Parang baliw ako na pagulong-gulong sa kama. My assumera and malandi self is rejoicing right now because Martell the "angel-like-medyo-snobber-pero-feeling-ko-close-na-kami-ngayon" drove me home.

Napansin niya yata na wala akong balak umalis at napatanong na kung may balak daw ba akong matulog sa gym. Naawa yata sa akin ang anghel na 'yon at nag-alok na ihatid ako.

Alam kong hindi naman kami ganoon ka-close pero may tiwala ako sa instincts ko. Kahit hindi kami best-of-friends, magaan pa rin ang loob ko sa kaniya

"Thanks for the ride, dude," I beamed with a wink. He leaned on his seat, then pressing a button to unlock the doors of his car.

He owned a sleek black Cadillac SUV and it was damn tidy and smelled good like him!

"Have a good night, Axyne." He smiled. There was something with the way he said my name that made it sound nice. I felt something in my stomach that gave me this weird yet good sensation that spread all throughout my body.

"I'll treat you some other time for this," I said before giving him one last look and went out of his car.

Huli ko nang napagtanto na pinipigilan ko na pala ang paghinga. Pinagmasdan ko ang papalayong niyang sasakyan. At nang mawala na iyon sa aking paningin, saka ako pumasok sa building.

Pagkabukas, bago ako tumungo sa gym, napagdesisyonan ko munang bisitahin si mama Celestina sa hospital. As usual, busy ito pero magkasama kaming nakapag-meryenda.

"How's school?" Ani mama bago binuksan ang biniling yogurt para sa akin.

Kinuha ko iyon at nagsimula nang kumain habang tumatango-tango sa kaniya. "It's good. I think I'm starting to like someone," I admitted.

I'm still not sure whatever this is I'm having for Martell but I feel like I might have a crush on him.

"Well... like what I always say, just be careful." She smiled and winked. "Also make sure not to tell this to London. She'll just confuse you and will overreact that you might get your heart broken."

Nagkatinginan kami ni mama at saka natawa. She was right, though. London does have a tendency of making everyone wary when it comes to matter that has something to do with the heart.

Mama had to continue her shift while I changed to my workout clothes on her office's bathroom. Nang lumabas ako sa office niya, may nakabungguan akong bata.

She looked like about three years old and judging by her teary eyes, she's probably lost.

"Hey, baby girl, are you lost?" I asked but she frowned even more and looked like she was gonna burst into tears.

She raised a hand and pointed a finger. "Cinderlla, Cinder..."

Cinderlla? Cinder?

Napatingin ako sa sarili at napagtantong si Cinderella pala ang tinutukoy niya. I was wearing a plain tee with some pop-art prints of Disney princesses.

I kneeled in front of her and smiled, "You like Cinderella as well?"

She nodded, a small smile appearing on her face. My heart couldn't help but melt at the sight. 

This baby's a real cutie!

She then opened her arms as if asking me to carry her. Her eyes looked tired and it seems to me that she wants me to carry her so she could sleep.

I uncomfortably looked around. Her parents might be looking for her and I might be mistaken as a kidnapper!

But before I could think, she impatiently stomped her foot so I had no choice but to carry her. Habang karga-karga ko siya, umupo ako sa isa sa mga silya, hindi alam kung ano ang gagawin.

"Can you sing please?" Napakamot ako sa ulo nng narinig ang request niya.

I do not know who this child is but then... I have a soft spot for children. With the guess that she likes Cinderella, I started humming "a dream is a wish your heart makes" which also happens to be my favorite song.

"I'm Fairy," aniya bago hinigpitan ang pagkakayakap sa akin.

I'm not sure if she thinks she's a fairy or that's really her name. But nonetheless, I still nodded and agreed, not wanting to upset her.

There was something in her embrace, and the way Fairy nuzzled snugly on my neck that made my heart feel like glowing.

Children can be major headaches but what I really like about them is their simplicity and innocence. They don't complicate things like what most adults do. Mababaw lang ang kanilang kaligayan at may kung ano sa mga ngiti at tawa nila na nagpapagaan ng loob ko.

Alam kong male-late ako sa pilates session ko ngayon pero alangan namang iiwanan ko lang si Fairy dito?

Masuyo kong hinaplos ang kaniyang buhok hanggang sa narinig ko ang mahihina niyang mga hilik ngunit agad din namang nagising ulit nang may tumawag ng kaniyang pangalan kasabay ng patakbong mga yabag.

Napatingin ako sa tumawag at muntik nang mabitawan si Fairy sa nakita.

"Martell?"

"Axyne?" Sabay naming sambit at mukhang katulad ko, nagulat din siya sa nakita.

"What are you doing here?" Sabay ulit kami nagsalita.

"She asked me to carry and sing for her and she fell asleep," I answered, curious on his connection with Fairy.

"OH MY GOSH!" Bigla akong napatayo na nagpagulat sa kanilang dalawa.

Nang napagtanto ang ginawa, agad akong bumalik sa pagkakaupo at nagpatay-malisya. 

What if anak pala ni Martell si Fairy? 

Sayang! Akala ko pa naman may pag-asa ako!

"What's with the oh my gosh?" He asked, mocking my surprised tone with an amused look. "And by the way, that's my niece you're carrying. Her parents are going crazy looking for her."

Dahil sa narinig, napahinga ako nang maluwag kahit malapit na akong masakal ni Fairy sa higpit ng kaniyang yakap. Napansin iyon ni Martell kaya lumapit siya sa akin at hinawakan si Fairy sa baywang at kukunin na sana.

Nagtama ang aming mga paningin at katulad noong isang araw, naramdaman ko naman ang kakaiba ngunit nakakabaliw na sensasyon. Parang may kung anong dumaloy mula sa dibdib ko na kumalat sa buo kong katawan.

Kung hindi ko lang naramdaman ang paghigpit ng hawak ni Fairy sa aking leeg, mag-iimagine na naman sana ako ng kung ano-anong kapilyuhan.

"Oh my gosh, Martell..." I said, almost out of breath. The more he tries to take Fairy away from me, the the tighter she clings to my neck.

"Are you sure she's your niece?" I asked, half-joking.

He gave me a mocking smile before rolling his eyes, "What do you think of me? A kidnapper?"

No, but I think you kidnapped my heart. A part of my mind answered.

Napangisi ako sa naiisip, sandaling nakalimutan na sinasakal ako ni Fairy. Hindi nagtagal, dumating din naman ang mga magulang ni Fairy ngunit katulad sa nangyari kay Martell, ayaw pa rin niyang umalis sa pagkakakarga ko.

"I'm sorry," Fairy's mom mouthed before trying to get her child's attention. "Mon cherie, we have to go now," she said with heavy accent but in a rather soothing tone.

She smiled apologetically again but I assured her with a smile. It wasn't until Fairy fell asleep that they were finally able to take her from me. They even showed me a family picture of them as a proof that they really are Fairy's parents.

When Fairy and her parents left, I was left with Martell. As he casually leaned on the wall, he was once again sporting a curious look.

"What are you doing here?" We both asked in unison.

"I'm visiting someone," sagot ko at hinintay ang kaniya.

"Well... I'm visiting someone too..." aniya at saka kami binalot ng nakakabinging katahimikan. Hindi ko na alam kung ano ang sasabihin kaya nagpaalam na lang ako.

Akala ko, pupunta rin siya sa gym ngunit hindi ko siya nakita roon. Bakante rin ang palagi niyang inuupuan kaya napagtanto ko na baka wala siyang schedule ngayon.

"Gazella!" Tawag ni Olivia ngunit nasa kung saan ang isipan ko. Napangisi ang katabi niyang si Sasha bago sumimsim sa inumin.

"Hayaan mo na, hindi yata nakita ang daily dose of vitamin M," ani Sasha. She's right though. The last time I saw Martell was at the hospital.

The two gave me mischievous looks and teasing grins. I raised both hand as if trying to tell them I'm innocent while shaking my head.

But then, why am I bothered with his absence? Since when did I get too involved in someone else's life? And why does it feel like something has been missing since the day I didn't get to see him? What is wrong with me?

"You know what? Let's go to the sea this Sunday," pag-aaya ni Sasha. "Let's hope vitamin sea would atone for G's lack of vitamin—"

"Okay, stop it!" Pinalakihan ko sila ng mata ngunit tumawa lang ang mga baliw. We never really talked about it but it seems to me that they didn't have to be told.

So, if that's the case... it simply means one thing: I'm making it obvious!

But... I'm not even sure what this is! Paano magiging obvious kung wala naman akong tinatago o ano! Pero... wala nga ba?

"Ugh! You're confusing me!" Singhal ko sa dalawa pero mas lumapad ang kanilang mga ngisi.

"Girl, we're not even saying anything!" Pag-depensa ni Sasha. Now that she mentioned it, I feel like I'm  being too defensive!

And this "defensiveness" in me would actually feed whatever it is that they're thinking! Oh gosh!

Rule number 2, keep calm. London's voice rang in my ears.

And now that I'm thinking about her, I was then reminded about her list on how to avoid heartbreaks which is actually not really helpful right now!

I could hear her voice telling me that I've messed up and that my heartbreak is coming and it's making me crazy!

Dahil hindi ako mapakali, nagtipa na lang ako ng message para sa kaniya, tumigil lang nang napansin ang mga nakakalokong tingin ng mga kaibigan, lalo na si Sasha.

"It's my friend!"

Wow, so much for not being defensive!

"Again, we're not saying anything!" She rolled her eyes and continued with her food but a ghost of a smile was playing on her lips. "Nabaliw na talaga," she whispered.

Ako:

what will happen if i broke one of the rules on the list?

London happens to have this "how to avoid heartbreaks" list which we all follow not because she forced us to but because my friends and I are all scaredy-cats of being in a relationship.

Hindi nagtagal, nag-reply din naman siya.

London:

malay ko. hindi ko naman nilabag eh.

I sighed. 'Di bale na, edi heartbreak kung heartbreak!

Sabay kaming umuwi nina Sasha at Olivia at pinag-planohan din namin ang lakad namin sa Sunday.

Bukas na ang party ni Inigo at hindi kumulang sa limang messages ang natatanggap ko mula sa kaniya araw-araw na nagre-remind sa akin tungkol sa birthday niya.

Hindi ko alam kung pupunta ba si Martell pero sana naman nandoon siya. Siya pa naman ang dahilan kung ba't ako naganahang pumunta.

"Galaxy! You came!" I had to force a smile when Inigo launched on to me. "Why are you late though."

Hay, why did he even ask?

"I didn't want to come," I whispered to myself but he only laughed when he heard.

"Damn, you really know how to make me smile, Galaxy." Aniya bago tinanggap ang regalo. Narinig ng iba pang mga bisita ang sinabi niya kaya nagsitilian sila. May mga kaibigan pa siyang tinulak-tulak siya sa akin pero agad naman akong umilag.

Buti na lang at may iba pang mga bisita na dumating kaya nakalayo na ako. Dumiretso ako sa may bar at doon natagpuan ang taong ilang araw ko ring hindi nakita.

Parang lumiwanag bigla ang paligid ko nang makita si Martell. Kumportable siyang nakaupo sa isang stool at may hawak na glass. When he saw me, he raised it as if clinking with an invisible glass.

"Didn't know you'd come," I said when I neared him. I sat on the stool beside him before ordering a drink. "It's good to see you, Martell."

A smile curved on his lips. The party lights which was illuminating the dark place hit his face, then making his orbs glisten like honey. I guess the other factor that made me think of him as this "angel-like" dude is because of his eyes that I just noticed were hazel in color.

He titled his head, curious with the look I was giving him. When he realized that I had no plan in averting my gaze, he was the one who looked away instead while biting his lips.

Since he's view is focused to the front, I had the access to freely admire his side view. I thought he was actually looking at the front, but basing on the way his jaw is clenching and the way he swallowed hard as if trying to stop himself from doing something made me think that he might be looking at me with his peripheral vision.

"Did my stare make you uncomfortable?" I asked. "I'm sorry."

He faced me and shook his head, a small smile appearing in his face. "No, no, it's not that... there was just something that I couldn't quite explain..."

I got curious with what he was pertaining to but then, if he can't explain it then why should I bother being overthinking about it?

"I hope it's not something negative."

"It's the opposite actually," aniya bago inisang lagok ang inumin. "Why'd you arrive late anyway?"

"I didn't want to come," I said in a low voice. Though the electric music was deafening, I still wanted to make sure that no one would hear except us.

Just like Inigo, Martell, too, got amused with my answer!

"Why are you laughing?" Nalilito kong tanong. Kung sasabihin niyang ako ang happy pill niya, eh aba, siyempre maiintindihan ko! 

"I'm just mean, and sarcastic, and a flirt, and people think I'm joking!" I added.

He laughed even more but I'm not complaining. His smile and laugh was so genuine and contagious that I unconsciously smiled as well. Nanliliit na ang kaniyang mga mata sa katatawa kaya biglang naging chinito na ang paningin ko sa kaniya.

"I haven't laughed like this for a long time," aniya bago inisang lagok ulit ang kare-refill niyang inumin.

I smirked. My charms are probably working on him when in fact I'm not even doing anything yet!

Damn, Galaxy! You go girl!

Ipinalibot ko ang tingin, nag-iisip kung anong pwedeng gawin. May photo booth pala rito at in fairness kay Inigo, maganda ang kabuuan ng venue niya.

Nagpakuha ako ng solo pics doon sa photo booth at nang paalis na sana, biglang sumulpot si Marga galing sa kung saan at inaya akong magpa-pic. Nang matapos kaming dalawa, si Martell naman ang dumating.

"Brother dear picture kayo ni Gazella!" Aniya bago hinawakan ang kapatid sa palapulsuhan at saka hinatak kaming dalawa pabalik sa photo booth.

Hulog ng langit ka, Margarita!

"Thanks!" Sabi ko nang makuha ang litrato. It wasn't like the usual ones from photo booths but rather the classic strip type. Pahaba iyon at black and white pa.

Aalis na sana ako ngunit hindi gumalaw si Martell. Lito ko siyang tinitigan ngunit tinaasan niya lang ako ng kilay.

"I have no copy," he said matter-of-factly. Though surprised with him, I still went back beside him and had another set of pictures taken.

When Martell got his photo strip, someone called him, making him groan but he still left. I was now left alone with Margarita who was shamelessly sporting a triumphant smile.

"My hunch is right," aniya pero bago pa ako makapagtanong, hinatak niya na ako papuntang dance floor.

Everyone were starting to get wild. May dalawang nagbukas ng champagne at ako ang napuruhan kaya basang-basa ang damit ko. Ngunit dahil itim naman ang suot ko, hindi iyon halata kaya hinayaan ko na lang at patuloy sa sumayaw.

The song "iTwerk" was blasting on the speakers and it heightened the spirits of the exuberant crowd, making the already uproarious party even wilder.

Bilang dakilang partygoer, siyempre nakisali ako sa kasiyahan at ang inakala kong hindi makabasag pinggan na si Margarita ay parang walang bukas kung makapaghataw.

Sobrang liberated at outgoing ng mga tao rito. Kahit hindi ko naman kilala ang mga bisita ni Inigo, hindi iyon naging hadlang para makapag-socialize ako. May nakausap din ako na mga tanyag na social media influencers and so far, cool naman sila.

Iniwan ko muna si Margarita sa dance floor at naghanap ng banyo. Sa unang pagkakataon, nagpasalamat ako na nakita ko si Inigo at saka nagpaturo sa kaniya kung saan pwedeng mag-cr.

Dumiretso ako sa tinuro niyang pintuan. Ngunit pagkabukas ko niyon, natapilok ako sa gulat sa nakita.

Saktong pagpasok ko ng kwarto ay ang pagbagsak ng dalawang tao sa kama. Gulat akong napatingin sa kanila at ganoon din ang dalawa. Ang mas nakakagulat pa ay si Martell ang isa.

Nakapalibot ang braso ng babae kay Martell na nakapatong sa taas nito. Alam ko ang susunod na mangyayari kaya dali-dali akong tumalikod at kumaripas ng takbo. Mukhang naistorbo ko yata ang dalawa at ayaw ko namang makasaksi ng live performance.

Naghanap na lang ako ng isa pang kwarto na may CR at iyon ang ginamit. Naghilamos ako at nag-retouch ng makeup bago inayos ang damit at saka lumabas habang iniisip ang nasaksihan bago lang.

Napatakip ako ng bibig nang mapagtanto ang lahat. It was Martell! Ang mala-anghel na lalaking iyon ay... ay...

"Ay heaven!" Wala sa sarili akong napasambit nang biglang may tumawag sa akin. Napatingin ako sa likuran at nakita si Martell na kaswal na nakasandal sa dingding.

"Axyne," he called again.

I gave him a curious look, wondering why he's here when I just saw him with someone a while ago. But oh well... I guess they're done.

But damn... that was quick!

Ipinalibot ko ang tingin, sinusubukang hanapin ang babaeng kasama niya kanina. Hindi iyon mahirap hanapin lalo na't parang disco ball ang suot niya. Kumikinang ang damit niya sa may dance floor. At kahit medyo malayo ang kinaroroonan namin ni Martell, hindi pa rin nakatakas sa tingin ko ang babae. She, too, is looking at us, a satisfied smirk was playing on her lips.

Damn! Looks like this angel-like man could actually bring you to heaven, huh?

Martell had a grim expression on his face but was immediately replaced when I turned back to him. He cleared his throat as if wanting to say something but doesn't know what.

"Dont worry," sabi ko at bumaling sa gilid at siniguradong walang nakakarinig sa amin. Nilapit ko ang mukha sa kaniya at bumulong, "Your secret is safe."

I smirked at him then winked. Pangisi-ngisi lang ako pero may kung ano na sa kalooban ko na parang sinasaksak ako.

Hmm... sa gulat siguro ito dahil sa nakita.

Tinalikuran ko na si Martell at naglakad pabalik sa may bar at doon muna tumambay. Umupo ako sa inupuan ko kanina at ganoon din si Martell. Bumukas ang kaniyang bibig, mukhang may sasabihin ngunit bago niya pa magawa iyon, ang mala-disco ball niyang kasama kanina ay lumapit.

She flirtatiously slid her hands down Martell's abdomen. I didn't want to witness their PDA session so I swiveled my seat to the other direction; opposite to where Martell was sitting.

"Irene..." I heard him say, his voice controlled yet laced with annoyance. "Please stop bothering me..."

Ay grabe, pagkatapos niyong mag-ano, ayaw mo na agad sa kaniya? My judgmental and inner critic said. I shook my head, trying to shrug off these bias judgements. Wala akong kaalam-alam tungkol sa kanila kaya huwag dapat akong mag-isip-isip ng kung ano-anong panghuhusga.

But... let's say the two did the deed and now Martell doesn't want anything to do with the girl... does that mean that what they had was a one time thing? Is that really the trend nowadays? One night stands and no string attached kind of stuffs? O ganon lang ba talaga kabilis magsawa ang mga tao? O sadyang panandaliang kasiyahan lang talaga ang hanap?

Patuloy kong inisip ang mga tanong na iyon ngunit wala akong matinong sagot. At isa pa, wala akong karanasan sa mga iyon kaya mas lalo akong walang kaalam-alam sa mga ganoong bagay.

"Gazella!" Tawag ni Inigo bago ako hinatak papunta sa mga kaibigan niya. Pagkatapos mag-usap-usap ng sandali, nagpaalam na ako at umuwi. Hindi ko na nakita pa ulit si Martell at ganoon din si Margarita. May lakad pa kami nina Olivia at Sasha bukas kaya hindi pwedeng magpagabi ako ngayon.

After doing my nighttime routine, I decided to spend some time on social media. I was scrolling through my Twitter when an article caught my attention.

Just like what I felt earlier, a bothersome and painful sensation was in my chest. It was as if like someone plunged a knife. Though not that painful, it was still uncomfortable and weird.

It took me a lot of time rereading the headline before I was actually able to comprehend it. I reread it again, the weird feeling on my chest worsening.

International Model Irene, and Promising Singer Martell, Now Back Together?