Finally his father had run out of tears and the two sat, closer than they'd ever sat before. Holding each other as father and son should. In the way Seonghwa's father had never held him.

He stood and moved back to his own chair. He felt ice creeping into his bones. The feeling of his father holding him felt unfamiliar. Not wrong, but new.

"If you loved me so much, why didn't you ever show me?"

Seonghwa knew the question was bold, but this was his chance to get answers.

"I don't know. I should have. I guess my father and I were never very close either. The most words we ever shared between us were curt corrections of my posture or behavior, or—when I was a perfect son—a good job. I always thought that his harsh nature had been what made me who I was today but clearly I was wrong. It made me an emotional wreck. When the fire happened, that was my first big mistake. And I remembered his words to keep my emotions in check, to not be ruled by them. So I tried. And it hurt me a lot more than it helped. That's why these past few years, I've been trying to become a little closer to you."

Seonghwa smiled softly.

"I know it's not much but I—I really don't know how to be a father. I didn't know how to—to love my boy. Even just talking about these things with you feels—wrong. It takes everything in me not to just close up."

"I know. I—I do that too."

His father looked up at him and Seonghwa saw his eyebrows turn in pity.

"I'm sorry, it's my fault."

"I know. But—I've actually met someone who's helped me—you know, open up."

His father raised his eyebrows and Seonghwa felt his eyes sparkle.

"A friend??"

"More than a friend," Seonghwa admitted, his cheeks blushing a bit.

"Oh?" His father said with a playful grin.

"It's someone I met while working at the company as a staff member."

"You made a move pretty fast then! I knew once I let you out into the world the girls would be all over you!" he teased, but Seonghwa flinched at the word girls.

He hadn't ever come out to his father before. It hadn't even occurred to him to do so. His father wasn't someone he'd ever share something so intimate with. It felt like a boundary they weren't allowed to cross. He'd told his mother but he didn't know if she would tell him or not.

"Actually..." Seonghwa started but felt awkward. He had just made up with his father. What if this was something he couldn't accept?

He shook his head. That wasn't his problem. Whether or not his father accepted it, Seonghwa would stick by Hongjoong. He didn't need his approval.

He took a deep breath.

"It's actually a boy. Not a girl."

His father seemed surprised and was quiet for a moment. Seonghwa felt the urge to bite his lip but didn't. He wanted to stay in control of the conversation.

"You're gay? Or—I don't know if you have a label, I have a hard time keeping up with these things. How did I not know?"

Seonghwa was a bit relieved. It wasn't a direct assault. But it wasn't everything he'd hoped for. But he held strong.

"Because you never cared to ask."

His father looked hurt by his words and Seonghwa felt a little bad. But it was true.

"I'm sorry, son."

"It's...fine."

They sat in silence for a moment.

"So, when do I get to meet the lucky guy?"

Seonghwa tried not to let the rush of relief that overtook him get the best of him. He didn't want his father to see how much that meant to him. That his father would care enough to meet his significant other, no matter what gender.

He took a calming breath and continued, only allowing a slight smile to creep onto his lips.

"It depends. He's not a big fan of you."

"And he works at my company?? That's a bit hurtful."

Seonghwa wanted to laugh but he knew Hongjoong's feelings were well-deserved. He knew Hongjoong had every right to be mad.

"What's wrong? Did something happen that I don't know about? Tell me. I want to fix it."

"You can't fix it. And it's not something you don't know about. It's something...you know very well."

His father seemed confused but his mind was making connections.

"He's Kim Lia's son."

His father took a seat, his former playfulness had fallen completely.

"He's actually the man you thought was a spy. And—he actually was a spy. I know it's confusing but, he was trying to find out my identity for JYP but we ended up falling for each other and...he told me everything. They told him that you covered the whole thing up and they convinced him that you were really a monster."

"Well, they're not wrong."

"Dad."

Seonghwa's father looked up in surprise at the same time as Seonghwa. He'd never called his father Dad before. Daddy when he was younger, but once he'd grown out of that, it was always Father.

"Sorry."

"No! Don't apologize! I actually...like Dad. If that's okay with you?"

Seonghwa smiled a bit.

"Okay."

He felt a rush of childish joy at being able to refer to him so casually. But it was crushed quickly when he remembered their conversation.

"I'll talk to him first. I'll tell him what you told me. Maybe he'll be understanding but...I'm not sure. He's dedicated his whole life to her and—I don't think he'll take it well. Give me time. I don't want to hurt him by rushing him into it."

"Alright. Whatever you need. I don't want to be the reason you two fall apart."

"Thanks...Dad."

Both smiled and Seonghwa moved to leave but his father walked around his desk and wrapped his arms around him once more, holding him firm. Seonghwa was startled but he leaned into it, his cheek resting on his father's shoulder.

"I figured if we were going to start being closer, we should be doing this more often."

"I would agree," Seonghwa smiled.

Somehow everything was turning out okay and falling apart at the same time. He had his father. And his father was trying for him. Trying to be better. He'd been honest with him for once. He'd been raw and emotional.

And yet, now Seonghwa was going to have to face Hongjoong and break his heart. To tell him his father wasn't the evil villain he could blame for everything. Though he definitely deserved his hatred for what he'd done to him and his family, they couldn't take him down for it. He was facing his wrongs and working to get better.

He was a good man. At least, he was trying to be.

He wasn't sure Hongjoong would take the news well at all.