In this chapter I make helicopter_stan canon in my countryhumans universe. For her first crime committed in my universe, she has New England burn down England's house.

Updated 1/23/25

"We lost Vermont." New Hampshire said as they used the map Uncle Ireland had given them to work their way to England's house.

"You knew he would only try to be the 'mature oldest sibling who's so smart and responsible' again. I say it's good he's gone. No one can stop us from making bad choices now!" Maine said cheerily.

"And besides, it's obvious where he is. Off to go see Canada again, his other—"

"NO!" Connecticut, New Hampshire, and Massachusetts yelled, cutting off Rhode Island from saying that one fact they all liked to pretend wasn't true. Because seeing it as true? That was disturbing.

Not like the rest of the family tree wasn't, but still, the more uncomfortable family relations and ties they could bury and hide away, the better.

"Sorry, sorry. I won't bring it up again. Let's just make sure England stays quiet and maybe do some other things. Just like we planned." Rhode Island said, holding up his hands in a gesture of surrender.

Maine smiled and nodded, pulling out an elegant and beautifully crafted knife out of his hoodie pocket. It wasn't the usual knife he carried, the one he used for carving his antlers. Where did he get a knife like that?

"Hell yeah. I'm so excited for this plan. I even got this knife just for it." Maine said.

"Where the hell did you get that Maine?" New Hampshire asked. Maine shrugged.

"I have a friend who stans helicopters and owns knives."

"You have a WHAT?" Rhode Island asked.

"Michigan has amazing people. Y'all should really befriend some of them." Maine said like that explained any of what he just said.

"I want a knife. Please introduce me to them sometimes," Connecticut said. Massachusetts nodded in agreement.

"After we murder—I mean talk—to England, let's all visit your friend and get knives for when Father finally lets us kill England," Massachusetts said. The others nodded in agreement, and Massachusetts smiled, checking Uncle Ireland's map, which revealed they were close.

"I'll let her know," Maine said, pulling out his phone. Rhode Island smiled widely, something that would have concerned Massachusetts if he wasn't just as eager to get a few hits in on the man who hurt them and their father.

Sure, Father and England called each other family again, but what was the point of having a family if they didn't decide that they wanted you dead every now and again? Perfectly normal family behavior.

And even if it wasn't, Massachusetts, like most of New England, had been an alter when their father was a colony and had suffered the same abuse at Britain and England's hands. Many of them wanted those two to pay.

However, Father wouldn't like them most likely destroying one of his closest alliances, so to ensure no one got trigger happy, Massachusetts made sure he stressed the importance that they were just going there to be nuisances and that murder was out of the question.

For now.

Massachusetts smiled as he saw a house appear, recognizing it as the one in which the United Kingdom and their territories lived. It wasn't the one he grew up in, not really, as the original house had been expanded on so much. It wasn't...it didn't look like the one Massachusetts remembered.

"Alright, boys, we're here," Massachusetts said, rolling up the map. New Hampshire snorted.

"Why do you sound like the penguins from the Madagascar movies?" New Hampshire asked with a smirk. Massachusetts rolled his eyes.

"Shut up, Hamster."

"If England weren't a more tempting target, I would get you for that comment." New Hampshire said.

Thank you, England, Massachusetts thought, not daring to say it out loud. No one would ever know about that expression of gratitude, especially when Massachusetts was about to go and make the next hour of England's life hell.

"Sure you would. Now let's break in there and show Britain and England why they should have been better parents!" Massachusetts called, gesturing towards the door, which Rhode Island kicked in.

"Tiny terror he is," Maine whispered to Massachusetts.

"Don't let him hear you say that, Mainy. He'd kick your ass for that." Massachusetts whispered back before walking into the house.

"We know the territories. We could have just gotten Helena to let us in," Connecticut remarked as they entered.

"But this is so much more fun, don't you agree?" Rhode Island asked. The rest of New England nodded in agreement.

"Whelp, time to find an asshole and cause some more property damage!" New Hampshire chirped cheerily before skipping inside. The rest of them followed, wandering into the living room where they could see England and Wales. They were staring at each other intensely, their eyes full of distrust and anger.

"Well, that was easy. Thought it would be harder to find you." Maine remarked. England startled, turning to face them, his eyes widening. Wales looked unsurprised, most likely because his hearing was better than England's. Although, England had lion and dragon features. He should have heard them coming.

Although England could have been too caught up in whatever arguing, he and Wales were too preoccupied to pay attention to their surroundings. Father always said Wales was constantly aware of his surroundings due to centuries of paranoia.

"Who the fuck are you?" Wales asked, and England began making weird hand movements, most likely British Sign Language.

"Oh, come on, Wales, Dad says you're the smartest person he's ever met. You know who we are." New Hampshire said a wide grin on her face. She loved acting like that, all mysterious. It was a hobby of hers, and she had even worked with West Virginia and California in writing, producing, and making little short horror and adventure films.

"America's states," Wales breathed out before his face cracked into a small grin, one that was so familiar it hurt. Massachusetts had forgotten about that grin.

New Hampshire nodded.

"Yep! I'm New Hampshire. These are my brothers, Maine, Massachusetts, Connecticut, and Rhode Island. Together, along with Vermont, who's not here, we make up New England!" New Hampshire said. England looked surprised at the name and sighed, tapping Wales on the shoulder before signing something at him. Wales sighed.

"England says he is surprised you still call yourself New England." Wales translated. Connecticut shrugged.

"Well, someone has to be the better England," Connecticut said, causing Wales to laugh as England gave them an annoyed look.

"Now, before we get on with our plans, I have a very important important thing to say." Massachusetts said, stepping forward to look England in the eyes, "We, aside from Maine, were alters when Father was a colony. When you hurt him, you hurt me and my siblings. We'll never forgive you for that."

England's eyes widened.

"I'm...sorry," England said in a quiet voice. Although he looked like he meant it, it changed nothing.

"So he does have some honor," Maine remarked. Connecticut snorted.

"Not enough," Connecticut muttered. Wales laughed.

"I think I'll like you kids. Although I like most people who don't like my cunt of a cousin." Wales said.

"Glad to have you on our side, Dragon Boy," Massachusetts said, spinning his knife between his fingers.

"Now you up for some arson?" New Hampshire asked, pulling out a lighter from her pocket. Wales smiled widely, revealing sharp fangs.

"As long as it's England's things, I will gladly join in," Wales said, causing England to give them a betrayed but also resigned look. England then signed something at Wales and walked away.

"Come on, better Englands! I'll show you the way to Bad England's room." Wales said, walking off. Massachusetts and his siblings exchanged smiles. This was going much better than they expected.

Hopefully nothing would go wrong.