Standing up, I started stripping, I grabbed the blindfold and put it on, naked I stood there in the corner waiting. My heart pounding in my chest, the sound of a drum counting down the seconds for me. 

"What do you want Alena?" 

His voice quiet, he isn't his usual self, normally when he asked that, he had humour there knowing that he knew what I needed.

"I want you, like before, I want you like we used to be, no pain, no worries" 

I stood waiting for his reply. 

"I am not sure that is a good idea, I hurt you, upset you and broke you, I saw your face, how much you hated me and yourself"

"No, don't think of it like that, if I say the safe word would you stop Jackson?" I hear him moving closer to me as I ask.

"Yes, always no matter what I was doing I would stop" 

"I promise, if you got too far, I will say it, I won't hold it in, I won't ignore the pain, the hurt, I will say it I promise" 

I knew I will, after the last experience, I wouldn't dream of waiting, I still feel awful, but I need this as much as him. 

I stayed standing still waiting, hoping that he would do something, I know there is a risk that he could hurt me, I also know that if he did hurt me, he would stop and not have meant it.

 So, standing here quietly, waiting hoping, that he would give me what I need and what he needs. 

His hands wrapped around my neck, the collar, slipping on, as he fastened it. 

"You can have everything Alena, all my stuff, my empire everything, to me it is like dirt without you, it is meaningless, you can have everything, if you just stay with me everyone leaves, I will just let you down, maybe you shouldn't stay" 

My mind was in shock by his outburst I removed the blindfold my arms wrapping around him, my hands trialing his jaw line.

"I don't want your stuff Jackson, I don't want your money, I don't want your business, you are enough I won't be leaving you and you don't let me down ever" 

We sat in bed talking for a while, I don't want to push him into anything, and right now talking seems to be helping.

"We really should show Georgina and Liam how grateful we are for everything, any ideas?"

 They have been amazing, and I feel like without them we wouldn't have survived the past year.

"I'm not sure, but I agree, they have been our support for months and we need to show them we appreciate it" 

We didn't say much more, just sat there listening to our own thoughts.

My mind plaguing me telling me what Jackson could be thinking, reminding me of last time we were in this room.

"I think I will go alone today to see Marcus, you can stay with the girls" 

Relief washed over me, it meant he was starting to deal with things the right way. I feel like with all this, all the mess we were missing time with our girls, they would be one soon, we had lost so much of our life, our first anniversary, birthdays everything. 

I watched as Jackson got up, my hand grabbing his pulling him back onto the bed. My lips kissing his passionately showing him my love for him, my lust, my need hoping he would realise he was important. 

He kissed back slowly my mind wanting him, his kiss changed it became fierce, hard and hungry, I feel like he was controlling my body with his kiss. He was slowly coming back to me, slowly giving in. 

His hand gripped my arms, pinning them above my head as his other hand trailed down my neck, his growls escaping his lips. 

The feel of his cock becoming harder, longer and stronger, his whole demeanor changed it was like he finally let go, let his true self out, I felt the panic rise inside me, was this what he was like the other day? 

All the time I thought he had giving me everything, I now realised he hadn't and could see why, his look was menacing, his eyes black, his stance scary and intimidating, his growls even frightened me. 

I'm not sure, if I would like what he was going to do, my mind telling myself to be ready, and if I have to then say the safe word don't hesitate, I want him, I really do I just have to be cautious. He wasn't the Jackson I knew, I don't know if it was now the real him I saw, or if it was just a mixture of everything. 

His lips touched my neck, the feel of his teeth biting down, moaning from the pleasure, I stayed still, letting him do as he pleased. He dragged me off the bed, across the floor and tied my hands to a bar, I stood facing the wall, naked waiting, my heart beating so fast it was like a hummingbird in my chest. 

He growled as the whip swung down, I screamed from the shock, enjoying the pain waiting for more, as the whip swung down again I heard the sound of the air around it, I screamed as it stung, not the amount to make me want him to stop, but it hurt slightly. 

He kept going, giving me no break, if it wasn't the whip, it was his hand, I was moaning from the pleasure, somehow what he was doing was the perfect mix, while some hurt, the pleasure masked the pain making me want more. 

I felt his cock pushing into my wet pussy, I moaned pushing backwards onto it, his hand grasped my hair pulling it hard, making me gasp from the pain, as he thrust inside me.

I can't move, one of his hands were wrapped around my waist, the other gripping my hair, I was bound by his own body, as he plummeted his cock inside me, harder and deeper each time. I began screaming, moaning, and trembling from the pleasure. 

He sounded frustrated, unable to relieve himself, pushing deeper and harder each time, his body trying to force him to cum but he was unable to.

"Fuck!" He screamed, pulling my hair harder, while his hips pounding faster and harder as he struggled to reach climax.

3 NUMB FROM PAIN

His body kept going, his pleasure stuck at the tipping point, no matter how hard he fucked me, it didn't seem to push him over the edge. 

Withdrawing himself, he grabbed the whip, swinging over my ass making me moan, I watched as his own hand stroked his cock, trying to force it to let him release, to let him pleasure himself, he kept going, whip after whip, while trying to get his cock to give in but nothing happened. 

I have seen him frustrated before, in the car, when he couldn't finish, I gave him a blowjob to help and it worked, this time though something tells me that it wouldn't work. I thought this was him coming back, but now looking at him, he was further away, he had switched off all emotions, and was free from the pain, which caused him to not feel the pleasure as much.

 His hands unclipped mine, dragging me to my knees by my hair, he pulled so my face bent up, his cock moving towards my mouth, I opened it slowly, letting him slip inside. 

I groaned as I felt the hardness, the pulsing of his cock, ready to explode but unable to. Running my tongue along it, I looked up at him, his eyes closed, head titled back slightly enjoying the feeling. 

I started to move faster, my mouth sucking more, as my tongue teased, I moaned against his cock, the thought that this was helping him, gave me pleasure.

My mouth working faster, as one of my hands gripped his balls the other had a tight grasp on the base of his cock, moving faster, and deeper, but all it seemed to do was make him worse, his cock getting harder, looking like it was straining. His hands, still in my hair, held my head in place, as his hips moving fast, like he was fucking me, just in my mouth, gagging me every time his cock pounding into my mouth. He kept going, growling as he tried to push himself over the limit but was unable to, his anger grew, not towards me but to himself, for being unable to pleasure himself fully. He gave up, pulling his cock out of my mouth and dragging me back up.

"What do you need? Whatever it is Jackson take it, take everything, I am offering everything, we can try again, I know what to do I won't hold back this time if I have to say the safe word I won't hold it in" 

His eyes looked at mine, his head shaking.