11: "Hearts will be skipping beats, pulses will be sky rocketing."
Elizabeth's POV
I finished the soup. It actually felt like it might stay down, and Justin was now lying on my bed with me. There was no sound in the room and neither of us spoke a word. My eyelids were feeling heavy but I was fighting to stay awake since I didn't want to miss any time with Justin. I knew that it wasn't that big of a deal that he was here because he had been here before with me, but this time was different. Something in me made me want to take the time and just enjoy it.
Justin held me with one arm around my torso and the other tucked under his head. My head rested on his chest, it rising and falling as he breathed. The sound of his heart beat lulling me further into the waiting sleep. I looked at his face and he seemed to be thinking deeply about something.
His expression worried me slightly; I had only just accepted my feelings for him so I didn't want anything getting in the way of finally being with him. I leaned my head up and kissed his cheek lightly, smiling as he looked down at me. A small smile on his face, "If you're sleepy then you can go to sleep I won't leave unless you want me to," he said reading the exhaustion on my face. I smiled again as he leaned down pressing his lips to my forehead, "Sleep," he whispered into my ear. He began to hum lightly; I placed my head back down and listened to his heartbeat and humming closing my eyes and drifting off to sleep.
Justin's POV
I was fighting with myself on if I should ask her. Part of me believed that it was none of my business, but the other part wanted to know so bad that it was killing me.
Elizabeth stirred in my arms and I felt her place her lips to my cheek. As I looked down at her, I couldn't keep the smile from my face. I could tell she was worn out from being sick and she was on the verge of falling asleep right there. "If you're sleepy, then you can go to sleep. I won't leave unless you want me to," I said leaning down and pressing my lips to her forehead, felling a slight fever still. I could see the protest in her eyes, knowing she didn't want to give into the sleep, "Sleep," I whispered quietly into her ear and began to hum a random tune that had been stuck in my head for a while now. It wasn't much of a real song yet, just notes that my mind strung together.
I waited till I was sure she was asleep to take my eyes off of her. I looked back to the ceiling fighting with myself again. I told myself that it didn't matter what happened between them because she was mine now and it wouldn't happen again if anything did in fact happen.
I sighed to myself, I couldn't keep her from seeing him if she really wanted to, but I could keep her from being alone with him. I took a deep breath trying to clear my mind and focus only on the feeling of her breathing and the subtle feeling of her heartbeat.
I closed my eyes and let my mind wander to more happy things. Things like the girl I now held in my arms and how things would finally get better for the both of us. She was so much stronger then she thought she was, and I knew that she would realize that soon she just needed the time to distance herself from her mistakes and give herself time to be happy.
My mind goes from thinking i have logic to "joiealhrngerkdjshnvlkzjhdnsf". It kind of sneaks up on you. I get to see Elizabeth, and all of a sudden i find yourself wanting to see her more, and I'm not entirely too sure why. Just something about her makes me smile. I talk to her as much as i can, or you at least try to, but to be honest sometimes I find myself at a loss for words. It's because she's gorgeous; I literally lose every thought in my mind. The only words I can muster in my mind are "wow! this girl" and I WANT to tell her.
But I know it's not the right time, and I'm worried I'll just scare her off. I think that for a number of reasons... She could have been hurt in the past by a guy and I don't want to be associated with him by a stereotype, Elizabeth could not be interested in me and think I'm creepy, the usual stuff. As I talk to her more and more and time passes by. Days. Weeks. Months. However long it takes...I find my days strange if you don't talk to her. She's on my mind all the time. Everything from "man I wish she was here" to "I can't get over how beautiful her eyes are, I see them every time I close mine."
Then next thing i know I'm with her, and my heart starts racing as i begin to get shaky. I don't want her to see my hand trembling, but in front of everybody I physically flirt a little to test the waters. And then I look into her eyes, just to see if she's just as nervous as i am and at that point, it's fair to say I've fallen for a girl.
Maybe not totally gone off the ledge, fallen in love. But she's definitely going to be almost every thought i have. And every moment I'm not with her, I'm going to wish I was. And if I'm lucky enough to reach the point where she starts taking my hand first? Good luck son. Heart will be skipping beats. Pulse will be sky rocketing. Words may even stutter. I guess what I'm getting at is, a girl is kind of like an addiction.
Not in a bad way (most the time). But once one catches your attention you can never get enough of her. You want more. You want to see her more. You want to hold her more. And above all else you want her to smile more because all of those things, they give you a rush you just can't replace.
My mind drifted off and I soon found myself asleep. I woke-up a few hours later. Her room was dark no light but the subtle blue of the moon. I took my phone off her bedside table and looked at the time. It was 12 AM. Great. I forgot to tell my mom that I was even here, she was probably worried sick.
Elizabeth moved over, giving me room to move my arm and get off the bed. I went to the hall way and called my mom. "Justin where are you?" she asked sounding worried and mad.
"I'm at Elizabeth's, I came over after school because she was sick and her mom is out of town. I sorry I forgot to call, we fell asleep." I told her sincerely. I really did forget to call, and we really did fall asleep.
"OK." She sighs over the phone, probably feeling much better that I had called. "Don't let it happen again. Are you going to stay the rest of the night?"
"Yes mama." I started. "If that's alright with you. She's still asleep and I don't feel right leaving her alone."
"OK yes that's fine. Do you want me to bring you some clothes?"
"Please if you could, I need to change." I said, my mother always knew what to say.
"OK I'll be over in a few minutes." And with that, she hung up.
I lied about Elizabeth's mother being out of town. Truth was I didn't know where she was I just knew she wasn't home, and Elizabeth didn't like being home alone. I shook my head a little; I opened her bedroom door and saw she was still asleep. I on the other hand couldn't sleep anymore; I closed the door quietly and made my way down the hall to the living room.
I took a seat on the couch and turned on the TV. A few minutes later I heard a car pull up and a knock on the door. I opened it seeing my mom who looked rather tired, but still she managed to smile as she handed me my bag.
I gave her a hug and whispered, "Thank you." not many mothers would allow their son to stay at his girlfriend's house while her mother was out, but she knew Elizabeth and she knew that we wouldn't take advantage of a situation like that.
I talked to my mother about everything that went on with us, well to a point. I didn't tell her about Elizabeth's cutting but then again, that wasn't my secret to share, but she did know that Elizabeth and I were now together and that I cared for her a lot.
When I first told my mother about it, she smiled and said that she always saw it happening she was just waiting for it. I released my mom from the hug and she smiled kissing me on the cheek, "Call me in the morning. If she's still sick then don't go to school, but either way call me and let me know what you're going to do, OK?" she asked eying me.
"Alright mom I will don't worry." I assured her; she gave me one more hug and turned to walk back to her car. I waved to her as she pulled out of the drive way. I went back into Elizabeth's room trying to stay quiet since she was still asleep. I went into the bathroom and got ready to take a quick shower.
When I got out, I dried off and started to go through my bag. I grabbed some boxers out of the bag, a shirt and some basketball shorts out of the bag as well. I looked at the clothes that were left, it was what I was supposed to wear to school tomorrow. I laughed again realizing that I was 17 and my mother picked out my clothes for school. When I finished, I closed the bag up and walked back out to Elizabeth's room. I placed my bag next to the door and decided to go back and watch some TV until I felt like I could go back to sleep.
I was watching reruns of friends since that was the only thing on other than infomercials. I was startled when I head a quiet voice, "Hey." I looked up to see Elizabeth she looked sleepy still.
"Hey.. What are you doing up?" I asked her.
"I noticed you weren't there, and I heard the TV on so I came to see what was up. Why are you awake?"
"I Couldn't sleep anymore..." I said truthfully.
"Well I can't sleep anymore either."
"Come here you can watch TV with me," I said holding my arms out. She smiled joining me on the couch, she laid between me and the back of the couch her head resting on my chest and her arm wrapping around my torso. I smiled kissing the top of her head; we laid there watching TV in a comfortable silence.
She had been quiet for a while and I assumed that she was asleep. I looked down to see a smile on her face; she looked up at me and leaned in pressing her lips to mine softly. "I love you," she whispered as she put her head back on my chest.
"I love you too," I said tightening my arm around her hugging her closer to me.
We laid there watching random things that came on. I wasn't paying much attention to anything, letting my mind wonder. So when I fell asleep I couldn't tell you what time it actually was. I woke up in the morning with the sun in my face. I looked at the clock on the wall and saw that it was already seven forty five.
School started about twenty minutes ago. Great, we were late. I placed the back of my hand on her forehead she still had a slight fever. I sighed and got up off the couch setting her back down softly trying not to wake her.
I went into the kitchen and called my mom letting her know that Elizabeth was still running a fever and I didn't want to risk her getting sicker or getting anyone else sick. I hung up the phone and decided that I'd make us some breakfast. I decided on something that wouldn't upset her stomach if she was still feeling sick. A simple plate of toast, I also made her some pancakes just in case she felt well enough to eat them.
I went into the living room and saw that she was sitting up, "Hey how are you feeling?" I asked, concern laced throughout my words.
"Better, I guess." She shrugged, looking down at her hands in her lap. It looks like she has a lot on her mind, but I wouldnt push Elizabeth to tell me anything she wasn't ready to tell me.
"Do you think you could handle some breakfast?"
"Yeah I think so, what did you have in mind?"
"Well, I made you some toast and pancakes but you don't have to eat the pancakes if you think you can't handle it." I said. She looks up at me and I couldn't help but contain the smile creeping on my face, she was so beautiful.
"OK thanks," she said standing up and going into the kitchen. I handed her the plate and we went back into the living room sitting on the couch eating quietly. She finished both the toast and pancakes which she ate dry. "I'm going to take a shower," she said placing a kiss on my cheek.
"Do you want to go to school?" I asked before she got to her room.
"Nope, not really. I'm not feeling that good," she said with a light laugh from down the hall. I guess she just doesn't want to deal with Asia just yet, but that was something that we would both have to face sooner or later.
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