Songs for the Chapter:

More Than A Feeling- Boston

Here I Go Again- Whitesnake

BAD- Michael Jackson

{M A U R A}

A crooked line here, a little shading there.

The world around me melted away when I drew. Nothing mattered but pencil scratching paper, the emotions rushing through my veins and pouring out in the form of art.

I didn't draw birds, I didn't draw planes, I didn't draw trees. I drew what I felt, like a poet.

It was a private thing to me. Insurprised myself when Jon appeared in my bedroom like he always does, and asked if he could watch me. I said yes, too in the moment to stop and tell him to go away.

I looked over the edge of my notebook at him. He noisily ate an apple and really did watch me-- little creases of concentration appeared between his brows.

"Could you quit looking at me like that? You're making it hard to focus."

He swallowed. "You said I could watch you."

"What-fucking-ever," I muttered under my breath and went back to drawing.

The source of my sudden itch to sketch was an epiphany I'd had the night before. I was with Jax (he seemed to want me every night now), and somethig strange happened. I didn't feel pain or numbness, instead a growing ball of tension in my stomach.

My toes curled and uncurled, I ground my hips against Jax in an attempt to further this tension. This made him even more hungry, along with my uncontrollable whimpers, moans and cries for more. The epitome of this strange feeling came just before his did, which left me reeling.

"It's called an orgasm," Macy later explained. "Only took him six damn tries to get you there."

My paper was divided in half. On one side was a sketch of Jon and I, as he was giving me the lesson. The words 'Someone you deserve...' are written beside him. I meant to continue the sentence, but I couldn't find the words.

On the other side, using much darker strokes and harsher lines, Jax's bedroom is protrayed. The both of us are naked, his hands are clamped over my wrists. From his mouth, the words 'Don't worry, it'll feel good soon' are written.

I bit my lip. This one took a little bit to complete.

"Jax is throwing a rager," Jon said nonchalantly as he tossed his apple core into the trash.

"A rager?"

"A big ass party, everyone's invited. They charge at the door and raise money for their violence... drug dealing... roughing and drinking."

I closed my drawing notebook and set it on the shelf. "I always wanted to ask... Jax's circle seems so small, how does he 'run Chicago'?"

"Simple," Jon said, leaning forward. "He knows everyone on the streets. He pays them off, and he respects them. He wins them over with money raised at ragers, and they do as he wants. As long as he keeps the loyalty of the local drug dealers and street toughs, as well as continuing to put food on the table for their families... he's home free."

I stared at him, just blinking.

"Or... that's how it works in Jersey," he added sheepishly.

"Wow," I breathed, shaking my head. "How is that even possible? Paying criminals to defend his turf. Why am I surprised?"

He looked away.

"Your uh... dancing partner from the other night might show up and ruin the fun."

I glared at him. "Damn, will you give it a fucking rest? It's been a week. It meant nothing."

I went to the door of the record closet and paused. Macy told me that Jax drew too. I'd been in his bedroom six times over and I hadn't spotted any of his drawings. Had he been thinking of me? Had he been drawing me?

"He's a fucking crazy person. I can't believe you allowed him in here."

"What was I supposed to do?" I yelled at him, whirling around. "My parents forced me to have him here! I couldn't throw him out, I couldn't be rude! I'm sorry, okay?"

He stood ands held up his hands disarmingly. "Alright, I won't mention it anymore."

"Mention what?"

Macy was standing in the doorway of my bedroom with her backpack still on, holding a coffee in one hand and a notebook in the other. I grit my teeth at Jon, letting him know that there was no way in hell Macy could know. She'd tell Jax in a heartbeat.

But, Macy knew about me and Jax's affair... having two close friends was becoming a tangly spiderweb.

"Nothing, it's nothing," I chuckled. "Just Jon being a god damned bonehead."

Macy smiled with genuine pleasure. I pretended not to notice her growing jealousy of me and Jon's friendship, and I definitely didn't tell her about his little lesson. Not that the lesson mattered to me. Like, at all.

"Okay," Jon replied dismissively and went to the door. "I'm gonna go catch the other boneheads down at the Bay."

"Yeah bye," Macy said quickly before she lead me by the hand to the bed.

I looked back at him apologetically as he went. He just nodded.

"You and him are getting pretty buddy-buddy," she commented curiously after Jon was gone.

"Macy... he's not all that bad once you get past the fact that he looks better than most females without trying. And all that hair. And the fact that he's smarter than everyone."

She laughed out loud. "Yeah, right, 'smarter than everyone,' that's a funny joke. What were you guys doing anyway?"

"I was just drawing," I responded, drifting toward the shelf with my notebooks on them. "Jax draws."

"Yeah, but not those stupid 'no one understand me' comics that you do. He draws and paints portraits. Of naked girls, I think. Of people."

I looked down with furrowed eyebrows. "Why?" I whispered.

"Hey, when are you gonna ditch Jon for good? I miss having it be just the two of us, you know? Guys just complicate things, even when they're just associates."

I turned and looked at her, cringing when I realized she was completely serious.

"We gotta head to the gym," I told her quietly and then went to get my gym bag.

{...}

Everyone stood in awe. Whispering, waiting for an explanation.

Macy and I just stood at the bottom of the steps, watching Jax take in the dire scene before him. His eyebrows dipped and creased with anger as he turned in slow circles, muttering something under his breath that I couldn't make out. Beads of sweat speckled his forehead, he continually pushed the curls out of his face with irritation, though they only fell back down again seconds later.

It was a mess, to say the least. Garbage, everywhere. Spray paint, toilet paper, even hundreds of plastic forks stuck on the school's front lawn.

In large block letters on the face of the school, the words 'Come out to play' in frighteningly neat handwriting were portrayed.

Vick, Danny, and the twins emerged beside us. Danny exchanged glances with me, but said nothing. Macy fought to make eye contact with any of them, but nothing was said.

"Damn," Jon commented, approaching the crime scene. "What happened here?"

"Do you even have to ask?" Macy whispered snidely, and hooked her arm through mine.

I gave him what seemed like the millionth look of apology, and briefly explained. "Turf war. This is obviously someone making a statement." I raised my eyebrows while saying 'someone', so Jon would know that it was a certain flirtatious stranger I was referring to .

"Fuck," Jax hissed under his breath and kicked at the nearest piece of garbage. No one moved, just watching.

"Jax," Vick called from the bottom of the stairs. "What are you gonna do?"

"I have this handled!" he boomed at her. She did not flinch, as she was rapidly becoming used to his perpetual lack of enthusiasm regarding her.

"Really?"

"Stay in your god damned lane, Vick! Didn't I just say I had it handled? Yes, really!"

She sighed and crossed her arms.

Jax threw his hands up in the air in frustration, and then walked quickly into the school. Everyone slowly began to follow, whispering and pointing to the damage.

"I guess that rager is gonna be even more dangerous than it usually would be," Jon spoke.

"Why do you say that?"

"Obviously that... someone... is really looking to start some shit, if they aren't in full fight mode already," he spoke wisely.

I wondered if he used to be an East-Coast street tough or something. "They'll be looking to target Jax, and there's no better place to do so than at a party sponsoring his region. They'll be there, alright."

"That's crazy talk," Macy replied. "This is just a fluke."

We followed te crowd into the building. The halls were oddly silent as we walked to chemistry, no one really talked or laughed. Just the sound of feet against tile.

I sat down at my desk and looked at Jon solemnly. He tried to crack one of his silly smiles to cheer me up, but I just looked back.

The bell rang, and still there was no teacher. Everyone's eyes seemed to continually avert to Jax's side of the room. Eventually I couldn't help myself, and let my eyes go there as well.

But Jax was already looking at me. My stomach went cold.

"I've gotta pee," I told Jon quickly and stood. "If the slut/teacher comes, tell her I had to puke or something."

"Yeah," he said quietly.

Everyone watched as I left the room.

Not too long after, I heard footsteps following me down the hall. I turned, thinking it was Jon deciding to accompany me. I was faced with Jax, looking wound up and ready to explode.

"Hey," I said softly, not wanting to cause him more anger.

"I'm coming to your place tonight," he said gruffly. "I've got shit to do tonight as you know, so I won't stay long. You don't need to be anywhere near the shit that's gonna go down at my place tonight. Unnecessary complications."

"Oh, okay," I agreed slowly, remembering that my parents were set to be in the Detroit that night anyway. "That's fine."

"And I know what you're thinking," he said, grabbing my wrist almost painfully. "You're not coming anywhere near that rager tonight."

With that, he turned and went back to class.

{J A X}

I stood in front of the house, and for once I didn't resent it.

When I was a kid, I used to come to places like these. I stood outside the gates and looked at the lights glowing in the windows. I wondered what kind of expensive things the people inside were eating. I wondered if the children who lived there had loving parents, ones that didn't abandon you to carry out the music career of your little sister.

Ones that didn't marry whores and leave you to rot.

So I simply took control of everything and everyone, and the urge was relieved.

But I never resented Little Red's house. I looked up at it and licked my lips, thinking about the girl inside who was slowly becoming more resilient.

I went fearlessly up to the front door and rang the doorbell.

I rolled my eyes when the Jersey prick answered the door, glaring at me like I was so beneath him. At least I could pronounce the word 'bought' correctly.

"What the fucking hell are you doing here?" he snarled.

"Last time I checked this wasn't your house," I replied drily. "Why don't you just go home? You wouldn't wanna start a fight with me."

"Oh, ya think?" he scoffed.

I looked at him closely. He wore nothing but a tight tank top and jeans... he hadn't been fucking Little Red, had he? Somehow that thought made my blood boil...

"No, I know," I said calmly. "I didn't come here for your ass, so I suggest you move out of the way and go tell Little Red that I'm here."

He opened his mouth to retort, but not before she came down the staircase.

"Jon? Who's at the door?" she called in that little fairy voice of hers, tightening the draw string on her silk robe as she came.

"No one who is welcome," Jon called back.

Her eyes widened as she stood slightly behind him, peering over his shoulder. He blocked the doorway with his arm so that she'd have to limbo to get to me. I was irritated when she didn't even attempt to make him move.

"Jax," she said quietly, and then let her eyes fall to the ground.

"Tell your lap dog to get lost. I wanna fuck."

"Excuse me?" he responded, sliding in front of her protectively. "Oh fuck no, why the hell would you come here uninvited, especially after what you did to her the first time? God, the balls on some people."

It took me a few seconds to put two and two together. Her wide brown eyes filled with worry. She shook her head slightly to communicate something to me, but I ignored her. Obviously her 'friend' was unaware of what we'd been doing, and I wasn't about to pass up a chance to make him shut the hell up.

"Uninvited? Didn't Little Red tell you?"

I let a smirk rise on my lips. Little Red sighed and stared at the ground as Jersey turned and looked at her.

"You invited him here?"

"Jon, listen. You don't understand-"

"After everything we talked about?" he raised his voice a little, and for some reason she responded to this by taking a step back. Since when did she let any fucker talk to her like that?

"Jon..."

"No. This isn't happening, go upstairs. This is only gonna end badly, and you know it."

"But-"

"Go!"

She mumbled a hasty agreement and went back toward the staircase.

"What the fuck, Red! Come out here, right n-"

Jersey came forward and shut the door so she could no longer hear me.

"Scram! You've got far more important things to do tonight, don't you?"

He glared at me for a second longer, slipped inside the house, and shut off the porch light.

"Fuck you," I hissed under my breath and went back down the stairs. There was one thing he was right about, I didn't have much time to be wasted on girls and personal pleasure that night.

I looked back up at the house and saw her peeking through her curtains at me. I looked directly at her and she scurried away, probably at the sound of her body guard returning.

I held my breath as I thought about the inevitable peril that waited for me at the rager.

{A/N}

Jon stop being such a fucking cockblock damn.

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