"How can we talk if you walk away and won't talk" I shout at him. He keeps going so I continue.

"Just talk, shout, scream anything! Don't just try acting like you don't care" This time he stopped, he turns and faced me walking back towards me slowly, my body backing up.

"You want me to talk? Fine I will talk, I feel sick when I look at you, thinking of you and him together. I look at you and all I can think of is how many times you were in my bed with him" 

His steps getting closer, my body moving back, this isn't Jackson.

"You want me to tell you, that you hurt me? Well, you fucking did, you want me to tell you that you disappointed me? Well, you did. You didn't even wait a year before getting in bed with my own fucking brother" 

His face was now in front of mine. 

"And now I am the asshole for saying it"

He turns and walks out the door, I stand shocked, what has happened to him? I have never seen Jackson like that, ever.

I sit here waiting for hours, I assumed he was okay, he told Liam he was glad he was here to look after me.

Now, why is he so hurt? I should never have kissed Liam I should never have stopped fighting for Jackson. Sitting I watch the door, my back hurting from the steps, but I still can't move, I fall asleep with my head against the wall waiting for him.

I wake up to Jackson looking down at me.

"I am sorry" His head fell, and I stare at him, why is he saying sorry, I feel like I messed everything up not him.

"You have nothing to be sorry for, I caused this not you. You told me the truth, surely that is better than trying to act like everything is fine and you were okay?" I look at him and sits on the floor.

"I didn't mean to shout, I didn't mean to talk to you like that. I was nasty, and disrespectful, I shouldn't have. This is my fault for not fighting to get out more. I said to myself that if you had met someone when I got home, I would accept it and if you wanted me back, I would forget what you did while I was away"

"I still see your face, you actually were scared of me, that is why I walked out, that face reminded me of the face you had when you told me about Max, and I did that to you" I don't know what to say to him, yes he scared me, but not for that reason.

"I wasn't scared of you in that way, I have never seen you angry, not like that, that is what scared me, I wasn't standing there thinking you were going to hit me, I know you wouldn't" he doesn't say anything, he clearly blames himself. I move and sit next to him.

"It is not your fault, it isn't my fault there is only one person to blame. He wanted to break us and right now he is succeeding" I think back to how all this was caused by Max, if he was watching he would be rubbing his hands together in glee thinking he has succeeded.

"I am sorry about Liam, I don't even know exactly why I did it. I felt lonely, like I had no one, he was there to comfort me. I thought I had lost you"

"I should not have though, and now there is not much I can do, but apologise" I wait for his response it is taking a while, but he looks up.

"Liam stepped up, he made sure you and our babies were looked after. He did a great job and to be honest, I don't blame you" He looks at his hands.

"I blame myself, and I always will, I wasn't angry at you, I am angry at myself. I love you Alena, and nothing will change that not even what you and Liam did. I just need to get that thought of you two out of my head" He shakes his head as if he is trying to remove the images he could see.

"Me and Liam were basically nothing, it was like 6 weeks, I was heavily pregnant and exhausted, so not much happened, when it did I couldn't stop thinking about you." 

"Afterwards, I felt guilty, like I was cheating on you even though you were dead. You weren't though, everything is the same, all your clothes, the rooms, even Georgina tried changing them and I said no, because deep down I never accepted that you were gone" 

Looking at him he stays quiet.

"Can we get through this? Jackson, I don't want to keep fighting if it is going to stay broken, I love you, but I can't go through another relationship where I feel like it is all my fault" 

I admit thinking back to my relationship with Max where every day him looking at me made me feel like all our problems were my fault. 

Maybe this is the end, maybe we can't get passed this no matter how much we try? He grabs me, pulling me to sit on him.

"Don't you dare give up on this missy. I certainly won't be, might take a bit of time to get over the messed-up years we have had but we have our babies, we have our lives and I don't want it without you" 

He pulled me to him kissing me gently, I can sense he is fighting demons that kept reminding him about me and Liam. I know now it would take time to get our relationship back to how things were meant to be.

"I think we should go to bed. Our first night off and we are sitting here on cold stairs talking, we can do that in a warm bed" He lifts me up and carries me up the stairs.

"I missed you Alena, I really did and just to see you was enough to make me want you" 

He kisses me before placing me on the bed. We cuddled together talking till late, I slowly fall asleep next to him and slept for what felt like ages waking up I was still lying in his arms. 

I wonder how we had got to this point, so much has happened in such a small time frame. Moving I cuddle closer to him, enjoying this moment as it never happens anymore. He smiles.

"Good morning baby" He seems in a good mood considering everything.

"Good morning Sir" I reply, looking up at him, I was hoping for a response, but I didn't get one, he just laid their eyes closed so I will stay quiet.

"We should move, my mum will be bringing the girls back soon" He starts moving to sit up I move so he can. I watch him get out of bed and walk towards the bathroom, turning the shower on.

"Want some company?" 

I smile, he just shakes his head and stepped into the shower, I need to slow down I am so set on trying to get him in bed I didn't think about anything else. 

Once he was out I got in, quickly washing, drying and getting dressed, walking downstairs Jackson was sorting through the baby bottles. His mum walked in carrying the two car seats, Jackson rushing over to her and grab them. 

You could see how much he had missed them last night, I stay back and watch, letting him take on the daddy role and cuddling them saying how much he missed them. 

Helen looking at us, she gives a small smile clearly knowing that things are bad. The day passed quickly, Georgina and Liam arrived back after staying out last night to give us space. 

We sat and watched a film till late, then went to bed. I jolt up in bed, shaking Jackson hearing the banging. He jumps out of bed running out the room, I sit here waiting, he came back shaking his head.

"I don't know what it was, all the doors are still locked, Liam checked as well, but there was definitely a bang" 

He sat up all night, unable to relax, every time I rolled over I opened my eyes and saw him sat there on edge. 

I assume something would have fallen and banged if the doors were locked, there was nothing to worry about.