Gideon POV

After Mew and I talked, I decided to return to my desk to do all the necessary things for Mew's plan this Saturday. I can only sigh deeply, looking at my laptop and seeing all these preparations and stuff for Mew's proposal.

Am I doing the right thing? Is it okay for me to help Marcus prepare for his proposal to Allyssa even though I know I would be hurt after this? Can I not be selfish for one? I already know the answer to this! I'm doing the right thing for Marcus, but not for me. I can never be selfish because Mew would suffer if I did.

I know it's not for me, but I need to make all this as perfect as I imagine my love doing this to me. I didn't attend my class earlier for this. I had to ensure everything was ready, from the venue to the store where I would get the rings. Yes! I also choose the ring for him. It's so beautiful! I had chosen a simple platinum plated engagement ring with 2-carat diamonds as its center stone as Mew's proposal ring. I already know Allyssa's ring size because Marcus already provided it to me.

Mew wants to choose this himself, but he got so focused on his work. He wants to finish it all, so they have the following week for their vacation without worrying about any distraction from Mew's Work. I choose the ring that I like. I don't have Allyssa's preference. Maybe she likes extravagant rings, but to be safe. I prefer a simple one. Marcus can blame it on me if Allyssa does not like it. She can even give it to me! Fuck! How I wish!

Allyssa is so lucky with Marcus because I witness how much he loves her. He loves her more than anything or anyone in this world. I can see all of that, judging by how he treats her.

"Be happy, Gulf! Be pleased for him because finally! As Marcus said, he finally has the assurance he always wanted with Allyssa. You'll be going to be okay, Gulf! Everything is going to be okay. It's destiny's act. There is nothing you can do to stop it. You just had to accept and move on. Maybe find someone else too! Someone who will love you more than I love him! Someone who loves you first and can sacrifice everything to make you smile! In time, you will be okay! Hopefully!"

That's the line I always tell myself whenever I feel my tear will flow any minute or I will feel so hurt again. How can I not be? I'm not numb! But I need to get through this. I need to accept it! I don't have a choice but to abide and be there for him.

Because I've known Mew for so long, I already knew his liking. I planned everything according to his preference. I have known him since I started to walk and talk. All the things that his likes and dislikes are already embedded here in my heart and mind. To his favorite color, his favorite food, as in everything! I even know it more than him!

Marcus! I hope Allyssa will make you happy. Someplace in my heart wishes for Allyssa to say. No, but I know how much it will hurt Mew. It will surely kill him, so I want her to say Yes. For Mew! I hope she is the one. Fuck! I can't see you broken again. I can't take it! I can't bear to see you cry like last time. I know how much pain he can tolerate, but not this pain. I still remember how many tears he cried that day, just because he was unsure if Allyssa loved him enough. What more if she rejects him? His world will surely crumble at his feet. It's okay if it's me. But not you, Marcus. I can't take it if it's you!"

I pick up my phone to call someone.

"Hello"

"Hi, this is Casa Resto and Events Place. How may I help you?"

"Hi, this is Gideon Gulf Chantara! I called you yesterday to book your place for Saturday. I want to follow up about my booking for the restaurant."

"Ah yes, sir, your booking for Saturday is confirmed. Our events teams also received your email on how we should decorate the place, Sir. We'll call you on Saturday once the place is ready."

"Perfect, thank you for this."

"No worries, sir; thank you also for booking our Restaurant."

"Thank you!" Then I hang up. That is the restaurant I choose for Mew. The location where his proposal will happen is so beautiful, and the food is delicious. I imagine Mew proposed to me once in that place, but I never thought I would choose that place for Mew to propose, but for someone else.

So now, where the proposal is going to happen is okay. Now I must book the resort for their vacation. I searched for a resort mainly in the south because I know Marcus wants to go there. Gideon Gulf! Be brave, okay? You can do this! I let out a big sigh before typing something on my computer.

"Secret Garden Beach Resort"

Click! Click! Click!

After booking the resort, I forwarded all the details to Mew. I already knew this resort because of Sean. Their family had already gone here. I remember he said that this resort looked like a paradise. I honestly dream that someday, someone will bring me here. I wish it were Mew, but I guessed it's just a dream.

A dream that will never come true!

~~~

The Day of the Proposal

I got up early because I knew I had many things to prepare for this day. But first, I ensured I completed all my assignments and activities for school. I still include my academics as one of my priorities. I can't neglect my studies because of Marcus. It's the only thing I have right now. I don't have my family, my parents, and now I will lose Mew. I can't lose everything!

I already informed Marcus to go to the venue before 6 pm. The restaurant also called me to confirm the venue. They sent me a picture of the place and the only thing I can say to describe it is, It's perfect! It's just like what I want and imagine. I hope Mew will be happy about what I did for him.

I also prepared myself to go to the venue to double-check. Satisfied with my look, I immediately hailed a cab to the restaurant.

Did I mention that I'm a prideful kind of person? I can't take it if I'm the reason for the failure of something or if I'm a failure itself. It will hurt my ego! I need to make sure that everything is ready.

Honestly, some part of me wishes that something terrible would happen to stop this from happening, but I'm not entirely a bad person. It's just that some part of me still wishes Mew to notice me and love me like how I love him.

But I know it's impossible. Especially after today! It will make it more impossible!

~~~

At precisely 6 pm when I saw Mew and Allyssa arrive at the venue. As they step out of the car, Mew immediately puts his folded handkerchief around Allyssa's eyes. Then he guided her to the place where his proposal would happen.

I didn't try to approach them not because I didn't want to look like a third party, but most importantly, I didn't wish Mew to see me crying because I knew I will, as I was looking sadly in their direction. As Mew saw me, he quickly smiled at me and mounted the word I don't want to hear from him, especially today "Thank You!".

I can see how happy he is right now. How can you not be? Your wish is finally coming true! One step closer to his dream life with his dream woman. I wish you good luck, Mew!

Even if it hurt, I tried to act okay and look at him. I just smiled at him and mounted, "Good luck."

~~~

I can't take it anymore!

I really can't! I thought I could handle this, but I can't!

I had to get away from here and go somewhere where Mew and Allyssa now show me that my only wish in life can never come true! I can never have the only man I've ever wanted in my whole life! I had to go!

I run and run while trying to make my eyes stop crying, but my eyes don't seem to want to coordinate with me. Tears keep flowing, and my eyesight is blurry already.

Is my decision correct? Do I have to give way, just for Mew's happiness, even with me being this hurt? I want to be alone! I can see people walking by me, noticing my face full of a tear, but I don't care anymore!

All I know now is I had to get away from here. I continue to run, and as I run, suddenly I feel so weak! I felt my knees would give up any minute, so I stopped!

My heart is hurting, and it feels like it's breaking into million pieces right now! I can't breathe! Please, someone, help me! Please, help me! I don't know where I am right now.

All the pain I was trying to bury for the last few days to get through this fucking proposal plan exploded into my face. All of it! I feel so weak! I feel like my surrounding is spinning. I couldn't see correctly, and as I was about to faint, I felt someone catch me behind.

"Gideon!" The man said. Who is this?

"Gideon Gulf, wake up! Please wake up, Gulf! Gulf!" He repeatedly called me.

He's trying to wake me back to consciousness by slapping my face lightly. I can't see him clearly, because everything for me right now is a blur.

"Mew? Mew?" I said as I was about to close my eyes completely, and then after a few more seconds, everything went black.

TO BE CONTINUED

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