Songs for the chapter:

Without Love- Bon Jovi

Leave Me Alone- Michael Jackson

Pretty Woman- Van Halen

{M A U R A}

I looked at him a dozen different times, but he never gave me a second thought.

Somehow I'd expected this. I expected him to blow me off for the millionth time, to disregard me after I'd clearly demonstrated my feelings for him. Even though I'd known this would happen, it felt like a punch in the stomach.

I gazed at him across the courtyard at lunch, just hoping he might catch my eye. Of course, it seemed like he deliberately tried to avoid them.

I sighed for the umpteenth time.

Jon groaned with frustration. "I thought this is what you wanted, Freckles."

"It is," I said blankly and without thought.

"Don't worry girl, this is just how Jax is. He'll come back around when he wants to come back around, it won't be long."

Jon glared at Macy. "You're supporting this? You think it's okay to have her moping around, waiting for some asshole to notice her like a scorned puppy? You don't think she deserves better than this?"

"You're the one who told her to go clean his house up!" Macy snapped back at him. "Don't act like you haven't been participating!"

"That doesn't make this okay," Jon huffed.

"Both of you shut up! I made this decision all on my own, alright? I never said you two had to sit with me and have a commentary on my life, you chose to do this all on your own!"

Macy sneered at Jon. "Yeah, Jersey. Why don't you go over there with Josh? That conversation might be more your speed anyway."

I looked at her and scoffed, as did Jon.

"I'll just go," I muttered.

Jon's eye's widened a little bit and he cleared his throat. Macy fell silent.

"Freckles-"

"Don't 'Freckles' me! I'm going."

I spun around, and then nearly dropped my stuff on the ground in surprise.

Jax stared down at me with a half-concealed smile, the reality of which was enough to send my knees knocking. I managed to return his gaze for about a half a second, before I realized he couldn't possibly be here for me and resolved to walk past.

"Little Red, don't give me the cold shoulder," he said slyly. At the sound of his voice, everyone around us fell quiet.

I looked back at Macy who grinned wildly, while Jon ran a hand through his hair out of frustration.

"Me? Give you the cold shoulder?" I barely whispered, but my voice seemed to carry.

Even Josh and the Teenage Dreams stopped to look, followed by the jocks and even the nerds.

I faced him and he smiled, though it seemed more like a grimace to me.

"You didn't forget about last night already, did you?"

"Which part?" I frowned. "When you went off on me for caring, or when you threw me out to please your girlfriend?"

"I don't have a girlfriend," he replied drily and came up close to me.

I looked up at him as his chest brushed up against my shoulder. He laughed and did a quick once-over of the room. "Relax, Little Red. You're getting what you want, so now I feel it's my turn. You're coming over tomorrow night. Wear something tight."

He brushed past and continued on his way, leaving me to grin and make mental plans.

"This is insane," Jon said, shaking his head.

"Insanely amazing!" Macy squealed and came to wrap me in a hug.

{...}

I flipped a page in my magazine.

"Hmm... how about this red dress? It's like a tube, it'll show off that waist of yours." Macy returned from my closet with several dress options as well as a grin. She seemed more excited for my night with Jax than I was, if that was possible.

"He did say 'wear something tight,'" I pondered, tapping the spine of the magazine against my fingers. "I guess I'll consider it, but keep going."

She disappeared back into the closet, and all I heard was the shuffle of clothing racks.

"You finding anything out from that magazine?"

"No," I sighed in frustration. "I thought Cosmo magazine was supposed to tell you everything about sex, but it really doesn't explain the technical part of it. Just tells you what you might like based on your Zodiac sign, and never the basics either."

My bedroom door swung open, and I frowned deeply at the sight of Jon standing there, looking condescending as usual.

"You're trying to learn about sex from the Cosmopolitan? Are you twelve?"

I scoff. "You're trying to learn how to dress from Don Dokken? Are you trash?"

He stared at me for a long while. Then his gaze transferred to Macy, who was giving him her usual disdainful glare. "Macy, get out."

"What the hell?" She retorted, looking at me for backup. "When are you gonna put him in his place, Maura? How does he--who isn't even your friend, by the way-- have the right to come in here and kick me out?"

I looked into Jon's eyes and knew he was serious, I knew there was something he needed to say.

"Macy, we've got gymnastics tonight. Will you grab my gym stuff and meet me in the car?"

Her eyes widened. "Are you serious?"

"As cancer."

She huffed and grabbed my bag from the corner. She stopped in the doorway to momentarily inform us that we were made for each other, and then she left the room.

Jon shut the door behind her softly, and when he turned to me all traces of usual humor and lightheartedness were gone from his features.

"You trust me, Freckles?"

I looked at him blankly and did not respond.

He sighed with annoyance. "Come on. I told you what to do with Jax and it worked, didn't it?"

"Yeah," I responded skeptically and closed my magazine.

"And I wanna be that kinda guy for you. I want you to come to me with your problems, and I wanna help you. In fact, I wanna do that right now, but I need you to trust that my intentions are good, ya know?"

"Just come out with it."

"I can teach you what Cosmo can't."

He looked at the magazine, and slowly those intelligent blue eyes dragged themselves back to mine. They were impossible to read, the only thing I did get was that he was trying to guage my reaction.

"You mean... how to... do it."

He looked away. "No. How to engage in human kind's mose meaningful and deep portrayal of emotion."

He tossed his jacket to the side, leaving him in nothing but a tank top.

"Just say 'fucking', Jon. And there's no way I'm doing that with you, so my answer is no."

He rolled his eyes. "I don't actually have to whip it out in order to help you, Freckles. There are ways that don't involve that at all. Don't you wanna be ready for that special day, when you finally give it up to someone who deserves you entirely?"

I paused. That did sound pretty tempting...

"What's in this for you, Jersey boy?"

"Nothing. Just the chance to help you out."

I wasn't buying that, but was I really gonna pass up the chance to learn from a most likely very experienced master? All Teenage Dreams took pride in their various conquests, and the ability to please a woman just as much as they were pleased by her. So I decided to bite.

"Alright. I guess this is worth my while."

He looked pleased for about a split second, and then an expression of seriousness settled over him.

I stood at the foot of my bed and peered up at him as he approached, hair falling into his eyes. I swear I could hear his heart beating as he wrapped his hands around my waist.

"Jon-"

"Quiet," he whispered, his breath fanning across my cheeks. "The difference between just okay intimacy and explosive intimacy is being in sync with your partner. It's the most important concept."

I fell quiet as he gazed so deeply into my eyes, breathing slowly. I studied his eyes too with a silence that eventually became comfortable.

I saw him clearly. I saw the way his cheekbones left hollow spaces and shadows, I saw the little hints of blonde and red flowing through his brown hair, I saw the way his chest moved upward with each breath he took, I saw the way he knew I was more than just a girl.

His hands left my waist and moved upward to my shoulders, down my arms and to my hips. I wanted to smack them away but at the same time I felt he was skilled, and it didn't feel too bad anyway.

"Never rush this part," he said, his eyes never leaving mine. "The electric seconds before anything happens... they're the best."

"What's next?"

His arms wrapped around me. He kissed me.

I pushed away but he wouldn't let me get far, glancing at me sternly like a mother and her child.

"Freckles, I'm trying to teach you."

"Jon, I swear to god!"

"Do you wanna be ready or not?"

I sighed with reluctant contempt, glaring at him. "Fine."

"Like I said before," he continued, "it's always best to be completely in sync with your partner. You want to conform to their needs and wants, you want to please them without doing too much and taking your own pleasure out of the equation. That includes the kissing."

I held my breath a little as he tucked a finger under my chin and brought his mouth to mine. He was soft and gentle at first, letting me lead the way while his hands guided mine to where he wanted them. I ran my fingers through his hair and down his chest, which me applauded with a quiet moan and a breath.

My heart was beating and I didn't know why. I never felt engaged when I kissed someone--when I kissed Josh it was like nothing, slightly less entertaining than practicing on a cupcake or a sandwich.

Minutes passed like seconds. "There'll be foreplay," he said through the kiss, pressing my body into his. "That's all based on personal preference, but we can cut to the chase."

"Which is?"

He pulled away, red in the cheeks. "A good man will let the woman tell him what she wants. She'll set the pace."

He circled me closely. "He'll strip her down, but she'll send him to the bed." He gestured at the buttons on my blouse, but did not reach for them. Instead he put his hands on my waist again and guided me to the bed.

His eyes were blue infernos as he sat on the edge and leaned back onto his palms.

"You get on top."

Somehow I knew to stradle him. Roughly I balled the front of his tank top in my fist and brought him to me, peppering hot kisses all over his face and cheeks.

"You tell him what you want him to do," he grunted. "He'll tell you what he likes. Give encouragement, feed his ego, tell him what he wants to hear to get him off."

"And the sex?"

"Move like this once he's inside you," he replied, out of breath as his hands gently rocked my hips in a back and forth motion. "As fast as you wanna go. That's the beauty of being on top, you can torture him if you wanna."

We kissed a little more, in a manner that scared me a little inside- especially when I felt a little visitor poking against me from Jon's pants. Once I realized what I was doing I rolled off of him and flopped onto the mattress, heart still beating a mile a minute.

There was a long silence. "Why, Jon?"

"Jonny Jr. doesn't know the difference," he said quietly. The lust had gone from his tone.

"Oh... well thanks. I guess. I hope Jax likes it, or that would've been a complete waste of my time."

I slid off the bed and Jon sat straight up. "You're gonna waste your first time on that douche? Are you kidding me, Freckles?"

It was hard to take him seriously with flushed cheeks, swollen lips, and something even more swollen below his belt line. I tried to ignore that and went to the mirror to fix my makeup.

"What did you think, Jon?"

"I thought you might be smart and give yourself to someone who cares! I'm gonna be point-blank here and tell you that you're making a mistake. He's only gonna hurt you in the end, Freckles. This can't turn out well."

I rolled my eyes and disregarded him. "Yeah? Well thanks but no thanks, I got all the knowledge I need from that little lesson of yours. Why don't you go find some poor girl to take 'Jonny Jr.' out on, huh? Spare me."

His eyes narrowed. "Jonny Jr. is pretty picky."

"I thought he didn't know the difference."

"Between sex and a lesson, maybe not! Between a skank and a woman, definitely."

"It doesn't matter! I'm going to be with Jax! So you can keep all that philosophical, 'wiser than thou' bullshit to yourself."

He laughed bitterly to himself as I slipped my shoes on and went to the door.

"What's so funny?"

"I was just thinkin' about how much shit I take from you, how I put up with it all, how I do so much... and you never even think about that. You just take and take some more, and I'm gonna keep on lettin' you."

"No one is asking you to."

I left the room at that. I could still feel the pillowy softness of his hair between my fingers and taste the hint of citrus on his tongue, but none of that mattered anymore. I was prepared to please Jax, and that was the goal.

{A/N}

Warning: this is tame compared to next chapter. Just saying.

Vote and comment! :)