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"I am going to go home to the girls, you stay here you can update me if anything changes, obviously Maria has gone home and finally get some sleep" 

I walked over to Marcus, kissing him on the forehead.

"Come on, I miss your awful, yet witty jokes, wake up, there is no one to tease me about the photos, wake up please, this hospital sucks really bad" 

I laughed turning to Jackson and kissing him before walking out. The next few days, we spent taking it in turns going to see Marcus I spent a lot of time with the girls, it was nearly their first birthday, so me and Georgina spent a lot of the time planning a party for them.

 Jackson away at the hospital, sometimes work, I was alone at home with the girls, sometimes Georgina was here with me, other times Liam, things where getting back to normal, almost expect Marcus still had not moved even though he had been breathing alone for a week. 

Sitting with the girls, feeding them, smiling at how life had thrown so much at me, yet I was still here. 

The past week, me and Jackson got closer, I began to feel safe again, like nothing had happened, every night he got back, I was waiting in the room for him, every night I waited and every night he came. He walked through the door, my head snapped up, he was early, way too early, he was smiling and happy.

"He is awake Alena" 

His arms wrapped around me, his body almost crushing me. 

"Guess what his first words where" I looked at him laughing, but couldn't help but feel happy, and grateful he was awake and talking.

"He isn't a baby Jackson" the way he said it was like when Katy or Isabella said their first words.

"I meant it Alena, guess" Rolling my eyes I laughed. 

"What were his first words Jackson?" I was unable to stop the smile on my face knowing I would see Marcus again.

"I took a bullet for you, and it would have been worth dying for" 

He had tears in his eyes, and the fact Marcus thought it was worth dying for was just amazing, all his worry for nothing, because Marcus would see it as a worthy cause to die for.

"He wants to see you though, I am not sure why, but he asked for you a few times" 

He looked at me, and it was clear he had no idea why either, it seems weird he wants to see me, he should ask to see his wife, Jackson and friends, not me, my mind trying to figure out why he would want to see me, but everything came back blank.

"I want to come with you, I don't feel ready to let you leave by yourself, so I will drive you and wait in the waiting room" 

He went to grab his coat, he can't come with me, he needs to see the girls, I would be perfectly safe alone. 

"Stay here, the girls have missed you, I will be safe, nothing can hurt me now" I smiled, before walking out and leaving him there. 

Driving to the hospital, my mind can't stop thinking about why Marcus wanted to see me alone? It made no sense, arriving at the hospital I walked to his room, he was sat up, no one was in the room with him, just him sat there alone, I walked in he looked towards the door, where I entered and smiled. 

It felt awkward, I started walking in, towards the bed, sitting down, unsure what to say so I just sat quiet, waiting for him to talk, my mind still bringing up ideas for why he wanted to see me.

"Hey you" He smiled and a awkward feeling spread across my body, I don't know what he was going to say, ask or want, and that put me on edge, a lot, maybe I should have let Jackson come with me.

"Thank you" 

His words confused me, I looked at him wondering why he was thanking me it should be me thanking him, he had saved me, he took a bullet for Jackson, was it not for him, me and Jackson would not be together today.

"I may have not been able to move, talk or respond but I heard, every day you and Jackson came, but mostly for what you did, it can't have being easy, going through what you did with Jackson and still staying, but it was you broken that pulled him back" 

Embarrassment flooded through me, this was not what I expected at all, just how much had he heard? 

The thought of him laid there, listening was scary, there was a reason I didn't feel comfortable talking about it in this room, with him here, now I know why. 

He shouldn't be saying thank you, he had saved me and Jackson, it is us who should be thanking him, yet he felt the need to thank me for letting Jackson break me.

I shook my head.

"I should be thanking you Marcus, you was the one who rescued me, you was the one who helped remove all the pictures and videos, even through all that not once did you look at me different, not once did you judge me, sure your mouth threw some messed up jokes, but they made me feel more comfortable knowing others had seen them" 

His smile so delicate. 

"How could I judge you Alena? It is part of life, some are into it some are not, to judge someone because of what they enjoy during sex is wrong." 

"Well, I am still grateful, for everything, for you coming to the house and helping us, for you keeping Jackson sane while I was missing, and for taking a bullet for him, I can't say I kept him grounded, I had never seen him like that before he changed a lot" 

I thought back to how he was the last two times in his playroom.

"What do you mean you never saw him like that before? How did he change?" I looked at him, wondering how much is too much, should I be discussing this with him? 

Then I remember he saw the videos, the pictures of me and Jackson, he has known Jackson years and knows him better than I do.

"He was a mess, screaming and crying uncontrollably, he wouldn't talk, he sat in the same spot for hours, he finally moved, and I tried everything to break him out of the shell, he blames himself for you being shot" 

My memories flooding back, him crying that he killed Marcus, not wanting to accept the fact he was not the one that shot him. 

"I thought dragging him to his playroom would help, but it was like he got lost more, his eyes black, everything about him changed, the first time I hated it, I was ready to walk away, I have never felt so degraded and hurt, well I did and it was with Max, the thought he made me feel like Max did scared me, but the other two times I enjoyed it, I really did" 

"It is just his eyes, they never seemed right, that first night, I honestly felt like I was being hunted, I felt if I said the safe word he wouldn't stop, he did but I left it too long"

"It just feels like I am missing something, a side of him I have never seen, a side that is wicked, nasty yet perfect, I don't know, he changed, something, somehow he changed, and he isn't like he was, that was the reason I feel like he won't stop one of these times if I say the safe word" 

The thought scared me, I knew though he would stop, he had stopped but, in that moment, I felt like he was lost beyond control.

"He would never hurt you, no matter what, I have seen him in that way before, after Katie, but for some reason, when it comes to people he loved, he is good at restraining himself, how he does it I have no idea, but at Seductive Vibrations one night after, I watched him, he wasn't the man I knew, but as soon as that Submissive said that safe word, he stopped, just like that"

"You know about his business, I didn't think anyone really know about them?" 

I looked at him confused and he laughed.

"Maria is very soft, gentle she is a certain type of lover, but I am like Jackson, so sometimes I need more, she agrees of course, if she said no then I wouldn't but she agrees to me using the business" 

I looked at him shocked, thinking of Maria the thought she gave up so much for him, including letting him sleep with others just amazes me.

"It is a pretty amazing place" I smiled remembering the times I have being there.

"It is, and rumor is you and Roxy enjoyed it as well" He winked at me and I laughed that was the Marcus I knew, back to his usual self.

"My wife and Roxy could be at it all day, I wouldn't care, I would be happy" He laughed.

"Maria is lovely, I spoke to her when I was here the other day, she seems so kind and gentle"

 I admitted thinking back to how quiet and cute she was, I find it hard to believe she would be so open, so willing to let him sleep with others, but she loves him, so I guess she would to keep him happy. 

"So, you wanted me to come, to say thank you?" I looked at him, wondering why he couldn't say that in front of Jackson, although it was nice seeing him and been ourselves without Jackson sat listening.

"No, not just that, Max came to see me" I felt my heart sink, wondering what he had being doing now.

"He was talking about pictures he has of you, when you was with him, if I mentioned this in front of Jackson you know what he is like, to be honest I would rather not tell you at all and wait and see" 

Wait and see what? What sort of pictures although I can already guess what sort.

"He said he wants you to go see him, otherwise he will get someone he knows to share them, but these pictures he said are not pleasant, ones where he abused you and your crying in pain, or hiding away afterward" 

I thought about what he was saying, what should I do?

"Let him, it is another game, another trick to drag me back in, I learnt my lesson the other day here with him, I won't be going near him again" 

I could not believe he came and asked Marcus to pass on a message, how is that right, how has he got the guts to do that knowing he shot him?

"You realise, if you weren't with Jackson, I would be trying to fuck you right, now don't you?" 

His words caught me off guard I looked at him shocked, laughing typical Marcus, always joking about anything that involves sex.

"That is the Marcus I know, welcome back" I clapped my hands laughing at him.

"Not joking, Jackson knows it himself, I told him, which I think is why he got a bit defensive when you said I was the hot one" 

I laughed remembering back to that, then I felt my heart pounding in my chest, palms getting sweaty, I can't stop staring at him the thought now in my mind, even my mind is telling me it would be a good idea, when I know it wouldn't be, I am with Marcus, No not Marcus, Jackson, what has he done to me?