"Good morning beautiful." Ethan croons as he sees me walking out towards the kitchen from my bedroom to grab a cup of coffee. My heart stings with the guilt of knowing I kissed another man just last night.

And not just any other man - the man.

But when my boyfriend showed up after working late last night, I couldn't just tell him to go home. He did nothing wrong and he has no idea that my heart is even more conflicted than before. Maybe I shouldn't say anything to him until I know who I should be with, because if I choose Ethan, then there's no point in worrying him. But if I choose Taehyung...

I'm going to break Ethan's heart.

"Morning." I give a tight lipped smile as I make my way to the coffee waiting for me on the counter.

I turn around, sipping on the hot liquid and see Ethan looking at me. My eyebrows raise while my eyes search for anything else to look at, doing my best to avoid contact. How can he not read the guilty words written all over my face? I saw them plain as day in the mirror this morning.

"Come here." He softly says, holding out his arms for me.

I walk over, setting my coffee mug down on the kitchen island and let him wrap his arms around me while I wrap mine around him. Fuck, this sucks. I had full intention of giving myself to this wonderful man and now I may end up leaving him for Taehyung and losing my friend in the process.

Or do I walk away from Taehyung and stay with Ethan? He's been so amazing. More than I could ever deserve. My heart is so torn right now.

"What's wrong, Ava? Talk to me. Is it Taehyung?" He questions.

My eyes widen and my heart pounds furiously as the sound of his name, "What?"

"Are you having those dreams again?" He looks at me worriedly.

Right. Those dreams. The dreams he's aware of. That's all he knows.

Taking a deep breath, I try to decide what to say...what to do. Do I lie? Do I say that I'm fine like every female does, hoping that their man doesn't catch on to the fact that they're not actually fine? Who am I kidding? Ethan knows me better than that and that line never worked on him anyway.

"Ava?" He asks, jolting me out of my thoughts when I took too long to respond.

"Just feeling a bit tired this morning." I smile as brightly as I can.

"Do you want to stay home today?" He nuzzles his face into my neck and the scent of him fills my senses. How do I choose between them?

"Maybe I should. I could use some rest." I lie...again, knowing damn well I wouldn't be able to rest if I wanted to.

Lifting his head back up, he smiles fondly at me and kisses my forehead, "Get some rest. I'll see you after work then. I need to go home and get ready for work today."

"Okay. Have a good day." I smile sweetly in return.

"Thanks babe." He slips off of the bar stool and pulls me in for a tighter hug. "I love you."

My heart stings. "I love you, too."

Leaning down, he presses his lips to mine and although it feels just as sweet and heart-warming as ever, I feel like shit knowing my lips have not just been on his anymore.

Standing in the kitchen, I watch him walk out and give him one last wave goodbye before I sigh out in exasperation. This isn't me. I wasn't in love with anyone before Taehyung and now I'm in love with two men. Who am I? How do I do this? How do I make this kind of decision?

KTH:
Busy?

I stare at my phone for a moment, completely still in shock that he's texting me again, but that stunned expression turns into a goofy grin when I realize...he's texting me again. My heart swells and I feel a giddiness inside of me that I can only compare to that of a fangirl.

Pressing the call button on the notification, I try to hold back an excited giggle when I hear him answer on the first ring.

"Hello?" He cautiously answers, probably hoping it wasn't Ethan calling him to confront him.

"Hey you." I flirt and I hear him sigh in relief.

"My baby! I missed your voice so much!" He sounds like he's matching my level of happiness.

"I missed yours too." I bite my lip and plop down on my couch as I soak in everything about this phone conversation. His breathing, the background noise, his deep voice laced with the same love he's kept for me after all of this time.

"I need to see you. When are you free?" He asks and I hear an unfamiliar male voice faintly in the background giving some sort of orders to someone.

"Um, well...I'm skipping out on work today." I explain while holding on to my small accent pillow that was on my couch tightly as if it was him in my arms instead.

"Text me your address. I'll come over right now." He has no hesitation in his voice whatsoever.

"Now?" My eyes widen and I look around my apartment, realizing that I haven't showered or anything yet. Shit!

"Yes now. I've waited long enough." He chuckles and I hear keys jingling in his hand.

"Okay. I'll text it to you." I try my best to sound as calm as possible, but he clearly knows better from the chuckle leaving him once again.

"See you soon gongju."

We both pause for a second before ending the phone call and I text him my address right away, telling him to ring the buzzer once he arrives. Tossing the pillow to the other side of the couch, I hop up with a squeal and in a mad dash I begin to tidy up the best I can. Fluffing up the cushions, putting my coffee mug in the dishwasher, quickly wiping down the counter, pushing in the bar stools, putting up the shoes I lazily kicked off by the door, and taking the fastest shower I've ever had in my life - including shaving.

Thankfully, today was not a hair wash day so as soon as I stepped out, I brushed it out and turned on my hair straightener so that I can quickly run it through my strands before he got here. I'm not sure how far away he is, but I'm glad it's taking at least this long for him to get here.

I quickly finish my skin care and swipe on a bit of mascara, under eye concealer and run some brow gel through my eyebrows before rushing over to my closet to find something to put on. I don't want to seem like I'm trying too hard or like I'm super nervous - even if I am because duh - but I want to look presentable.

I go for a pair of cute jeans and a casual, but cute, top and spray some lightweight perfume. Glancing around, I make sure my place looks okay enough without looking like I tried too hard. It's his first time in my place. The first time he's seen me living on my own. I don't want to make a bad impression.

Why does this feel like a first date?

The buzzer goes off and I swear it's louder than it's ever been. Taking two deep breaths after pressing the button to open the main door, I anxiously wait for him.

Three steady knocks pound on the other side in tune with my heart and I glance out of the peephole to see him biting down on his lip and bouncing in place. Cute! He's nervous, too.

I open the door with a wide smile that I didn't even expect to be plastered onto my face. He rushes in excitedly, wrapping me up in his arms and lifting me off of the floor as the door slowly shuts behind him. He holds me tightly, damn near squeezing the life out of me, but I'm completely fine with it. I thought I'd never feel this again and I don't know if I ever want it to go away.

He sets me down back on two unsteady feet and runs his tongue over his bottom lip while staring down at me. My eyes bounce between his eyes and lips and I crave to feel them on my own again.

But I shouldn't. I shouldn't want to feel another man's lips on my own while I'm with Ethan, but Taehyung still holds my heart. I can't deny that fact.

"We should talk." I state as I turn away before it's too late and grab his hand, directing him towards the couch.

"I like your place," He frowns, "but I pictured more artwork. Like how I always pictured our home."

"I've been saving to open up my art gallery. I haven't had much opportunity to buy my own artwork yet." I explain as we sit next to one another on the couch, our bodies turned towards each other.

I want to devour him right here.

"It's being built." He mentions.

"Huh?" My face twists up in confusion.

"Our house. It's being built." He smirks and reaches to grab my hand, pulling it up towards his beautiful lips and kisses my fingertips.

My breath hitches upon contact and my lips part as I watch him slowly kiss each finger as if he's cherishing every indention of my fingerprints. "You...you're still building it?"

"I started the process six months ago. I reached out to some contractors right before I was discharged." He moves my hand so that I'll cup his face. "I told you. I'm here to stay."

His soft skin in my palm makes it hard for me to think and his piercing gaze makes it hard for me to breathe. The temptation is almost too hard to bear.

I love him.

"Tae, you have to stop that." I breathe out.

He begins kissing my middle and index fingers again, taking the tip in between his lips, "Stop what?"

"You know what you're doing." I bite my lip.

"It's so hard to stop when you keep giving me the look again," He smiles and kisses the palm of my hand before lowering it and intertwining his fingers with mine, "but I'll be good...or try to. What did you need to talk about?"

Fuck...what was it again? Oh, right...

"Ethan." I state and Taehyung's shoulders sag at the mention of his name. "A lot has changed since you were gone."

"I know that." He says just above a whisper.

"Ethan and I became very close friends since you've been gone. He's always been by my side and waited patiently until I was ready...which it wasn't even that long ago that I decided to give him a chance. He hasn't done anything wrong. He's a good person and I..." I sigh out and look up at the ceiling trying to find the words, but I end up dropping my head down in defeat, "I don't want to hurt anyone."

"I'm hearing a lot about Ethan, but not a lot about you." He reaches up and moves some hair away from my face, tracing my jawline and lifting my head to look back up at him. "How do you feel? Does your heart pound when you see him? Do you have that thousand watt smile when you're around him? Do you feel like he's where you want to be? Would you wait for him? If something good was to happen, or something bad, would you want to contact him first? Can you picture a happily fulfilled life with him?"

How do I answer this? I look in his eyes, completely keeping it all reserved for my inner thoughts. There's no way in hell I can talk about my feelings for someone else to the other man I'm still in love with.

"Tae, I-"

"Those answers aren't for me. They're for you." He looks around my apartment for a minute before locking eyes on my phone's screen on the coffee table lighting up with notifications, "You should probably check those."

Looking over I see three missed texts from Ethan and one from Madison. It takes me a few seconds of contemplation before I look to Taehyung who softly smiles and nods towards the phone again.

Ethan:
Missing you at work.

Ethan:
Did you fall asleep?

Ethan:
Maybe so. Text me later.

Madison:
You better not be
getting all depressed
again! Love you.

"I'm going to go now." Taehyung quietly says as he begins to stand up.

Quickly standing up with him, I follow him to the door, "Why? Why are you leaving?"

He turns back around after having slipped back on his shoes and pulling out his keys from his pocket. He kisses my forehead and looks down at me as I crane my neck up to look at him, "Because you need some time for yourself, too. Without me or him clouding your thoughts. I'm just a phone call away now. If you need me, I'll be there. No matter what. Plus...if I stay, I can't guarantee to continue to be a good boy."

I giggle at his ending statement and feel the blush spread over my face at the memories of the physical aspect of our love we shared in the past. Turning back around, he opens the door and steps out in the hallway with me holding the door open to watch him walk away.

"Taehyung?" I call out to him as he reaches the corner to head towards the elevator. He stops and faces me again with his eyebrows raised in anticipation, "I love you."

He smiles his wide boxy smile, making my heart flutter as he bites his lip, "I love you, too, jagi."

He rounds the corner and out of my sight as I just stand there for a moment, relishing in the full feeling my heart has for that man and grinning to myself like an idiot.