Song of the chapter is You were good to me by Jeremy Zucker and Chelsea Cutler

-26-
- Avinash Mittal-
-Present-

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Delmore High
1 December, 2019
2:45 pm

" May his soul rest in eternal peace. Amen."

Three sonorous chimes emitted from the church bells as Principal Matthews finished his speech. He stood beside the candle lit podium where Vivaan Dissena's potrait stood , gazing at me.

The school had decided to do a memorial service for the departed soul at the last moment. And so here we were now, offering our respects and condolences to the guy whom we passed everyday in hallways, with whom we joked about stuff, whom we often made fun of, whom we didn't know.

People came forward one by one, offering flowers by the memoriam and paying their respects for the deceived. A soft chuckle almost erupted from my lips; It's funny how people seem to only care about you once you're dead.

Guess as Anne Frank said, " Dead people receive more flowers than the living ones because regret is stronger than gratitude "

It was my turn to offer my respects. I took slow and gradual steps towards the memorium and rested Vivaan's football jersey near his potrait. I promised at that moment I would remember him as the jolly good teammate that he was.

I felt someone squeeze my shoulder slightly.

I turned around. Saina stood there, clad in all black , looking at me. Her gloated eyes showed evidence of the fact that she had been crying. She offered me a tight lipped smile and proceeded to put the red rose that she held in her hand on the podium.

We walked back to the bleachers where the rest of them stood.

" This is such a big hoax. I can't believe people like to pretend so much." Zoya sneered , watching the rest of the students mourn.

" Zoya, can you not insensitive now please-" Kartik began.

" I'm not being insensitive, Kartik. I'm being perfectly reasonable. These people didn't care about Vivaan when he was alive. They made fun of him for his dorky nature even though he was in the football team for god's sake! And now that he's dead, they're cursing his name, wishing he stayed?" Zoya said.

Kartik stayed silent. Words didn't need to be uttered to understand that we all agreed with Zoya.

" I guess.... pretending does people cope with guilt." Saina said , looking at the crowd in front of her.

I couldn't exactly pinpoint but there was something off about her today. The girl standing beside me with empty eyes and dark circles was not who she was.

" Uh... after you guys left yesterday, I stayed up for a while, figuring out what to do next. And.... I came up with something. But it is risky." Veronica uttered.

Kartik heaved, " That's alright, Veronica. Our lives are in danger anyway, we might as well find some answers in the process."

A silent agreement was shared.

" So....we have three places where there is a possibility of finding any clue related to the guy that she was planning on escaping with." Veronica said, and looked at Himanshu. He nodded. " One, her room. And second,....the Wentworth woods which is behind the school. And third,...Oakwood beach."

I quirked a brow but before I could ask my question, Zoya asked, "What would we find in Oakwood beach?"

Veronica glanced at her. " That's where they found her body. "

Siya shivered, " Can't we just tell the cops? I mean, they're already investigating, right? "

" So that psycho serial killer could come and kill us all? Seriously, Siya , haven't you ever watched Pretty Little Liars? " Zoya rolled her eyes.

Siya pursed her lips but said nothing.

" The cops are not gonna help, Siya. They're desperate to find the killer and they'll put anyone in the jail who is even remotely connected to the night that Alishka went missing." Kartik reasoned. Siya looked at him for a moment and nodded.

Wow, that was easy.

" Kartik's right. We need to do this ourselves. And for that, we need to split up-" Veronica said.

" Said no one who ever survived a horror movie ever!" Ahaan shot back at her.

" I didn't mean it that way , Ahaan. I meant...we need to split up the work." Veronica said and turned towards Kartik and Siya.
" Kartik, Siya...you guys go check Alishka's room. Since Kartik lives in the same house, it'll be easier for you to find things."

" What kind of things are we looking for?" Kartik asked.

" Anything personal that the cops haven't taken yet. Diaries, receipts, her laptop, etc....where she could've mentioned something about the guy." Veronica replied. She had really thought this through.

Kartik nodded and looked back and forth between Siya and Veronica. "Okay."

Veronica gave him a slight nod and turned towards Zoya. " Zoya, you and Ahaan go to the school's security room and review the footage of the night that she went missing."

" Wait- that footage is still here in the school?" Ahaan almost shrieked.

" But didn't we disable the cameras that night? " Himanshu asked.

" We did. We disabled the cameras that were installed inside the school building. But the cameras outside were left untouched." Veronica said.

" Exactly, and plus the reason the footage is still there is because the cops still don't know that Alishka was last seen there. They still think she was abducted from her house. That's why they haven't looked into the camera footage of the school." I added.

Veronica nodded.

" Okay...all of that made sense but V , are you sure we should do this? I mean if we get caught, we could be punished. Or worse, expelled." Ahaan said nervously.

Zoya rolled her eyes. " Man-child, I swear to god-"

" What? I'm serious!" Ahaan narrowed his eyes.

" Ahaan,you won't get caught, okay? School's already over anyways. There wouldn't be anyone here other than Principal Matthews and god knows he doesn't move from his chair unless it is an emergency. You'll be fine." Himanshu reasoned.

Ahaan sighed. " This is the second illicit thing you're making me do in two days. Once all this is over, you two are going to pay for this, I swear."

Veronica smiled comfortably while Himanshu mockingly rolled his eyes.

" Okay, back to the plan. While you guys do that, Moose and I will go to the Wentworth woods  to investigate and see if we find anything." Veronica announced and Himanshu, smiling slightly, nodded.

" Uh... Veronica, I think you forgot two people." I said, raising my hand.

Veronica glanced at me and Saina and nodded briskly, " Right, sorry. Avinash...you and Saina can go to the Oakwood beach to see if you find something. It is no longer an active crime scene so don't worry about the cops, they wouldn't be there."

" And since it's winter, the chance beachcombers and most tourists would be gone by 4. So you don't have to worry about them either." Himanshu added.

" Alright then, we have a plan." I said. " Now let's get going, shall we?"

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The sky had begun to get cloudy again and little silver threads had started to make their way down, chasing each other on the car's window. The car was warm. But the girl sitting next to me seemed colder than ever.

As I put on my seatbelts, she uttered in a soft voice, " I need to talk to you."

I looked over at her. Her eyes were fixated on the fabric of her black skirt as her fingers dug through the loose strands of the cloth.

" What about?"

" About us."

I lowered my eyes and fixated them towards the car's windshield. "What about us?"

" I don't think I can do this anymore." She replied in a faltering voice.

I closed my eyes in anticipation. I knew where this was going.
"Why not?"

" Because it just....it just doesn't feel right anymore. With her gone.....it feels like I'm wronging her." She cried.

I scoffed. " Wronging her?" I looked at her as I held her arm.
" She was pregnant with someone else's baby , Saina. I don't think she ever cared for me. So why should you feel like you're wronging her? "

She refused to look at me. Her lips quivered as she said,
" I...just... I don't know.... something in me keeps telling me....that this is wrong. That all this is my fault."

" What? Saina, it isn't your fault." I said.

She looked at me , her eyes glistening. " Then why does it feel like it is?"

I sighed slightly and kissed her forehead. " Saina, look at me. None of this is your fault, okay? Please stop blaming yourself for her death."

She broke down, crying as I held her close to my chest.

" I'm sorry, Avi. But... I can't." She sniffled.

She moved away from me and wiped her tears. I turned my gaze away from her, looking at the windshield again.

" So what's gonna happen to us?" I asked.

" I still love you. I will always do. But I'm afraid.... I'm afraid that you don't. That someday you'll find someone better and....move on to them. Just like my father did." She said, her voice slightly less wavering.

I stayed silent as she continued,
" I was never your first choice. You chose her. You loved her. I was never supposed to be in the picture."

I lowered my gaze as I felt tears burning in the back of my eyes, wanting to be let out.

" And now that she's gone....it feels wrong...to be her replacement." I could feel her gaze lingering on me. " I don't want to be her replacement."

The rain pattered against the roof as more tear-shaped droplets graced the window of my car.

" And I deserve someone who can love me as much as I love them. I just don't think you can be that 'someone' right now." She said.

I pursed my lips together before nodding slowly, " If that's what you want." I said , my voice low and gruff.

" It's for the best." She said, trying to sound believing. " For both of us."

" So what? You're gonna leave now" I asked with no emotion, looking at the steering wheel.

" No. I wanna see the end of this. So I'm gonna accompany you to the beach." She said.

I scoffed. " Oh... please don't bother to do me a favor-"

" I'm not doing anyone any favours, Avi." She looked at me directly. "I'm doing this for my best friend. I don't care how she was or whether she was fucked up or not. She didn't deserve what came to her. No one does."

A moment of silence passed. Breathing a sigh, I shifted the gears and reversed out of the parking lot.

And at that moment, I realised that I had truly lost her. Lost myself.

In the end , Alishka Malhotra won. Taking our secrets with her, taking my peace with her , taking both of our souls with her to the grave.

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