Jesús Manuel,

We haven't spoken a word to each other, or even seen each other, since that day in which I found out you were a married man. You called me many times, but I didn't answer my phone. You visited twice as much as you called, but I changed the locks in the apartment so you wouldn't get in. It doesn't matter much really because I'll be moving out in a few days and you'll have your apartment back. Perhaps you will bring a new girl here, and you will lie to her about your life as well. And she will be so stupidly in love with you, as I was, that she will never question why you won't kiss her in public. Or why you only visit once a week.

I cannot stay in this apartment. I don't want to stay in the place where you lied to me for so long.

How could you do this to me? At the risk of sounding whiny and self-absorbed...what did I ever do for you to do something like this?

But more importantly, how could you do this to your wife and son? Gabriela loves you so much, I have seen the way she talks about you, and Jesús Gabriel looks up to you. Too bad his father turned out to be a dirty cheater.

I love you, Jesús Manuel. I still do.

But you don't deserve the love I have for you, much less the love your family has for you.

I hope you can realize what you did was wrong. I hope you learn from this mistake before it's too late, before you lose everything you love and hold dear to you.

You already lost me, but perhaps you never really loved me to begin with and it makes no difference to you. Maybe every time you said you loved me you didn't mean it and thought of your wife while we were in bed together. Or maybe you were just looking for fun, and something temporary that was of no emotional importance. Maybe its just me holding onto the last sliver of hope in you, in us, but when you said you loved me, and when you kissed me, I felt it and I saw it. It was real.

There is nothing I can do about it now.

You are married and I have to let you go because though I love you with all my heart, I learned to love Gabriela as well. She doesn't deserve what you're doing to her. But somehow, you're the only one who doesn't really end up losing in all of this.

How fortunate you must be feeling right now.

Sincerely,

Edda Van Horn.

-

the next one is the last letter, and im really debating on whether we should have it written by tecadios. i think it would bring a good close to this story. but i had already one written from edda's point of view. maybe i'll just write one for teca. it might be more interesting to see one written in his pov for once in this whole story because right now he looks like a douche. 

anyway, i hope you all liked the story. 

thank you so much for reading. the next in the letters series will be named 'anxiety' and it will be about carlos fierro. and the one after that will be about another liga mx footballer so let me know your nominations. 

i kinda want to write it about victor milke or antonio briseno.

-clary xx