Song of the chapter is Don't Give Up On Me by Andy Grammer

-44-
-Himanshu Arora-
-Present-

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Daffodil Hospital
12 December, 2019
12:34 am

My eyes fluttered opened and the person I wanted to see the most wasn't there.

There were several people who were there in the room, happy at seeing me well. My friends, family , everyone except her. Don't get me wrong , I was grateful for everyone that was with me. Truly grateful.

But I couldn't help the feeling that I got when I didn't see her.

My mother was hysterical, almost collapsing with happiness at seeing me open my eyes. My dad had somehow been able to console her and get her out of the cabin. Siya looked too distraught to ask me if I was okay. So she just hugged me and cried.

Once everyone was contented that I was okay, they left to get some coffee. Only Zoya remained back.

She pulled the chair beside my bed and sat down, looking smugly at me.

" You're looking for her , aren't you?"

Was I that obvious?

" Uh..."

" You don't have to lie. I know you were looking for her the minute you opened your eyes." She said, smiling slightly.

I nodded. " So?"

" She left. Two hours back."

Her answer left me puzzled and dumbfounded. She left? Without meeting me?

" She left? " I said, the hurt eminent in my voice.

" Yeah. I was surprised too." Zoya said, leaning back on her chair. "When you got hurt, she was hysterical. She even fainted on our way here out of stress. So we thought of admitting her too."

She paused before continuing, "When she woke up, she started behaving strangely. She did come see you through the window though."

" Wait , what do you mean behaving strangely?" I asked.

" I don't know." She said, her voice getting quieter, " In her sleep she was screaming the word 'mommy'. And when I later asked her about it, she denied saying that it was just a bad dream."

"Mommy?" I asked, questioningly.

" Yes. I was weirded out too. I know that she doesn't call Mrs.Rosario mom, let alone mommy. So I was curious to know who she was dreaming about. She said that it was her biological mom she was thinking of." Zoya said, scrunching her nose.

" Her biological mom? Wait didn't she give her up for adoption when she was a kid?" I asked.

" So I have heard." Zoya said, her voice giving eminent evidence of her suspicions within.

" So why did she leave without...?" My voice trailed off.

" I don't really know. When Jennifer said that they were discharging her, she immediately shot up and demanded to go home. She didn't want to stay any longer." Zoya said, rubbing her eyes.

" Not even for meeting me?" My voice was low, due to the weakness of my physical body. But my mind was racing through a hundred thoughts at once.

Zoya pursed her lips into a thin line. " No, apparently not."

My brows furrowed. "Something's not right."

" I think so too, Himanshu." Zoya said, looking seriously at me now. " Come to think of it, we don't really know anything about Veronica. Other than the fact that she lives with Mrs. Rosario. And goes to our school."

I raised a brow. " What are you implying, Zoya?"

" I'm implying that she might not be who we think she is."

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→• Before Alishka •←

Veronica D' Rosario was an enigma.

She was the puzzle I desperately wanted to solve, the question I wanted to know the answer to, the mystery I wanted to uncover.

Although we practically grew up in the same town, we never really had interacted. Before Alishka, she would sometimes sit at the table near mine in class and start drawing. We never talked, but we sometimes nodded in some form of acknowledgement. Or smiled. Although her smiles were never nice. They were mystified smiles. Perturbed smiles. Or my personal favourite, the smile out of basic human politeness. Stiff , awkward and aloof. In general, the smiling was rare. Veronica wasn't really a smiler.

I guess she was like a Sylvia Plath character. Kind of withdrawn, quieter than most and a little lost. One of the few times she genuinely smiled, it was only because I did or said something funny. Her face would go right back to the impassive, and it was the drawing again.

I knew other people saw her as strange or creepy or disturbed. Along with rude and hateful. But that was never the impression that I got from her. Still isn't.

She used to be puzzled whenever I would willingly come over to talk to her. It was like she felt that whenever people would talk to her, it would either be a joke or a dare.

" Why are you so hung up on this girl?" Siya whined at me one day. "I don't get it. You can get any girl you want and you're wasting your time with someone who doesn't even talk to you. Or look at you."

"Those girls aren't really my type." I replied, exasperated by her line of questioning.

" And Veronica is?"

" Yes."

" Dear god, Himanshu." She said, with finality. "You know the only reason why we even associate with her is because she's Ahaan's friend. And god knows how that happened."

But I wasn't going to give up. I wasn't. I had to have her. It was all a part of a process. She was paying me attention, even if she was puzzled everytime we interacted, atleast she was seeing me. It was better than her avoiding any eye contact.

The first part of the challenge was to get her to talk more. Veronica seemed to find it difficult. It wasn't like she was mute or slow, it was like she was afraid to say the wrong thing. I called her name once after everyone had left history class except for the both of us.

She packed her belongings and then turned around. " Yeah?"

" Will you ever have a lengthy conversation with me?" I asked, looking straight into her eyes, trying to read her mind.

Her eyes were empty and she looked at me with her lips in an impassive line. " Wha-at?"

" You never talk more than two or three words." I said, taking a step towards her.

" Oh." Her face relaxed for a moment before putting on a frown.

" I didn't...mean to..uh...make you feel bad." I said, grimacing. "I just....god this is weird."

"Weird how?"

" This. I mean you. It's like there's no one in there. In you." I said, immediately regretting it after seeing her frown deepen.

" You talk too much." She said, moving past me to get out of the class. But I held her hand to stop her.

" On the contrary I don't talk enough. I'm just constantly confused as to why you seem so lonely and sad all the time." I said, trying my best not to sound patronizing.

" Why are you bothered about me?" Her voice grew more impassive. Almost bored.

" Because...." I began but my voice trailed off. " I... I care."

Her brows creased.

" Look, all I'm asking is whether you are okay?" I added quickly.

She nodded briskly. I knew something wasn't right with her because she kept up a fake smile, until she could no longer hold it. It hurt to see her suppressing her emotions, because she grew up believing this was the right way to be. " I'm okay."

" Are you sure?" Gently, I continued to probe. " Because sometimes it's like you... don't feel anything."

She shrugged. " I feel things."

" Like what?"

" Tense. Bored. Occasionally annoyed." There was a little flicker on her face. Almost like she'd been triggered by the topic, and then it was gone. She was blank again. " Does it matter?"

" Yes, it matters to me."

She looked at me , startled. Her face showed some emotions which she quickly disregarded again before going back to her impassive state.

" You matter, Veronica." I said with earnest.

And then something amazing happened.

She smiled. A tight lipped one, but still, she smiled.

My heart fluttered at that moment like it had never before.  And that was when I knew;

I was in love with Veronica D' Rosario.

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→• After Alishka •←

St. Issac Street
19 December, 2019
3:45 pm

Veronica was avoiding me.

She had been doing it for quite some time now. Ever since I got discharged from the hospital last week, she has been distant. It wouldn't have mattered if it was anyone else, but it was Veronica.

And Veronica was complicated.

Just when it seemed like she was letting me in, allowing me to untangle the things that made her so hard to figure out, she pushed me out. With a heavy heart, I looked at my phone for what felt like the hundredth time and found no new notifications. Not a message from her to give an excuse as to why she hadn't even come to see me or so much as replied to the several texts that I had sent her in the past week.

She was the most exciting thing that happened to Delmore for a while. I remembered my heart skipping faster than usual when Ahaan had introduced her to me and Siya, my thirteen year old self not understanding what it meant. And now, at seventeen, I'm completely in love with this girl. It's stupid.

As I straightened my posture, I gulped down a lump that had been forming in my throat for long and inhaled a shaky breath. With a long sigh , I walked inside Paper Lantern.

The bell on the door jingled as I closed it behind me. My eyes scanned for her behind the counter or along the booths. But she was nowhere to be seen.

With heavy steps , I stalked towards the counter and rang the small bronze bell that was perched on top of it. Mrs. Rosario appeared a while later from the back door, wearing her usual apron. She smiled as she greeted me.

" How are you, Himanshu?"

" I'm fine , thanks Mrs. Rosario." I said, politely.

" What would you like to have? The onion rings or your usual french fries and chocolate milkshake to go?" She asked, arranging the cabinets underneath.

" That'll be okay, Mrs. Rosario. I'm not here to have anything today. I just came by to see if Veronica was here."

Mrs. Rosario stopped and looked at me seriously. " She isn't."

" Do you know where I can find her?" I asked, curiously.

" She isn't at home, that I can tell you." Mrs. Rosario said , looking stressed out for a second. " I don't know where she is now. Honestly, if that girl listened to me, then half of my worries would've have ebbed away."

I smile slyly, not knowing what to answer to that.

" Anything else I can help you with, Himanshu?" She asked.

"Uh...yeah. Do you by means know why Veronica might be ignoring me?"

Her face suddenly turned to concern. Her brows creased as she took a deep breath.

"Yes."