Gideon POV

Please Gulf! Stop hurting yourself. You cannot continue to be a martyr because he is crying again. Stop being stupid! My legs gave up on me, and I ended up sitting on the floor with him.

"Why are you doing this to me, Mew? I'm so tired of our setup! Did you know that? What are we, Mew? Tell me! What the hell are we? Best friends? Workmate? Fuck buddy? What? Would you mind telling me because I don't know anymore? I'm so hurt right now because of you! You keep pulling me just because I'm in love with you! Yes! I will admit it now! I love you, Mew! I love you so much that it's already killing me! I've been in love with you for a long time, but you keep breaking my heart. Did you know that? I've been just ignoring the fact that our relationship has no security! No label! Because I don't want to rush or pressure you! Yes, we are having sex all the fucking time, but that is just sex for you, right? Just sex? Yes! I told you before that It's my act to help you move on! But damn it, Mew! Don't you fucking kidding me and say you didn't know I did this because I love you! I'm the one who is here, Mew! I'm the one who is not and will never leave you, but you always choose to ignore me and my love for you. You just keep on hurting me! I have forgiven you so many times! I missed all the wrong things that you keep doing to me. I thought that being with you was enough! But Mew! It is too much! I can't keep doing this anymore! I can't keep putting myself on the side and waiting for you to notice me. I can't keep my heart from being hurt because I love you. Please, Mew! Please let go of me! Cause I don't know if I can survive if I let myself be with you anymore~ I know you will just be going to keep hurting me! Please let go of me! Please~" I am crying so hard while saying this to him. It finally happened! I finally told him that I loved him. I finally dare to say to him, but why now? Why in this fucking situation! When I already must leave him!

I was crying so hard when Mew suddenly hugged me. He is also crying so hard too!

"I'm so sorry, Gulf! I didn't mean to hurt you this way. I'm sorry for being a coward in telling you what I feel. I'm so sorry! I'm just scared to commit myself again. I'm just scared to let myself be in that situation. In a situation where I will give my all, then lose it again. I want to stop being the loyal one in a relationship. The one who will always sacrifice himself to be with the one I love. I don't want to be the one who will be left alone again. I nearly killed myself, Gulf. I nearly give up everything just because I can't take the pain of being hurt. I don't want to lose myself again. I'm sorry, Gulf! I'm so sorry, baby! Please forgive me! I'm begging you! Please stay with me! I promise I will change for you!" I let go of his hug. I was shocked by what I heard that I suddenly stopped crying after Mew's sudden confession to me. Did he mean?

"What do you mean? Do you love..." I asked him confidently. He didn't let me finish!

"Yes! Gulf! I love you! I fucking love you so much." He said to me.

What?

"You love me? When? How? Are you telling me this to stop me from running away from you?" I asked him.

"Yes! I love you, baby! I'm so sorry that I'm letting you know just now. I'm terrified, Gulf! You're my best friend! I don't want to lose you too. I chose not to pursue my feelings for you because I don't know if you will also love me. What if you don't love me too? What if you leave me too because of this? Those girls I entertain are just a distraction from what I truly feel for you, Gulf. I tried looking at them because I tried ignoring what I felt for you! Yes! I tried to have sex with them, but they are not you. No one made me feel the way you do. No one made me feel so excited and made me think possessively about them! The feelings of frustration, no one! Only you. I can only handle all of this for you. I tried ignoring my feelings, baby, because I'm afraid I will lose you if I push through about it. I thought we should remain best friends. I can't take losing you, Gulf! I can't lose you too. Never!"

I admit I was so shocked by what he is saying right now! I didn't expect him to feel this way toward me. I thought I was just a thing for him. An item that helps him move on from the pain of the past. We both have secrets because we fear losing each other if we speak about them.

"You're an idiot! You should have told me! Do you think I will let you fuck me just to help? Of course, it's because I love you!" I frustratedly pushed him.

"Yes, baby! I'm an idiot! I'm such a fucking idiot! Please forgive me, baby! Please!" I'm so happy right now! He loves me! He finally loves me! Omg! Many people might call me an idiot because I may end up being hurt again for being soft with Mew. That I forget everything he did in the past quickly just because he said he loved me. I'm an idiot for doing this, but I don't care! This is the love that I've wished for my whole life. I will be an idiot forever!

I want to scream! I want to hug him now, but I keep it to myself. I need to make something clear first.

"Are you sure, Mew? I'm gay, and you're straight. You only had girlfriends. So how..." He didn't let me finish.

"Baby, for these past months that we have been together, I realized that love has no gender. I love you not because you are gay but because you are you! I see how much you have cared for me for the past year, your patience with me; I feel you, baby; I see you. Thank you for staying with me even if I made it hard for you to do so because I'm trying to move on from the pain that Allyssa left in me. Thank you for helping me! Without you, I don't think I can survive anymore! That's when I started to notice how much beauty you have inside and out. You're perfect for me, baby! That is why I'm so jealous whenever I see you with another man. I had never felt this way before, even with Allyssa. I feel so possessive about you! I'm sorry if I choose to be afraid. If I choose not to give you the love you deserve, it is different now. I promise to reciprocate all the love you have given me, more than you expect. Be ready for me because I'm about to start." I immediately hugged him. Fuck! It is a dream come true.

" I love you, Mew! I love you so much!" I said to him happily. I started crying!

"I love you so much, baby! Please forgive me! I promise that I will not hurt you again!"

I let go of our hug and looked at him.

"Promise me! You will never have sex, flirt, touch, or even look at others anymore. Promise me that I'm the only one. Promise me you'll not hurt me, or you'll never see me again. I will go far away from you!" I said while looking him straight in the eye. He went nearer to me, capped my face with both hands, and spoke.

"I promise, Gideon Gulf Chantara! I promised that I would love only you! I will never have sex, flirt, touch, or even check other people anymore. You're my one and only baby from now on." he said.

"Just now?" I teased him.

"Now and forever!" I was so happy and satisfied with all his answers to me. Comfortable that I forget all the pain that I have earlier! I don't care! I'm so glad right now. Like over the moon happy!

If Sean knows about this, he will smack me hard on my head because I'm giving Mew a chance. I'm being a martyr and maybe Idiotically in love with him again, but what can I do? It is what my heart is saying. I know he hurt me so many times for me to give us a chance, but I know for myself that I'm irrevocably in love with him. That fact will never change. It is what I've wished for my whole life. To have him love me as a lover and as his best friend, this is our chance, and I will take it. I will risk everything for this chance. I don't know what the future holds for us, but I know I love him. I have loved him my whole life. And I'm so thankful that he loves me now! I can forget every hurt that he had caused me. I can forget everything, as in everything, just for me to have him!

He loves me! My best friend loves me! I cannot wish for anything anymore. I feel like I already have everything that I want. We hugged each other tightly when suddenly, Mew whispered something that made my heart more in love.

"Baby! I want to take you! Please make love to me, baby! " He said seductively. I didn't answer him. I just let go and started kissing him passionately.

Please, God! Don't ever take him away from me again. Please! We stand up from being on the floor. He grabbed my butt cheeks, signaling me to put my leg around his waist, so I did without breaking our kisses.

"Let's go now, babe!" He whispered to me.

"Where?" I tried to respond to him even though we were still panting because of that long, deep kiss we shared.

"Our bedroom!" He seductively said to me. I just nodded in answer. Why do I suddenly feel shy to look at him? How can he always look so hot?

He just smirked at me and then claimed my lips again. I just wrapped both of my arms around his nape and my legs around his body tightly to deepen our kiss. I felt him walk carefully on the way to our room without breaking our kiss.

We successfully entered our love nest, and the next thing I heard was him closing the door harshly!

TO BE CONTINUED

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