Gideon POV

Before I go to the airport hotel to stay for the night before my flight tomorrow, I decide to go to every place where Mew and I spend time together. I don't want to, but my feet aren't listening to me. The next thing I know, I'm already at Laem Charoen! It's a seafood restaurant near INF. Mew knows how much I love eating seafood. Even though he doesn't like eating this kind of food, especially raw food, he is adjusting so much just to satisfy my craving.

How can I continue to live now if I have already decided to leave my heart with him? He has been my life reason for more than ten years. What should I do now? Can I continue without him in my life? Can I still be happy?

I also did go to that Lakeside, where I brought Mew before. It's become our place when we found a secret place on this lakeside that no one else knew because It's very far from the main road. We did go here last month for our 2nd month anniversary. Mew surprised me to have a picnic here because he knows how much I missed doing it. My parent and I always do this every Sunday after going to church.

It's 10:00 pm already, but here I am, walking alone. I can't help but cry while I reminisce about those moments with him. It's all going to be memories now. Just memories! I'm so lost without you, Mew! I feel like I'm living without meaning. Am I still able to live without you? Did I make the right decision to set you free?

I want to be selfish, Mew! God knows how much I want to be with you and have you for myself, but what about you? What about your future? What about your dreams? You want a perfect life, Mew, and I know I can never give you that. I can't help but think and wish. Are you going to find me? Are you going to feel lonely too if I wasn't there with you, Mew?

Are you? I love you so much, Mew! I do! It breaks my heart to leave you.

God, please help me get through this. I need to leave for him to be able to live.

~~~

Marcus POV

I'm so speechless reading his letter! What is this? Why is he talking like this? What happened? I don't understand! No! No! No! Not again! I can't lose you too! Please, baby! Please don't leave me too! Where did you go? Where are you? Please, Baby! Please, I can't live without you! I was able to survive when Allyssa left me because you were there, but I can't survive this!

I tried calling him, but he was not answering! I'm starting to break down again, but I know I can't. I can't lose my mind now because if I do, Gulf will truly be gone from me. I can't lose him. I can't! I don't know where to find him. He doesn't have any friends here in Thailand that I know. His friend Sean had already migrated to the US with his boyfriend, Jack.

I hurriedly stepped out of our unit to find him. I don't know where to start! I'm panicking already! Baby! Where are you? Please come back to me! I'm sorry! Is this because of what happened earlier when I rejected you to have a date with me? I'm going to accept any punishment but not this. I can't survive this!

I am currently driving everywhere, I tried going to the office, but he is not there also. I tried calling Ms. Anne. Maybe she knows where he is, but she does not know too. I tried calling Mom, but she was not answering. I tried going to his previous home, but he was not there! I was trying to find him nonstop, but I didn't notice that it was already 6 in the morning, and then I decided to go to my parent's house. I don't know if they are home because when I called last night, only the maid answered and told me that my parent was not home yet. I will have to gamble now! I can't think of any other person who might know where he is.

When I arrived home, thankfully, my Mom was home!

"Mom!" I called her

"Oh Mew, what are you doing here in this early morning? Oh god! You look like a mess! What happen to you!" I know I look like a mess. I haven't even changed the clothes that I wore yesterday. I don't care about anything right now.

"Mom, did you know where Gulf is right now!" I asked her as I noticed how her expression had changed. She knows something! I knew it!

"No, how would I know where he is? Isn't he with you?" She said but not looking at my eyes. I know If she's lying, Gulf is like her. he cannot look at me directly if he is hiding or lying about something.

"Don't lie to me, Mom. I know you know where he is! I can tell if you're lying, mom! Please tell me!" I slightly shouted at her

"Mew! You don't have to shout at me" She looked shocked at how I acted on her. I tried to fix my voice and expression and speak to her again.

"I'm sorry, Mom. But please, I'm begging you if you know where he is. Please tell me! I'm begging you, please! Please, mom!" I went down on my knees and started crying

Please, I need to find Gulf. I feel like every second passing by, the lesser the possibility that I will see him.

"Oh, God! Mew, why are you acting like this?" She looks at me so worried

"Please, Mom! I'm begging you! Please tell me! I need to find Gulf! I need to talk to him."

She looks so hesitant at the same time; she's looking at me full of concern.

"Yes! Mew! I'm telling you where Gulf is, but you must stand up. I can't see you like this, son. Please stand up now!" I immediately stand up and face my mom.

"Please tell me, mom!" I'm feeling desperate now. I need to know where he is.

"Okay! Okay! I don't know where he is exactly. He didn't tell me where he would be right now. All I know is that last night he agreed to our offer to go to Switzerland; he called me to book him a flight there first thing in the morning. His flight was later, 7:30 AM. He made me promise not to tell you because he doesn't want you to stop him, but I can bear seeing you like this. Why? Is something going on?"

What? Switzerland? I thought he already said no to that! No! No! No! I was shocked to know about it, but at 7:30 am? I checked my watch. Fuck, it's already 6:15 am!

"I'm sorry, mom, but I need to go! I need to go!" I didn't wait for her reply and immediately rode my car to the airport. I could still hear her calling my name, but I ignored her. I can't waste any more time. I need to go to the airport! I can't let him go! I speed up my car, not minding the other vehicles.

Baby, I know you don't want me speeding like this, but I need to. I need to go to you! I can't let you go! Thankfully there aren't so many cars on the road because it's only nearly 7:00 in the morning. When I arrived, I immediately parked my car and tried to find him.

I check the time, and it was 7:10. God! It's nearly 7:30. What should I do? As I was running inside the airport, I saw a man who looked like Gulf from behind. I run into him.

"Gulf!" I grabbed his shoulder and made him face me. I was disappointed because he is not Gulf!

"What?" He spoke.

"I'm sorry; I thought you were someone I knew." I left and continued to find him. It was nearly 7:30, but I was still unable to find Gulf. I feel so frustrated now.

Baby, please. Where are you? Baby, please come back to me! I'm now near Gate 3 of the airport! I'm feeling so hopeless now!

"Gulf!" I shouted all I could! Hoping that he will hear me. I don't care if I'm currently making a scene now! I need to find him!

"Gulf! Gulf!" but still nothing.

I feel like all my energy has left me, that my legs have given up on me. I'm now sitting at the Airport ground looking so helplessly.

Is this it?

Did he leave me, just like Allyssa? Why do people I love end up leaving me? Why? Am I that hurtful? I'm just crying here by myself! I feel so hopeless! He's gone! My love leaves me again. I'm alone again!

"Mew?" I hear someone call my name from behind. I immediately turned around to see who it was.

~~~

Gideon POV

I got up at precisely 6 am. It's been my body clock to get up around this time, usually to take care of Mew before going to the office. We are always together, but now it's different. Everything will be different!

I got my phone on the top of the table beside me. I didn't open it because I knew it would be flooded with Mew's message to me. I can't waver now! I need to do this for both of us.

But why do I feel like my life is starting to fade away? I cried my lungs out since I arrived at the hotel last night. I know my eyes are swollen now because of so much crying that I did. I thought I cried everything the previous night, but now that I'm awake, I can't help but cry again. my eyes keep tearing up! I feel like I can't breathe every time I try to move.

It's just one night that I'm not with him! One night, but I already missed him so much. I miss my Mew. I miss him so much!

As I was showering, I still couldn't stop myself from crying. How can I control it? How do I stop? I feel like my heart is breaking, and the difference now is that I'm the one who chooses to break it when I decide to let him go.

After I finish fixing myself if can you call this a fix? Even though I still looked like a mess and had no energy to carry my bags, I still tried to move and called the Airport hotel Staff to help me. I know they must be curious about why I look like this but thankfully, they mind their own business because I don't think I can speak now without crying.

I'm currently at the Airport near gate three, waiting for my flight schedule, which is 7:30. This is it! I'm finally going away from everything. From everyone. Most especially from Mew. I'm finally letting him go for good. It's not that I'm tired of fighting for him, but I don't think I should anymore. I can't just think about myself. I can't make myself continue being selfish about him. I need to think about his future, even if it's not with me.

As I was about to enter gate 3, I heard someone calling my name. I tried to ignore it at first.

"Gulf! Gulf!" I heard it again. I stopped to give my flight details to the gate personnel. I turned around to see whom the person calling my name was. I was shocked to see who it was.

"Mew?" He is sitting on the ground, crying my name. Gosh! What is he doing here? He looks like a child and so helpless. What happened to you?

Maybe he heard me calling his name. He looked so shocked when he saw that I had called him. He immediately got up and ran to me. I knew I couldn't face him, so I turned around to continue to walk away. I can't continue to be with him.

I can't! I'm sorry, Mew! I'm sorry! But I failed because he was already hugging me so tight from behind! Like he is afraid that I'm going to run away from him.

"Gulf! Baby! Finally, I found you!"

TO BE CONTINUED