has a provider mindset, a good heart, definitely wealthy and absolutely healthy. Who wouldn't be attracted to this guy? 

"And even if I know you'll think about me this way or it might creep you out, I did not try to keep the truth away from you." Zefarino held her hand as he rubbed his finger on it. "I accepted you here because I want you to help me with my dream. That thought should have hinted you that I don't want you to die, Lereve."

If there could be words enough to describe what Jaffnah felt that moment, she was completely shaken. It is not a confession, still she believes, but that confirms how slow-witted she is. Her heart right now wants to escape from her chest, and she's going nuts because she can't vocalize about it. If she admits her thoughts and feelings, would Zefarino consider it or he was just gonna press that she's just a child?

"Then, show me your collection so we can be sure that the knife that is in my dream is that actual knife you have," wika ni Jaffnah habang nakatitig sa mga makahulugang tingin ni Zefarino.

"Alright. Come with me."

Nakasunod lamang si Jaffnah sa manunulat. Hawak niya ang kaniyang dibdib na ramdam pa rin ang malakas na kabog ng kaniyang puso. Peste kasi ang mga salitang namumutawi sa bibig ni Zefarino, parang umaamin, dahil parang may ibig sabihin.

"Wait for me here, I'll just get the keys from my room," wika ni Zefarino tsaka naglakad paalis. Nakatulong naman iyon para mas makahinga nang maluwag ang dalaga. Napatingin siya sa nasa harap niya. Isa iyong malaking pader kaya nakapagtataka kung bakit siya roon iniwan ni Zefarino. Wala namang pinto o bakas na isa itong kwarto.

Sandali lang ay bumalik din si Zefarino dala ang susi. Napanganga si Jaffnah nang makitang itinulak ni Zefarino nang bahagya ang maliit na bahagi ng pader at doon nakita niya ang maliit na susian. Isinuksok doon ni Zefarino ang susi at tuluyan na itong nagbukas.

Namamangha si Jaffnah nang makapasok siya sa isang kwarto na punong-puno ng mga koleksyon ng kutsilyo. Iba-ibang disenyo. Nakakapanindig balahibo. Lalo pa't naka-display ito sa buong paligid.

"Nobody knows this room so I want you to keep this a secret from others," saad ni Zefarino tsaka inilapag ang susi sa isang table. Parang museyo ang buong kwarto sa dami ng mga kutsilyong naroon. Natatakot nga si Jaffnah dahil baka mamaya ay may biglang lumipad na kutsilyo sa katawan niya at pagsasaksakin siya. Bakit nga ba niya hinayaan ang sarili na pumasok sa kwartong ito kasama si Zefarino gayong alam niya naman na ito ang taong sumaksak sa kaniya sa panaginip?

"Are you scared?"

"A little."

Ngumisi si Zefarino. "Why? You don't trust me?"

Hindi nakasagot si Jaffnah at ibinaling sa ibang bagay ang tingin. Sinubukan niya na lamang na hanapin ang kutsilyong tinutukoy niya sa panaginip.

"You can open the door and leave."

"Tsk. Isn't it normal to be a little scared?" Jaffnah hissed. "After all, you are my killer."

"I am not. You are still alive, Lereve."

Jaffnah turned to him. "But you might... kill me one day," she seriously replied.

"How many times do I have to tell you—ughh—forget it. You won't believe me anyway." Zefarino went to the cabinet near the corner before opening it. "Here's what you are looking for. Am I correct?"

Mabilis na lumapit si Jaffnah sa tabi ng lalaki at sinuring maigi ang kutsilyong hawak ni Zefarino. Tiningnan niya ang notebook kung saan naroon ang sketch niya. Napatunghay na lang siya kay Zefarino upang tagpuin ang mga mata nito ang kumpirmahing ayun nga ang hinahanap nila.

"How can we dispose of it?" tanong ni Jaffnah. "Should we bury it?"

"Don't you think it would be safe just to let it be here? Haven't you seen the room earlier? It is not visible even for you. No one would go here."

Jaffnah sucked her teeth. "Well, don't you think it would be safe for the both of us if that knife is away from this mansion? So we can prevent things from happening. Paano kung bigla kang mainis sa akin at mapuno tapos magdilim ang paningin mo at saksakin ako?"

"If your mind is that wild, you shouldn't have applied here in the first place," he insinuated.

"Aba, malay ko ba na ikaw pala ang manunulat na tinutukoy nila Sir Mon at Sir Pit?! At isa pa, wala akong trabaho ng mga panahon na iyon kaya desperada na ako!"

Zefarino cleared his throat. He couldn't imagine that they'll be in a petty argument just because of a mere knife. "So what do you want us to do with it?" he asked in an undertone.

"I think we should let someone hide it in a safer place."

"I'll ask Pit to hide it," he suggested.

Jaffnah wasn't convinced and raised an idea. "Hmmm... can we ask Red instead?" 

Napalingon naman si Zefarino. "Why? You don't trust him?"

"No, it's not that, Zefarino, but I trust Red more because she's my bestfriend."

"Really?" he confirmed.

"Yes, I can trust my life to her, Zefarino."

The man stared at the woman's certain eyes. "Alright." Inabot ni Zefarino ang kutsilyong iyon sa kamay ng dalaga. The cold knife sent shivers to her whole body system. She did not know that possessing a knife like this would make her anxiety grow more. She should bring it to her best friend as soon as possible.

"Wait, can I ask something to be sure?" tanong ni Jaffnah nang papalabas na sila ni Zefarino sa kwarto. 

"I'm listening."

"This knife, and even those collections you have, how did you end up having those? Did you buy it yourself?"

Zefarino shook his head and leaned on the door. Ipinasada niya ang kaniyang mga mata sa buong kapaligiran. Ngayon na lang din kasi niya ito muling nasilayan makalipas ng maraming taon. "They are from my grandfather, even that knife you're holding is from him. He gifted it to me when I was thirteen years old. He said that knife is the only one in the world."

A smile formed in his lips as he reminisced the moments he had with his grandfather. "He knows how I fancy knives and so he bought me this collection. He's the only one who did not look at me like I was the creepiest human being in the world for having aichmomania. He was my only fan and believer that I can write stories from my dreams. But he died that year, and you know what? That year was also the first time I have dreamed about that Dick Brain book," mahabang kuwento ni Zefarino. Nakatitig lamang si Jaffnah sa manunulat habang nakikinig at napagtanto niya nga rin na iyon ang unang beses na nagkuwento ito nang matagal tungkol sa kaniyang nakaraan. It is different from their conversation last time. It feels like she learned something new and important about the man.

May biglang naalala si Jaffnah. "Pero ang nakalagay sa book mo, nine years old pa lang ay nagsusulat ka na tungkol sa mga panaginip mo. Akala ko noong nine years old mo nasimulan ang libro mo."

Umiling si Zefarino at ngumiti. "No, Lereve. I told you, my grandfather is the only one who believes in my talent and it was not that easy to publish a book. When I was nine, yes, I started writing about my dreams but that wasn't the Dick Brain. It was just some short stories that you can call weird or lame. I was just starting back then. To think about a nine year old having a dream, that surely about superheroes and childhood fantasies, but when I was thirteen, that's when I experienced having continuous dreams."

Sandali namang natahimik si Jaffnah habang ina-absorb lahat ng impormasyong binabanggit ni Zefarino. She was overwhelmed by the thought that the man is sharing his life with her. What could it mean? Does that writer trust her? What for? She couldn't help but ask herself, but chose to set aside those thoughts and rather focused on their conversation.

"Si Officer Pito, sa libro mo, siya ba si Sir Pit?" Jaffnah asked. She seemed so invested in how to make this conversation longer with the man.

Umiling si Zefarino. "No, I wrote the book before I met Pit. Actually, Pito is the name of my pet when I was young."

"A pet?" she curiously asked. They are still at the doorway, having a conversation like they seemed to forget that they were about to leave.

"Yes, my only friend back then."

"What kind of animal is your pet? A cat?" pag-uusisa pa ni Jaffnah. 

"No, it was a bird. A Eurasian blackbird," Zefarino explained with a bittersweet smile on his lips. "It was gifted to me when I was seven years old so I named that bird, Pito. Corny, isn't it?"

"Hindi, ah! Ang unique kaya. Hindi ko alam na nag-aalaga ka pala noon ng ibon. Nasaan na siya?"

"They killed it."

Napanganga si Jaffnah. "H-ha? Pinatay ang alaga mong Eurasian blackbird? Nino? Bakit naman? Sabi mo, iyon na lang ang kaibigan mo!"

"I don't know. I can't remember who killed it. But it was just that certain day, when I visited his cage and found that bird, unalive. They keep on telling me that my pet was a crow and it brings misfortune in life so that must be a reason why they killed it I guess."

Bakas ang awa sa mukha ng dalaga. Nakatingin siya sa manunulat na puno ng simpatya. Kahit siya ay napabuntong-hininga. "Siguradong nalungkot ka no'n, Zefarino. Sino ba namang hindi, kung mawawala ang kaisa-isang kaibigan mo sa mundo? Nakikiramay ako kahit matagal na. Thank you for sharing that with me. I never thought that you have such a painful past," malumanay na saad ni Jaffnah habang hinahagod at tinatapik-tapik ang malaking braso ng lalaki. Hindi naman mapigilang mapangiti sa loob ni Zefarino. He is becoming amazed by her sincerity. So this is how it feels to have someone concerned about you?

"Kaya siguro kinupkop mo rin si Sir Pit noon, ano? Naalala mo ang alaga mong ibon sa kaniya?"

"Not really, but perhaps, a little yes. He had a picture of Eurasian blackbird on his shirt when I saw him at the jail. He was so loud asking everyone to get him free and he was just framed up, and because I was doing some research at the jail and got so annoyed with his noise, I helped him so he couldn't disturbed me without knowing that he'll be a leech and disturbed my whole life."

Natawa naman si Jaffnah. The last time, Sir Pit talked about his side of story and hearing the other side of it makes her genuinly amazed. "I think you treat Sir Pit as your best friend and I think he feels the same way with you."

"You think so?" giit ni Zefarino.

"Yes."

"Then I must believe it."

"You should," Jaffnah answered. "I am a witness of his endless support for you, even with Sir Mon, I think he's doing his best to help you."

"Nah, you're wrong about that. He's doing everything for money, so don't trust that man wholeheartedly," natatawang komento ni Zefarino.

"Bakit naman? Mukhang mabait naman si Sir Mon, ah. Strikto lang siya dahil mahirap kayang maging manager," pagtatanggol ni Jaffnah.

"Hah! You don't know what you're talking about. Because of him, I did a lot of stupid things in my life. Remember, when I told you I visited jail to do some investigative research for my books? Think about how I can get there."

Si Jaffnah naman ang napanganga at natawa. "Oo nga pala! You have your condition! I can't imagine Sir Mon's method so you can be at places without triggering your fear."

"Those are the things I don't want to talk about anymore, so if you don't have any questions, may we leave this room and have some breakfast?"

"Fine!" humahalakhak na hirit ni Jaffnah bago lumabas ng pinto, kasunod si Zefarino. "Siguro pinipiringan ka ni Sir Mon."

"Shush. Shut up, Lereve," napipikong wika ni Zefarino.

"Bakit? Iniisip ko lang kung paano ka nadadala roon sa police station. Naka-shades ka ba?"

"Stop it," seryosong sambit ng lalaki tsaka hinarap si Jaffnah pagkatapos na maisara ang secret room na iyon.

"Inaano ba kita?" nakangisi pang pang-asar ni Jaffnah, pero tumigil din naman ito. "Oo na! Ito naman, talo asar. Sorry na. I promise, I won't make fun of you again. Mas lalo ka pa namang gumuguwapo kapag nakakunot ang noo mo."

"W-what?" His face furrowed.

"Wala! Ang sabi ko, ang gwapo mo pa rin kahit sa panaginip ko!"

Naestatwa si Zefarino sa sinabing iyon ni Jaffnah. It is the first time that that woman complimented his face. It is not because he needed validation, he was moved because it was from her. "But I was killing her on her dream, wasn't I?" he whispered.

Hinabol niya iyon at sinundan papunta sa kusina para samahan itong magluto. They were in the middle of their marches when they saw that the main entrance was open. And the only men who can enter the mansion even without permission are Sir Mon and Sir Pit.

Who could it be?

But that question was answered by a yell coming out of the library. "Zefarino?! Anong nangyari sa library mo?! Hindi, sandali! Mahabaging langit—Zefarino! Anong ginawa mo sa kawawang dalaga?!"

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