It took me hours to stop shaking, even long after we'd left the Bronze Mermaid and returned to the palace. I'd quickly changed out of my soaked dress into a clean one, but I still felt anxious. Jonah had stayed by my side the whole time, never saying a word. Only when we were getting ready for bed that night, the moon shining high above the water, did he speak. "Are you okay?"

Three simple words, yet filled with such worry and concern that tears blurred my eyes. "I-I don't know what happened. It wasn't the waitress's fault—I was the one who wasn't watching where I was going. But when she accidentally spilled that bubble tea all over my chest..." I trailed off as I took a shaky breath. "I swear it felt like Zander's blood all over again.

"I went back two years ago in my memory to that day—I felt myself drive the blade into Zander's chest and felt the blood soaking my hands, chest, and neck. I don't know if it was a flashback or a stress- or exhaustion-induced hallucination, but it felt real. Zander may be dead, but the aftermath of his cruelty will most likely stay with me for the rest of my life." My voice broke on the last word.

Jonah gently grabbed my chin, forcing me to meet his gaze. "Look at me." My face was pale and tear-stained when I did. "You did what you had to do. Zander was a narcissist and a murderer. Who knows what would have happened to Elle had you not interfered? You heard what Izzy has to deal with. Imagine what it could have been like."

His voice was stern, and the hint of fury had me biting back a shiver. When the knock sounded on our suite door, my heart simultaneously slammed to a halt and jumped into my throat. The voice, when it came, was soft and worried. "Faye? It's Mom."

Hearing Mom's voice snapped whatever tether I'd had over my unstable emotions since the Bronze Mermaid. My chest began to hitch as tears welled in my eyes, spilling down my cheeks a heartbeat later. Never before had I craved the safety and comfort of my mother's arms so desperately.

Jonah opened the door, and she immediately extended her arms. "I'm here, sweetie." The exhaustion was evident in her voice and the weary expression on her face.

I sobbed as I rushed into her arms, free to let the tsunami of trapped emotions loose. I was so tired. I felt like I carried the world's weight on my shoulders—or, at the very least, the weight of my family's well-being. It was my deepest secret and my greatest shame.

Even though Waverly and I had made up, we'd never spoken at length about what Zander had done—the effect it'd had on both of us. In his final moments, I'd sworn to myself that from then on, I would do whatever it took to ensure that none of my family had to go through something like this again. We'd all changed in the two years that had passed—even Elle.

Uncle Kai had again told me in confidence that Elle had woken up crying in the middle of the night several times since the incident. Sometimes, it could be weeks or months between fits—others, it happened multiple nights in a row. Hence, Aunt Izzy hardly let Elle out of her sight.

Mom gripped me tightly as I sobbed. I felt her heartbreak and sorrow as keenly as my own. She was crying so hard I could feel the sobs wracking her body. There were no words to describe the agony we were currently experiencing. Jonah stayed by my side the whole time, silent but steady.

"I'm s-sorry," I repeated over and over through the tears that streamed down my face and choked my voice. "I'm s-so sorry. H-he was g-going to k-kill her."

Even though I knew none of my family would ever blame me, I carried that shame daily. Whenever I saw Elle, I didn't see the smiling, bubbly little mermaid I knew and loved. I saw her screaming for her mother, saw Mom's red, tear-stained face as she begged Zander to let Elle go. How he'd known about Elle in the first place, I had no idea—I hadn't even begun to try to figure that out.

When Mom's tears finally subsided, she pulled away and met my eyes. "You had a flashback, didn't you? At the Bronze Mermaid?" Her voice wavered but didn't break.

I swallowed hard, swiping at my face before nodding. "W-when the waitress and I b-bumped into each other. I s-saw... I s-saw myself..." Emotion cut off the rest of my words as I closed my mouth and bit back a sob. It didn't matter. Mom's face went white, and I knew she was silently filling in the blanks. My unspoken words weighed heavily in the water.

I saw myself killing Zander all over again. The guilt of what I'd done, that shame, weighed me down with the force of a dozen anchors. Gut-wrenching, heartbreaking sobs tore through me like a hurricane. She gripped me tightly as I went limp in her arms. When she spoke, her voice was right in my ear. "Listen to me. None of us blame you for what happened. You made the best decision you could under impossible circumstances.

"Jonah's right. Thanks to you, Izzy and Kai have their daughter back. You saved her life. Zander was a lying, manipulative narcissist. He would have killed Elle had you not interfered. His death was not your fault, sweetie. You don't have to carry that shame and guilt around anymore."

Her voice cracked, and she swallowed hard before continuing. "Zander can't hurt you—or anyone—anymore. He can't hurt us anymore." She said the last sentence a little bit firmer, as if she was desperately trying to convince herself.

As much as I wanted to believe her, that dagger of shame and guilt had wedged deep in my heart, making it impossible to remove. That wasn't even taking into account Waverly and our still-healing friendship. Every time our paths crossed, despite the easy and comfortable pattern we had fallen back into, the words got stuck in my throat. I wanted to tell her the truth—more than anything to get the weight off my chest—but was terrified of her reaction.

Afraid she would end up leaving just as Jonah had in that fateful vision from years ago. I was terrified that it would ruin our friendship, triggering my abandonment issues all over again. As if she'd unconsciously heard my thoughts, Waverly's head appeared in the doorway, face creased in concern as she took in the scene in front of her: Jonah off to the side while Mom clutched me in the middle of the suite, her grip the only thing holding me upright.

"Faye? What's wrong?" Worry filled her voice as she swam inside the suite, stopping inches from us. When she glimpsed my pale, tear-stained face, something clicked in her mind. Mom wordlessly let me go as Waverly gripped my arms, her voice surprisingly steady as she spoke.

"Your mom told me about Elle. Is she okay? Is that what this is about?" When I didn't respond immediately, she put a finger under my chin, tipping my face up to meet her steady gaze.

"Whatever it is, it's okay. You can tell me anything." I cried harder when she said those words, each syllable as sharp as the dagger that had pierced Zander's chest. She was kind and understanding now, but would she still be after I'd told her the truth?

I took shaky breaths, trying to calm my racing heartbeat. Slowly, I felt my breathing return to normal and my heart slow. When I felt Jonah and Mom move to either side of me and grip my hands, a rush of courage flooded through me.

The words came out in a rush, tripping over one another. "I killed Zander." Not even glancing at her, I rushed on. "I didn't have a choice. He had Elle, and he was going to kill her. I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry.

"I have nightmares about it every night. I hated keeping this from you, but I was worried you'd leave again once you found out. You're my oldest friend, Wave—my sister—and I love you. I can't lose you again." As the words left my mouth, nausea surged through me like a ship on rough waters.

My eyes watered, saliva filling my mouth as I held still, not daring to breathe, waiting for the episode to pass. But it didn't. I clamped a hand over my mouth as I rushed to the bathing room, barely crossing the threshold before I retched, the acrid scent triggering another wave almost immediately.

When I'd finished heaving, I collapsed on the floor, squeezing my eyes shut. Though my body felt weak and spent, my heart was racing. I couldn't find the strength to lift my head, never mind swim. Unconsciousness tugged at me so much that I had to fight to stay awake. I felt a soft hand on my back, then heard a soothing voice filled with love.

"I love you, Faye. Nothing will ever change that. I'm so sorry about our fight. I don't blame you. I never did." Waverly's words were the last I heard before surrendering to the blackness awaiting me.

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