alking into the apartment it feels so weird, I cannot help but smile at Georgina as she runs towards me. Her grip is so tight as she wraps her arms around me, I feel like crying why do I feel like crying?

"Finally! Come get dressed we are off out" She begins trying to pull me towards the bedroom. Realising I have my feet firmly planted on the floor so as not to move she turns back looking at me.

"What?" Her face looks confused, she should know what, it isn't that hard to know why I am refusing to move.

"How many times, I don't like going out and after last time can you blame me?" I look at her expecting her to nod and agree, instead she starts laughing, like I am crazy and missing something, clearly, I am if she thinks my response is funny.

"Clearly Jackson did not tell you then, we are all going out. To the student bar, they will be at the bar and we will be at the tables. Totally safe, then we can finally have a girly talk without you freaking out about what if's" 

Her response shocks me, I look back at Jackson he just shrugs his shoulders like it is nothing, why would he not just tell me what was going on? 

This explains him taking so long to get ready, Liam is already dressed and waiting and so is Georgina, so it is just me that doesn't know. Admitting defeat, I follow her, had they told me I would have just got ready at Jacksons then it would have saved a lot of time, she throws clothes to me, glad they are comfy and no dresses. 

A pair of jeans, white low-cut top, a bit too low cut for me and heels, it isn't a dress, so I won't complain. 

She quickly does my hair and makeup finishing I stand up, I look so different how is that even possible? Leaving the room, we walk back through to Jackson and Liam. I don't know what I was expecting but have to laugh, Jackson and Liam sat there arguing over the game they are playing. Why do we need to go out? 

Staying in would give us the chance for a girly talk, but I don't want to be fighting and arguing, so I will go quietly and try to enjoy tonight.

"Finally, I thought Jackson took ages to get ready" Liam begins to stand us laughing.

"No Liam, that was you" 

Jackson throws back laughing. Watching them is amazing, they have been through so much yet are still so close and know each other so well. 

"I am driving" 

Jackson announces as we began to walk out the door, no one arguing, although I think he should just let us get a taxi and have a drink, getting in the car I can't help but remember the drive with him and Roxy.

The thoughts of that drive begin flooding back through my mind. I can feel my cheeks growing red at the images that fill my mind. 

We could have walked, to be honest, it took one minute to get here, Jackson parking up the car. We get out and start walking out of the car park. I can feel myself relax, Jackson and Liam walking ahead of me and Georgina, I feel safe like I can enjoy myself. Getting into the bar Jackson orders drinks for us all. 

Standing with Jackson we wait for our drinks, taking ours I kiss him and walk off towards the tables, sitting down opposite Georgina. We don't say anything. 

With everything that has happened recently, where do we even start, it feels weird, knowing that so much has changed in so little time?

"You look happy, really happy Alena, I am glad you found Jackson. I will admit I felt jealous at first, but you seem to suit each other" 

She is being open about her feelings which rarely happens. I feel I need to be honest back, although I doubt it will make a difference what I say.

"Honestly, on my birthday looking at you and him, I knew I had no chance. At least I thought I didn't, I still don't understand why me? Out of everyone why me, I am nothing special and there are so many people that look hotter than I do" 

The words running around in my head as I realise the truth behind my words. Who was I? Just someone normal, nothing special so why did he choose me?

"Alena, do you have your eyes closed every time you look in the mirror? You may not be perfect like me in the flesh, actually I am not even perfect in the flesh, Inside you are though, you put your own life at risk to save Liam, I wouldn't have. You are beautiful, only certain people will see it. Those who don't are blind" 

I am shocked, this side of Georgina hardly ever comes out.

"I don't see or feel it, I don't think I am worthy at all of him, or life to be honest. Somehow though he makes me feel like I am worthy of living, just I don't think I will ever feel worthy of him" 

I don't understand it, and I doubt there is anything anyone can do or say to make me think I deserve him or anyone.

"You are though, you only think like that because of Max, because he made your mind believe you're not worthy and you don't deserve to be loved or live" 

I need to change the subject, it is something that makes me feel awkward, and I hate the thought of Max or talking about him still. I cannot believe I am about to ask this, but I need to change the subject.

"So honestly, what did you think of Seductive Vibrations?" 

I instantly regret asking, this is going to end badly.

"I won't lie, I think it is weird. I don't know, I can't really say as it is not something I myself would look into. Are you sure you are okay with it though? The fact he goes there and has used it before. At least I assume he has used it for his own pleasure before" 

She is being honest, and it is not as bad as I had expected, I was waiting for her judgmental opinion which I believed was disgusted with the whole business and disagreed with it.

"I understand, but yes, I am fine with it. He doesn't use it anymore and told me he hasn't in ages not since before Caroline anyway" I do wonder why he never went back. 

He stopped because of Caroline, once she left why didn't he go straight back there. Maybe he did just see it as a business and not really for pleasure, I need to ask him, I know he said it didn't feel right, but there has to be a reason he didn't feel right using it again. 

If less the didn't feel right was because he still loved Caroline and was hoping she would come back?

"While we are on the Jackson subject, time to spill, what happened that first night. Then, what happened the night Liam ran over his foot?" 

She is so giddy her eyes wide and wild her heart happy like a child's at the thought I finally have time to tell her.

"I don't really know. We were sat talking in the club, he offered to walk me home. Outside the house, I felt like I wanted him to kiss me and didn't want him to walk away. Obviously invited him in for a drink and everything was fine and normal" 

I explain, and she looks at me encouragingly that said keep going, this is hard, I don't speak openly about these things, but for her, I will try especially as she has been asking me since it happened for all the details.

"For some reason, the conversation stopped, and I felt like my whole body was being drawn into him. The hairs all over my body stood up!"

"So, I took the cups to the kitchen, hoping that it would sort my head out. I was wrong because the next thing I knew he was there. I felt drawn to him again, then he kissed me, and it was like I was drunk or intoxicated by him"

"Right, so he kissed you then what?" She is pushing for more information.

"You seriously want every bit of information?" I am not sure how much she wants to hear.

"Yes, well, no don't tell me all about the deed, but I want enough to know what the hell happened" 

She laughs, I have missed this and missed her, it is like we don't see each other anymore but also like we don't like together either.

"Well, that was it, he was kissing me, next thing I knew he had lifted me onto the kitchen side, for some reason, I couldn't stop unbuttoning his shirt, and couldn't wait to get it off him. You and Liam walked in. The end" 

I say it like a short story shrugging my shoulders like it was nothing, to me that Is the best I can give, I can't sit there and describe in detail how it felt unbuttoning his shirt and feeling his chest as I did.

"So, he just went for it? Were you just going to go straight for it? That isn't the Alena I know. What about the night Liam ran over his foot?" 

How many questions does she need to ask? 

Scrap that, that was the most stupid question ever this is Georgina we are talking about, so it is obvious how many questions she is going to be asking.

"Okay, yes, we just went for it, and I was willing to. You sound shocked when you have had a one-night fling yourself before" 

I don't understand how she is shocked, she has done it many of times, why is it a shock I would do it?

"As for the other night, we were talking at a local pub, for some reason I asked if he lived alone. I don't know why I think deep down I wanted him to say yes and ask me why. When he did I was shocked, I just said something like so there is no one to disturb us there" 

My mind playing the memory of that night, my shock that he said he lived alone and looked at me asking why.

"That was where it started, he drove us back to his. Made us a drink and I walked around the kitchen looking outside. It was beautiful, I was so distracted I didn't notice him coming up to me. Then it was like the first time. I couldn't think once his lips were on mine, all I could think was I needed to get his clothes off" 

It was perfect somehow that one time changed everything, made me want him more but most importantly I feel like I truly fell in love with him then somehow.

"You're a little Minx, he has brought out a good side in you though, you seem less withdrawn. So, I can't fault him for that. I can in the sense he seems to be a bad influence in getting you involved with his business. You look happy though, so that is the main thing" 

She smiles gently, and words escaping my mouth without me even thinking of giving permission for them to.