Song of the chapter is Too Sad To Cry by Sasha Sloan

-52-
-Veronica D'Rosario-
-Present-

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Paper Lantern
23 December, 2019
7:01 pm

The night's fresh air brushed my skin,  crisp and cold against my shivering body. The weather was bad, piercing through every bone and every tissue in my body.  I breathed heavily as I made my way to my bicycle kept in the parking lot of the diner.

In the distance , the vacant streets were swallowed in obscurity, missing the light from each standing lamp post. There were several cars aligned in front of the diner, each occupying a certain place of it's own. The owners were probably inside the diner, having a merry time of their own, oblivious to the mess that our lives had become.

Ahaan was my best friend.

When I had met Ahaan for the first time, he was just a small boy with soft brown hair and big black eyes. He was the boy who used to sheepishly smile at the slightest joke. He was the boy who used to eat blueberries like those were the only delicacies on earth. He was the boy who used to scrunch up his nose when I called him 'Peaches'. He was the boy who dreaded getting scolding from elders or doing anything wrong.

He was pure as honey.

I was merely nine at the time , with no friends. And I didn't wish to make any either. But then one day I was riding on my skateboard when I had stumbled and fell on the road. And I had met Ahaan there for the first time. He had rushed to my aid at once and even though he couldn't really help me, he had made me smile and forget about my pain for a while. And we had become friends ever since.

Ahaan was my only friend.

He was always there, whenever I needed him. Then why couldn't I be there when he needed me the most?

I hugged my coat closer to sheild myself from the adverse cold outside.

Where were my tears? Where was my source of liberation? Everything was accumulating inside me and yet, there was no sign of release.

The ting of the diner's bell awakened me from my living nightmare. I knew it was him, even if I had my back to him. His signature smell of hot cocoa and raindrops were enough evidence of that.

I turned around in a swift and looked at him. He had a worried look on his face.

" I told you not to come after me, Moose."

He scrunched up his nose and stepped closer towards me. "You know I can't do that."

I breathed a sigh, almost annoyed and started walking away. "Go back, Moose."

" Veronica, I know you're angry right now. We all are. We all want to avenge his death too. But we need to think logically now-"

" Logically?" I stopped and turned to look at him. " You mean how we logically thought of going back to the cabin to investigate and how that almost got you killed? Or do you mean how I logically suggested that we should split up and search for evidence and then Avinash got killed in front of Saina because of it?"

He gulped visibly. " Okay, fair point. But Ronnie-"

"No, Moose. Stop it. Just...let this go. We are never gonna win against him. No matter what we do, he always gets his way."

"  I understand that you're frustrated right now, Ronnie." Moose said and took a step forward. " But giving up isn't the option. Not when we've come so far."

" No, Moose!" I glared at him, my nails digging deeper into my palms. " This isn't a topic of debate, alright? I won't sit still and watch you or anyone else for that matter get hurt because of me!"

" Veronica-"

The ting of the diner's bell rang again and I looked over Moose's shoulder. The rest of the gang stood behind , watching our conversation with curiosity and concern.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath and looked at Himanshu again. " Moose.... I told you, didn't I? I'm just like her. I'm a monster."

Himanshu looked at me empathically and took a step forward. I took a step back.

" Veronica don't say that-"

" No, it's true." I shook my head negatively and whispered. " My mother was right. I destroy everything I touch. She was right. I don't deserve friends. I don't deserve love. I don't deserve any of it."

" V, what are you talking about?" Zoya stepped forward, looking questioningly at me. I looked up at her and inhaled deeply.

" I killed my mother, Zoya."

A flash of shock surpassed all of their faces, except for Moose. He stands still, his head hung low as if he was defeated.

" What?" Zoya muttered, still unable to accept the truth.

" Yes, I did." I muttered slowly, my throat aching. " When I was nine years old, my mother tried to kill me. She said I wasn't meant to be born and that my existence was a mistake. She wanted me gone. She hated me because she thought that I was a monster and that I destroyed everything I touched. That night when she attacked me, I didn't know what to do. I was scared....terrified. In a moment of panic,.... I seized the knife kept beside me....and plunged it into her chest."

Zoya's eyes had tears running through. But I knew deep down that she feared me in that very moment. Her heart was filled with sympathy for me, but her mind was trying to convince her otherwise.

" Anyone who knows about that night tells me...that it wasn't my fault. That it was self defence. That I did no wrong. But I know the truth. I know that whatever my mom said that night about me....she was right all along. I destroy everything I touch. I destroy everyone around me! It was me who suggested that we should look around for clues that Alishka left and...then Avinash died."

Saina whimpered, her hand clasped to her mouth. Kartik blinked , his eyes narrowing down at me.

" And then I suggested that we should go back to the cabin and check if there were any more clues left....and Himanshu almost got killed."

I looked at him. Even when sad, he still managed to look beautiful. My heart gave a leap, a faint beat I so solemnly knew. But I stood my ground. I didn't deserve his love and affection.

" And then Ahaan.....he died....and nobody was there with him, to help him. He died... waiting for help. I should've been there. I claimed to be his best friend! And where was I at the time when he needed me? I was busy figuring out deceptive clues that Alishka left behind."

I gulped down the lump forming in my throat for a while and glared at Kartik. I knew he wasn't at fault but my heart wanted someone I could place the blame on. I couldn't blame the dead cause there was no use doing that.

" You know....after her death,.... I always tried to find ways and means that I could use to forgive Alishka and not blame her for anything. I thought I could give her the benefit of the doubt." I muttered, my fists curled up in balls. " But...no....she is at fault. She is the reason why all of this is happening to us. She's the reason Saina lost Avinash. And I.... I lost my friend....my Ahaan."

Kartik lowered his eyes. Maybe somewhere deep down he blamed himself too for what his sister's deeds and how maybe he could've stopped it from happening somehow.

I closed my eyes and sighed and then looked back at Moose. "I beg you, Moose....stop looking for clues and playing detective. Let the real detectives deal with this psychopath. After all we aren't superheroes....we can't stop him."

" Veronica, Ahaan was my friend too. And it hurts me too that he's gone...but it isn't our fault. We did everything we could do." Himanshu said, his eyes softening as they gaze into mine.

" Did we really, Moose?" I asked, my voice barely a whisper.

There was an audible silence following that around us. Maybe it wasn't our entirely fault that we couldn't save Ahaan. Maybe it was something that was meant to be.

Or maybe we just failed at saving our friend because we were too busy saving ourselves from the misery Alishka put us into.

" Maybe we should stay away from each other for a while." Zoya suddenly spoke up. Everyone else looked at her questioningly.

" Zoya , you too?" Himanshu asked, hurt evident in his voice.

" Veronica's right, Himanshu. We were looking for clues so that we could put an end to all of this in the first place. But if we can't even save our friends from that psychopath, then what's the use of all these evidence? That sick fuck will always be one step ahead of us." Zoya said , crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Himanshu looked back and forth between us, hopelessly. " Guys, what's wrong with you? Don't you understand? This is what he wants! He wants to divide us. We were all together at the motel and Ahaan was the only one left alone and so he got the chance to hurt him. He can't hurt us when we're together.... that's why we're still alive!"

" Yeah?" I mumbled, looking intently at him. He looked at me, his brows creased at the edges and a deep frown settling across his face. I cleared my voice before speaking, " Well, I plan to keep it that way."

Saying that, I walked away from the group, towards my bicycle. The cold air pierced through my skin , giving me goosebumps. The layers of clothing I had on were a mere hallucination at the moment.

As I reached my bicycle, the shrill sound of my ringtone echoed loudly around me. With a frustrated whimper , I hit answer.

" Well done, Veronica." The killer said.

" You happy now? I did everything you wanted me to do. And now my friends hate me." I sneered.

"I honestly didn't think you had it in you, to say all those things." The killer said. I could almost make out the faint smirk on his face right now.

" I did what you asked. Now stay away from Himanshu." I warned.

"Oh Veronica, haven't you ever been told?" He laughed, sinisterly.

" What?" My heart was in my throat and the sound of it beating fiercely against my chest was the only sound I could hear at the moment.

" You should never make a deal with the devil."

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