"So, how are you and your baby daddy?" Caramel asked with a smirk, her brows wiggling teasingly. She moved her chair nearer to mine's and gave me an attentive look.

Kasalukuyan kaming nasa labas ng ICU dahil nasa loob ang kapatid ni Sugar. Nagulat pa nga kami dahil sa pagkakaalam namin ay only-child ang kaibigan ngunit hindi naman maitatanggi na magkapamilya nga sila ng babaeng nagpakilalang kapatid ni Sugar dahil marami silang pagkakahawig.

I sighed, then started telling them. Ever since they found out about Martell, they got more and more curious. It's like their thirst for my love life can't be fully satiated. Though I also couldn't stop myself from filling them in since I'm enjoying it too for some unknown reason. It's like we're back to our early high school days with all these "boy-talks".

"He gave you a love mark?" Ani Vanilla habang kumikinang ng kuryosidad at pagkamangha ang kaniyang mga mata. "Let me see!"

"Anong love mark?! Hickey 'yon, pinasosyal mo lang," ani naman ni Caramel at napailing na lang dahil sa isang kaibigan. "I don't want to see it but... how was it?" She asked while wiggling her brows.

I scoffed. "Nakuwento ko na nga sainyo diba?"

Nagkibit-balikat lang ang dalawa at patuloy akong kinausap. Hindi na rin naman ako nagtagal sa hospital at dumiretso na sa hotel. Nadatnan ko si Babes sa labas ng kwarto ko at mukhang hinihintay ako.

"Huy! Sismars! Salamat sa mga regalo, ah!" Ani Babes at tumakbo sa kinaroroonan ko at saka ako niyakap. "May pa sorry-sorry ka pa noong nakaraan pero may regalo ka naman pala."

"Huh?" Lito kong tanong. Sa pagkakaalam ko, hindi ko nabigyan si Babes ng regalo dahil naiwan ko sa restaurant ang mga pinamili ko na si Martell pa ang nagbayad. Unless... pinadala ni Martell kay Babes?

"Kaloka ka! Tama na ang pa-humble," ani Babes at saka humalakhak. Sandali kaming nag-usap bago ko siya pinaalis. Wala naman kasi akong ipapagawa kaya sinabihan ko na lang siya na pwede na siyang maglakwatsa.

Naligo ako at saka nagbihis. Wala akong maisip na pwedeng gawin kaya humiga na lang ako sa sofa at tumunganga. Nang gumabi ay um-order lang ako mula sa restaurant sa ibaba at sa kwarto kumain.

Patuloy akong binabagabag ng nangyari kahapon kaya hindi ako nakatulog kahit gusto ko nang magpahinga. Napasinghal na lang ako at tumungo sa balkonahe at saka nagpahangin. Bumalik lang ako sa loob nang narinig kong mag-ring ang cellphone.

Bago itong cellphone ko dahil nasa kay Martell pa ang cellphone ko. Pinabili ko ito kay Babes nang maiwan ko ang bag noong nag-meeting kami.

Hindi ko alam kung sino itong tumatawag dahil unregistered ang number pero sinagot ko pa rin.

"Hello? Gazella? Is this you?" A familiar voice asked on the other line. "This is Gabriello."

Pagkatapos niyon ay may t-in-ext siyang address ng isang bar at saka ako pinapunta roon. Kinailangan ko pang magbihis dahil baka may dress code at hindi pa ako makapasok. Hindi ko alam kung ba't ako tinawagan ni Gabriello dahil ang sinabi niya lang ay kailangan kong pumunta roon.

"Why did you call me?" Nalilito kong tanong sa mga pinsan ni Martell na nginitian lang ako. Nakakagaan ng loob na mabuti ang pagtrato nila sa akin kahit pagkatapos ng pag-alis ko noon.

"You're the first one we thought of," Chloe said, then glancing at Martell who was asleep on the corner of their booth. "Plus, he's looking for his 'Axyne'. He's looking for you so we called you."

I bit my lips, unsure on what to feel because of what they said. Is it normal to feel a tug on my heart when I heard that he's looking for his "Axyne"? I mean... does it mean something? Or am I just getting lost in my fantasies again?

"How did you get my number?"

Instead of answering me, they only smiled before turning to their drunk cousin. They asked me to take him to his condo which I reluctantly agreed on doing so.

He still lives in the same unit but it looked different than the last time I went here. Nothing remained the same and though I stepped foot on his condo before, everything looks different and feels different.

Martell's arms were draped around me as we struggled towards his room. When I successfully got him to lie down, I took off his shoes and covered him with his comforter. I was about to leave when he held my wrist and pulled me to the bed.

Damn it! Stop playing tricks on me! Marupok ako, Martell!

"Where are you going? Are you leaving me again, Axyne?"

My heart pounded wildly in my chest when I heard his endearment. The only time he said that ever since we saw each other again was when we were at the gym in Maldives. After that, he called me "Gazella", to my dismay.

I swallowed hard, then reminding myself that he's drunk and maybe— oh! oh! I don't think I read the situation right. I'm assuming things again.

When that sudden realization hit me, it felt like my heart sank. I closed my eyes and shook my head, a bit disappointed with myself.

"I'm not the 'Axyne' you're looking for," I said in a low voice, trying not to make the dismay in my voice obvious. "Maliaxinne isn't here. Your 'Axinne' isn't here. But don't worry, I'll ask someone to call her—"

I paused and let out a shriek when he pulled me down beside him. His arms were encircling my waist while his neck is resting on the space between my head and my shoulders, hugging me from behind.

"There's no other 'Axyne'"," he whispered sensually, electric heat seemed to flow down my spine. "You're the only Axyne..."

Napapikit ulit ako, pilit na pinapakalma ang sarili at ipinapaalala na huwag dapat akong mag-assume. Lasing lang siya kaya wala siya sa tamang pag-iisip dahil ang gising at totoong Martell ay may galit sa akin.

"You're my only Axyne..."

My breathing hitched because of his words and I had to leave his side to calm my palpitating heart. I closed my eyes and convinced myself to leave. As much as I want to stay here, I shouldn't do so. Pinagbigyan ko na ang sarili kahapon at hindi na pwede iyong maulit. Kailangan kong tandaan na sinaktan ko siya noon at ayaw ko na iyong maulit.

I turned to Martell who's now trying to search for a pillow with his eyes closed. When he got hold of a pillow, he took it to his chest and embraced it tightly. His forehead was crinkling so I went back to his side and sat on the edge of the bed, then massaging his forehead.

Nang kumalma ang kaniyang mukha ay inayos ko ang pagkakatabon ng comforter sa kaniya. Paalis na sana ako nang bigla siyang suminghot. Sandali pa akong nagulat at natulala sa kaniyang mukha hanggang sa may luhang tumulo mula sa kaniyang mga mata.

Napakagat ako ng labi at napatabon ng mukha. Hindi ko alam kung ba't siya umiiyak sa kaniyang tulog pero kahit anong dahilan pa iyon ay hindi ko pa rin mapigilan ang sarili na hindi masaktan para sa kaniya. Parang kinikirot ang puso ko na makita siyang naluluha.

Kinuha ko ang panyo at saka pinahiran ang mukha ni Martell. Nang masiguro na tuluyan na siyang kumalma ay saka ako umalis.

Huli ko nang napagtanto na ako mismo ay naiiyak na rin. Hindi ko alam kung normal pa ba ito.

Napailing na lang ako sa sarili at bumalik na ng hotel. Sina Gretchen, Inigo at Ari ang nadatnan ko sa labas ng hotel room ko nang makarating ako.

"Mimi G!" Anang pamangkin at tumakbo papunta sa akin nang makita ako. Kahit nabibigatan na sa kaniya, kinarga ko pa rin siya at hinalik-halikan. "Did you cry, Mimi?"

Nginitian ko ang pamangkin at napatingin kina Gretchen at Inigo bago binalik ang tingin kay Ari at saka umiling. Kahit sa murang eded ay matalino at madaming alam ang pamangkin. Kung nandito sana si Gemini ay natitiyak kong masasayahan talaga siya dahil sa bibong anak, sobrang malayo sa mahinhin at malumay niyang personalidad.

"She wanted you and Gretchen to be the first one she sees," Inigo said with a smile though he looks exhausted, clearly because they just got here after a long flight.

Ari and Inigo are now living a private life in Singapore, away from the prying eyes of the media with the help from our father, of course. I'm pretty sure he's behind the reason why until now, no one except us knows about Inigo's and Gemini's child. Kami-kami lang talaga ang nakakaalam tungkol kay Ari.

"Did our father bully you again?" Natatawang tanong ni Gretchen habang hinahalukay ang bag ko para makuha ang keycard.

"I'd be surprised and worried if he didn't," sagot naman ni Inigo sabay iling na ikinahalakhak naman namin ni Gretchen. Nakisali rin si Ari kahit sigurado akong hindi niya naman alam ang pinag-uusapan namin.

Dad, as expected, still dislikes Inigo. He's cold and domineering towards Inigo but he can't do anything about him since Inigo is his granddaughter's father.

I invited the three of them inside and went to the bathroom while still carrying Ari. She's really clingy but I don't mind. I let her sit on the sink while I showered.

Pagkatapos kong maligo ay saka kami lumabas. Nagkuwentuhan kaming tatlo hanggang sa nakatulog si Ari. Hindi na rin naman sila nagtagal dahil gusto lang naman talaga nila ako bisitahin.

Nang makaalis sila ay saka ako natulog. Pagkabukas, maaga pa akong tumungo sa gym ni Gabriello. Ngayong tapos na ang project namin nina Milena ay hindi ko na alam ang gagawin. Tinatamad pa akong bumalik sa trabaho at parang gusto ko pang magbakasyon.

"Hey, Gazella!" Inigo called and waved at me. He jogged towards me and we both went inside.

"Where's Ari?" I asked in a whisper while placing my duffel bag on the bench.

"She's with my parents. They went on a road trip," he answered. Hindi na rin naman kami nag-usap-usap pa ni Inigo dahil nagpaalam na siya dahil sa labas daw siya mag-jo-jogging.

Umupo ako sa bench at inayos ang pagkakatali ng sapatos. Sandali pa akong napaigtad nang may isang pares ng sapatos na lumitaw sa harapan ko. Tinaas ko ang tingin at nakita ang may-ari niyon na malamig ang tingin sa akin.

"So you and Inigo, huh?" Martell said in an intrigued tone with his arms crossed, then raising a brow at me. "You have your manager and now, Inigo," he added while shaking his head. It was as if he's disappointed with me.

Napalunok ako at hindi makatingin sa kaniya. Pinili ko na lang na ipagpatuloy ang pagtatali ng shoelace para makaalis na ako.

"How many men do you have? Have you always been like this?" He asked again, now sounding bitter and resentful. I looked up to him, his expression is calm yet his voice and his eyes were cold.

I stood up and braved to look at him in the eyes. "What if I say yes?"

He smirked, then putting both hands on his waist and looked at me with calculating eyes. "Then I guess I don't really know you."

Napaawang ang labi ko sa narinig, parang pinipiga na naman ang puso ko ngayon. Tinalikuran niya ako ngunit hindi pa siya nakaisang hakbang ay humarap siya ulit sa akin.

"I mean... if I did, I would've expected your departure, don't you think?" He said with a shrug, then turning his back on me and walked away.

Ako naman, nanghihinang napaupo. Sandali pa akong natulala hanggang sa may pumitik ng noo ko. Sinamaan ko ng tingin si Inigo na nagngiting aso lang.

"I know it's not my place to say this but don't you think he deserves the truth?" He said, then sitting beside me.

I gave him a small smile and looked down. The damage has been done already. Ano pa ang magagawa ng paliwanag ko kung wala naman iyong may maibabago? Wala na akong pwedeng magawa tungkol sa nangyari. Galit na si Martell sa akin at hindi na kami magkakamabutihan pa.

"I can see you're still hurting," he pointed out with a sigh. "You've been carrying that guilt and pain for so long, Gazella. Don't you think it's time for you to free yourself?"

Napakagat labi ako at patuloy na yumuko, pinipigilan lang ang sarili na umiyak.

"I'm scared," I answered in almost a whisper.

"It's okay, that's normal. But you can't be scared forever." Hindi ako sumagot at patuloy lang sa pagyuko at patagong pinahiran ang mga luha. "What do you think will lessen that fear? What will make you less scared of telling him?"

Sandali akong napaisip dahil sa kaniyang mga tanong. "Hindi ko alam. Ang alam ko lang ay natatakot ako sa magiging reaksiyon niya. Hindi ko rin alam kung paano ako magsisimula. Baka mautal lang ako at umiyak nang umiyak..."

"Well, just like most things, maybe you can practice it," he suggested. I turned to him with a confused looked but he only smiled and shrugged. "Is there anyone whom you think is mad at you for leaving aside from Martell? Someone whom you are close with but still doesn't know about this as well?"

Mahina akong tumango at saka nginitian si Inigo. Unti-unti ko nang naiintindihan kung ano ang suhestiyon niya.

"Thanks, Inigo," I said gratefully and gave him a quick hug. I took my duffel bag and rushed to Margarita's cafe.

Hindi ko alam kung nandoon siya ngayon pero 'di bale na. Hindi ko na pwedeng ipagpaliban 'to dahil kung pag-iisipan ko pa 'to nang todo ay baka magbago pa ang isipan ko. Gagawin ko 'to ngayong may lakas pa ako.

"Gazella?" Though confused as to why I'm here, Margarita welcomed me with a smile.

Maliban kay Martell ay siya lang ang naisip ko na masama rin ang loob sa akin dahil sa pag-alis ko noon. Natatandaan ko pa kung gaano katalim ang tingin niya sa akin noong nagkita kami sa hospital at kung paano niya ako nilampasan nang sinubukan ko siyang batiin.

If I'd be able to explain to Margarita, maybe it'll give me a push and the strength to explain to Martell as well.

"Why—"

"—I want to tell you why I left years ago," nagmamadali kong sabi dahil kung magpapabagal-bagal ako ay baka magbago pa ang isipan ko. "You might not understand but please hear me out. I don't want to do this but I have to."

Sandali pa siyang natulala bago mahinang tumango. Iginiya niya ako papunta sa isang pintuan at pumasok kami roon na sa tingin ko ay kaniyang opisina.

Magkatabi kaming umupo sa sofa. Huminga ako ng malalim, tinitipon ang lahat ng lakas ng loob at saka nagsimula.

I thought I wouldn't be able to explain well and just end up crying but I was able to finish my story without a single tear.

Parang nanlamig ako buong oras na nagkukuwento ako kay Marga. May mga pagkakataon na parang pinipiga ang puso ko ngunit hindi na ako naluluha dahil sa sakit. Hindi ko alam kung dapat na ba akong matuwa dahil dito o ano.

"I... uh... you... ahm... w-why?" Nauutal at naluluhang sabi ni Marga. "We could've been there for you, Gazella!"

Napayuko ako nang makitang unti-unti nang tumutulo ang kaniyang mga luha. Ayaw ko siyang makitang umiiyak dahil sigurado akong maiiyak din ako.

"You were pregnant with my brother's child—"

"My son got you pregnant?" Another voice cut Margarita off.

Margarita scrambled to her feet and I did the same. My heart thumped loudly in my chest when I saw their mother standing in the doorway with an offended look. I turned to Margarita in panic but she was still in freeze-mode and was just looking at her mother while her tears were still cascading down her cheeks.

"Mom—"

"Where's the child? And why doesn't Martell know about this? Since when have you been keeping—"

"Mom!" Sigaw ni Margarita ngunit hindi siya tinuunan ng pansin ng ina.

Lumapit ang ina nila sa akin at nanlilisik ang mga mata at kulang na lang ay sigawan ako sa inis at galit.

"Why didn't we know about—"

"Mom! I said stop!" Margarita shouted again and went to her mother's side and was about to hold her but her mother turned to her in a sudden which made her take a step back.

Ako mismo ay biglang natakot dahil sa ginawa ng ina nila kahit hindi naman ako si Margarita. Napakagat-labi si Margarita at lalong umiyak at nanghihina akong tiningnan na parang nanghihingi ng tulong.

"I'm asking you, where is my son's child and why didn't you tell—"

"You asked me to leave," I answered weakly. I could feel the tears cascading down my face but I didn't have the strength to wipe it. I probably look desperate and vulnerable right now while tearing up in front of her but I can literally feel my strength leaving my system.

Napaupo ako dahil sa kahinaan. Hindi ito ang inaasahan kong mangyayari. Parang bigla akong nanghinayang na pumunta ako rito. Akala ko kanina ay okay na dahil hindi naman nag-isteriko si Marga.

"You asked her to leave?!" Margarita screamed with a disbelief look.

"That's not the point! You should've told us! We have the right to know—"

"What else did you tell her?!" Margarita cut her off. "I'm gonna call Kuya—"

"No!" Sabay naming sigaw ng kanilang ina.

"Where's the child?" Their mother asked again, stressing each word, her chest heaving as if restraining herself. "What happened to the child? What did you do?"

Umiling ako at saka yumuko. Wala na talaga akong lakas para magpaliwanag. Natatakot na ako magsalita.

"Did you..." their mother spoke again, then trailing off with a disappointed sigh.

"I had no choice," namamaos kong sagot. Iyon lang ang kaya kong sabihin ngunit mas nadagdagan pa yata ang galit ng kanilang ina.

Tumayo ako at saka siya hinarap. Matalim ang kaniyang titig pero hindi ko na iyon ininda. Tapos na ako sa pinunta ko rito kaya pwede na akong umalis.

"You killed your child," may diin niyang sabi at patuloy akong sinamaan ng tingin. "Your soul will rot in hell—"

"Mom!"

I scoffed, suddenly feeling all cold and emotionless. "What happened still haunts me even though that was the most reasonable option. Sometimes, I feel like it would've been better if I allowed it to grow inside me. It'd eventually die but then I'd be with my child. I wouldn't have to live this life with guilt."

I straightened up and neared her. "I wouldn't be living with guilt because I wouldn't be even alive."

I equalled the intensity of her glare while my insides numbed. "My life is already a living hell, Maam."

I turned to Margarita and gave her a nod, then walking towards the door and left. The cafe's customers were giving me a weird look but I was in a hurry to even bother.

I hailed a cab and had the driver drop me off the nearest airport. I had everything I need with me and I'll just buy some clothes wherever I'll end up.

"Yes, this is me, running away again," sabi ko sa kabilang linya at napasinghal na lang si Babes. I instructed him everything he has to do and good thing he didn't nag at me nor gave ma a long speech.

After explaining to Marga, I felt lighthearted, it was as if a burden was lifted so I thought that maybe telling Martell, even though it won't actually change a thing, would help. Maybe the hurting would stop if I tell him. But then, how could I tell him now that I just witnessed his mother getting all angry and hysterical?

I cannot dictate him on as to how he should react but I'm not sure if I can do it after witnessing his mother's reaction. That is the kind of reaction I'm hoping him not to have.

I made up my mind that I'd tell him but now, I feel like a coward again. I don't know when I'll learn. I don't know when I'd be able to actually do something that won't cause me harm in the long run because I know that running away won't actually help.

I've been hiding and running for years now and before, I still had a reason. Everything was still fresh and it was understandable for me to want to distance myself. But now, I don't think there's any more reason for me to keep on running. I feel like my time is up for escaping but I don't know... I still can't brave myself to do it. I still prefer to run away.

"Oh, Capt.!" Lara greeted with a smile. "Going to Maldives again? Just admit it, that place is magical and so romantic!"

I wanted to scoff but stopped myself. I'm already this bitter and heartbroken and coward person. I don't want to add some more negative adjectives to my name.

I didn't have the strength to answer so I smiled instead. I didn't actually know that I'm on a flight to Maldives until she mentioned it.

I wanted to sleep and give my mind and myself some rest but I couldn't. I'm still too distraught and boggled to even think of something else aside from what happened. It didn't help that I'm also starting to overthink what Martell's reaction might be once I tell him. The more I think about such, the more I feel less inclined to tell him.

I took a deep breath, then putting on my earphones and played some ambient music. I tried to divert all my focus to the music until such time I fell asleep.

Though wala akong na-book na hotel, hindi naman ako nahirapan dahil nakapunta na ako rito noon. I went to the same resort where Sasha and Olivia made me stay.

Instead of renting an overwater bungalow, I booked a normal suite in their hotel. It's better that way since there's a lesser chance to be "neighbors" with the person I'm avoiding.

I bought clothes at the pasalubong shops and went to one of the seaside restaurant to eat. When nighttime came, I already guessed that I wouldn't be able to sleep so I went to a bar.

I sat on one of the chairs in front of the bar counter and ordered a drink. While I was waiting, a guy sat beside me and introduced himself. It seems to me that he wants to have a conversation but then, I'm still occupied with my thoughts and I don't really want to talk right now.

"So, you really don't want me to buy you a drink?" The guy asked again but I politely declined. He eventually got bored of my insouciance and decided to leave. But not long after he left, another guy sat beside me.

I smelled a familiar scent but before I could even think, the bartender handed me my drink. I finished it one gulp and ordered another. Nang mainip sa ka-o-order ay beer na lang ang binili ko.

I was about to start with my second bottle of beer when someone held it, the familiar scent I smelled a while ago filled my nose again.

The hand took my drink and I looked at its owner who's now chugging my drink. He let out a sigh after finishing my drink.

"What are you doing here?" I asked Martell though I'm not exactly sure if he's actually here beside me or I'm just hallucinating.

He glanced at me before placing both elbows on the bar counter while looking at the displayed drinks. "I have a business here... I'm not here to follow you or anything."

I shrug then, copying his posture and busied myself with my nails, suddenly finding it interesting.

"So, another guy, huh?" Martell spoke in what seems to be a bitter tone. "Do you have one in each country you visit?"

I could feel his eyes on me but I remained silent and nonchalant though his words are now making my stomach turn.

What if he's here because he already knows? What if his mother and Margarita already told him? What if his reaction would be worse because he didn't hear it from me?

"Piece of advice, give them a heads up when you're about to leave," he added in almost a whisper yet the sarcasm was audible.

His words hit hard and it didn't help that my mind is now filled with all these "what-ifs" that are making me both anxious and miserable. So instead of staying, I decided to leave the bar. I have to regain my energy first so that I'd have the strength to endure his remarks.

Martell followed me outside. I don't know if he's trying to terrorize me or what. But whatever it is that he's planning, it's effective.

I continued to walk on the shore with him on the back, still not done with his words. I wanted to blame the alcohol for making me cry ugly but then, even when I don't drink, his effect on me is still the same; the effect of guilt and exhaustion is still the same.

"Why do you keep on running away? I'm right, aren't I?" He said, I could almost hear the sneer in his voice. "No one's gonna accept you because you're just gonna play with them and leave too—"

I stopped on my tracks and faced him, not caring that I look like a mess right now. "Yes! You're right! No one's gonna accept me because I'm a damaged good. I'm carrying an emotional baggage that's apparently too hard for me to let go."

My chest heaved as I tried to catch my breath. The tears blurred my vision, the crying is making it hard for me to breathe, and the alcohol is making it hard for me to think.

He didn't look surprise by my sudden outburst. He only stood a few distance away from me as if ready to listen to whatever I'm about to say.

The tears continued to cascade down my cheeks and though it's hard to speak without whimpering, I gathered my strength to continue.

"So, yes, Martell, if it makes you feel better, I acknowledge the fact that no one will accept me and I'm as horrible as that person you're labeling me. I know that, Martell... hanggang tingin at pantasiya lang ako," dagdag ko at napasinghot pa. Pinahiran ko ang mga luha at saka siya nginitian kahit sobrang sakit na ng nararamdaman ko. "I really hope that makes you feel better."