"We're almost there, Seokjin! Keep your eyes open!

We're almost at the hospital! Just stay with me. Stay with me!"

Namjoon folded Seokjin's legs beneath his arms and carried him into the emergency room, feeling his body was shaking severely out of fear and angst. He had just gotten home from work and started to call out to Seokjin, but when he found a bloody knife on the table, he began to worry and ran around the apartment, only to find his lover was lying on the floor with his wrists slit open, spilling out with blood.

His own heartbeat was spiraling out of control when handing the man over to the nurses.
The amount of questions they made him were questions he himself couldn't answer, and the more questions they asked him, the more crucial Seokjin's condition grew.
When they wheeled him into the emergency room, Namjoon ran inside with the paramedics and kept on holding onto his hand, repeating the same words over and over again to Seokjin: "Don't leave me." As if the man's unconscious mind was able to hear him.

Moments after they brought him into the emergency room, the doctors all fought to save Seokjin's life, once more. Now, it was far more complicated than before, since he had lost a lot of blood throughout  Namjoon found him, therefore, he had been bleeding out for hours.

They hooked him onto machines to monitor his heartbeat, which was beating at a very fast pace, since his body temperature was decreasing from the lack of blood and oxygen within his bloodstream.

His condition was worsening by the minute, and the group of medical workers were scattering all around, trying to stabilize Seokjin's abnormal palpitations, but the patient wasn't showing signs of life.

~~~

“I'll call you back, the doctor is coming my way.” Namjoon stood up, almost instantly, when noticing a male with a lab coat and a stethoscope was walking towards him with no expression on his face, whatsoever. Only a blank, motionless stare, that sent chills throughout Namjoon's entire body.

Expecting good news, the man had hope in the medical team saving Seokjin's life, just like they did the first time.

"Namjoon, can I speak to you in my office for a moment?" The doctor's sudden question was very unexpected, but Namjoon followed him without hesitating or asking him the reason behind it. To Namjoon, the man was just going to talk to him about Seokjin's current status, or ask him about what happened to him, which he himself couldn't even find the correct answer as to why or how Seokjin slit his wrists.

A brief moment of silence inhabited the small office as the doctor folded his hands together and stared into Namjoon's eyes. The younger looked concerned, but he noticed the amount of hope in his eyes. Such hope only meant that Namjoon trusted him in handling Seokjin, as he himself placed the man in his hands, and begged him to save his life.

His confidence overthrew the doctor, and increased the heaviness in his heart, when clearing his throat to hand Namjoon over a paper.

"Do I have to sign this for you to release him from the hospital, Doctor?" Namjoon questioned, hoping for a clear and sincere answer from the older male this time.

"Not quite, Namjoon. Read the paper, please." Namjoon flipped the blank page over, reading it step-by-step.

"I need your permission to sign this." He acted normal, but on the inside, the doctor felt disappointed and his heart ached terribly, when having to hand Namjoon a paper that contained a lot of responsibility, regarding Seokjin's condition.

Namjoon analyzed the paper, and noticed the word "Certificate" written at the top,
along with a lot of other words that he couldn't understand or comprehend.

"Why are you giving me this, doctor? How is Seokjin doing?" His persistent asking gave the doctor no other option but to tell him.

"I know how you acted the last time Seokjin's heart stopped in the operating room-"

"YES, I'm very aware of that. Please don't bring that old topic back. Change the subject and please, answer me once and for all, doctor." His attitude might have come off as rude to some people, but to the doctor, Namjoon's attitude towards him was perfectly understandable.

"That old topic has to do with this new one, Namjoon. I wanted to tell you... But this is hard for me to say." Namjoon stood up.

"He isn't dead, right?" His eyes began to sparkle as tears threatened to spill out of them.

The doctor lowered his head, afraid of telling Namjoon the truth. But the younger man was growing impatient and frustrated, so he had to let him know the truth about Seokjin's current status.

~~~

"I've never done this in my life, Seokjin."

"What, run away with some dude's twin brother?"

"Been so crazy in love."

~~~

As if a flash of light pierced through Namjoon's eyes, the man found himself covering his face from the brightness within the room he was in, pacing around each corner. The scent that roamed around, filled up in his lungs, suffocating him. It was a scent that he had last inhaled at his father's wake.

The last ceremony he had thought was the start of his endless sadness and tears, but Namjoon still hadn't met Seokjin at that time. Now that he had, he realized that he still had tears left for him to shed.

He just didn't do it. Instead of attending the ceremony, Namjoon drove away. His car kept on signalling that it was low on fuel, but the man conducted his engine through a mesmerizing sunset, that was nothing but a ball of fire, blinding human beings, to him now.

Ever since that day, Namjoon lost his zest for life. The metaphors he used to have.

Projects.

Friends.

Family.

Upcoming events.

Hope.

Love.

Namjoon stopped following his dreams.

He stopped believing he could reach his goals.

Stopped working.

His company? He sold it.

His hard work? Gone to waste.

"Seokjin... Ever since you died, I realized that my life really doesn't revolve around my job.
My business isn't my life, or my responsibility 24/7.
I also remembered something I had forgotten ever since I became the owner of Volt's Edge:

I'm a human being, not a machine that's built to only work.

I learned to live again because of you. Because of how easy and careless you lived your life, you taught me how to live mine as well as cherish it.

You know what else you taught me? You taught me to be myself. I finally admitted it to everyone, Seokjin. I told them about my sexuality and that I was in love with you. I kept the rest of our experiences together, a secret.

No one needs to know about the passion that blossomed within us that night at my house.

No one needs to know why we arrived late at my job that day because of Gemini.

No one needs to know how much I loved you...

And no one will ever find out how broken I am, thanks to you.

All that I can hope now is that you're happier. And that wherever your soul decides to travel to, I hope it can eventually meet up with Hyunseok's... And if you meet my father,
let him know how happy you made me.

If forgetting you isn't an option, is forgiving you one? Because between you and me... I don't think I'll ever forgive you for leaving me.

You taught me to love you, tell me how am I supposed to reverse the love I once gave you.

How can I when you took all that I had left in me?

Seokjin, is this how you felt when losing Hyunseok?

I have so many questions, and you can't even answer a single one of them... "

Namjoon closed his eyes for a moment, and in the blink of an eye, a truck driver lost control of his vehicle and headed towards Namjoon's.

Namjoon gripped onto the steering wheel, feeling the impact of his body being crushed by each shard of glass that pierced through his skin, ripping it to shreds, leaving blood all over the seat.

Before shutting his eyes, Namjoon squinted enough to noticed a man was right beside him.

"Seokjin..."