Warnings: smut, disregard of pronouns, dysphoria mention, emotional abuse(?), and vulgar language. This stuff is all just mentioned as josh and tyler talk about it.

Disclaimer: I am a cisgender, bisexual female and so I have no idea what is like to be a trans, gay man so I am sorry if I offend anyone! I'm gonna say this here and I'll repeat it in other chapters where I feel like people can get mad at me for things. If I have gotten something completely wrong/offensive, please give me advice on how to make it better!

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Josh grunted as a weight settled on him, eyes slowly opening to see his boyfriend happily perched on his chest, wiggling his little hips.

"Ty what are you," Josh's question was cut off by a soft kiss to his lips, Tyler's hands trailing down his body and towards his boxers. Josh let out a soft moan, he always enjoyed being dominated by Tyler. It was nice to see the usually shy man take what he wanted. It was at this moment that Josh remembered what had happened last night. Talk about a cock block. Josh pulled back from the kiss, sitting up so he could see Tyler and so the younger man couldn't avoid his questions with kisses.

"Honey what about last night?" Josh got out breathily since Tyler had started to attack his neck half way through his question.

"Tyler," Josh attempted to be stern, but the teacher whined in annoyance.

"I don't wanna talk about it Josh," Tyler whispered, "I just wanna be close to my boyfriend, right now," Tyler purred, running his fingers through Josh's hair. The older man bit his lip, not sure what he wanted to do. He wanted to make sure his boyfriend was okay after last night, but also didn't want to see his confidence drain from him. Josh sat unsurely for a second before nodding his head slightly.

"You tell me when you need me to stop, the exact second Tyler," Josh said, tone firm as he gripped Tyler's hips tightly. Tyler nodded his head to show he understood before pulling Josh back into the kiss. Josh got lost in the kiss, holding his boyfriend with such care like he was scared Tired might break in half. It was the standard make out session that they were used to having. Until Tyler took one of Josh's hands and casually led it into his boxers. Josh's fingers trembled as they touched Tyler's coarse pubic hair, trimmed to by hygienic, but not like how the girls Josh has been with were like. Josh reminded himself that Tyler was no girl and he shouldn't be comparing him to past relationships.

"Be tender," Tyler instructed, letting go of Josh's hand and moving his own up to clench at Josh's bicep. Josh gulped audibly, not wanting to accidentally hurt Tyler or cause him discomfort. Josh thought back to his past with girls and by-passed Tyler's clit to rub his labia slowly. Tyler inhaled sharply, rocking into Josh's touch.

"Sensitive honey?" Josh whispered, Tyler nodding his head against Josh's shoulder. The older man slowly made his way up to Tyler's clit, letting his thumb circle the nub, gradually getting faster. Josh kissed at Tyler's neck during this process, listening to Tyler's keens and moans.

"Joshua, oh Joshua, JOSHUA!"

Josh shot awake to the harsh shaking, looking over at the flustered Tyler. The pink haired man glanced down at his crotch and Josh let out a loud groan, rubbing a hand over his face.

"I'm sorry baby boy," Josh said, his voice groggy. He made to get up, needing to calm down away from Tyler so he didn't pressure his boyfriend. The last thing he wanted was for Tyler to be uncomfortable. Soft hands on his chest stopped him, Tyler pulling Josh back onto the bed. Josh looked at him confusedly, but Tyler didn't meet his eyes, focusing on drawing shapes on Josh's chest.

"Honey?" Josh whispered, reaching up to cover Tyler's hand with his own, pausing his movements.

"Have to get used to it, don't I?" Tyler whispered, bringing Josh's knuckles to his lips before putting them back on his chest.

"Can't be with the man I love if I can't handle his wet dreams," Tyler joked solemnly, Josh smiling warily.

"Baby can we talk about last night?" Josh asked, eyes focused solely on Tyler to watch his reactions. Tyler paused for a second before nodding slowly.

"Take your time darling," Josh whispered, slowly sitting up in the bed and pulling Tyler to sit in his lap. The younger man curled up to his chest, fingers hooking in Josh's collarbone for a brief moment. Josh rubbed his back tenderly, waiting for Tyler to start.

"It wasn't a sudden thing... I think I always knew that I was different. Girls like dolls and dresses and I would scream and cry every Sunday when my mom attempt to put me in a dress. I liked to play basketball and get dirty, no matter how much my parents scolded me for getting 'your pretty skirt, Tyler!' dirty," Tyler started, brushing his fingers over Josh's peck. It wasn't in an intimate way, more of a subconscious action.

"When I turned fourteen I met this kid, Mikey, in high school. His sibling was transgender, only male to female. Went from Gerard to Gemma," the name tickled the back of Josh's mind, but he couldn't for the life of him remember why. Not that he cared about anything other than Tyler's word right now.

"I wanted to be Tyler Robert instead of Robin, my family believed it to be a phase, but it was who I was - am. I moved out at eighteen and rarely talked to my family unless I was forced too. Got top surgery at twenty-one, wearing binders hurt, though I sometimes wear them when I feel less... masculine I guess you could say," Tyler trailed off, letting his fingers play with Josh's happy trail, plucking a hair here and there. Josh's muscles contracted with each pluck, but he didn't stop Tyler.

"Do you feel less masculine often?" Josh asked, speaking for the first time in twenty minutes. Tyler had paused in his story, plucking at the hairs on Josh's chest and stomach absentmindedly.

"No, not really... Sometimes on my, um, period or if I think about the past. I'm pretty confident in my body, though having a vagina sometimes messes with my head..." Tyler admitted, humming softly when Josh's hand came up to rub his calf gently, blunt fingernails dragging through the body hair found there.

"And have you thought of bottom surgery?" Josh prodded nervously, not wanting to be insensitive. Tyler's lips quirked into a smile at the question, tilting his head up to finally look at Josh.

"Yeah, and I think I'll pass on that part. Besides vaginal sex feels better than anal," Tyler giggled softly, Josh pulling him closer. He loved seeing Tyler smile and giggle.

"I understand if you are not into it and want to like break up," Tyler whispered, his smile suddenly gone and the insecurity showing on his face once more. Josh shifted Tyler so he was straddling his lap and wrapped his arms around his waist.

"Honey, I wouldn't leave your side even if you were asexual. I'd love anything between your legs, even if it had something to do with tentacles." Tyler pushed him playfully at that, a small smile on his lips.

"And you wanna know something else?" Tyler nodded his head, biting his lip in a way that made Josh wanna flip them over and fuck him into the mattress.

"My dream was about playing with your clit and listening to your little noises that I am sure you make," Josh watched as Tyler's face turned red and didn't miss the subtle jerk his hips gave, seeking friction probably. Josh grinned at his boyfriend, patting his backside for a quick second and sitting back against the headboard.

"You dream about playing with my clit?" The word coming out of Tyler's mouth could have made Josh cum instantly if he was a teenager. Tyler did not like cursing, especially with Olivia in the house, so to hear such dirty words fall from his lips was hot.

Josh nodded his head, holding Tyler's hips tightly so he couldn't move them. Tyler huffed at him and they continued their conversation. Tyler's eyes widened when Josh revealed what he had told his family and burst into laughs that wracked his entire body. The both agreed never to call Tyler's bottom anatomy a cock ever again. Josh thumbed Tyler's hips, a lull in their conversation, one thought wracking his head over and over again.

"Hey Ty, how come you didn't want to tell me?" Josh finally asked, Tyler sighing, but he knew it was coming. He just didn't want to try an explain and hurt Josh's feelings.

"Protecting myself I guess? I didn't think you would come to mean so much to me or that I would ever meet you in person and here you are. I tried so many times to tell you that I was trans. How you didn't figure it out I will never know, missed health class baby?" Tyler teased, Josh knocking him off his lap. The teacher laughed and climbed back on top of his boyfriend.

"Plus I had bad relationships in the past where they find out I'm trans and say they are okay with it, but it was never long before they started to call me a sissy or a female or something like that. I didn't want you to be like that," Tyler whispered, wrapping his arms around Josh's neck. The older man rubbed his back and leaned up to press his lips to his briefly.

"I'd never hurt you or treat you different Ty. I actually dated a transgender woman in high school, couldn't figure it out then either," Tyler grinned at him, Josh rolling his eyes.

"But I had no problem with her, my problem was how people treated her when they found out. I wish with everything in me that I had been able to show her that I wasn't like the others. I'll spend my life showing you just how much you mean to me, how much you mean to my daughter Ty. I love you so much and that isn't going to change. Even if you turned out to be a killer."

Tyler's eyes were watering at Josh's admission, wrapping his arms around him tightly.

"I love you too sugar," Tyler whispered, pressing their lips together. Josh grinned into the kiss, flipping them so Tyler was on his back. The older man swallowed the younger's gasp, slipping his tongue into his mouth. Josh pulled back from the kiss, leaving Tyler breathless as he kissed down his jaw and towards his ear.

"Let me show you how much you mean to me, baby boy."

･ ｡ﾟ☆: *.☽ .* :☆ﾟ.

Word Count: 1,733

i hope you guys enjoyed this! let me know your favorite part(s)! send me some cute ideas for fluffy chapters please!

until next time, 

stay alive sunshines

- courtney xox