"Huy! Kalerki ka talaga! Sigurado kang okay ka lang? Pwede ko namang tawagan ang kapatid mo na hindi ka makakapunta sa—"

I shook my head and raised a hand to silence Babes. Hinilot ko ang sentido at pasalampak na nahiga sa sofa.

Hindi ako nakatulog nang maayos kagabi dahil sa kaiiyak tapos maaga pa akong umalis kanina at pumunta sa hospital dahil gumising na raw si Sugar. Ngayon naman ay kailangan kong maghanda dahil biglang nag-aya si Gretchen na mag-sailing dahil kaarawan niya ngayon.

I'm too tired to even pick a nice outfit that I just chose the first one I saw. It was a dark blue and white crocheted dress with a deep-v neckline. It's backless as well and has a halter straps which has to be tied at the back. I then paired it with my slip-on stiletto heels which was the first one I saw as well and good thing it matches well with my dress.

Nagpahatid ako kay Babes dahil ang sasakyan ni Caramel ay ibinalik ko na kanina. I received an earful of nagging from her and it was Sugar who just woke up from coma that made her stop.

I actually want to be with Sugar but she insisted that I should go to my sister's celebration. I also think that she knows that I don't have really good memories in the hospital she's in and it amazes me how she can consider me and my welfare even though she should be solely concerned for herself.

Nang makarating kami sa port ay namangha pa si Babes sa mga barkong nakadaong. The shore and the beach itself looked the same as they were years ago although the yachts and all the boats here looked like they were upgraded into something much more lavish and expensive.

The memories of me, Sasha and Olivia pedal-boating here and getting stuck in the middle of the sea and got rescued by Martell and his cousins came rushing to my mind. My chest warmed with an unexplainable and nostalgic sensation and I had to shrug the thoughts away to avoid feeling the "heaviness" it brought.

Si Gabriello ang sumundo sa akin at saka lang umalis si Babes. Nag-uusap kami habang naglalakad at huli ko nang napagtanto na kung nandito si Gabriello ay malaki rin ang posibilidad na nandito rin si Martell!

Wearing a dark blue button-down shirt with the first two buttons opened and sleeves messily rolled just below his elbow, a white chinos shirt, a pair of dark brown boat shoes, and aviator sunglasses, Martell looked like a don overlooking his share of land.

Siya unang nakahuli ng tingin ko nang makarating kami sa top-deck at may kung anong dramatic effect na may nilipad-lipad pa ng hangin ang kaniyang buhok nang tumingin siya sa gawi namin. But unlike those in the movies where the guy greets the girl with a sweet smile and warm welcome, the opposite happened to us.

His eyes only settled at us for a few seconds before he brought his attention back to the calm waters. He neither smiled nor scowled but then again, after what happened yesterday and after everything I did, this one's expected already.

"Sisteretskie!" Pasigaw na tawag ni Gretchen at saka humiga sa tabi ko. Niyakap niya ako mula sa likuran at parang bata na nagpapalambing. "Ba't ka nagkukulong dito? Is it because of Martell? You understand that I can't not invite Martell, right?"

Tumagilid ako ng higa at hinarap ang kapatid. "No, sorry, it's not that... may iniisip lang," paliwanag ko sabay singhal.

Gusto kong kuwentuhan ang kapatid ngunit birthday niya ngayon. Gusto ko rin makipag-celebrate kasama siya ngunit parang nawalan ako ng gana kaya nagkulong ako dito sa isa sa mga kwarto. Akala ko nga ay hindi niya napansin ang pag-alis ko ngunit heto siya ngayon at inaalo pa ako.

"Care to share? Chikkahan mo ako," anang kapatid at biglang naging masigasig at parang ready na makinig. "Ito na lang birthday gift mo sa akin."

"Seryoso ka? Chismis ang gusto mong hingin sa akin?" Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay, biglang nakalimutan ang mga iniisip dahil sa kaweirduhan ng kapatid.

My sister nodded enthusiastically with a wide smile. "Either bigyan mo ako ng chikka o bigyan mo ako ng pamangkin. Pumili ka."

Napailing na lang ako sa kabaliwan ng kapatid at saka siya kinuwentuhan. Gumaan ang loob ko pagkatapos naming mag-usap, ngayon lang napagtanto na kumikimkim na naman ako.

"Just try to enjoy, can you? Hindi magandang palagi ka na lang stressed at umiiyak," anang kapatid at marahang sinuklay-suklay ang buhok ko.

Tumango naman ako at saka siya nginitian. Tinulungan niya akong bumangon at sabay kaming lumabas habang inaayos ko naman ang damit at buhok.

Kainan at kuwentuhan ang ginawa namin buong araw. Sinubukan ko naman mag-enjoy ngunit tamang ilag nga lang ang ginagawa ko sa kay Martell at sa kaniyang tingin.

Nang gumabi ay nag-barbeque kami habang naglalaro ng "Never Have I Ever". Isa-isa kaming magbibigay ng "never have I ever" na statement tapos iyong mga nakakagawa ng mga sinabi namin ay iinom ng isang shot.

Kinunchaba ko pa ang kapatid na iyong inumin ko ay iced-tea lang at huwag ang kung anong makakapagpalasing sa akin. Buti na lang talaga na naintindihan ng kapatid ang dahilan ko.

I know I look like a kill-joy but I'd rather be safe than be sorry afterwards. 'Cuz if my memory serves me right, the last time I got drunk on a yacht, I ended up pregnant. And well... the rest is history.

"Never have I ever been dumped," Gretchen said, her eyes glinting with mischief as if excited to know which one of us got dumped.

Martell was the first to drink his shot which made everyone erupt in cheers. Our eyes met for a second but I looked away in an instant.

Patuloy kaming naglaro habang kumakain hanggang sa unti-unti na silang nalalasing. Mga hatinggabi na sila nagsipuntahan sa kani-kanilang kwarto. Ganoon din ang ginawa ko ngunit dahil hindi pa ako inaantok ay napag-isipan kong bumalik sa deck at doon tumambay.

Martell was there as well when I arrived at the top-deck. With a cigarette on one hand and a glass of liquor on the other, his cold eyes bore into me. I wanted to retreat but there's no point since he already saw me. I also don't want him to think that I'm avoiding him.

Tumayo ako sa harap ng railings at dinama ang sariwang hangin. Nakakagaan ng pakiramdam tuwing tumatama ang hampas ng hangin sa aking mukha. Mas gagaan din ang pakiramdam ko kung titigil na si Martell sa kaiinom.

Napasulyap ako sa kaniya nang maamoy ang usok ng sigarilyo. He was intently looking at me before puffing the smoke, then resting his head on the headrest of the chair.

I pinched my nose, trying not to inhale any smoke. Ayaw ko sa mga naninigarilyo dahil hindi ako makahinga ng maayos. Umusog ako papalayo sa kaniya. Hindi nagtagal ay nawala rin naman ang ganoong amoy kaya napatingin ulit ako sa kaniyang gawi.

Tumigil nga siya sa paninigarilyo pero patuloy naman ang kaniyang pag-inom. Nasa malayo ang kaniyang tingin at mukhang may iniisip.

Hindi ko alam kung anong naisip ko pero umupo ako sa katapat na silya ng inuupuan niya. He ignored me for a few moments before turning to me. He raised an eyebrow as if waiting for me to explain why I sat with him.

"I think that's enough," I blurted out without forethought.

"You have no right to dictate me," he said with a glare but also placed the bottle down. "Thanks to you, alcohol became my best friend and my sleeping pill..." he trailed off while shaking his head.

Sinubukan niyang tumayo ngunit agad naman siyang napahawak sa mesa para hindi matumba. I rushed to his side and helped him stand. He protested at first but he eventually placed an arm around my shoulder and let me guide him to his room.

Medyo nahirapan pa ako dahil sa kaniyang bigat. Maingat ko siyang pinahiga ngunit kasabay ng pagdapo ng kaniyang likod sa kama ay ang pagbagsak ko rin sa ibabaw niya. Hindi pa nakatulong na ang isang kamay niya ay nakapatong na rin sa aking likuran kaya hindi ako mabilis na nakabangon.

"Can you not leave me? Even just for now..." Namamaos niyang sabi. "Or is it too much to ask? Hmm?"

I shook my head, then reminding myself that he's drunk and that he just forgot that he's mad at me.

Tinukod ko ang magkabilang siko sa magkabilang gilid niya at saka umalis sa pagkakubabaw sa kaniya. Nilagay ko ang isang kamay sa kaniyang likod at ang isa naman ay sa likod ng kaniyang ulo para maiangat ko siya at maayos ko ang pagkakahiga niya ngunit imbes na magawa iyon ay napasubsob ako sa kaniyang dibdib dahil ipinalibot niya ang mga braso sa aking baywang.

Inangat ko ang ulo at nagtama ang aming mga mata. Sa isang iglap ay nagpalit kami ng posisyon at siya na ngayon ang nasa ibabaw ko.

Seryoso ang kaniyang mga mata at nararamdaman ko ang kaniyang paghinga sa aking mukha. Hindi ko napigilang mapatabon ng ilong nang maamoy ang sigarilyo sa kaniyang paghinga.

"Why are you covering your face? It's not like I'm gonna kiss you without permission," he said with a bit of sarcasm. "I don't want to be the reason why you and that manager of yours will break up."

"It's the lingering smell of cigarette," I explained, then biting my lips and hoping that he didn't take my words as insult.

He smirked and shook his head, then getting up and went straight to the bathroom. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang gagawin ko pero pinili kong hintayin siyang makalabas.

He went out from the bathroom with a smirk and with only a pair of sweatpants on. A small towel was on his shoulder which he then took and used it to dry his hair as he walked back to the bed.

My eyes seemed stuck at him that I couldn't avert my gaze. It was only when I was face to face with his abdomen that I snapped back to reality.

I stood up, then realizing it was a wrong move because we're now inches apart from each other. Isang maling galaw ay natitiyak kong mapapasubsob ako sa kaniya.

Aalis na sana ako lalo na't kahit naka-air-con naman, naramdaman ko pa rin ang katawan na nag-iinit. Ngunit bago pa ako makaisang hakbang ay ipinalibot niya ang kaniyang braso sa aking baywang at tuluyang sinara ang maliit na distansya sa pagitan namin.

His rugged features and steely gaze intimidated me. He looks like a predator ready to pounce on his prey... on his willing prey, to be exact. I suddenly felt small because of his towering stance.

There was no longer the smell of cigarette on his breath and it was replaced with mint with just a hint of alcohol. He smells like aftershave and expensive perfume, like dark florals and wood perhaps.

He lowered his head and leveled it with my neck. He grazed his nose on my skin, clearly teasing me. It was nothing compared to what we did before but it made me weak. If it wasn't for his arms encircled on my waist, I'd probably be now on the floor because of my wobbly knees.

I let out a gasp when I felt his tongue on my neck and next thing I know, he's already nibbling on my skin. I got worried that me might leave some marks on my skin but my mind can only focus on what he's doing to me. I couldn't think straight anymore and giving in feels like the best option here.

Heat seemed to flow all throughout my body, a soft moan then escaping my mouth. I felt him pause on what he was doing on my neck and as weird as it seems, it felt like he was smiling against my skin.

I tilted my head to give him more access but instead of continuing with what he was doing, he scooped me from the floor instead, then putting me down on the bed with our eyes still locked at each other.

This feels like deja vu — from the yacht party setting, to the kisses, to the soft mattress. Dozens of indecent images conjured in my mind as he settled on top of me with only his elbows supporting him.

I looked up to him, wanting to reach out for a kiss but then I remembered that I still owe him something. Though we're only looking at each other in silence, it was enough to make my heart pound and make all my insides go crazy.

He smiled at me, then resting his head on the space between my head and shoulders. It was a really comfortable position that I immediately dozed off to sleep.

"By the way, your bag is with me, the one you left at the meeting last time... the time when you also slapped me at the store."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko nang biglang nagsalita ang akala kong tulog na si Martell. Mga ala una na siguro ng umaga at bigla na lang akong nagising at imbes na bumalik sa tulog ay napag-isipan kong pagmasdan si Martell.

Napakakalma ng kaniyang mukha at napakaamo. Hindi ganito ang mukha niya tuwing gising dahil iyong parang galit lang ang nakikita ko o 'di kaya'y seryoso.

Nakapikit pa rin ang kaniyang mga mata ngunit alam ko nang gising na rin siya. Hindi ko alam kung anong isasagot kaya nanahimik na lang ako.

Awkwardness started to creep in when I realized our situation. I felt my cheeks burn when memories of what happened just before we slept came rushing to my mind. We didn't really do anything. Heck! We didn't even kiss but those were enough to make me blush.

"Why didn't you accept it?" He spoke again, but this time, he opened his eyes.

Napakagat-labi ako nang nagtama ang aming mga mata. Hindi ko alam kung anong tinutukoy niya kaya pinili ko na lang na manahimik.

"The other photoshoot," he added as if explaining. "The one with Maurea and Valtrisse."

I sighed, then shaking my head while a small smile formed in my lips. I can't believe that we're actually in the same bed and talking!

"You should thank me, Martell..." sabi ko. Masokista yata ako at kahit parang pinipiga ang puso ko sa isipang g-in-ive-up ko ang proyektong iyon para si Maliaxinne ang mapiling model.

"For what? I'm not aware that I should be grateful for the person who left," he said in a calm voice yet it was laced with a hint of bitterness. "But if that's the case, then, thank you so much—"

"—because if I accepted it, then you won't be able to work with Maliaxinne!" I cut him off. Just for now, I want to pretend that we're in good terms because when the sun rises, we'll be back to our usual role-play on how we don't know each other. "Don't you want to work with your girlfriend?"

"I don't want to work with her," aniya sa matigas na boses. "You didn't do me a favor, Axy— Gazella—" he paused and shook his head with a sigh. "There's no point anymore, I withdrew as well."

He gave me one sharp look before turning his back on me and covered himself with the comforter while I was left confused.

Should I leave now and go back to my room? But then, he didn't tell me to leave... but then, he also just turned his back on me and we're also not in good terms. What am I even doing here? Why did I even stay here?

"Damn, ang rupok ko," pabulong kong pagkausap sa sarili.

Napailing na lang ako sa kahibangan at saka bumangon. Inalis ko ang pagkakatabon ng comforter sa mukha ni Martell dahil baka hindi siya makahinga ng maayos. Pinapawisan din siya kaya pinahiran ko ang kaniyang mukha.

Sandali akong napasinghal, nagdadalawang-isip kung gagawin ko ba ang gustong gawin o umalis na lang.

"I know this is selfish but I just really want to hug you," I whispered, then hugging Martell from the back. I rested my head on the space between his head and shoulders and it was a really comfortable position.

The only thing that's bothering me is the guilt that I'm hugging him without permission and that I'm satisfying my own need even though I hurt him.

"I'll punish myself for this, don't worry," I whispered again, then tightening my embrace.

There's something with the way my chest and abdomen touches his back that I find comforting. I feel so well-rested even though I barely slept. My chest feels heavy but it's the good king of heavy. It feels like I'm in the most comfortable place.

I may be the only one who's hugging him but this feels like home. It feels like I regained a piece of me that I lost... it feels like a burden has been lifted and somehow... just a little bit... the pain lessened and I can breathe...

"I just miss you, Martell... that's all," bulong ko sa namamaos na boses, pinipigilan lang ang sarili na humikbi dahil baka magising ko siya. "You can hate me afterwards, Martell, I don't mind..."

"I know I deserve the treatment you're giving me but sometimes, your sharp glares feels like being stabbed in the chest... your cold voice reminds me of what I did and it feels like I'm drowning, Martell... why is it so hard to move on from you, huh? I mean... it's not only the guilt that's making it hard but... well... I have—" I paused, contemplating whether I'll say it or not.

"—I have, uh, well... I still have a thing for you..." I continued when I realized that this may be the only time I can tell this to him. I don't want to say it just yet. If I'm gonna tell him that, I want him to hear it. I don't want to say it while he's asleep and while I'm being selfish here.

"Good night, Martell," I whispered with a sigh, wanting to kiss him on the cheeks but I stopped and chose to just tighten my embrace instead.

Gusto kong matulog na katabi siya kahit sandali man lang. Aalis lang ako rito maya-maya bago sumikat ang araw. Ayaw ko ring may makakita na rito ako nanggaling sa kaniyang kwarto dahil baka kung ano pa ang isipin ng makakita.

"Rise and shine, sisteretskie!" Magiliw na bati ni Gretchen at saka binuksan ang blinds kaya napatabon naman ako ng mata.

Tumagilid ako ng higa at tinabunan ng unan ang mukha at babalik sana sa tulog nang bigla kong natandaan ang mga nangyari.

Nagpa-panic akong bumangon at agad na nilibot ang tingin. Natandaan kong nakatulog ako sa tabi ni Martell kaninang umaga at hindi ako sigurado kung nakagising ba ako para lumipat ng kwarto.

Nakahinga ako nang maluwag nang mapagtantong wala ako sa kwarto ni Martell. Either si Martell ang lumipat sa akin dito o ako ang kusang lumipat ng kwarto ngunit hindi ko lang matandaan.

Pagkatapos maligo ay pumunta ako sa top-deck at saka kami nag-agahan. Pasimpleng hinanap ng mga mata ko si Martell ngunit hindi ko siya namataan.

"He left this morning," Gretchen whispered with a wink before going back to her food.

Patuloy kaming kumain habang tahimik lang akong nakikinig sa kanilang usapan dahil wala pa akong enerhiya para makipag-kuwentuhan.

"By the way, the photos from the shoot are ready, Gazella," Milena said when we were walking at the shore. Kadadaong lang ng yate kaya magsisi-uwian na kami ngayon. "You can come to the studio if you'd like to see it."

Ang plano ko sana ay pumunta sa hotel para makapagpahinga at pagkatapos ay bisitahin si Sugar pero dahil sa sinabi ni Milena ay nagbago ang plano ko at napagdesisyunan kong sumabay na lang sa kaniya patungong studio.

I thought that there won't be anyone in the studio but I was mistaken. Martell was there together with some of the staffs. Hindi ko alam kung ano ang ginagawa nila rito pero pinili kong huwag na silang bigyan ng pansin.

Masaya ako sa kinalabasan ng photoshoot. Though there were some "problems", I can still say that this project is a big success. Proud na proud din si Milena at hindi kailanman nawala ang ngiti sa kaniyang mga labi.

"Gazella, look!" Ani Milena at saka may tinaas na dress. Lumapit ako sa kaniya at sinuri ang damit. "This is for you! Come on, try it!"

I was a white-colored mini dress with long bell-sleeves and plunging neckline. It's made with aida cloth and has floral cross-stitch embroidery.

I went to the dressing room to try it on since Milena is really enthusiastic about this. But the moment I saw my reflection, I immediately wore my clothes back on and hurriedly went out.

"I'll try it when I arrive at my hotel so I can take a proper pic and I can then promote you," pagpapalusot ko at mahinang nagdadasal na sana ay huwag na siyang mag-suggest ng kung ano-ano.

Lumawak ang ngiti ni Milena at parang nahihiya pa dahil sa narinig. Akala ko ay papayag naman siya ngunit hindi yata narinig ang hiling ko.

"Well, why don't we have a mini pictorial here?" She suggested, her eyes traveling from me, then to my dress, and then to Martell. "I'm sure Martell won't mind taking your picture."

"I... uh..." napakagat ako ng labi, hindi na alam kung ano pa ang pwede kong gawing palusot.

I mean... I can't just show off my hickey, right?!

"Uh, Milena, I also have to visit my friend at the hospital so..." sabi ko ulit at naghanda na para makaalis. Sandali pa siyang napasimangot pero hindi naman nagpumilit.

Nagpaalam ako sa mga kasamahan at dumiretso na sa elevator. Doon lang ako nakahinga nang maluwag ngunit nabahala ulit ako nang biglang pumasok si Martell sa elevator bago ito sumara.

"Why are you avoiding me?" He asked in a low voice.

Napatingin ako sa kaniya at nakitang nakatingin din siya sa akin. Hindi na ganoon kalamig ang kaniyang pagtitig pero kahit ganoon ay seryoso pa rin siya. I also checked his ear just to make sure that he's actually talking to me and not in a call with someone.

"Me? Uh..." sandali akong napakagat ng labi. "You don't like me... You hate me, remember?"

"You said you still had a thing for me."

Nanlaki ang mga mata ko sa narinig. Ibig sabihin ay hindi pa siya tulog kagabi nang niyakap ko siya at noong bumulong ako ng kung ano-ano!

"I know that my presence irritates you and reminds you of what I did," I answered, pretending to be oblivious to the fact that he was actually awake last night and heard my mini drama session!

"Tss!" His steely gaze bore into me as he shook his head, then walking out of the elevator.