Picking up the blindfold, I kneel down and wait for him. My heart slowing as I do, my mind freeing itself of all the memories once again, yet I feel the pain, the pain of every hit, of everything Max did. 

Opening up hurt me more than I ever thought it would, and it is taking everything to stop myself from breaking down, I need Jackson and I need this right now. The sound of the door clicking, making me jump, I have not jumped in so long, I have not been shocked in ages, a sign that reliving it in my mind and words has broken me. 

The feel of the leather whip running across my shoulders making me smile. His hands guiding me up, standing I close my eyes, for some reason closing my eyes helps me relax more, even though it is dark with the blindfold. 

The feel of his hands removing my day collar, as he slips another one around my neck, the lead clicking onto it. Him guiding me with the lead, helping me lower to my knees.

"I want you on all fours, if you jump, I will use the crop on you Kitten, do you understand?" Nodding I understand then I remember I need to speak.

"I understand Daddy" Smiling the tear falls from my eyes, his hand stroking my back.

"Good" His hand continues to stroke my back. Lifting from the skin, nothing is touching me. Suddenly something frozen touches my back, I jump in response. The sting of crop hitting across my back where the ice was, telling me he noticed. 

The Ice sliding up my back to my shoulder, my body shivering and jumping from the sensation, the ice removed, the sting of the crop making me jump as It hits my shoulder. 

My body relaxing even more, the ice no longer on my skin, his hand stroking my back, suddenly the ice touches my nipple, jumping I yelp from the coldness, the crop hitting my nipple twice. Relaxing, I try to stop myself from jumping every time the ice touches my skin. The coldness against my neck making me want to jump, holding still he slides the ice down my shoulder and over my breast, staying still the whole time. 

He lifts the ice off me, the feel of him moving around to the front of me, has me wondering what he is doing now.

"Good Kitten" His words soft, his lips caressing mine.

Staying still I enjoy the kiss, his lips moving away from my mouth. The ice touching against my stomach, holding still as he runs it down my body stopping just before my clit. My body slowly tensing, but staying unmoved, once again his lips caress mine, and the ice lifts off. 

My body preparing for the ice to touch my clit next, he stopped there no doubt he will start there. Waiting the room stays quiet, just the sound of our breathing suddenly, the ice touches the sole of my foot, jumping quick from the coldness. The crop smacking down across my foot, jumping at the sensation he hits it again with the crop, my body trying to stay still. 

Clearly, I cannot predict where the ice will be next. Relaxing the ice presses against my neck, my body once again staying still, the feel of his hand stroking my hair as a reward. Getting lost in his touch, the coldness pressing against my clit making me jump and scream, as I do he removes the ice, the crap hitting my clit twice a slight moan escaping my lips. 

The ice slowly sliding up my back, stopping just before my neck. His hands removing the blindfold, then slowly pulling the black leather cat hood over my head. Kneeling in front of me, his lips gently press against mine once more, lifting his head back up, I slowly move forward, my tongue gently licking across his cock, teasingly tempting him to touch me. He stays still, turning I crawl across the floor, stopping at the bowl of milk, slowly lowering my head, I gently lick at the milk before crawling back to Jackson. 

Stopping I rub myself against him, settling on the floor in the fetal position, waiting for his next move, his hands stroke my head, getting up he moves, walking across the room, slowly I begin crawling after him, watching as he collects his instruments of destruction to use on me. Following him, I continue to crawl standing, he begins fastening the ropes onto the restraints above his head. 

Crawling around his legs, I stroke against him trying to get his attention, turning he shakes his head at me, dropping a roll of cotton on the floor. Staying down, I did what any good kitten would do, I play with the ball of cotton, while he finishes setting up. After a while he walks over to me, reaching down he helps me up. 

Guiding me across the room, he lifts my arms up, wrapping the rope around them.

"Kitten play is over" He walks around the back of me, trying to see him, the sting of his whip hitting my ass making me moan, my sex clenching up at the feel of it. "I have missed this whip" 

His voice low, the sting against my ass making me jump, once again, the feel of his hand trailing down my spine, my head tilting backwards at the feel of him.

"No blindfolds tonight, I want to be able to see your eyes" Nodding I look in the mirror, his arm raising high, the whip swinging down towards my ass, the sting making me jump. 

He holds the whip in one hand, his other reaching for the candle, my eyes watching in the mirror as it slowly drips down onto my shoulder, the heat feeling amazing. The whip swings down again, hitting across my ass making me jump, the moisture between my legs building. 

The candle dripping down on my other shoulder, my body tensing at the feel, the whip swinging again hitting my ass. 

Dropping the whip, his hand slides around the front of me, his fingers pushing against my clit, the candle dripping over my nipple, moaning I push my head back against him. "You can choose one thing, what one thing do you want Kitten?" One thing that I want for sure, while anything is possible on that list, what is the one thing I definitely want?

"Needle play Sir" He cocks his brow at my request, but doesn't say anything, turning he walks to the other side of the room, returning with the needles. Placing them behind me, he again rests his fingers against my sex, his fingers collecting my juices, as his other hand squeezes my breast. 

His mouth kissing against my ear, his fingers gently rubbing. Lifting his hand, the sight of my juices making me more wet.

"Once again Kitten, look at how wet you have made Daddies fingers, now it's time for you to clean them up, with that wicked tongue of yours" His hand raises, my mouth opening, as his fingers slide into my mouth, gently I suck against them tasting myself on his fingers. Once clean he walks round to the front of me, his hand gripping my chin, his tongue gently licking inside my mouth, teasing the bridge of it. 

Stopping, he lets go of my chin, has hand getting a needle ready, watching as he pushes it under the skin on my breast. My head going back, my body relaxing more, as he gets the next one, pushing it through my skin making them cross over. Standing back, he looks at it, walking back to me, his finger pushes down on the needles, a moan escaping my mouth, my legs going weak. 

Walking around to the back of me he picks up the whip, watching as he raises it, the whip swinging down fast, hitting against my ass making my jump. His hand once again gets a needle, watching as he pushes it through my skin on my breast, getting the other needle he crosses it over the other one. 

Looking at it, his finger rises, pushing down in the middle making me moan, once again my legs going from under me, the rope pulling on my wrists. Moving around the back, the whip swings again, the sting worse than before, his hand grabbing the lead, keeping it in a tight grip. Watching as he swings the whip down harder than before, my body throwing forward, as I scream, trying to get a control on myself. 

His whip swinging down again, my eyes following it was it hits against my ass, a scream escaping my lips, his grip on the lead keeping me in place. Moving forward, he walks around to the front of me, his hand grasping my breast, his mouth sucking hard on my nipple, his other hand pushes against the needles. My body exploding with the pleasure, trying to find a way to grip him and pull him to me. 

Lifting his mouth, he starts kissing down my body, his tongue reaching my clit, gently stroking over it. His hands wrapping around me, gripping my ass and holding me in place. His tongue moving faster and harder against my clit. Moans escaping my mouth, I just want to grab his hair and hold him there. 

His mouth slowly starts to trail back up again, his mouth stopping at my nipple, sucking it into his mouth, his hand grasping the breast again, as his fingers push against the needles. I have no choice in it, the orgasm rises and pushes me straight over the edge. 

No time to fight it off, moaning I push my breasts closer to him, my body relaxing as the orgasm disappears. Holding me against him, his warm body radiating and making me feel safe. His hand gently teasing my ass with the toy, slowly sliding it inside my body instantly relaxing, my juices running faster at the feel. His hands unfasten mine, pulling me down to my knees, my mouth opening waiting for his cock. 

Pushing it into my mouth, my tongue starts teasing and licking, every part I am able to as I moan. His hand grips my hair, holding my head in place, his hips moving faster and hard, as his cock pushes deeper into my mouth. 

His hand swings down, the crop hitting against my back. His own moans of pleasure rising as he pushes deeper inside my mouth, his crop hitting down once again against my back. His grasp on my hair stronger, the feel of my scalp burning, moving back, he pulls me up, walking over to the chair, I get into position, his hands strapping my arms and legs down, his mouth slowly kissing up my leg, his hand pushing the toy into my sex, the vibrations starting instantly. 

His fingers push against the needles, a moan escaping my mouth as he does, his hand hitting down against my nipple. 

Slowly placing the nipple clamps on them, squeezing them till they are tight, as he places one on my clit, the tightness making me moan. Turning he grabs the knife, slight panic rising within me, the tip of the blade slowly scratching down my arms, not enough to cause bleeding, yet the feel of the metal and scratching feels amazing. 

Lifting the knife, he does the same on the other arm, the scratch from the shoulder all the way down. "Okay?" Jackson looks at me, nodding I agree.

"Yes, totally fine" He smiles at my confirmation, the knife pushing slightly harder as he pulls it down my arm, a few faint spots of blood showing, it isn't hurting, it feels like a scratch, the needles and whip caused more pain. His other hand grabbed the ice, rubbing it down the scratch a moan escaping my lips, as the toys continue to vibrate. 

Reaching the end of the scratch, the crop hits hard against it, as I moan, placing the knife between my breasts, he gently pushes down. Pulling the knife across my skin, down to my naval, my body tensing with pleasure as he does, his other hand follows with the ice, the coldness against the cut feels amazing, reaching the end of the trail, his crop hits hard against me again. 

Placing the knife down, his mouth lowers, his tongue gently running across the cut, reaching the top his teeth bite down. His hand grips the toy, moving it in and out of my sex, pushing it harder and quicker, the vibrations on my clit making me moan. 

His hand moving faster and harder, his other hand gripping my neck, his eyes watching mine as he pushes me to the edge of a orgasm and then stops, his hand pulling the toy out of my sex, slowly unfastening me, his hands pulling my up, my arms fastened above my head again, my legs placed in the spreader bar facing the wall. 

His hand removing the butt plug from my ass, throwing it to the side, he pushes a toy into my sex, his hand pushing it in and pulling it out. Moaning I feel the orgasm rising again, his cock pushing against my ass, my body trying to push back against him, but I can't. The restraints holding me in place as his cock slowly slides in. 

Teasing me going slow, his hands wrapping around the front of me, squeezing my breasts, his hips thrust hard, I scream as he pushes deeper inside me. His fingers pushing against the needles, as his hips move faster and harder, the toy in my sex still vibrating, moaning I feel my legs go, the rope holding me up.

 His fingers pushing hard against the needles, as his cock continues to push deeper and faster in me, moans escaping my mouth as he pushes me over the limit, my whole body relaxing. Grasping me hard, he removes the spreader bar, unfastening my hands. Pulling me to my knees, his hand grips my hair, pushing his cock into my mouth, my tongue gently teasing it as his hips thrust hard, his other hand grasping the base of his cock.

 The feel of it pulsing indicating he is close. His hips moving faster and harder, his hand grabbing my hair harder, a moan escaping his lips, pulling his cock out of my mouth, his juices squirting on my face as he does. 

Leaning down he kisses my lips, his finger gently stroking some of his juice off my face, his finger sliding into my mouth giving me a taste. 

Kneeling, he wipes my face, then slowly starts removing the needles and everything else off me, his hands gently stroking my skin as he does. Lifting me up he carries me to the bed, lying down his hand gently strokes across my skin.

"Are you okay?" His voice quiet, looking up to him, I can see the concern in his eyes.

"Please don't, don't worry every time you touch me or after if you have hurt me like that, you never do and never have" I can't stand the thought that now, at the back of his mind he will be thinking of Max and if what he is doing now hurts me.

"I will always be concerned Alena, always no matter what happens I will be concerned, it isn't a bad thing, I care about you so of course I will be concerned" I can in a way understand what he means.

"Okay, but don't worry about me too much, I know the safe word, I know how to stop you and I know you will stop. I can't stand the thought of you constantly thinking if you're hurting me, that is one of the reasons I never spoke about it before"

 His hand stopped stroking me, turning he looked at me.

"No matter what Alena, there will always be a part of me that wonders if I have hurt you. It is the way I am nothing will change that, but you telling me about Max, does not make it worse" His hand continues stroking against my skin, gently gliding over the fresh marks.

"Anyway, thoughts, likes, dislikes tell me what you thought of that" 

Now is the time to talk, about what I thought and what I would have changed if anything. The time after us been in this room, is just as important as during and before. Thinking back, I go over everything, and try deciding what I liked and disliked. 

To be honest I liked everything, but I can't say that, I know Jackson and know he will want details not just I like everything.

"Well, I enjoyed everything, but as much as I liked the crop, I would rather it was more like a punishment for a real kitten. A kitten does something wrong, they get a quick squirt with water, I would rather be treated like a real kitten" 

Trying to think of what else I can say to him, about the whole scene.

"Maybe more pins? Honestly there was nothing wrong, maybe just more next time" Smiling at him, what more I don't exactly know myself, so he needs a miracle for that one.

"You always want more, no matter what, even after Marcus and Demetri you wanted more. I think the whole more is your fantasy, the fact you have not done it, it's always in your mind making you think that something is missing during these scenes" 

Could he be right? Even if he is though, I don't feel anywhere near ready for it yet, one thing I do know though, is I want Marcus there no matter what.

"Maybe you are right, no matter what it is always at the back of my mind, no matter how much I try to ignore it. I am not ready though, nowhere near ready" I know within time, Jackson will help me get there, him and Marcus will help me get there.

"I know you're not ready, that is not something you can just rush into, anyway how are you still awake? Wide eyed, bushy tail and all" 

Total honesty, that is what I need to do right now, we had agreed that we need to be honest, open and tell each other everything, minus Max and things like that, so I can't lie about this.

"I kind of snuck one of your pills, I didn't want to fall asleep and not give you the whip" 

A cheeky smile on my face, trying to assure me that if I did that he would laugh it off, tell me not to do it again and move on. I was wrong, he is shocked and looks angry right now.

"Are you crazy? They are ones we take on a mission when we know we can't sleep, sometimes I would be up for nearly forty-eight hours with just one Alena!" 

His head lowers to his hand, shaking his head at me as he sighs at me, okay maybe I was wrong about how he would react. All they are, are energy pills, not like I took something illegal.