Song of the chapter is Shameless by Camilla Cabello

-37-
-Siya Natekar-
-Present-

_____________

Natekar Residence
8 December, 2019
11:56 am

Packing the food in a container, I hurried off upstairs to my room. Picking up my small duffel bag, I put the container alongside the rest of the contents and zipped it tight. I slung my bag over my shoulder and hurried downstairs, closing the door behind me.

But as I reached the bottom of the stairs, a familiar face greeted me and I froze in my spot.

" Where are you hurrying off to?" My sister, Sanchi Natekar asked , standing near the kitchen island with her hands crossed in front of her chest.

Shit.

" Um... just the library." I said quickly.

" You've been visiting the library everyday for the past week. And as far as I know, you don't even have any exams scheduled for the next two months or so. Then why this sudden thrill to go to the library, Siya?" She asked in a condescending tone of voice. I drew a deep breath.

She was suspecting me.

" Um...no I'm just doing some research for a project for the economics class. That's why." I replied, trying to sound confident.

She looked doubtfully at me.
"Really?"

" Yeah."

She took two steps towards me and looked me straight in the eye. I gulped.

" Who have you been hanging out with lately, Siya?"

I paled. She knew. She knew. She knew.

" Um...what do you mean? I have been hanging out with my friends, Himanshu and Ahaan. Who else would I hang out with?" My voice grew shaky.

" Really?" She asked in the same condescending tone again.
"Cause as far as my knowledge is concerned, you have made new friends with certain people in this town lately."

" Wha-at?"

" I saw you , Siya." She said, her voice grew strict. " I saw you the other day, with Kartik Malhotra."

My breath hitched in my throat. My mind went blank for several minutes. I drew a shaky breath and gulped.

" Now what do you think you were doing talking to him?" She asked.

I felt guilty yet irritated. How could she have the nerve to judge me like this after getting back together with Nikhil?

I took a deep breath and said, "I'll hang out who I wanna hang out with, Sanchi. It should not be any of your business."

She looked at me , astounded. I guess she hadn't expected me to give her a benefiting response.

" Yes, it is my business, Siya. You're my little sister, I'm supposed to look out for you-"

" Please stop using that excuse as a way to control my life, Sanchi. Mom and dad already do it enough anyway." Saying that, I pushed past and headed straight for the door.

She called after me as I gripped the handle to pull it open. " Siya, that family is cursed. They are not good people. I have known them long enough to know that you should keep your distance from them."

I looked back at her, irritated out of my wits. " Yeah? Well atleast, they don't pretend to be saints like we do."

Before she could answer, I sprinted out the door, slamming the door behind me.

Shivering, I tightened my scarf around my neck , before glancing down at my phone, sighing as the person continued to call. Inhaling a deep breath, I answered the call.

" Hello, Kartik?"

________________

I took a deep breath.

The smell of musty nicotine in the cold air filled my senses as I headed inside his house. As soon as I closed the door behind me, the harsh smell of cigarette smoke was replaced by a gentle ginger fragrance. My grip tightened around the silver key, it's ridges imprinting themselves on the palm of my hand. The key was in the dead bolt, it twisted, it locked - and now I was in his house, alone with him. Just the two of us, away from the rest of the world.

The thought excited me. It shouldn't have.

The stairs were pushed to the right side of the entrance hall, nuzzled close to a papered wall. There were three pictures on the wall, one of the entire Malhotra family, one of Kartik and one of Mr. Malhotra.

None of Alishka.

It almost seemed like the family wanted to forget her now that she was gone. The thought alone sent a chill down my spine.

I threw the key on the small table beside the door and started to climb the stairs, with slow , deliberate steps. My hand rested on the wooden bannister, as I looked up at the lonely second floor platform. My heart beat got harder as I got closer to his room. I could feel it pounding in my throat and hear it loud in my ear. The house was so still , so quiet - it lacked a soul of it's own, too perfect, too empty.

Once I was finally at the top of the stairs , I walked to the left and stood in front of his door. The second one to my left, I had become so familiar with this room in the past couple of days, yet I always felt my heart rushing fast whenever I stood in front of that door. I pressed my ear against the door, my fingers spreading on it . There was nothing but silence.

A peaceful, bothersome silence.

" You can come in , Siya." He said, behind the closed door, his voice sounding like a deep echo, so far away.

I stepped away from the door, my heart leaping to my throat. How did he know that I was here? I blinked for several seconds and then finally slipped into his room. The door made a clicking sound as it closed behind me, so I pressed my back against it.

Kartik was by the window with a cigarette between his teeth, the smoke billowing around him like little grey clouds. That's how he knew - he had seen me coming in. He was bent over the windowsill, his head poking outside while the window doors hanged on either side of him.

He was wearing a pair of black jeans and nothing on top. His muscles tensed as he recognised my presence in the room.

His eyes were now on me, so penetrating and unapologetically hazel. He rested his elbow on the windshield, and took a long drag from his cigarette. My eyes wandered around his naked body and I gulped. I laid my eyes on him.

Just like I always did.

" Uh... I just came to check up on you." I said, my voice small.

" I told you that you don't have to keep doing this. " His lips curved downwards. " I'm fine."

" You're not, Kartik. You're anything but fine." I replied. He looked straight at me. A moment of silence passed. None of us said anything.

" Have you eaten anything yet?" I said, trying to look at anything else than his naked torso. My heart beat fast.

" Yeah.... I ate some cereal in the morning." He said, looking queerly at me. My eyes wandered to his naked torso again.

" Um..."

He put out the cigarette on the windowsill and threw it outside. The distance that seperated us was closed when he walked towards the bed, stopping in front of me. " Do you want me to put a shirt on?"

My eyes travelled up to his hazel brown eyes. " Please?"

He chuckled softly as he walked towards the bureau and yanked open a drawer to look for a shirt. Once he found some old black t-shirt, he pulled it over his head and covered his beautiful body. Suddenly I could breathe again.

" Done." He said, smilingly.

He walked over to me again. " Do you regret what happened the other day?"

He was talking about the kiss. I gulped. We hadn't discussed about that because of the events that unfolded in the past week. But now he was addressing it, and now I didn't know what to say.

Regret it? How could I ever regret something I had been dreaming about my whole life? How could I regret Kartik Malhotra kissing me, willingly, without a trace of mockery ?

There were several words in my throat, but they refused to come out. My silence was deafening.

His smile faded , his eyes dimmed as he was hit with realisation. "Fuck , you do."

I realised I had to do something.
" We can talk about that later. At first, let's get you some food to eat. Come on, I brought your favourite chilli fries and tuna sandwich today."

I turned on my heels to leave for downstairs but his hands gripped on my hand and swished me around. I landed against his chest, my eyes widening with the impact. My heart beat faster than a treadmill on the highest speed.

" Look into my eyes and tell me. Tell me that you didn't feel anything when I kissed you. Tell me , Siya." He said, his eyes digging deep into mine like claws. My breath hitched in my throat. I couldn't speak. I couldn't breathe. All I could feel was his warm body against my palm, which now rested on his chest. His words settled in my mind. But words accumulated in my throat, disappearing when they couldn't find a voice to utter their simple request.

" Kartik, I....."

The sound of two simultaneous bell rung. I jumped in anticipation, away from him. He furrowed his brows.

" Who could come at this hour?"

Saying that, he trailed downstairs, I followed behind him. The bell rang twice more before he peeped in through the peep hole and then proceeded to open the door.

Himanshu, along with Veronica, Zoya and Ahaan stood at the front door. Their eyes had a solemn and angry glow. I feared the worst.

" Guys , what's going on? Come in." Kartik said and opened the door to let them in. Once they were inside, he closed the door behind him and came and stood near the couch.

" Kartik, how are you now?" Veronica asked in a gentle tone.

" I'm okay, doing better than last week at least." Kartik responded. Veronica gave him a tight lipped smile.

" I'm glad you're feeling better, Kartik. We are sorry to come so unannounced. Actually we found something-" Ahaan said before Himanshu cut him off, taking a step closer to me. " How could you not tell me?"

I gulped. " Wha-at?"

" Tell you? Tell you what? Himanshu, what's going on? " Kartik asked, looking back and forth between me and Himanshu.

" I think Siya would be able to tell you that, ain't I right, Siya?" Himanshu sneered.

And just like that, with those few words, the lie broke and reality set in.

And my guilt returned with a burning rage.

___________

dedicated to my lovely friend and supporter Sparkle_AK
happy birthday ✨

_______________