Walking in Georgina is waiting for me.

"You're back, finally, so was she horrible what happened?" Wow fire away with questions why don't you Georgina.

"Actually, she was really nice, a little weird but nice. She has red hair, slightly taller than me, but looks quite similar" My memory replaying her in my mind, something doesn't feel right.

"He couldn't get the real Alena, so he has gone out and found a fake one? That sounds about right for Daz" She laughed, I have to shake my head, she is going to cause trouble I know it.

"Don't be mean, she did seem nice, you'll find out for yourself tomorrow night" I hope she is nice to her, the last thing I want is Georgina thinking it is funny to say something and Daz finding out.

"How come you said she was weird?" She is looking at me questioningly.

"I'm not sure, I felt like she was constantly assessing me, maybe she thinks Daz likes me? Then when I was leaving she hugged me, and said I smelt nice and reminded her of someone. Plus, she was totally freaked out by the idea of us having a double date" I feel uneasy.

"Well, Jackson does wear nice cologne, it's popular but very expensive. Maybe that's why? You're probably worrying too much to be honest. As for a double date, if she thinks Daz like's you then maybe she doesn't want you two spending so much time together? So, she is definitely coming tomorrow then? I need to know in advance, so I can practice behaving." She seems too pleased that Jessica is coming, so she better behave.

"Yes, she'll be coming any time after six, behave Georgina" I laugh, hopefully she does not mention Daz likes me.

"Right, and is she going to be leaving early or staying over? Because I really want to know how Jackson is in bed, I still haven't found out any details" her elbow nudging me playfully, I can't help but smile and blush.

"You know what, we have time now, so sit down. Just a quick catch up, I've really missed you Alena, this place isn't the same without you" She walked to the sofa sitting waiting for me to follow, I guess I can live with it walking over I sit next to her.

"Okay, what do you want to know? Maybe try one or two questions at a time, not like fifty" Laughing at my expression she knows she does it.

"Where do I start, obviously you've done the deed, so what was he like? What is he hiding? The way he had up on the kitchen counter when we walked in on you was unlike anything I have ever seen before" Wow, straight in with the big questions.

"I'm not sure how best to answer that Georgina, so yes, we've had sex"

"When, how, where and what happened?" She just has to interrupt me, insisting on knowing every fine detail, this is why we need a full night to talk.

"The morning of Liam's accident, we went to the bar, sat talking, then we went back to his house, he kind of fucked me in his kitchen on the side" It sounds weird saying that out loud far too weird.

"You had sex in the kitchen, what is it with you two and kitchens? I want details, clearly you have-not only done it once, when else have you done it?" She is digging, I can't blame her it was Georgina all over, she digs for as much information as she can get.

"We had sex at his work, well kind of. It was his apartment inside his work, business, it's hard to explain, then every day at his house as well" I can't say much about his work, Georgina is not one to understand, and she blabs so Liam would find out quickly as well.

"Okay, so thinking back, what was amazing about it and what did you love?" More questions, she really wants all the details. Remembering back, I feel the smile on my face, him restraining and blindfolding me heighten my pleasure, the image of Max restraining me flew into my mind, the difference is unreal, with Jackson it was love, safe, consensual and enjoyable. With Max it was hate, scary and to stop me running away from him, a tear rolling down my cheek as I remember, how different two men can make the same thing is amazing.

"Did he hurt you, why are you crying, did you force you? I swear, I will kill him" Georgina now on the warpath ready for blood.

"No! It was perfect, is it weird the thing I hate about Max I love about Jackson?" Looking at her while I ask, her face changed.

"Love? What did you hate about Max that you love about Jackson? You're worrying me now Alena" She is panicking.

"When we used to argue, Max would grab me and restrain me, so I couldn't fight back, sometimes he made me face the wall, so I couldn't see when he was going to hit me, it hurt more when I didn't expect it, everything he did hurt me" I can't go into too much I feel sick thinking about all this, this is hard to explain far too hard.

"Wait, are you saying Jackson did this to you, and you like it? Why would you be with someone that is the same as Max? Alena you need to get out, he is abusing you, and you think it's love, just like you did with Max, you need to leave now!" She is angry, shouting at me, frustrated, she hasn't understood it at all, I need to make her see the difference.

"No! He hasn't hurt me, you're not listening, give me a chance to finish. The time in the kitchen, he laid me on my back, holding my hands above my head, I wasn't scared, I enjoyed it and only during sex" She looked at me trying to work out what I was saying.

"He had me pinned to the side at one point, so I couldn't move. I know if I had said stop he would have, this is going to sound a bit crazy, so don't freak out. He had me blindfolded and chained to the bed" Covering my eyes, I peek through my fingers at her, she looks shocked, she doesn't understand at all.

"Like I said, I knew he would stop, if I said to stop he would. I enjoyed it, it wasn't scary, it didn't hurt me, and it wasn't through hate or anger. I wasn't waiting for a smack or a punch like Max used to, I felt safe, like I could trust him 100%. Ever since I left Max, I felt that a part of me was missing, Maybe it's this? No, I'm not saying I want to be beaten again or forced into doing something I don't like, I mean with Jackson it's different, it's like love" She was still looking confused, how else can I explain it to her, so she understands?

"I'm trying to understand Alena, but it's hard. How can you think it's right after everything you went through with Max?" This is why I wanted to wait till tomorrow night, I knew she would take ages to understand.

"Okay, with Max, I didn't have a choice, he forced me and if I screamed he would grip me tighter and cover my mouth. With Jackson, he makes sure I feel safe, he doesn't hurt me, it's all for pleasure. Max abused me, controlled me, Jackson isn't I have a say and I enjoy it, Jackson isn't doing it out of anger or hate, he's doing it out of love" She looked like she was trying to understand me.

"Right, so it's only during sex? He's not doing it any other time?" She seems to want reassuring.

"Honestly Georgina, would I look as happy as I do now if he was the same as Max?" Questioning her, she looks at me, smiling as she shook her head.

"No, I haven't seen you this happy in years, so if this kinky stuff if that is what it is, is your thing, then why not" She realises finally, I hope anyway.

"But, I want to know about his business, like right now" She looked at me waiting, if I tell her she would tell Liam, and just like that Liam walked in, I shrug apologetically to her, grateful he was back.

"Who wants food? I brought you ladies some fish and chips" Liam smiled, carrying in the bags of takeaway. Sitting down, we ate, talking and laughing like we usually do, it feels nice, I have missed Liam, he has been avoiding me or, so it would seem, so now is a good time, just like before, before my birthday, before Jackson, before all the mess.

"Alena, I'm happy that you're with Jackson, you look really happy" Liam smiled, that is a shock, I never expected him to accept us that quick.

"Thank you, Liam, I am still sorry for hurting you though, but I am really happy with Jackson" Smiling at him, he smiled back, continuing eating.

"Are you not seeing him tonight?" He looked at me waiting for my answer.

"He's working tonight, so I'm staying here" I wish he wasn't, but I can't keep him to myself all the time.

"Ah, I would have stayed in tonight if I'd have known, I'm going out tonight, unless you girls fancy joining me?" Really, why does everyone want us to go out?

"No thank you, one night out was enough for me, this year, maybe next year" Laughing I winked playfully. I should have an early night, no doubt tomorrow will be a late one, filled with Georgina's questions that even I know I can't escape, I will need sleep for sure to deal with her tomorrow. I have to prepare myself, make sure I sleep because I won't be getting any until well after the sun comes up.

Lying in bed falling asleep, I feel myself relax. Darkness all around, the man screaming my name, running towards the sound I finally see his face, who is it why can't I make out his face. I should run away, I should because I always get hurt. Something hits me hard, screaming, I jolt awake again, sweating, this nightmare is starting to scare me now, looking at the clock it is only 2am, rolling over I try falling back to sleep, but I can't. Picking up the phone I send Jackson a text.

ME- "I can't sleep! I had an awful nightmare again; this place is too quiet help me fall asleep"

HIM- "Poor Kitten, you could always tell me about your fantasy again, this time in more detail, I would love to know all about it"

ME- "Too complicated to explain"

HIM- "Okay, so you want to be with another woman? So, you're clearly attracted to women then, is there a man involved in your fantasy?"

ME- "Sometimes, yes. But most of the time it's just me and another woman, I can tell it's different being with another woman just from the fantasy, I don't know how I just can"

HIM- "If you ever want to use my business to act out your fantasies, you're free to do so, you know it's 100% safe, I'm happy for you to use my personal room there if you would prefer so no one can see"

Not what I was expecting at all, his reply has totally thrown me, he really wouldn't be bothered if I slept with a woman while in a relationship with him? Lying here considering it would I agree, and could I really do it, the thought of doing it feels amazing yet at the same time I am not sure, I slowly fall asleep forgetting to reply to him.