Jungkook's P.O.V

What was only a fifteen minute jog felt like an hour as Jungkook finally made his way back to the familiar house. He stopped and took a deep breath, mentally reciting the words he's planned to say. Jungkook in this moment felt two things. Pure excitement at the idea of finally being free and honest... paired with absolute fear that Taehyung isn't going to choose him. Jungkook knows it's a possibility. He knows Tae is married and seems happy enough. However there's a part of him that knows Tae feels the same sparks as he does.

FLASHBACK- 5 years ago

It was a rough day for Bangtan. One of the worst they've had in awhile. Jungkook and V had decided to call it a night early and headed up to their hotel rooms. Saying bye and parting ways. Jungkook was about to close the door to his hotel whenever he saw his best friend staring at him in the hallway.

"T-Tae? What's up?" Swallowing the lump in his throat

Tears falling immediately "can I stay with you?"

Jungkook didn't need to answer he just reached out to grab Tae's wrist and yanked him into a hug. "It's been a hell of a day, huh?"

The older just nods against Jungkook's chest. He looks up and the two lock eyes, in this moment it was as if suddenly Jungkook realized that his love for Tae was so much more than he thought. He hated seeing those puppy eyes that he loves filled with tears.

His heart breaking with every sniffle. Jungkook swore he would give his own life if it meant Taehyung would never feel pain again. So why is it that whenever Tae started inching closer... bring their lips almost together, that Jungkook panicked and took him in for another hug.

Tae didn't address the rejection, he just accepted the hug and kept crying. Confused. He knows Jungkook feels it too. He knows that the younger loves him too so why won't he admit it? Why can't they just be together. Why can't you choose me?

END FLASHBACK

Jungkook feels a tear streaming remembering the moment that he knew forsure he loved Tae as a romantic partner. Wanting to go back and punch his former self for making the older feel like he didn't. But tonight that was going to change.

As he ascends the stairs he notices the door cracked and hears a small squeal. His heart drops to the floor whenever he sees Tae being lifted up into the air, clutching onto his husband for dear life.

Not wanting to be noticed he just entered quietly, and sneaked into the guest room. I'm always too late.

Taehyung P.O.V

Tae was lying on his bed anxious. Wondering why Jungkook asked him to wait up, dying to know where the younger ran off too. He knew it was wrong but all he could think about was the way jungkook's plump lips felt against his. The way he touched every part of his body so delicately, and god the way he fucked me so good. Smacking his own head trying to halt the immenint hard-on that was approaching.

He knew it was horrible but Tae was desperate. He's been in love with Jungkook for a very long time and experiencing last night, which was by far the best sex of his entire existence—he needed it. Just one more time. So he decided to sit by his bedroom door, listening for Jungkook to arrive.

Whenever he hears the door open he checks for hyungs and darts to the direction of the dark figure. Jumping into his arms excitedly. Except whenever the arms that wrapped around him weren't as firm, and he didn't feel fluffy hair in his face... he knew this wasn't Kookie...

"Bogum?!"

"Mmm... baby why do you sound so shocked?"

"I didn't know you'd be home!" Trying to sound excited instead of terrified. Tae was nuzzled into his husbands hug whenever he hears quiet footsteps and sees Jungkook walking into his room.. without even glancing Tae's direction.

His heart hurt. He should be so happy to be in his husbands arms but all he wants to do is run into the embrace of that muscle bunny that's only a few feet away. Tae jumps down from Bogum's arms and backs away.

"Why didn't you tell me you were gonna be early?"

Bogum furrowed his brows but smiled lightly placing a chaste kiss on his husbands mouth "I wanted to surprise you. I expected you to be asleep, why are you awake?"

Tae remembers why he was awake.

Jungkook.
God I was planning to fuck Jungkook
Yes . Again.
On Bogum and I's bed..
I'm disgusting.

"Tae?"

Realizing he was dazing off Tae just shot a smile at his husband "ahh I couldn't sleep but I'm sure I'll be able to now. Let's go!"

The husbands intertwine their fingers as they make their way to their shared bedroom. The one that Tae was moaning another mans name in... just 24 hours ago.

"Bogum, I need to go grab my phone charger from the guest room. I let Hoseok borrow it. I'll be right back okay?" Tae smiles

"Mmm.. go ahead baby. But kiss me first, I'm exhausted, I'll probably fall asleep as soon as I hit the pillow." Bogum chuckles, bringing his husband in tightly for a deep passionate kiss. "Goodnight my love."

"Goodnight Bogumie" Tae whispers.

Third Person P.O.V

After leaving his husband in their room Tae decides to peak in on Jungkook, hoping the younger is still awake so he can explain. What he didn't know was that the sight before him would crush his heart.

There was Jungkook still with his jacket and shoes on. Leaning over the bed, sobbing. Doing his best to muffle the tears.

Jungkook is startled whenever he feels two slender arms coming around, hugging him from behind.

"I'm so sorry, Kookie.. I I d-didn't know he—"

Jungkook just turned around, not giving a shit about the fact the Hoseok was asleep in the room. He grabbed Tae's neck pulling him into a kiss. A desperate kiss. One that was being drowned in his tears and emotions.

Tae was shocked but not by the kiss by the fact that he didn't even hesitate to kiss the younger back. There they were both on the floor. Arms entangled as their lips danced together allowing their tongues to explore each other's endlessly. So perfect. They both felt it, they both wanted this more than anything.

Jungkook pulls away, lowering his arms to grasp Tae's small waist pulling him closely.  "Choose me" he whispers, desperately.

Tae's eyes widen in shock. He never expected to hear those words. He didn't want to hear those words. Not now.. "Jungkook.. what are you saying. You have Li-" Tae is cut off by Jungkook showing him the beautiful engagement ring that once accompanied Lisa's finger.

"I was never supposed to marry her. Tae. I'm sorry. I know I said I wouldn't do this but fuck. I can't" Jungkook's breath hitched, desperately trying to maintain a whisper "I can't walk away, I can't go back to Korea leaving you here. Knowing someone else gets to hold you at night and claim you as theirs. I want to kiss you every second of every day. I want to hold you in my arms until I die... please Tae.. V.. beautiful.. please choose me."

Suddenly Tae feels empty. Blank. He had no idea Jungkook would do this. Even though he himself would have begged for this in any other circumstance. God knows how many nights Tae has dreamt that he was married to Jungkook but that doesn't change anything.

Tae has a husband. One that was there for him during a very dark time in his life. Before Tae can respond Jungkook cups his face again smashing their lips together. Tae wants to push him off but doesn't. He melts. He lets himself savor ever second because he knows that once he says what he's going to say. Everything will change forever... he is going to loose Jungkook for good. But he can't yet. He wants one last moment of loving the younger.

So he pulls Jungkook up. Pushing him back into the bed and climbing on top of him. Straddling the younger as he leans down to reunite their lips. The kiss turns heated, fast. Both boys gripping at each other's bodies. And it was as if their minds were linked whenever Jungkook suddenly pulls away. Allowing his hands to relax on Tae's lower back. Holding the older firmly as he says "It's okay.. you don't have to do this"

Tae feels his heart breaking again at the youngers words "K-Kookie" Tae barely gets out before sobbing

Jungkook places their foreheads together, stroking Tae's soft blonde locks. Twirling them in his fingers. "I'm selfish. A coward. Immature. I've always been those things." He sighs "how dare I ask you to give up this beautiful life. I won't."

Tae's sobs are uncontrollable as he now has his face burrowed into the crook of Jungkook's neck trying so hard to muffle the sounds.

"So no matter what you say, Tae. I am leaving tomorrow. I am going to Korea and you are staying here. Even if it k-kills me.. I'm going to keep my promise."

Tae leans up, combining their lips together again. Whispering into the kiss "I'm always going to love you"

Jungkook shakes his head as he gently lifts himself and the older up to a sitting position. Taking in one last kiss. Staring into those beautiful brown oceans as if for the last time. "Never as much as I love you".

Tae wants more, he throws his hands around Jungkook's nape but feels two soft fingers pressing against his lips "p-please, I'm already dying. If you kiss me again.. I really don't think I'll survive a life without you" Jungkook barely mumbles out.

Tae understands. He knows that they were foolish. They both knew this would happen, knowing it would be impossible to walk away from each other for the second time in their life. Yet here they are. Four years later. In the same position, accept this time it hurts much deeper.

Jungkook and Taehyung sit across from each other. Both with tear stained cheeks. Unwavering. Knowing that no matter how much they love each other, they never get the timing right. They haven't changed. They've grown on the outside but inside they are still two cowards.

Hopelessly in love but too scared to make the leap. 

💔

A/N: I broke their hearts... gah don't hate me.

Please leave a comment telling me what you're thinking or feeling so far. It would mean so much to me. Also I noticed I made it on the ranks for #btsau so omg tysm for viewing my little story.