Updated 1/26/25

Sometimes, America wished he could talk to more of his human friends about things. Get a second opinion. Maybe then America would feel more qualified to make the decisions he did.

Unfortunately, letting anyone know his human face was too risky. His human friends were the only bit of normalcy he had, and he didn't want to give that up. Even if it would be funny to piss off all the white supremacists by showing them that America was mixed in human form.

"Listening to the others?" America's friend and the only human in the past two centuries to ever know his face, Rowan asked.

"Thinking about how to piss off the white supremacists again." America said at the same time James began complaining about how America didn't listen, "Although James thinks I don't listen."

"He's right. You don't. You spend too much time in your own head and not enough time in the real world, and that warps your judgment. You need to learn that not everything is on you. You have your states for a reason." Rowan said, raising an eyebrow.

America looked away, not...just not wanting to accept that. He was the most powerful country in the world. He had...he couldn't appear weak. If there was anything he was grateful to learn from his father, it was that.

"But Da—"

"Stop thinking about what he taught you when you were a kid. You know he didn't have your best interests at heart. You know that he hurt you. He's still hurting you when you cling so tight to what he made you think." Rowan said, making America regret that so much of his childhood had become public knowledge.

"They're right, you know." James chimed in.

"Can we get back to the original purpose of our conversation? How to explain the asshole from the South to my coworkers?" America said, trying not to mention names, as they were in public, and America was not going to get found out because he was being an idiot in a New York bagel shop.

"We will finish that conversation one day, Finn," Rowan said. America pretended not to hear them.

"They said we will finish this con—" Unorganized Territory began, reminding America of the fact that he could read some of America's thoughts.

"Trust me, Dad, I don't want to. At least you're ace." Unorganized Territory joked, causing an embarrassed blush to work its way up America's face at the implications of that sentence.

"Nize. You're killing me. Why?" America said, causing Rowan to laugh at me.

"I very much want to know what he said to get that reaction out of you." They said, a smug smile on their face. America flipped them off, provoking another laugh before their expression faded to a more serious one.

"I'm no good with the complicated social rules of your workplace. Why exactly can't you just tell them?" Rowan asked. America sighed.

"There's nothing for him, and therefore he shouldn't be here. And...well, it's common courtesy not to mention...those fights to anyone who's had one. It's...painful in more ways than one. We prefer to bury them once they are gone and over," America said, hoping that Rowan understood what I meant. Civil wars ripped nations apart. It was the worst kind of scarring. Spain, who had been born in one, born to be the dictator's puppet, developed DID from all he had experienced.

"I see. So it's not only people prying into something that you don't and shouldn't be talking about, but they are also going to be asking questions you don't have an answer to, and it could lead to panic about other people who are gone, coming back." Rowan summarized. America nodded.

"But he never came back. He just never died," Lydia corrected.

"Especially those who have gone through it. I know that many people will panic and lose it, and...I don't want to do that to them or me. You don't...you don't know what learning he was still alive did to me." America said. He appreciated Rowan as a dear friend and confidant...but they would hate him if they ever met the real America and learned about what he had done.

"Not all of that is your fault." James sighed.

"Product of my time isn't an excuse," America muttered back, hoping Rowan didn't hear him.

"You are trying to get better! And you know just as well as I that y—" Unorganized Territory began before America cut him off.

"Please, Nize, not now," America said.

"When Nize gets a body, if he wants to, he should pursue a career as a therapist. He sounds like he would be good at that." Rowan said. America heard Nize laugh, and the sound brought a smile to his face.

"Tell Rowan that I appreciate that compliment, but there is no way I would do that."

"He doesn't think that's wise," America said before frowning.

"What's on your mind, Finn?" Rowan asked.

"Everything. God, I feel like it's the Cold War again. Way too many shitty moving parts that I can't do anything about." America said before sighing, "Do you think I can get away with never telling them? After all, he's my problem."

"You know them better than I do, Finnegan," Rowan said with a shrug. America sighed.

"I know. That's why I'm nervous."

"Some people had to have realized it was him, right? You should at least fill them in if you don't want them to tell the others." Rowan suggested. America shook his head. None of them could know America didn't have the strength to fix that problem. If Britain or England...

"Why do you still care what they think?" Lydia asked.

"I already asked everyone not to pry into it and leave me be," America said. Rowan gave me a skeptical look.

"Are you sure that will keep them quiet?" Rowan asked.

"I'm hoping," America said simply in response. No matter what America said, grudges and loose lips can always win out in the end. They usually did when it came to countyhumans. Spiting each other for petty, minor victories was what they were best at, after all.

"Talk to them, Finn. What's the harm?" Rowan said. America snorted.

"I can't...not when things are getting better."

"You know that's going to backfire, right?"

"I know."