Caoilainn

I roll out of bed leaving Tadhg sleep and pad over to the bathroom. I wince and cover my eyes reflexively and then slowly pull my hand from them as I adjust to the sudden brightness of our bathroom light.

I lean forward over the counter of the sink and stare at myself in the mirror.

Ug.

Are the dark rings under my eyes ever going to lighten up? I've been so tired these last few months. Between Tadhg's injury, waiting for him to be home and now living with all that it means for both of us, sleep has not been kind to me.

I blow a raspberry at myself in the mirror and turn to sit on the toilet. I  let my mind wander aimlessly as I take care of necessity. Before wadding up some toilet paper I run my hands down my face and groan inwardly.

I forgot to bring the basket of clean towels from downstairs up to our room last night.

Dammit.

Standing up to flush the toilet, I close the lid and turn to walk towards the door. Peeking into our dark room, I stick my head out and ask Tadhg if he can bring me some towels for after my shower.

I hear him turn in his sleep and mumble something barely coherent back to me. I think he said he'd get them for me, though, so I turn and head to the shower, moving the curtain aside so I can spin the dial to hot. Getting inside, I lose myself in the steam and wash away the sleep from the night before.

Tadhg

The shower runs in our bathroom and I turn to look at the door loathingly.

The last thing I feel like doing is getting out of bed. I'm comfortable and there's a pocket of just enough warmth to keep my body from wanting to leave the confines of the blankets.

My therapist has been telling me that I have to work on being considerate of Caoilainn more, however, so I begrudgenly turn and get out of bed. Finding my shorts on the chair next to our bed, I go through the morning routine of putting them on. Since half of my body is foreign to me, it's like wrestling cats, though I'm getting a little better at it.

Thankfully, my short term memory troubles are starting to improve. I still have them but not as bad as before.

Fastening the button at the top of the zipper, I then itch at the hair on my chest and yawn. I scratch my head and try to focus on getting myself out of our bedroom without hitting anything. I'm happy when I make it downstairs without stubbing my left toe or whacking my left elbow on a door jam or a piece of furniture. I make my way to the laundry room and movement catches my eye from our sliding glass doors.

Forgetting the towels, I walk closer to get a better look. There are sparrows and robins in our lawn. It rained last night. They must be hunting for breakfast. I smile at the sight of them and just as I start to turn away, I see a blue jay land on a nearby tree. He's beautiful. They say they're good luck, as well as symbols of an early marriage in life. I did marry Caoilainn young so there you go.

I turn towards the kitchen and realize I have forgotten why I'm down here. What was I supposed to be getting?

Crap!

I was just saying to myself that my memory is improving and here I am standing around like an idiot without a clue as to what I should be doing.

I see my therapy journal on the table and walk over to it to flip the pages. Maybe the answer's in it.

I'm turning pages when I find the most recent entry. I'm surprised to see the note I've written is about Caoilainn. Reading it, I realize that I've been speaking with my therapist about the importance of doing for others and for seeing things from their point of view.

With the right hemisphere damage to my brain I often lose my sense of perspective. I see things easily from my own point of view, needs and desires, but often can't appreciate other people's. I'm trying to work with my therapist to rectify this, though, especially with Caoilainn.

One way we planned to tackle this issue is to have me intentionally do something nice for Caoilainn. By my notes, we had written a plan out for me to make Caoilainn breakfast in bed. I frown as I look up at the ceiling. I can hear the water running. Caoilainn's already up. It's too late to bring her breakfast in bed.

I can make her breakfast for after her shower, though!

Yes!

I'll do that.

I look around the kitchen for ideas, paying special attention to the numerous notes written by Caoilainn, reminding me to look to the left of things.

I open our cabinet and refrigerator doors. When I see blueberries and eggs, an idea forms in my mind and I smile.

It's been a long time since Caoilainn and I have shared some of her grandmother's Irish blueberry pancakes. I may not have the greatest short term memory, but Mrs. McKittrick taught me well. I can still remember the way she made her pancakes thick for us so many times over the years.

Pancakes it is!

Caoilainn

Before sliding the shower curtain over, I squeeze the ends of my wet hair behind my back, letting the excess water run down it and into the drain. I step out of the tub onto our bathroom rug and go to grab a bath towel from the hooks before I realize that I had forgotten them.

Shoot!

A draft hits my wet skin and I leap back into the warmth of the shower stall. Calling to Tadhg, I wait anxiously for him to bring me some towels to cover up with. I'm starting to get cold. All the comfy heat from my shower is starting to evaporate.

Cursing at Tadhg's non-response to my hollering, I peak out of the curtain and look around for anything I can use to cover myself.

Tadhg' button up shirt is laying on the floor in a ball. He must've taken it off last night and left it there before he went to bed. Seeing no other options, I jump out of the tub and run over to grab it and put it on.

Finger-combing my hair, I run out of the bathroom and down our steps to go to the laundry room.

Tadhg

I've been working with my therapist to use my left hand more often. It's a slow process, but I'm getting better. It's not that I can't use it. It's that I have to remember it's there. I have to work on putting it to use as much as I do my right hand.

This morning, while making the pancake batter, I decided to hold the mixing bowl in my left hand while adding ingredients and stirring them with my right. It doesn't take much effort to hold it. Still, it's a good first step to try.

When Caoilainn runs into the kitchen, half-naked, dripping water down and over her bare feet and thighs, however, I lose my concentration. The eggs I'm cracking into the bowl miss the inside rim and fall with a wet smack onto the floor at my feet. Surprised, I drop the bowl on our countertop and accidentally knock two more eggs onto the floor as well.

Caoilainn stops to stare at me.

The shirt she's wearing isn't fastened. I can see the swell of Caoilainn's breasts and everything else as the water droplets make their way slowly down to her belly button. Despite the fact that my feet are splashed in egg wash, I'm at a loss for words.

A slow grin starts to form on Caoilainn's face. "What're you doing?" she says coyly.

"I'm uh...I'm making you pancakes. The kind your grandmom...uh, Caoilainn, what are you doing?" I ask her, distracted by the way she's moving her hips as she walks towards me and grabs a blueberry from the cardboard pint box.

Caoilainn pops one into her mouth and exaggerates her movements so that I can see her sucking on the blueberry's tartness. When she closes her eyes to swallow the berry she licks her lips and moans, running her hand down her stomach. Then she opens her eyes and looks at me. "I was waiting for you to bring me some towels."

A lightbulb goes off inside my head.

That's what it was!

I knew I forgot something.

"I'm sorry, Caoi," I start to tell her. "I forgot. Again. I was going to and then-"

I'm cut off, though, by the evil look in Caoilainn's glance. "You're up to something, Hellcat." I know this look. I may not be able to pick up on other people's cues like I used to, but I know this look as well as I know how to breathe. "What are you thinking?"

Without answering, Caoilainn moves forward and grabs an egg. "Caoilainn..." I start to say, stepping back before bumping into the sink behind me. "Don't you dare."

My protest goes unanswered as she steps forward and smacks the egg on my head. "I can't believe you just did that! You're SO dead!" I holler at her before pouncing forward to grab an egg of my own.

Caoilainn shrieks before running around the other side of the island away from me. She lashes out to grab another of her own eggs as I put my hand on my head to remove a glop of goo from it. "This is war. You know that."

"Oh, yeah," she laughs. "You gotta catch me first, Tadhg."

We run around the kitchen slamming eggs on one another. At some point, Caoilainn grabs a hand full of pancakes flour and tosses it at me. I instinctively close my eyes to keep it out and that's when she makes her move, charging forward to bean me with another egg.

She's not quick enough, however and I manage to snake my arms around her exposed waist. "Now I've got you A rúnsearc. You're so in for it." I drag her over to the sink and turn the spray nozzle on her. Cold water hits her on the head and she yelps.

In seconds, we're laughing and hooting at ourselves and our completely destroyed the kitchen. Then I reach under her arms and tickle her. She is gasping for release, squirming like a wet eel. "Tadhg! Oh my goodness! Let me go!"

Unlike all those years ago, however, when I get on top of her and react, I don't bounce backwards. I lean forward and crush her mouth with my own. Enraptured, she answers my passion, rubbing some blueberry goo off of my shoulder as she does. Before long, I've got her flipped on top of me and she's doing things with her hips and my body that Bisquick never included in their recipes.

Afterwards, laying on the kitchen floor with Caoilainn in my arms, I reach up and move her wet, slimy bangs out of her eyes and laugh. "You know. I have a confession to make."

Caoilainn laughs. "What's it about?"

"You," I say with a smile.

"Me?" she asks, surprised.

"Yeah. Remember the last time we did this?"

"What, made pancakes?" she says.

I shake my head. "No. The last time we made a rip-roaring mess trying to do so."

Caoilainn looks at me confused but then I see her eyes clear when she remembers. "At my grandmother's?"

"Uh-huh. That day in her kitchen. When I spilled the eggs and blueberries on her floor, you remember?"

"How could I forget? You were a wreck that day, too," she laughs.

"Hey, you helped! Wearing that little skirt. I lost my train of thought when you bent over to grab something out of your grandmother's fridge!"

"What? Tadhg, really?" she says, blushing.

"Yes, really," I reply. "I think that was the first premonition I had of falling for you." I roll my eyes. "You have no idea what you did to me that day."

The corner of Caoilainn's mouth crinkles up in disbelief. "So, I wore a skirt. Big deal, it's not like-"

I cut her off. "Oh, you did more than wear a skirt that day. When we were wrestling around on the floor I felt the same way then that I do now. I had to move away from you as quick as I could so you wouldn't notice. It freaked me out."

A gleam comes into Caoilainn's eye that can only mean one thing.

"You knew! You knew, didn't you?" I say, shocked that she never told me.

Caoilainn blushes again and smiles.

"Well, I didn't know that, exactly. But, I kind of knew something."

I look at her with one eyebrow raised. "You little Hellcat. You twisted me up in your little web right from the start didn't you?"

Caoilainn leans forward and licks my lips, snagging my bottom lip and tugging lightly on it.

"Oh, Tadhg, I wanted you that day, too. I wanted you to kiss me then, but I was too scared to show you."

"Well, I have you in my arms now, don't I?" I ask her, leaning down to nuzzle her neck. "And I am never letting you go."

"Good," Caoilainn replies.