Song of the chapter is
Drivers Licence by Olivia Rodrigo

-25-
-Saina Arora-
-Present-

______________

D'Rosario Residence
1 December, 2019

12:34 am

A surge of emotions surpassed my senses in a flicker of a second. And I almost found myself drowning in each of them.

I felt salty tears trickling down my face as I moved away from Avinash. I couldn't breathe for a solid second. My heart felt constricted at the mere thought of Alishka being pregnant with his baby.

Kartik was on his feet in a second , looking like he was ready to punch Avinash senseless. Siya held on to the fabric of his shirt to keep him from going any further.  “HOW DARE YOU?!”.

Avinash had his fists balled up on either side but he face remained surprisingly passive. “Kartik , listen to me-"

“No, I will not listen to what you say! She was fucking 17! How could you get her pregnant?!” Kartik roared.

“ It isn’t like that, okay?! It’s not possible….” Avinash said, his face painted in confusion.

“ What is not possible?! What are you implying at?!” Kartik enquired.

“ It, Kartik! That baby isn’t mine! We never did it!” Avinash said angrily. All of us looked at him with several questions on our faces. “ What? Why are you guys looking at me like that? I’m telling the truth , okay? Even though Alishka and I were a couple, we never….went there. She never let me.”

I looked at him with my reddened eyes, a surge of relief filled up my heart.

“Well, then whose is it?” Kartik questioned.

“ I don’t know , Kartik, okay? I don’t know who your sister went fooling around with behind my back, okay?!” Avinash said, raising his voice a little. He grumbled as he sank down in the couch. Kartik looked equally exhausted.

“ Saina, you were her best friend , right? Did she tell you anything about anyone?” Himanshu enquired. Everyone’s eyes were now fixated at me.

“ No, she never mentioned anyone specifically. She used to fool around with a lot of guys in our school. But I don’t think any of them could’ve done this.” I said and gulped.

“ We can’t wipe out any possibility. Whoever this guy is….has a role to play in this whole ordeal. This person could’ve….killed her to keep her mouth shut about the pregnancy.” Veronica said in a low voice. A shiver went down my spine at the thought of that.

“ What if it’s not somebody from school?” Ahaan began. We all looked at him as he continued. “ I mean…the reports says that she was two weeks pregnant. If she was two weeks pregnant, then she probably met this guy back in summer.”

“ And…don’t forget that she spiked our drinks that night so she could escape with  that person. But after she disappeared , almost everyone in the school was present. Which rules out the possibility that it could be someone from school because why would someone kill Alishka and then just come back to school where hundreds of cops are there. They’ll probably wanna stay below the radar. ” Zoya finished.

“ Yeah, Zoya…but the thing is…this person we’re dealing with here is a psychopath. They have the ability to blend in and pretend that they’re just like us. You wouldn’t know that they are a killer even though you pass them every day in the halls. They are that smart.” Veronica replied. My breath hitched in my throat.

“ Can we continue this discussion later?” Siya pleaded, her eyes darting towards an exhausted Kartik. “Please.”

Veronica nodded, “ Yeah, Siya’s right. We’ll talk about this later. You guys should get going. It’s half past midnight already.”

“ Are you going to be okay alone?” Himanshu asked her. Veronica looked at him for a moment and nodded.

Everyone took this as a cue to leave. We bade Veronica goodbye and returned to our respective cars. I started the ignition of mine and looked out the window. Avinash looked so torn apart that for a moment all I wanted to do was just run to him and wrap him in my arms. But I decided against that.

As I drove through the suburbs , still processing the news, tears started flowing again, staining my face. The pain settling in my heart went numb, as well as the rest of my body. Guilt clawed at my insides, shredding and shredding until all my secrets were in full display, resting on the tip of my tongue to set loose.

What kind of a friend was I?

________________

At the Arora residence , mornings always felt like they were drenched in a gloomy essence.

I stood up from the bed, parting the curtains and opened the window. Sunlight spilled across the wooden floors.

But the momentary pleasure was short lived as I heard the sound of my father’s disgruntled remarks and my mother’s feigned concerned responses. It was a tune I knew all too well.

My parents separated back when I was 12. My father moved out of the house but his claim over us never really ended. Don’t be fooled though. By claim I refer to the control he exercised over us , financially. We were dependent on him because my mother was too lazy to get a job and she preferred luxury over dignity. I didn’t have any say because I wasn’t 18 yet.

He didn’t love us. I realized this back when I was 15 when he stopped visiting us altogether except for the occasional pay-check visits. On my 15th birthday, I had thrown a party and invited all my friends. Everyone was there except my dad. I stayed up till midnight, waiting by the porch steps for him to come and hug me and yell happy birthday. But he never came. When I woke up the next day, I found his text message on my phone wishing me a happy birthday. Two words. That’s all I got from him.

I stopped hoping for him to return then. Cause hope only ever gave me eternal misery.

I put on my sweater and went out of my room. As I walked down the steps leading to the living room, the voices grew louder and I could hear clearly what the conversation was about.

My mother clenched her jaw,
“ Vikrant…."

“ For Jesus Christ, Jahnvi , could you not start another argument?” My father pinched his nose in irritation.

They stopped talking, for a moment , I thought they would scold me for eavesdropping. I looked up and met my mother’s gaze. “ Saina…”, she said as she registered my presence. My father turned and looked at me.

“ Good morning, sweetheart-”

“ Why are you here?” I asked.

My father smiled----- fatherly, gentle. “ Come here.” He said quietly.

I hesitated. My mother was standing across from him, on the opposite end of the table. I walked up to him and he awkwardly wrapped his arms around me. I didn’t reciprocate. He pulled back a moment later and gently caressed my face,
“ How are you?”

A lump formed in my throat.
“ I’m….okay.”

He smiled slightly. “ I brought you something special from London. Your gift’s on the table.”

“ Why are you really here dad?” I asked again.

My dad’s smile lessened a bit and looked at my mother. With a clenched jaw, my mother turned her face away from him. Dad sighed.

“ I have some…news.” He said.

“ Oh cut the crap Vikrant! And be a man for once! You don’t even have the balls to tell your daughter the truth!” My mother shouted. I looked back and forth between them.

“ Tell me what? What’s going on , dad?” I asked frantically.

My dad breathed heavily and looking at me, he said,
“ I’m….getting married, Saina.”

My mind went numb for a split second as I struggled to process the information. An involuntary gasp escaped my lips as I looked at him. I took a step back as a silent sob escaped my lips.

“ What?”

My father looked at me guiltily, like he had been caught for a crime he had committed. “ It’s true.”

I blinked rapidly. “ To whom?”

“ Roshni.” he replied.

The name felt familiar although I couldn't exactly pin point on it. Seeing my confused face, dad responded, " She is a family friend."

I looked at him , slowly coming out of my trance and asked,
" When?"

He gulped and softly uttered, " In two weeks."

I looked at him in disbelief, " Two weeks?.....and you didn't even bother to tell me?"

" I was out for a business trip, Saina. Come on, you knew that , right?" He said nonchalantly.

I scoffed slightly. " So you're here to invite us?"

" Well...yes. That of course. But...." His voice trailed off.

My mother cackled in her seat as she sipped her morning coffee,
" Go ahead, Vikrant. Tell her why you're really here."

My father clenched his jaw but stayed calm. " Don't make it any harder than it is , Jahnvi."

" Oh it is hard for you? To tell your daughter that you're abandoning her?!" My mother sneered.

That left me agape. I held my father's gaze unwaveringly but he looked away. " Abandoning me?"

"Don't listen to her , Saina." My father began.

" Well then tell me what's the truth?" I questioned.

My father's face settled in an unfamiliar emotion as he looked at me and replied, " Saina,.... I'm going to start a new family with Roshni in two weeks. Her whole responsibility as well as her daughter's responsibility will be on me."

" Wait...she has a daughter too?" I asked. My father nodded. "Her name's Ruhi. She's a very nice girl. I'm sure if you meet her, you'll really like her."

I resisted the urge to roll my eyes.

" Anyways, as I was saying....their responsibility will be on me. Both financially and otherwise. And it might not be possible for me to... support both you guys and them altogether."

I breathed heavily. I knew where this was going and something told me I would not want to hear it.

" So what are you suggesting?" I asked.

" I'm saying...20,000 rupees per month. That's all I can provide you from now on." My dad said.

I inhaled a shaky breath. My hands were trembling. I felt sick. I could feel the bile crawling up my throat as I steadied myself, my knuckles turned white. I felt sick from my head to my feet; my insides were swirling, my head was aching and my blood was boiling. My muscles were hurting and tears burned in the back of my eyes, waiting for a release.

I wanted to scream at him.

" Saina?"

I broke out of my trance and looked at him , then at my mother. Her face was devoid of any emotion as she held on to her coffee mug, glancing occasionally at me and dad.

" Okay, let me get this straight." I began in a feeble voice. " When you and mom got divorced, you promised me that it wouldn't affect our relationship. That I wouldn't be any less of your daughter than I was then. And now..... you're getting a whole new family.....and you're providing for them.....so...where does this leave us?"

" Saina, you're still my daughter-"

" Don't!" I shouted, breaking.
" Don't call me your daughter!"

My father stood still, his eyes widened. I let my tears ricochet as I yelled, " A father cares for his daughter! A father protects his daughter if any danger befalls her! A father guides his daughter on which stream she should take for higher studies! A father comes home for his daughter's birthday! A father loves his daughter! And YOU DID NONE OF THAT!"

He stayed silent. My mother sniffled as a few tear drops stained her rosy cheeks.

" So don't call me your daughter! Cause you don't deserve to be my father!" I finished.

My dad drew a shaky breath and handed me his kerchief. I refused. We all stood still for a solid moment, trying to encompass the ruins that we were left with.

" Leave." I said, as I wiped my tears. My father looked at me with widened eyes.

" Saina-"

" I said leave!" I yelled. He looked at me in disbelief. " We neither want your money nor you. Oh and yes, have a great life with your new family."

My tears had stopped by then. My reddened cheeks stained with the leftover tears, had become dry. My hands had stopped trembling. I closed my eyes , exhausted.

And when I opened them again, he was gone. He was going back to her, back to his new family, back to a life I was no part of.