Songs for the Chapter

Dead Horse- Guns N' Roses

Liberian Girl- Michael Jackson

Heaven's On Fire- KISS

{J A X}

Danny came back quickly, stony faced.

"Well?" I growled.

Danny shrugged and rubbed the back of his neck. "I mean... I'm sure she knows what she's doing, but I saw her go up the stairs with someone. He had her hand I think, probably to a bedroom?"

"What the hell! Why didn't you go after her?"

Danny raised his eyebrows. "The fuck you mean? Number one, you said you don't care what happened to her, so why would I? Number two, that would blow our god damn cover!"

"You fucking idiot," I hissed right back, balling his collar in my fists. "Don't you realize what the fuck a guy would do to a girl like her? He'll probably fucking destroy her!"

"What, just like you do?" Vick whispered quietly from her seat on the curb.

I could've slapped the shit out of her, but I refrained.

"I'll be right back," I muttered and charged toward the house in the darkness.

"If you blow this shit, I swear to fucking god," Danny muttered under his breath.

I had no intention of fucking things, I knew exactly what I was doing. I paced around the house until I found a tree high enough to reach one of the second-floor windows. I quickly scaled that tree and wriggled into the house, rolling onto the floor in the middle of the hall.

I stood absolutely still for a moment, just listening-- past the pounding music, the yells and screams, the sound of beer pong gone wrong.

Beneath all those noises I heard a tiny groan, so long and drawn out it was barely audible.

I followed the sound to a cracked bedroom door. I didn't hear anyone moving around inside, but part of me hoped it wouldn't be her. Just a doped-up teenage couple attempting to have sloppy sex.

But no. One my eyes adjusted to the dark room, I saw her- completely passed out on top of a huge ass bed.

Her head lolled back at an impossible angle, her eyes were shut.

"He fucking drugged her," I sighed, looking over my shoulder to make sure no one was coming. I'd have to work quickly to get her out before anyone noticed. "Damn it, Red."

I crept into the room and gathered her body up into my arms. I groaned a little- she was a lot heavier when she wasn't grinding her hips against me with her arms around me. I wrapped her limp arms around my neck and lifted her, went to the door.

I went down the front staircase with her. At that point, I didn't really give a fuck.

And then I saw the Jersey Prick sitting alone on the sofa, sipping a drink and looking like a sad fucking puppy. He caught sight of me, and seconds later he jumped into action.

"Oh, fuck that," I muttered under my breath and tried to hurry toward the door, but he cut me off and stopped in front of me.

"What the fuck!" he hissed. "So what, you're date raping her now?"

I grabbed his collar just like I'd done Danny's before. "No, you ass hat! You were sitting here while some fuckwad was going to date rape her."

He smacked my hand away, glaring at me intensely. "I don't believe you."

I pushed him aside roughly. "Good thing no one gives a shit about your opinion, including Little Red. She made that pretty clear earlier, so you can fuck off now."

"I swear to god, if I find out you raped her..."

"Eat shit."

I left the house. I took her to the car.

{M A U R A}

"Water."

The word spluttered out of me with a series of dry coughs. My throat burned and ached, I could still taste limey bitterness on the back of my tongue. I wanted nothing more than to wash it away, just like my memories of the night before had been.

"Water!" I croaked even louder.

"Alright already," Jax retorted. I realized with a start that he was sitting on the edge of the bed staring at me.

He held out a glass. I tried to reach for it, but instead my arm shook and my fingers wouldn't cooperate.

"Here," he sighed, pulling me upright. I secured myself with an arm around his neck as he raised the glass to my lips and allowed me to drink. I didn't stop until there was nothing left, and that sick lime taste was gone.

I was left only with the sick feeling in my stomach.

"Oh no," I barely whispered.

"Yeah," he almost shouted. "'Oh no' Is fucking right! This is exactly why I told you not to involve yourself in this shit, Red! I told you not to get fucked, and what the hell did you do?"

My breath came unevenly. "Did he.... who was..."

"He didn't. I came in time."

My eyes opened just a little wider. I looked at him carefully, though his bedroom seemed to be spinning and it was hard to focus. Those brown eyes of his seemed to hold more worry than anger, his perfect jaw clenched with frustration. I wanted to touch his skin, but I couldn't.

"You... did?"

His eyes wouldn't meet mine anymore. Was he... embarrassed?

"Yeah, I did."

He sounded just as surprised as I was.

"But maybe I shouldn't have! I shouldn't have sent your ass in there in the first fucking place, your entire look screams 'jailbait'! And of course you're way too fucking naive to ever fend for yourself, and in the process we've fucked the whole point of it all!"

I just watched him. He paced the length of his bedroom back and forth several times. I noticed I was wearing all the same clothes, and I felt uncomfortable. I wondered what my parents might think, and that filled me with all sorts of dread.

"God damn it," he groaned.

The same clothes meant... the same pockets.

"Jax, wait. I think I..."

He looked at me angrily. "You're still coming down off the roofies. You won't feel normal for a while, just sleep or something."

"No wait. My jacket pocket, my right jacket pocket."

"Red, I don't-"

"Just reach in it!"

He glared at me and came around to the right side of the bed. He reached into my pocket and pulled out the notebook paper list. I felt much better at the sight of it, like I might not be completely useless to him.

He sat down and quickly unfolded the piece of paper. His face was blank as he read over it repeatedly, and then looked at me again.

"Damn it Red," he whispered, setting the list down.

I tried to smile. I didn't know if it worked.

He studied me for a long while. "There's something I gotta do," he concluded after a few awkward seconds. He left just like that, leaving me to wonder what the hell happened.

I might've gone back to sleep for a while, but when I awoke again he returned. He had a greasy brown bag, which he was shoving into my lap.

I looked up at him, confused.

"Eat. It'll soak up some of the excess drug in your system."

The word 'drug' caused me to shiver. Jesse's sly smile flashed into my mind, which brought that sick feeling back. I didn't dare to tell Jax it was Jesse who'd done this to me-- I didn't wanna ruin us.

I would've refused the food if it weren't for the logo on the bag. It advertised the Bay- and while the place was my favorite diner, why would he have gone all the way downtown when there's a McDonald's right up the street?

"Jax, did you-"

"Eat," he said forcefully.

I managed to take the bag and open it up. The smell of french fries brought the life back into my body, even more so as I was slowly eating them.

He sat on the edge of the bed and he watched me.

"Red."

"What?"

"To get that list... what did you do?"

His eyes were serious. I pulled the burger out of the bag and began scarfing it down. I felt my strength returning, and I couldn't stop eating long enough to answer his question. The burger tasted like heaven. In that moment, I wanted to marry Jax.

"Red! Answer me."

I wiped my mouth on the back of my hand and reached for more water.

"Nothing," I said in between swallows. "I found it in a dresser."

His eyes closed for a split second. I finished the burger and sat up on my own.

"Thanks for the food," I said quietly. "I feel a lot better now."

"Yeah?" he whispered. There was a moment of silence before he sprung to his feet and took his shirt off in one fluid motion.

I watched him with temporary confusion before he climbed onto the bed again and began tugging my clothes off.

"Jax," I said, flustered and incapable of moving quickly. "What are we doing? Why right now?"

"Cause I'm in the mood right now," he replied gruffy as he tossed my shirt to the floor. My breath left me as his arms wrapped around my waist, pressing me against him. His skin was warm, almost feverish as his tongue lapped against my neck.

"But I can't-"

"I'll do the work," he whispered, nibbling my earlobe. "You lay here and look pretty."

{...}

He stood up with his back to me. My chest was still heaving, I could feel the pleasure of him still. Yet our bodies had already separated.

I wondered if he was deciding whether to kick me out or let me stay.

"Jax," I breathed.

He shushed me quickly and inched toward the door with his head cocked. His eyebrows furrowed with concentration.

"I can leave if you want me to."

I didn't want to. He'd been extra considerate during the sex, more than he usually was. It made me wanna spend the rest of my life wrapped around his waist, but I wasn't willing to admit that. Instead I looked at him longingly and hoped he'd understand.

"Shut up," he replied harshly.

And then I heard it. Voices coming from the outside of the bedroom, lots of them, mostly male. Deep, familiar almost. It wasn't Danny or the twins, and the one female voice I did hear definitely wasn't Vick.

"Oh shit."

It was the first time I ever heard fear in his voice.

He turned to the bed. "You have to get out. You have to leave, right fucking now."

I sat up, hugging the blanket to my chest. "Alright already, I offered to go a few seconds ago and you told me to shut up-"

"Go! Hurry the fuck up!"

It was evident that his slightly affectionate mood has passed. "And you can't come back, alright! Don't even fucking looking at me in the hallway, cause we can't do this shit anymore. You got that?"

I stood frozen in my spot. "Jax, what do you mean?"

He threw my clothes at my feet and hastily started to dress himself.

"I meant what I fucking said! I got some, and I'm done. What do you think this was, huh? You think I'm the love of your life, you think that you can change me? No sweetheart, this is what it was from the beginning: a hookup. Now get your shit and get out."

I couldn't move, which made him even angrier. The voices were growing in volume.

"Did you hear me, bitch?"

"Really? After everything, you make me feel like a piece of trash? Like nothing at all? Like something you can use and throw away when you're done having fun?"

"Yeah yeah, can we move this along? I don't have time for your emotional breakdown," he snapped.

I stood in disbelief. He was really doing this to me?

"Fine," he said, brushing past me and opening the window. "Out through here, come on. Time's up now. Let's go." He snapped and pointed at the opening.

I felt numb. I was back in the train car again, sneaking peaks at him over my shoulder. He tried to warn me about him, but I didn't listen. It was the game, that stupid game I liked to play with luck. It left me there, standing alone.

No Jon. No Jax.

My tears felt cold as I climbed out the window and landed in the weedy grass outside.

"Jax, can't we-"

The window shut.

I don't know how I got home. I don't really remember. I remember feeling wet and cold as I dragged into my foyer. My hair was a mess. My emotions were worse. My mom came to me and held my cheeks between her slender hands. My dad wasn't far behind.

There was anger at first. "Where the hell have you been, you had us worried sick."

And then they saw the look on my face.

And my mom asked me if I was okay.

I wanted to tell her what happened. I met a beautiful stranger and I was instantly sucked in. He told me to stay away but I went above and beyond just to be close to him. I compromised myself, I was vulnerable and he took advantage of that. I lost my Jersey boy in the process, as well as my grasp on who I am as a person.

But I couldn't say that. I collapsed into her arms and cried. Like when I was a little girl and I'd fallen off the swing set or something. Just cried. And she held me.

"It hurts."

That was all I could say.

{A/N}

Sorry for the delay- my boyfriend and his family came over yesterday and didn't leave until 2 am... guess who had to work an 8 hour ship on four hours of sleep today??!?

If I weren't such a sucker for cuddles and attention I would be pissed 🤔

I would say Maura deserved it but that was kinda cold. Anyway you guy's comments make my day! Y'all are too funny.

Keep on voting :)