His voice, just like his eyes, changed too. It was an unfamiliar deep voice laced with resentment and anger. Sandali pang tumaas ang kaniyang kilay at animo'y diring-diri sa akin bago ako nilagpasan.

Hindi ko alam bakit pero parang naiiyak ako. Alam kong galit siya sa akin at alam kong ako ang may kasalanan dahil nasaktan ko siya noong umalis akong walang sabi pero hindi ko inasahan na magiging ganito ang pakikitungo niya sa akin. Hindi ko kailanman iyon naisip.

It's not that I'm expecting him to greet me with open arms but I guess... I haven't thought about this and I'm taken by surprise so now, I don't know how to act.

"Hello? Ikaw ang umalis, remember? Alangan namang halikan at yakapin ka niya," ani London sa kabilang linya. "I'm on your side, Galaxy, and you know that. But yeah... I guess even though you didn't expect anything, you just didn't expect that things will turn out this way... and that's okay..."

Imbes na mag-exercise, parang tutang ligaw akong umupo sa isang bench at saka nanlulumo na tinawagan ang kaibigan.

She's right. I didn't expect any kind of treatment from Martell because I knew that the moment I decided to leave without a word, I already lost him.

But now that I'm here... I saw him again and with this treatment from him, I still can't help but feel surprised and sad. I guess there's a part of me that's been hoping for us to be able to get along even though I'm also aware that it's selfish for me and unfair on his part to expect him to treat me nicely after what I did.

I guess even though I had my reasons, I still deserve this. This is the consequence of my decision. Oo, nasasaktan ako at parang bumalik ako sa nakaraan kung saan parang pinipiga ang puso ko sa sakit pero ito ang panindigan ko. Hindi ko ito babawiin. Mali ako at papanindigan ko ang ginawa ko at haharapin ko ito pero kahit ganoon, may parte sa akin na... umaasa...

Ang tanga-tanga lang... umalis kahit alam na wala nang babalikan pero umaasa pa rin... ang tanga lang...

"Heartbroken na nga tapos stupid pa..." bulong ko sa sarili sabay iling ngunit agad natandaan na mag-isa lang ako at walang magpapatahan sa akin. "Pero okay lang 'yan, Galaxy... ang importante ay maganda ka at may pangkain ka..."

Mahina akong natawa dahil sa naisip... parang baliw na ewan... hindi ko alam kung epekto ba ito o ano pero nitong mga nakaraang taon, naging gawain ko na na kausapin ang sarili para matigil ang mga kung ano-anong iniisip ko.

I know that talking to myself can be considered as me being out of my mind but then, it's my way out of these self-depreciating thoughts. I find talking to myself crazy and amusing and as a result, it makes me forget and shrug those thoughts off.

Sandali akong nag-isip-isip kung aalis ba ako o hindi. Ayaw ko mang umalis pero... nandito si Martell! Galit iyon sa akin at kahit ganoon, baka bumalik ako sa pagiging malandi at marupok! Hindi puwede iyon! Ayaw ko ring maging stalker at sumunod-sunod sa kaniya!

At kahit pa hindi ko siya susundan at gagawin ko lang ang gusto ko, hindi kalakihan ang isla at malaki ang posibilidad na magkikita't magkikita kami!

Iyon ang pinag-isipan ko hanggang sa nakabalik ako ng bungalow. I took a bath and changed into a floral maxi dress and went back to the shore.

Aside from the overwater bungalows, this resort I'm at also has a hotel but I'm glad that Sasha and Olivia booked me the one I'm staying at. There were also several restaurants lining up on the shore and since I don't want to stress over choosing which restaurant I'm gonna eat at, I chose the nearest one instead.

It wasn't like the usual tables and chairs kind of restaurant but rather the one where the diners are sitting on the floor. Though we're on the beach front, the ambience of the place and the interiors made it look like a cavern. The furnitures were of wood and the lights are dimmed. The whole place gave off a bohemian vibe.

I found a table with just enough distance from the live band. They were singing romantic jazz songs and damn... I feel so lonely in this restaurant full of honeymooners!

Sa dinami-rami ng bansa na puwede kong mapadpadan, dito pa talaga sa lugar kung saan maraming couples! Dito pa talaga kung nasaan si Martell!

Kaya nga ako umalis ng States, kahit pa nag-aalala ako sa kondisyon ni Sugar, dahil nakita ko siya tapos malalaman kong nandito rin pala siya?

Tadhana naman oh... hindi pa nga ako tuluyang naka-move on, mukhang pahihirapan mo na naman ulit ako.

After I ordered, I took the time in wandering my eyes around, admiring the unique interiors until I met an icy glare, making me flinch.

I looked down, then busying myself with my fingers. Martell, who's in a nearby seat, is shooting daggers at me. Seryoso ang kaniyang mga mata at kulang na lang ay kainin niya ako ng buhay.

Pagkatapos nun ay hindi na ulit siya tumingin sa gawi ko habang ako naman ay paminsan-minsang sumusulyap sa kaniya.

Kahit nasa malayo at hindi ko man nakikita ng husto ang kaniyang hitsura, masasabi ko namang malaki ang ipinagbago niya. Hindi lang sa uri ng pagtingin at boses kundi pati ang kaniyang kilos at pananamit.

As for his features, they were already perfect as they were years before but now, they looked even better. His prominent jaw became more defined and his eyes became more serious and darker. The only thing I think that didn't change is his hairstyle... it's still fixed in its usual coiffed style.

Well, at least there's one thing that didn't change.

Before, there were still parts of him that looked "innocent" in some ways. But now, nothing in him looks innocent anymore. All his features— from his face to his iron-clad physique, matured in a good way. Every bits of him screams manliness and regality.

He's no longer this ethereal looking man. Now, he's just like the embodiment of sex appeal. Gone were the few bits that makes him look innocent.

Hindi nagtagal, dumating din naman ang order ko at binilisan ko ang pagkain. Ayaw kong magtagal dito dahil hindi ko kakayanin.

Naglakad-lakad ako sa dalampasigan pagkatapos kumain habang hinihintay na sagutin ni Babes ang tawag ko. Ilang beses na akong tumawag at nag-message sa kaniya pero hanggang ngayon ay wala siyang reply.

I called Babes again while I was walking on the wooden pathways towards my bungalow. The only light source aside from the few bungalows whose lights were on are from the sky.

Everything looked peaceful and calming— from the sound of the waves as they crashed to the sea and what seems to be whispers of the wind. If it isn't for my problem, I would've enjoyed this serene of a night.

My phone rang, breaking my chain of thoughts. When I saw that it's Babe, I immediately answered it.

"Babes!" Bati ko sa mataas na boses, pinipigilan lang ang sarili na mag-hysterical. "I've been calling you! You can't just ignore my calls and messages, you know?"

Babes sighed on the other line. "Sorry naman, sismars! Your clothes and necessities are on their way there plus I also fixed your schedule. Naayos ko na rin iyong mga flights mo dapat at saka mga proyekto mo. So far, wala namang umangal kaya pwede kang magbakasyon diyan ng ilang buwan..."

"What? No!" I said again, almost shouting. Kaya ko nga siya tinatawagan dahil aalis ako rito tapos sasabihin niyang magbabakasyon ako ng ilang buwan dito?!

"Anong no? First day mo pa nga lang diyan... don't tell me aalis ka?"

"Mhmm... book me the earliest flight you can find."

Sandali siyang natahimik, mukhang hinuhulaan ang dahilan kung ba't gusto ko nang umalis.

"Huwag mo nang isipin, kahiya naman sa utak mo," sabi ko sa natatawng boses.

Babes scoffed. "Sus! Aminin mo na lang na na-miss mo ako," aniya pa sabay halakhak kahit alam kong alam niyang iba ang dahilan ko.

I trust Babes but I didn't tell him. The only people who knows about what happened are my friends, my sisters and Mama. Aside from them, I never shared to anyone what happened. I kept everything a secret because I see no point in sharing my story to the world. Plus, it's the only thing that I can keep... something that I can treasure on my own... a piece of my life that no one meddles with.

"Kaloka ka! I'll book you a flight, don't worry." I let out a sigh of relief on what he said. "But for now, enjoy your stay there."

Even though he can't see me, I smiled widely. "Yay! Thank you so much! Mwa! Mwa! Mwa—"

I stopped speaking when I felt someone looking at me. I thought I was just feeling things but then I was right!

I squinted my eyes so I could see the person who was sitting outside his bungalow and how I wish I just pretended to be oblivious.

It's Martell.

Sandaling nagtama ang aming mga mata bago niya ito binawi at itinuon ang pansin sa kung saan. Ako naman, naglakad sa pinakatahimik at pinakakalma na paraan kahit naghuhumerantado na ang kalooban ko, biglang nako-conscious na nandito siya.

"Good night, Babes," I said on the other line and ended the call. If I'm not mistaken, he probably heard my conversation but oh well. It's not like he cares. I probably annoyed him with my noise.

I took my key card from my pocket and used it to open the door. I was already halfway inside but for some unknown reason, I stopped abruptly.

Pinipigilan ko ang sarili na tumingin sa kabilang bungalow ngunit hindi ko talaga napigilan at tuluyan nang dinala ang mga mata sa kinagawian niya.

Malayo ang kaniyang tingin at mukhang malalim ang iniisip. My heart ached out of longing. I want to go embrace him and shower his face with kisses. I want to talk to him. I want to know what he's been doing. I want to tell him how much I missed him. I want to tell him that there wasn't I day that I didn't imagine him being by my side.

Are you at peace, Martell? Are you happy? Did you find someone new? I hope she makes you happy. I hope she didn't break your heart. I hope you two are doing well.

Huli ko nang napagtanto na bumabalisbis na pala ang mga luha sa aking pisngi. Napailing na lang ako at tumingin ulit sa kaniyang gawi bago tuluyang pumasok.

This is the reason why I have to leave even though I want to stay here... not because I want to disturb his life... I just want to at least see him even from afar. But then, I'm still too affected even with just his presence.

This is also the reason why I distanced myself from anything that I think has something to do with him because I know that once there is something related to him; just anything that has something to do with him that I will welcome into my life, I will immediately ask and crave and look for more.

Katulad na lang ngayon, nagkita lang kami, bumalik na agad ang mga pilit kong binaon noon. Nagkita lang kami, parang nakalimutan ko na ang nangyari. Nagkita lang kami, naiiyak na ulit ako.

I've been longing for him for years. So now that he's here again, I know myself enough to know that I might do something to make up for those years even though I shouldn't.

Lumabas ako sa may pool area at doon nahiga sa may hammock. Dinama ko ang malamig na simoy ng hangin at ipinikit na ang mga mata.

Your heart is still broken, Galaxy, don't break it even more.