Song of the chapter is Matilda by Harry Styles

-56-
-Saina Arora-
-Present-

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Arora Residence
24 December, 2019
4:00 pm

When I was younger, my father used to force me to accompany him for one of his weekly trips outside town.

Weekends often started off with my parents being at loggerheads, leading my father to pack his belongings and take off for two days. He never knew where he would go. He always used to say that he travelled with the gushing winds, wherever they would take him, he would go. He was like a wild bird, chaotic, upbeat, but mostly, free.

My mother was a raging alcoholic. Her mornings started with a glass of red wine and the  day ended with her being passed out of all the alcohol she could afford in town. Sometimes, my dad used to fight with her, urging her desperately to stop her addiction. And slowly and gradually, it got violent. The late night fights, the mess of the living room and the destruction of my family ----- everything happened in the blink of an eye.

I had always looked up to my father cause I always believed that he would make things right. That he wasn't a coward. He was my superhero, my hope.

But you know what they say, 'Hope is for suckers. It breeds eternal misery.'

My dad used to send me flowers, with a note that was signed off with forever. My dad used to facetime me everyday when he and mom split up and he left the house. We had made so many plans about what we would do together as soon as the summer holidays came. And then one day, he just stopped caring. He stopped facetiming me, he stopped sending me flowers or to come visit me. He stopped calling and soon enough I stopped caring too.

As I walked down the stairs, looking for my mom, I stumbled across the mess that the living room was. It was as though a tornado had hit the house. I looked around for mom. My heart was pounding against my chest; had the psychopath done this?

" Mom...."

The faint feeble voice of my mother echoed from the kitchen. I quickly made my way towards the kitchen, ardently hoping she was okay.

As I walked inside, I stumbled across my mother ----- my disaster of a mother , her fallen figure on the cold floor. I sighed softly and bend down. Her eyes had tears in them and in her hand she cradled her third bottle of red wine for the day.

" Oh mom..."

She looked up at me, her eyes sunken, her bottom lip quivering.
"He's getting married to her......"

I narrowed my eyes. "What are you talking about?"

She sniffled, her eyes still gleaming. "Your father....how could he do this to me?"

And then it hit me. My father was getting married today.

My stomach dropped in an instant. The bile threatened to rise up my throat. I wanted to throw up.

" How could he do this....how could he do this to me...."

My mother started mumbling, but I wasn't listening anymore. The realisation was hitting me like a truck. My father was no longer my father anymore. He was someone else's. He was getting a new family.

He was replacing us.

Why was it so easy for people to replace me in their lives? Why was my presence always a temporary phenomena? Why could no one stick around?

I sunk down on the floor beside my mother and hugged my knees closer to my chest. My mother rested her head on my shoulder.

" It's going to be okay, mom....." I assured her, even though my own heart wasn't convinced if it was ever going to be okay.

Her sniffles grew softer and she somewhat calmed down a bit. I took the half-drunk wine bottle from her and kept it aside.

" You shouldn't drink so much, mom." I spelled my same old worry. "Someday, I won't be here and then...."

She clung to my arm and looked up at me like a little child, "Don't say that, Saina. Don't say that you'll leave me too....."

I breathed a sigh and tilted my head at her, " I'm not going to leave you, mom. You're all I have."

She sighed, feigning relief.

" But that doesn't mean I'm going to be with you every minute of the day. What if something bad happens when I'm at school or something?"

Shs frowned, as if finally understanding the seriousness of the situation.

" You know Saina....the only reason I ever started drinking in the first place was because of my failed relationship with your father."

I didn't say a word but listened carefully.

" He actually...got me into this habit. When I first married him, I didn't have the habit. My family wasn't as affluent as your father's. So I never had that habit. But when I married him, I got involved in his world....which was so different than mine."

I frowned.

" It was all glitters and gold for first two years. I was mesmerized by the artificiality. It was all so different and exotic to me."

I rubbed her hand, comforting her.

" Your father got me into this habit of drinking. And after that....it was as if I couldn't stop it. When you were still inside me, one time, I had a glass. I knew that I shouldn't have. But I couldn't control myself. That was the first blow in our relationship. Your father was furious at me for drinking while being pregnant."

I blinked hard.

"I promised myself that I would leave the habit after your birth. But I couldn't. I lost control and started binging on it. And it got worse and worse with time. My relationship with your father deteriorated. I couldn't develop a nice relationship with you. I was such a disappointment."

Saying that she started to weep silently. I held her close in an attempt to calm her down , but she didn't stop.

" I've been such a bad mother to you.....I honestly don't blame your father for leaving me. I'm just mad he didn't think of you even once."

I sucked a deep breath and swallowed the lump forming in my throat.

" I know that sorry doesn't make up for anything....but I really am sorry, Saina. I'm sorry for everything."

I wiped her tears and looked at her solemnly. "It's okay, mom. I forgive you."

" Really?"

" Yeah." I said, recalling Veronica's words to me once. "Someone once told me that no one's really a bad person. All of us are just trying to cope with the world...in our own ways."

She smiled at me through her tears. "Thank you, honey."

"Don't mention it."

We sat quietly for the next few moments before I suggested,
"You know I think we should probably get you into a rehab soon. That'll help you get over the addiction."

" But then I won't be able to see you...."

" I'll come visit everyday, mom."

She looked doubtfully at me.

" Promise?"

I smiled.

" Promise."

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After tucking my mother in her bed and making sure she was asleep, I came downstairs again and cleaned up the living room.

Then I sat down in the couch, exhausted and happy. For the first time in my life, I had had a deep conversation with my mother.

It was bitter sweet if you asked me.

My mother and I had never really had a real conversation before.  She had always been in her trance like state, either passed out from the wine or too caught up in herself to talk to me. I had always longed to have the same relationship that Alishka had with her mother with my mother. But now that I knew the truth about that relationship, my desire seemed so wrong.

I felt happy because my mother was finally going to make an effort to get over her addiction. We could have a normal relationship.

But at the same time, I felt incredibly broken about my father. It was true, wasn't it? He hadn't cared for me once when he had left us. He hadn't cared for me when he had come that morning to announce his wedding and his attempt at getting rid of our responsibility.

I sighed, as a tear drop graced my cheeks. I wiped it off quick. There was no point in wasting my tears for him.

My phone which was kept on the table, suddenly started buzzing. I picked it up and examined. It was a new notification.

A message from UNKNOWN.

My breath hitched in my throat. I gulped and clicked on the message.

'The Final Round :

You're invited to the most exciting supper of your life. Tomorrow at midnight sharp, come to where it all began.

You know what happens if you don't. '

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